By the way, I took into account that in the future I may need Bahion more than once, so I sealed in my soul a very good stash for a black day. This should be enough for me to initiate all the other tails, as well as perform a couple of divine-level miracles.

Having decided on my plans, I went to one of the planets inhabited by people. Ratar was in the zone of influence of the Empire, but at the same time it was considered as a backwater. The local administration regularly paid taxes and supplied recruits for the army, so Empire’s leaders didn’t pay attention to this city. And such situation of decaying well-being could be more suitable for the seeds of new Heresy to germinate in it.

The central administration of Ratar was located in a city called Ratartar. And for several years, daemon-worshipping cults have been hiding in this city. As always, the inhabitants of well-to-do worlds did not want to jeopardize their well-being, so the cults of Khorne or Nurgle had no chance of success. But enjoying Slaanesh and scheming Tzeentch seduced a lot of 'innocent' souls here.

Ratar had both of these cults competing with each other for attention from possible political and economic elite adherents. This same elite, of course, clearly understood what consequences may lead if they completely submit to one of the cults, so they skillfully played on the confrontation of the two gods of Chaos, extracting out all sorts of preferences here and now for the sake of a hypothetical flourishing of cults in the bright future. However, the daemons agreed with these rules of the game, could foresee a distant future in which the gradual decomposition of the powers of the incumbents inevitably led to the breakout of Chaos

Once on the planet, I used my new psionic powers to sneak into the chambers of the most powerful man on the planet, to governor Porzisco Staphone.

"Good evening, Governor.” - I said hello to a politician who was getting ready to take a break from state affairs in bed with a couple of concubines. Now he was in his office, drugging himself with aphrodisiacs provided by the Slaanesh daemons. Unfortunately for him, I had already slightly changed these compositions, so now they caused not sexual attraction, but excessive confidence in any interlocutor.

“Good evening” - Porzisco agreed, suddenly woozy. - "Who are you?"

"I am your secret well-wisher. I have recently heard rumors that you are trying to agree on cooperation with two cults of demon worshippers.”

"What? How do you know that?” - The corrupted politician tried to be afraid. Unfortunately, the elixir he drank completely suppressed the feeling of fear.

“It doesn’t matter.” - I shrugged it off. - "The main thing is that I sincerely wish your wellbeing.” - The politician nodded in fascination and stretched out in a comfortable chair, where it was so convenient listen to my speeches. – “Have you thought about what awaits you if you become a member of one of the cults?”

"Transforming into a daemon?" - Smoldering Porzisco suggested.

"Not exactly. I'm saying that the same Slaanesh already has a lot of followers, a lot of demons, billions of sycophants who are ready to do anything in order to snatch a little more power for themselves. What do you think, what is your chance to take a proper place in this hierarchy of power?”

“To be honest, I didn't think about it.” - The politician frowned, who has considerable experience in conducting intrigues and twisting tails of others. He understood more than anyone else that the struggle for power in a society where everything had already has been divided before him could be very difficult.

"It will be waste of time.” - I confirmed his fears. – “The attention of the Gods of Chaos is occupied by powerful demons, and it will be very difficult for a simple cult member to gain some attention, in order to receive the gifts from Gods.”

"What should I do?" - Porzisco asked, looking at me with an almost meaningful look. After all, the poison he had drunk did not blunt his ability to analyze the situation and draw logical conclusions.

"It's very simple. You need to create a new God of Chaos and become his first pope. Then you will be at the top of power pyramid from the very beginning. Your subjects will call you as ‘the first after God’”.

"I like the idea.” - The politician nodded in agreement, pouring a new portion of the poison into his glass and sipping it. - "But where are we going to get this new God? And where is the guarantee that his power will be equal to the Gods of Chaos?”

"Oh! There won't be any problems with that. I am the only person in this world who knows exactly how to create a new God of Chaos. As for how to make this God’s power great, it's even easier. What action does any living being every day in the universe, giving all his attention to the process?”

“Hm-m-m... having sex?” – My listener made an assumption, examining the aphrodisiac in his drink.

“No. It's hard to have sex every day. Of course, it depends on the physical condition of the body, but most people cannot have sex every day.”

"Well, if think more about it, people eat every day.” - The politician did another attempt.

“You suggest very close, but no. People don't always pay enough attention to this process. Many people eat while walking, some watch TV during lunch and others eat such nastiness that prefer not to perceive the taste of food. And besides, ‘gluttony’ is already one of the aspects of Slaanesh.”

"Well, then I don't even know.” - Porzisco gave up and sucked to the glass.

“Everyone every day goes to the toilet to shit.” - I expressed my brilliant idea. – “Moreover, as a rule, at this moment the person is not distracted by anything, so the process itself takes place with a high degree of concentration. And this is the perfect moment of worship for god - to the new God of Shit!

“Kha... what?” - The future priest choked with liquid.

"I propose to create a religion of worship for the God of Shit, in which you will be the pope. Everyone shits, whether they want to or not. You can refuse to eat, but if you ate, you cannot refuse to go to the toilet. If the new God is worshipped correctly, then all living beings in the universe will automatically become his followers. For example, let’s examine Khorne. He is god of death. He accepts victims in the form of death. Person can die only once. But he shits all his life! So, it is quite obvious which god will receive the most energy of faith.”

"That's interesting.” - The politician appreciated my idea. His eyes lit up with enthusiasm, and in his mind, he was already considering the possible pros and cons of such a cult.

Our further conversation was about the technical details of implementing this idea. I promised to the Judge that I would not use his Bahion. But this does not limit me to giving to other people the knowledge of how to use the energy of the Warp. Moreover, as a result, nothing unusual will happen - just in the depths of Chaos there will born another germ of God. This happens there every day, and our case differs only in that the characteristics of this god will be clearly defined in advance.

Only six months later, the first ritual of worship of the new God were conducted. I used my knowledge of Ritual Magic to create a magic circle that creates the germ of a new God and connects it to a specific ritual. In the first stage, this ritual will give energy to the new god. But when he became enough strong, he will be able to create new rituals of self-worship that are suitable for 'personal satisfaction of religious needs'.

The circular chamber was more than twenty meters in diameter. The walls which has 'the color of a baby’s surprise' rose high and curved into a high dome. In the center of the hall was a deep circular pool, in which many tons of fecal matter splashed and thoughtfully mixed. Around the perimeter of the pool were toilets on which the priests of the new God were making efforts to 'produce divine nectar'.

“More shit for God of Shit!!!” - A Great Praying rang through the hall. In time with it, there were multiple slaps of the specified substance, which rolled into the pool.

Despite the situation, the air in the hall smelled of roses and vanilla. This was the first Miracle of the newborn God, his Divine Phantasm. God of Shit had full power over the shit and was able to turn it into any other substance, such as flowers or even to gold.

The Poope of the new God stepped onto the gilded dais and walked across it to the geometric center of the entire structure. There he sat down on a golden toilet and completed the ritual of the Great Sacrifice. As soon as the first piece of blessed poo touched the surface of the filled pool, the sound of angels singing was heard. The shit rose high and fell, forming a humanoid shape. The new God of this world opened his mouth and took a deep breath... and farted loudly. This divine sound spread throughout the Warp, indicating the birth of a new God of Chaos. The Last and True God!

I watched this ritual from another planet and on record. I didn't want to be counted among the worshippers of the new God, either. The only purpose of observing this 'spectacle' was to check the accuracy of the ritual and develop a plan for subsequent actions. Everything went almost perfectly, and then the Poope had only to follow my instructions. By the way, the position of my friend was called a Poope, not a Pope, because his duty was not to eat on behalf of his god, but to shit and generating poo.

Over the next couple of years, the cult grew in strength, spreading rapidly across the galaxy. After all, to become a worshipper of the new God, you just had to learn a few prayers and mentally recite them during the daily act of sacrifice. But the 'buns' received from this worship could be evaluated in just a week. In particular, the human digestive tract and all other internal organs were normalized, excess weight was lost, and the muscles were filled with strength and volume without exhausting trainings.

And when the number of flocks crossed the necessary threshold, another ritual took place. This was my 'masterpiece'. An essence of absolute treachery and cunning. This ritual created the ceremony of worshipping of the God of Shit, after which any intelligent being became a sincere follower of the new God. It was enough simply to take participation in this priesthood voluntarily.

That is, roughly speaking, it was enough to decorate the toilet 'according to Feng Shui', and let the person shit in it. In result, on the way out of the toilet, we got a religious fanatic who fervently believes in the Mission of Shit. Moreover, even daemons were affected by this ritual. All you had to do was summon the demons, feed them until they were full, then let them shit in the decorated toilet. On exit, the most devoted worshipper of Slaanesh, Khorne, or Nurgle was instantly transformed into a slave of the God of Shit.

Needless to say, with such a 'cheat' the new religion has seized all power in the galaxy in just a few years. At the same time, all other Gods of the Warp lost their powers, because no one else worshipped them. Moreover, before the Warp had the color of blood, which was determined by the most powerful emotions of death that filled it. But some time ago, this color changed, so that now the Warp had the appearance of shit, and the portal to it resembled an opening anus.

By this time, I already knew exactly where the Star Gods of the necrons were imprisoned. It was enough for me to give task to the Poope to interrogate the re-subordinated daemons. They could not refuse to the closest figure of their God and revealed all their secrets.

As it turned out, the Star Gods of necrons were imprisoned in a Crystal Labyrinth, in the center of which sat Tzeentch, The Architect of the Fates. By the way I promised to visit him and now was the very time to fulfill my promise.

https://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Crystal_Labyrinth

I concentrated, opened the portal to Warp and dived into it. Streams of shit surrounded me, spun me around and threw me near the famous Crystal Labyrinth. Its transparent walls were stained by the influence of a new God, whose power poured freely into the endless labyrinth, absorbing and dissolving it in itself. With a vindictive grin, I made my way straight through the walls and headed for the Hidden Library.

During twenty years, my shadow clones have been exploring this labyrinth, learning the laws of multidimensional space. After all, the Crystal Labyrinth was located in nine-dimensional space, and its very appearance drove the mortals who wandered into it to madness. But I had a computer of the Ancients at my disposal, and it was easy enough to make a map of nine-dimensional space. Thus, I gained experience of living in a multidimensional space and kept it in the deepest levels of my soul.

I walked through the labyrinth without hiding, somewhere avoiding obstacles, and somewhere creating my way by force. A couple of hours later I destroyed another wall and found myself in a huge hall, in the center of which Tzeentch himself was floating in the air. Next to him stood the few daemons that remained under his command. However, it is worth to admit that they were his strongest subordinates, and unlike the other three Gods of Chaos, Tzeentch lost not so much of his powers.

"Greetings, Architect of Fate.” - I said hello.

"I can't say that I'm glad to see you, Atman.” – He answered.

"And yet here I am. Do you know why I'm here?” - I clarified. After all, he was the God of Fate, and he should have seen the variants of the future.

"You want to free the Star Gods of Necrons, whom I swore to protect”

“Everything in the world changes.” - I grinned at him. – “You should know that very well,"

"Yes, you're right. So, what do you want to offer me in return?”

"Protection from the infinite power of the new God. I'll leave Crystal Labyrinth under your power.”

"I wouldn't call it an equal exchange.” - The Great Conspirator complained.

"This is your only chance. The longer you think, the smaller your Labyrinth becomes.”

"All right, I agree.” - The game figure sighed. - "But this is not over. The game continues.”

“Of course.” - I chuckled insidiously. - "But you can sort it out without me. So, where are my Necron souls?”

Tzeentch stretched his hand, and materialized a golden key covered with complex patterns

"This Palace once belonged to Asurian, the father of Eldar Gods.” - Tzeentch began his speech. - "After Slaanesh killed him, I took the Palace for myself. But along with the Crystal Labyrinth, I also received the duty to keep the Necrons souls. I can't just give them to you, but I can exchange them for other smaller Necrons. I foresee your arrival, so I already have everything required.”

With these words, The Architect of Fate waved his other hand, and nine clusters of spiritual energy hung in the air, faintly glowing with green color. After that, he touched the souls with the key, and in place of each of them, another soul appeared. All of them radiated with huge power hidden in them.

I nodded in agreement and reached out my hand, sealing these souls in the fuinjutsu seal. Here in the Warp, they were almost powerless. But after returning to the material world, they will regain the right to be called the Star Gods. After that, I put my hand on the crystal floor and inserted a psionic program which will forbid the God of Shit to trespassing on someone else's property. This structure began to spread along the walls, copying itself. After a while it will reach the outer perimeter, where a new stable border of the Crystal Labyrinth will be formed.

"Well, I think it’s time to leave.” - I said goodbye to the local God. He didn't answer, so I slid back into the already closing gap in the wall and started walking away.

An hour later, I was on the planet Mardex, going down the passage of the Necron hideout. There I was met by a cheerful gatekeeper, to whom I showed the extracted souls

"Yes, they are!” - Whathefuck said solemnly after examining my catch. I didn't even have to go to his sarcophagus, because he teleported into the gatekeeper's hall just seconds after I arrived.

After that, there was a solemn ceremony of injecting these souls into new bodies, which have already been prepared by prudent necrons. But even I surprised by the subsequent events. After hearing the report on the events in the galaxy over the past sixty million years, the nine Star Gods began to decide which of them would go to the world of the Mass Effect to take part in my game. As it turned out, all nine gods were game figures. And most amazing thing was that each of them proved to the others that he should go with me.

"Why are you so enthusiastic?" - I asked when the dispute once again reached a dead end. - "Why do all of you want to go to another world?"

"Because of you." - One of the Necrons grumbled. - "We can't use Warp’s energy, but we can sense it perfectly. And thanks to your efforts, we feel like we're in deep shit up to ears.”

“So, are you sure that the universe in which my game takes place will be better?” - I grinned at him. – “I like to do radical decisions."

After that, the dispute withered and somehow quickly resolved, because only one of the necrons after mature consideration, Malikan agreed to go with me. Along with him, they gave me fifty Obelisks, five Minor Gods, and five hundred million Necrons to accompany me. Such army was huge force, but it was incomparable with the number of Eldars on Yanden. But in the past, the necrons destroyed the Old Ones, who created the Eldar, by also not having a numerical advantage. So, I have not yet made any assumptions about which of the allies will be more useful. As they say, we'll deal with it on the spot.

Together with the Obelisks that housed the entire Necron army, I went to the Stargate and once again opened the passage to the universe of Mass Effect. There was another unused address on my list of 'space worlds', but I decided I had already gained enough allies to handle the Reaper. So, I left the last world 'in reserve'.

I let the Necrons pass through the portal and entered the glowing canvas of the Stargate. But to my surprise, I came out of the portal not in the cosmos, as expected, but simply in the void. In the same void where my communication with all sorts of incomprehensible deities usually took place.

"YOU-U-U-U-U-U-U-U-U!"!!!!!!! How dare you?!!!!" - I recognized the voice of the Judge of this world, and then I saw him himself. - "I will destroy you!"!!!!!” - His words were oozing with hate.

“I protest.” - I heard the Being's voice. A second later, it appeared accompanied by another deity. – “My figure did not violate any game rules.”

"He transformed my Warp into a SHITWARP!!!” - The Judge screamed. I had to make a great effort not to laugh for such phrase.

"Well, actually his acquaintance did this. The figure himself did not take part in this.” – The Being objected. - "And besides, he even helped you."

"WHAT?"!!!! How could he help me?!!” - The Judge exploded, radiating anger and thirst for blood.

“Well... now, no one will steal your Bahion.”

After these words, the Being and third deity laughed nastily.

“Violation of the game rules was not registered.” - The third deity said. - "Moreover, considering your threats, this figure has immune for your judge. If you decide that he should be punished, you should go to a neutral judge for a decision. Is that clear to you?"

"Yes.” - The Judge answered with an extinct voice, and then disappeared into the void.

A second later, the third member of the show also disappeared, and I was left alone with the Being.

"Ha, ha, ha. It was the best joke in the Universe of the last era.” – It informed me. – “Transform the whole Bahion designed for the Great Exaltation into the Shit. You're the only one who could think of that.”

"To be greedy is not well.” - I murmured in response, laughing inwardly.

“I see, you decided to solve the assigned task with creatively way. I look forward to find out how this story will end.”

With these words, the Being disappeared, and a second later I was thrown out of the portal in the world of Mass Effect.