《Soulless: Twisted hell》Chapter 37

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“Ok, that is not a big selection of books, but it should be a proper gift nonetheless,” Galizur said once they’ve finally finished selecting the books from the chest, “there is just one more thing.”

“What?”

“I want you to add your favorite book to the pile. Consider it a sacrifice to appease the gods.”

Hazelmere started squirming bashfully: “But, why?”

“It will show the gods you are serious about this and will, hopefully, win their favor.”

She hesitated for a while, but Galizur didn’t rush her. Finally, she reached for the biggest stack of books inside the chest.

At that moment, Galizur realized something. The books were separated into neat stacks inside the chest, each stack containing the books with different content. He realized that the stack Hazelmere was reaching for right now was the only stack they didn’t take any books from. She found the book she had in her mind easily, clearly knowing where it was supposed to be. However, once she had it in her hands, she froze.

“Umm … Galizur?”

“Yes?”

“I’m… I’m not sure if … I have to tell you something. It’s embarrassing so, please, don’t laugh.”

“I promise I won’t.”

“I’m not so sure I should give them my favorite book. I’m worried it could cause a misunderstanding, or even an incident.”

“Why?”

“The book is … naughty …”

There was no mistaking her embarrassment. Her sour face, low ears, and ashamed look said it all. Even her tail wiggled slowly, like when a child is caught stealing a cookie.

However, the angels aren’t known for their discretion.

“You mean, it is an erotic book?”

“… yes …”

“I see nothing wrong with that. They are the demons, after all. They are the most lecherous creatures that exist. I bet they will like that one the most.”

“… but … still …”

“Besides, I am certain they don’t know how to read any of our languages. Or if they even have a …”

After a short pause, Galizur continued: “Ok, they certainly have a language because they have sent us their own books. I forgot these are the clever demons for a moment. There is nothing to worry about, they will have no idea what is written inside. Unless … does it have any drawings in it?”

“No, it has none.”

“Then it is perfectly fine.”

Reluctantly, Hazelmere put the book on top of the pile.

“Galizur … can I ask you something?”

“Sure, you can ask me whatever you want.”

“I am asking for a friend. I am worried about her.”

“Go ahead.”

“As I have said, I am asking for a friend. I am curious … what do the heavens think about … having …”

Galizur waited patiently, with a knowing look on his face.

“You know … about … about having an … intercourse … between a noble and a peasant?”

“The gods didn’t create the mortals to have them shun each other.”

“The church disapproves of it, calls it a sin, but … I was wondering … if you could shed some light on it for me.”

“Is this about you alienating your friend?”

Hazelmere looked him in the eyes, with a face full of relief.

“Yes. I’m glad you’ve realized I’m truly not asking for myself.”

“Hmm … yes, your religion does consider it to be a sin. However, the religions are much more focused on dealing with earthly matters than implementing the divine rules as they are. After all, that is their purpose. You, mortals, are limited creatures. Therefore, you can’t adhere to all the divine rules. That is why your societies have their own sets of rules. So, some compromises have to be made. The gods don’t care about who you mortals have sex with, they have much more important matters to worry about. As long as you aren’t harming anyone, of course. Then, the gods may take an interest, both the good and the evil ones. But, generally speaking, the gods don’t care. However, your religion clearly does, and that is probably because such things impact your society somehow. So, if a religion says that is a sin, then it certainly is one. However, not all sins are serious. Most of them can be forgiven easily. You should refrain from doing it, but you mortals don’t have to be sinless all the time. Besides, different religions have different sins. That wouldn’t be the case if those sins were divine in nature.”

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“I always thought that is because different gods have different sets of criteria for what a sin is.”

“That is what all the religions say and, of course, that is what they would say, wouldn’t they?”

“I … don’t understand?”

“Anyway, back to the topic. A noble person having sex with a peasant is a sin, but only because some social consequences are involved. The gods don’t care about that. That is why it is not a universal sin. For example, that is a perfectly normal thing in all the elven societies.”

“Well, that is because many unnatural things are considered normal in their lands.”

“That is because you aren’t the same race. What is unnatural to one race is perfectly natural to the other. So, while your friend is a sinner, that doesn’t necessarily make her a bad person. She isn’t a good person either, she is just an imperfect mortal. She is the very example of mortal neutrality.”

Galizur looked at Hazelmere with a satisfied look on his face: “So, are these the books you will be sending?”

“Yes, that’s it. It isn’t nearly as much as they have sent, but …”

“It is a show of goodwill.”

“Yes.”

“Speaking of goodwill, I think you and your friend should make up.”

“I … I would like to, but … I’m not so sure.”

“You don’t have to accept what she is doing. You are both adults, capable of making up your own minds, so having differences is perfectly fine. Just because you disapprove of what she is doing, that doesn’t mean you can’t still be friends. And it is obvious you care because you wouldn’t ask an angel such questions otherwise.”

“I … I said a lot of mean things to her.”

“Then apologize for it. If she forgives you, then you can be certain that your friendship is genuine.”

“But I really meant what I’ve said! If I’d apologize for it, I’d feel as if I’m betraying myself, what I stand for!”

“Then, tell her you still think what she is doing is wrong, but you are willing to ignore it for the sake of your friendship. It is not as complicated as you think. Friends don’t have to agree on everything. In fact, only when their friendship is stronger than their disagreements can people truly call themselves friends.”

He noticed Hazelmere was still hesitating, turning her eyes away from him.

“Just go for it and see what happens. You are clearly sorry, if not for the things you said, then for how you have said them. A simple sorry and a simple thank you can do wonders when used properly.”

Galizur stood up: “Alright, with everything sorted out, I will be going now. Do you need me for anything else?”

“No … and, Galizur.”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

He responded with a wholehearted smile.

---

“Umm … Mizette? Are you in there? May I come in?”

“No, I’m not here! Go away, and look for me somewhere else!”

Hazelmere had no idea how to respond to that. She even considered coming back some other time. However, realizing that time is the one thing she doesn’t have right now, she decided to do it anyway. She’d rather annoy her friend even further than leave without at least trying to bridge the gap between them.

She moved the curtain away as she entered Mizette’s tent, seeing that Mizette was clearly not in the mood.

“What do you want!”

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“I …”

Unsure of what would be the right thing to do or say, Hazelmere bowed deeply.

“I’m… I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being mean to you, calling you names, and doing other horrible things!”

The surprise was apparent on Mizette’s face: “Oh?”

Hazelmere lifted her head to look Mizette in the eyes: “I’m not saying I approve of what you are doing, I still think it’s wrong, but that was no way to go about it. I was too stubborn, wasn’t even willing to listen. And for that, I’m sorry.”

Mizette’s surprise toned down the venom in her voice: “I’m not asking you to give me your blessing, I’m just surprised you’re so eager to judge others. I thought that you, of all people, would be open-minded about it, if not accepting.”

“I still find it … disgusting, but I realize I have no authority over your personal matters. I am not your mother, and I don’t get to tell you whom you are supposed to be with, no matter how disgusting I think it is.”

“Disgusting,” Mizette shook her head in disbelief, “Hazelmere, you have no idea what you are talking about. I do appreciate the honesty though, but saying it is disgusting just shows you lack experience.”

“Excuse me, but that’s the one thing I don’t lack!” Hazelmere frowned, her gentle, peace-seeking expression replaced with a scornful one in an instant.

That only made Mizette chuckle: “I’m not trying to offend you, I’m just being honest here. Just like you are. You think that having sex with peasants is disgusting, and I’m telling you it’s not. You think it’s disgusting because you lack experience. Now, let me explain. I’m not saying this just to rile you up, I have a logical argument. May I proceed?”

Hazelmere’s frown didn’t go away: “Go on!”

“I bet your number is impressive. I am not saying you are completely inexperienced. But the number isn’t the only thing that counts! You are only fucking one type of guys, meaning that you lack the experience with the others! And you thinking that having sex with a peasant is disgusting is the best proof of it! Think about it this way: when you were a little girl and have found out that people engage in sex, didn’t you find it disgusting? Didn’t you wonder: why would anyone do such a disgusting thing?”

“Yes, I did, but what about it?”

“You thought so because you lacked the experience! The thing you used to find disgusting before isn’t so disgusting anymore because now you have experience with it!”

“That makes no sense! Let’s take the same example you’ve mentioned: have I had sex when I was that age, there’s no way I’d find it pleasant and exciting! Even if I had it every day, there’s no way I’d find it pleasant at that age, no matter how experienced I’d become!”

“Yes, that is true, but only because you weren’t mature enough. You just weren’t ready for it then, just how you aren’t ready to have sex with a peasant right now. Or are you?”

Mizette gave Hazelmere a sly smile, which immediately provoked a reaction. Seeing that made her stop with the teasing immediately.

“I’m just kidding! I’m just kidding! If you think it’s disgusting, that’s fine! But the point remains, you only think it’s disgusting because you didn’t develop a taste for it yet. You’re too stuck up in your usual ways to grow.”

“That argument makes no sense because you could use it to justify anything! Even the most disgusting things possible! For example, people having sex with the animals, that’s only disgusting because you didn’t develop a taste for it yet! People having sex with their own gender is only disgusting because you’re too stuck up in your ways! You could use that argument to justify any kind of degeneracy!”

“It’s not the same! You can’t say that having sex with a peasant is the same as having sex with an animal! They may be peasants, but they are still people, for heaven’s sake! There’s a clear line that separates normalcy and degeneracy!”

“And who gets to decide where the line is? You?”

“That’s actually a great question! Who gets to decide where the line is?”

“Well, it’s the gods, obviously!”

As soon as those words left Hazelmere’s lips, her expression became doubtful. Her eyes became unfocused, like when people start remembering something.

“You mean, the church!” Mizette responded, “The same church that holds all the mages responsible for the fall? The same church that is doing its best to keep us dependent on others? Do you want to make them the arbiters of what is degenerate? They consider all the mages to be degenerates, just because we can use magic that isn’t holy!”

Hazelmere started shaking her head: “I don’t know anymore! I don’t know! Listen, I’m sorry for being judgmental without listening to your side of the story! I really am! But don’t expect me to accept or like something I find disgusting! If you like doing it, that’s fine! I’m not perfect either! Just please, don’t bring it up when I’m around.”

“Ok, that sounds fair enough. I won’t bring it up, and you won’t either.”

“I promise!”

“But, just one more thing,” Mizzete gave Hazelmere a lecherous grin, “my offer still stands.”

“What offer?”

“I’m still willing to share,” Mizette smiled at her, but this smile was more genuine and less sly than the one before.

“Urgh! Thanks, but I’m not interested!”

Mizette lifted her hands up in defense: “Fair enough! The offer will remain, so if you ever get to have a change of heart …”

“I appreciate it, but it isn’t necessary! Anyway … I can’t help but wonder … how you got into it in the first place? I mean, did you just happen to wake up one day wanting to fuck a peasant, or were you attracted to them since the beginning?”

“That’s… that’s a much more complicated question than you think.”

“It’s ok, I’m willing to listen. Just because I find it disgusting, that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to understand it.”

Mizette let out a deep sigh: “Ok. But it’s not a happy story.”

“That’s ok.”

Mizette shifted in her chair as she brushed her hair away: “You know how we are supposed to stay pure until we become archmages.”

“Of course.”

“And, you also know how our families were overly protective for that same reason.”

Hazelmere nodded her head.

“So, I didn’t get to interact with the males. I would see them only during the official ceremonies. However, just like every other girl, I was interested.”

“Don’t tell me …”

“No! No! I did become the archmage, so I didn’t fall for it. The point is that, while my family did their best to protect me from the noble males, they couldn’t keep me away from the servants. Or they just didn’t see them as a threat, I don’t know. Also, the servants weren’t eager to interact with me. Just being caught talking with a lord’s daughter can be a punishable offense. So, they kept as far away from me as possible. But, eventually, I found one that couldn’t run away. He was one of the chef’s assistants, meaning that he had to be in the mansion all the time. So, I started talking with him. He wasn’t attractive, he was as ugly as every other peasant, but he was the one male contact I had at the time. He helped me discover my sadistic tendencies.”

“Sadistic?” Hazelmere’s eyebrow rose on its own.

“Just listen, and I will tell you everything. He was ugly, but he had a quality I have never seen before. He knew that talking with me could get him in trouble, so he tried avoiding me as much as possible. However, being a noble’s daughter, I had plenty of time on my hands, enough to observe the kitchen staff and realize when he had no choice but to be alone. So, I started visiting him every day, at the same time. It wasn’t that I saw him as someone I want to lose my virginity with, it’s that his reactions were priceless. The way he’d shy away from me, the way he’d become flustered and start making mistakes when I’m nearby, the look in his eyes which left no doubt he knew being alone with me is wrong. I loved making him feel uncomfortable. I found that to be very cute.”

“Are you serious?”

Mizette shrugged: “I just enjoy making males feel uncomfortable but in a good way. It is not like I was torturing him or anything. He enjoyed it all. Especially when I started brushing against him and touching him.”

Hazelmere blocked her face with a palm of her hand: “I don’t need to know every detail.”

“It wasn’t about sexual attraction, but about getting a rouse out of him. It was about hearing him beg for me to stop before someone sees us. If I am to be perfectly honest, it was about the feeling of power. I had the power over him, and it felt great. It was never about anything truly sexual. I would just use it to tease him.”

“Move on!”

“Anyway, that lasted for … almost a hundred years, I think. The kitchen staff is always doing the same things at the same time, so nobody found out about us for a long time. But, one day, the boy was gone.”

“What do you mean, gone?”

“He disappeared, never to be seen again. Officially, nobody knows what has happened to him, but I have my doubts. I think my parents found out about what I was doing and, fearing that their promising daughter could lose her virginity, they’ve arranged for the boy to disappear. Can you imagine the shame, your daughter losing her chance at becoming an archmage because she couldn’t control her passions? With a filthy peasant no less. Our family would be the laughing stock for centuries.”

“What that has to do with anything? How did that turn you into a peasant-lover?”

“I can’t really put it into words, I can’t explain it logically. But I’ll try. You see, fucking peasants goes beyond physical pleasure for me. I think that, for me, it’s an act of revenge, of defiance. My parents took my toy away from me, so I’ll do the exact thing that made them take it in the first place. Sure, I understand they did it for my own good. In the future, I may even do the same thing to my own daughter! I understand it was a logical thing to do, but I still want satisfaction. I feel my family has wronged me, so I enjoy wronging them in turn, by fucking the disgusting, filthy peasants. At least that’s how I rationalize it. I mean, why else would I enjoy it so much?”

“Whoa! Whoa! Are you serious? They took your toy away from you?”

“That’s all he was, a toy. I never had any feelings for him. He was there for me to experiment with, to see him squirm. I don’t even remember his name anymore. Although, I do feel sorry it ended that way. I do feel sorry for putting him in danger. But, I was a young and eager fool. I do those things in moderation now.”

“Yes, with four soldiers at once, during a guard duty.”

Mizette chuckled: “That was … a unique opportunity I couldn’t let pass me by. But I’ve learned my lesson. I won’t do it again. At least not next to a demonic portal. So, does my story please you? Is your curiosity sated?”

“Is that how you feel about Heartwell too?”

Mizette shifted in her seat: “I’m… not sure. These peasant soldiers are different from the servants I was used to. In a good way.”

“That doesn’t tell me much.”

“I’ve told you, I’m not sure. But you’ll be the first to know once I figure it out,” Mizette responded with a smile.

Hazelmere pondered what she had heard for a while. Then, she sighed deeply: “Truth be told, I had no idea you could be like that. I always saw you as a supportive, motherly character.”

“You don’t know the half of it. There are good reasons for why Cybil is never messing with me.”

“What, you are some kind of a bad girl?”

“The worst.”

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