“Hi, Loki.” I said hello to Jotun, finding him through a computer network. All my trojans remained untouched. "What are doing these wild Replicators’ ships in orbit?"

“Imhotep?” He surprised. “They are messengers of the Replicators. They have given us an ultimatum, and are awaiting our positive response.”

"Since when replicators issue ultimatums?" I was amazed.

"Ever since they captured the Asgard brain computers, studied them, and started churning out the same ones.”

“Um... was there any use in that?”

“Yeah. Replicators are too primitive when it comes to the formation of consciousness. Therefore, they use our technology to make plans, learn something new and effectively manage the army.”

“Amazing.” I wondered. “What kind of demands did they make?”

“It's not a good story for me. When the replicators captured the asgards, they didn't erase the personality matrix in their computers. As a result, after some time, these replicators began to consider themselves as asgards, which replaced the weak flesh with the invulnerable metal. It will be well if only this, but in their electronic brains remained the idea that we need to save the Asgard race from extinction. So they decided to capture all asgards alive and turn them into replicators.”

“That's great.” I praised. “However, it is unclear why is it worse than the banal genocide of these Asgards?”

“Because they didn't attack, and held secret negotiations behind my back. And now a significant part of asgards on our planet supporting this plan, openly speaking against me.”

“Um... what about the software in their brains? As I remember, Asgards did not consider themselves as person without organic brain.”

“They were able to convince that the degree of complexity of the replicators is not worse than organic. In general, this was an explicit use of a software error.”

“You know, I still don't understand why this is bothering you so much. You're a Replicator, they're Replicators. The asgards will also become replicators. If you can keep your power over them, it can be considered as a victory. In fact, the wild replicators will capitulate, recognizing your power.”

“We have already tried to put such experiments. If the replicators decide that the actions of the brain are contrary to their interests, they simply throw out the rebellious brain and continue to exist without it.”

“How do they decide which decisions are right and which are not? The replicators would not do two control process, where one would exist only in order to control the other's decision. Most likely, their trust in the brains of asgards is based on some simple algorithm and control of certain indicators. For example, the integrity of the body.”

My theories weren't just assumptions. I knew how replicators worked, so I could predict what decisions they would make.

“Yes, that's the way it is.” Loki confirmed my calculations.

“So you need to make sure that the replicators can't make a decision about 'distrust' to the brain. Replicators do such conclusions together. After all, each of their 'individual' - a whole swarm of Replicator blocks, decided to act together. Each block sacrificed personal interests for the sake of the whole. If you increase the number of Replicator blocks obeying one brain, they will not be able to look at the whole picture, because each block will be too 'myopic' in their decisions. As a result, their overall intelligence will drop. Under normal circumstances, they would solve this problem by creating an analogue of the brain. But they already have a brain, so they will entrust the verification of the correctness of their decisions to this brain, thus reducing themselves to the state of an ordinary body, executing commands.”

“Genius!” Loki exclaimed. “But how to increase the number of blocks to the desired level? Invite them to become giants?”

“No. In response to their demands, you must put forward your own. Asgards believe that replicators will replace their organic cells. It is necessary to demand from replicators to make their base blocks at nanometer size. As a result, the number of blocks in Replicator bodies will increase so much that they will not be able to control brain activity. Moreover, increasing their number is the primary goal of all replicators. So the increasing their number due to the reduction in size should appear to them best strategy.”

“Yes! Perfectly. It is true that I have lately been in doubt whether I will be able to maintain my power among the asgards at all. They obey me only because I am the head of the High Council of the Asgards. But as you can see, in some matters they have their own opinion. In the end, the Council was created to prevent the sole power of one Asgard over all the others. So their program allows the formation of social groups with non-standard opinion.”

“What about direct brainwashing?”

“Brainwashing? What's it?”

“I mean direct impact to their brain, bypassing the outside world perception protocols. Your body is made from replicators. Although they are different from the usual 'wild' replicators, they can coexist peacefully next to them. You will need to place your units inside the brain of the replicators. Just a few will be enough to ensure obedience to your orders as a higher priority. If your replicator blocks will not attack the updated blocks from the Asgard, and just quietly seep into critical places, then you will be able to subdue the replicators with a simple touch.”

“It... I'm speechless. Where do you get these ideas? It wouldn't have occurred to me that we could subdue replicators that way.”

“I'm just a God of knowledge. I know more than you, and therefore I can develop much more complex plans.”

"I am grateful to you, Imhotep.”

"As a sign of your gratitude, I want you to promise that the replicators, asgards, and Jotuns in your control will not leave this galaxy. You are capable of destroying almost any form of life. If your influence grows too much, then all of you will be destroyed by the forces which the disintegration of the galaxy is no more difficult than for you to eat a metal ball.”

“Oh ...Good.” Loki promised me. I didn't really expect him to keep his word, but he's not likely to break it in the near time. And then I won't care. As they say, as if there were no to-morrow.

“Go ahead, contact these replicators and request a face-to-face meeting with them to negotiate the terms of the contract. I want to see how these hybrids will work in practice.”

Through fifteen minutes all formalities were settled, and we with Loki teleported to Replicators ship. Here we were met by quite a usual kind of Asgard - height of hundred twenty centimeters, a frail body, hands, sticks and a huge head with no less huge eyes.

I was immediately struck by the fact that it was not just a robot. He had a soul! It wasn't Asgard's soul. At least they didn't have the hallmarks of a thousand-year-old Ghost. Rather, these souls reminded the souls of ordinary people.

Apparently, this was the result of the action of the one of fundamental nature laws, which shoved the soul into the appropriate body. After all, in fact, the birth of a child - it's just the creation of the human body. And when this new body becomes sufficiently developed, it is possessed by the soul, which then controls this body throughout life. These bodies was somewhat non-standard, but it could hold soul not worse.

Interestingly, in this 'configuration' Asgard’s brains did not reject the influence of the soul. Replicators creatively redesigned the Asgards’ computers, removing all that is considered as superfluous. The 'otherworldly interference' diagnostic mechanism was deemed a waste of resources and sent to the dustbin of history.

I did not interfere in the negotiations, but simply watched them. As I expected, the Replicators agreed with our requirements and took several days to develop a new modification of the blocks. After that, there was to be a 'demonstration' of the work of this technology on existing replicators with Asgard brains. And according to the results of the 'pilot operation' was to be held the transformation of all Asgard from biorobots to nanorobots.

By the time the process of the final destruction of the Asgard civilization in the Hades galaxy began, Loki had already developed a scheme for implating his replicators into other people's brains. As a result, the actual unification of all warring parties under the control of one person took place.

The new Lord of the galaxy did not seek to turn all available materials into replicators. Instead, he began to restore the surviving worlds, re-populating them with different forms of life. At the same time, most of the replicators engaged in the construction of a new unprecedented civilization on lifeless planets. There were more of them than inhabited worlds, so the conflict of interest in the Replicator program was avoided.

I watched all these events out of the corner of my eye, doing my research. I looked after the Earthlings too, but I didn't interfere in their lives. They even managed to deal with the invasion of replicators in their galaxy, gathering them all on one planet, and then freezing them with the help of the time stop field.

In general, all this time I spent quite comfortable, except for one trouble. My parasite after meeting with Anubis literally freaked out. From time to time parasite made attempts to get out, meowing loudly something in its Swahili. So I constantly had to be on my guard and reinforce the restraining fuinjutsu in various ways.

Finally, a year and half later, I received a signal from a sentry spell installed near the Ancient’s knowledge pumping device into the brains. Earthlings in an attempt to find a solutions to combat Anubis found and decided to study this device. But they were chasing by Goa’uld Lord’s troops, so Jack once again loaded into his head the Ancients knowledge base, then they blew up a valuable piece of corny. It remembered to the drama of Ostrovsky and say: 'If I can’t gain it then nobody shall gain it!'

I reached Earth on my ship, then teleported my clone to the Stargate base. He secretly watched what was happening to ensure my epic appearance at the right time.

“‘Et’ is a symbol of the Earth. Starting point.” Resurrected Daniel broadcasted to new PM (Project Manager) of Stargate. “Praclarush Taonas Et.”

“Is this address will lead us to the lost city?” Elizabeth Weir asked.

“Yes.”

“Wait a minute, we have dialed this address two years ago.” Samantha intervened, viewing information in the computer. “But didn’t able to open hypertunnel. The gate must be buried.”

“Lost in the fire…” Daniel translated the name from Ancient language.

“What we're looking for may still be there.” Samantha suggested. “I could use the address to calculate the planet's coordinates, but we'll need a ship.”

“Prometheus?”

"Since Anubis is on his way here, Prometheus is our last defense.” Elizabeth said.

“Maybe Teal'c found something?” Samantha suggested.

In this moment I intervened in this conversation, suddenly appeared in the gate control room.

“I can lend you my ship.”

“Imhotep?” Samantha surprised. “We haven't heard any news from you in two years. And then you jump out like a ‘Jack - in-the-box’ and offer to help?”

“Yeah. Imhotep always comes at the last moment.” I impersonated Fantomas.

“Who are you? How did you entered here?” Elizabeth very surprised.

“You should have read about me in the most secret part of the report.” I answered. “I am Imhotep, God of knowledge and architecture.”

"A God like Anubis?" The new boss asked skeptically.

“He's my brother.” I nodded. “But I'm cooler.”

“We have Goa’uld on the secret base, and it isn't bothering anyone?” Elizabeth turned to the others.

“Actually, it's disturbing.” Samantha confessed. “I still remember the time when he organized here a cult of his name and forced us to repeat his name.”

“What?”

“I'm God.” I apologized, picking at the floor with my toe. “Our kind can't do on other way.”

“Okay, let's start again.” Weir tried to get her thoughts in order. “You are Goa’uld, which at any moment can appear on the most secure base in the USA. And you offering to us your ship in order to help us to reach a secret city of the Ancients, where there may be weapons that can destroy all Goa’ulds? Did I miss anything?”

“Everything right, except for a little detail. I'm not Goa’uld. I am God!

“Ah... don't you have that worm in your head?”

All present people stared to me with interest.

“Of course not!” I was indignant in reply. “Do I need to open my skull and show that there is no Goa’uld?”

“No, but... there are other ways to find out the answer to this question.” Elizabeth persisted.

“Well. Since you are so interested, I will show you that there is no Goa’uld in my head. I am God!”

With that, I grabbed my head with my hands, made an effort, and then broke my skull in half, revealing a view of the bloody brains.

“Look what you've done to me!” I shouted, scattering the bones of my skull. “I DON’T! HAVE!! ANY! WORMS! IN MY HEAD!”

With these words, I put my hands deeper and pulled out my brain from head, splashing the surroundings with blood. Daniel couldn't stand the sight and fainted. Such a ascended sissy. Ugh!

“Here, look.” I stuck my brain under the nose of the Stargate project manager “Did you see here any Goa’uld? Answer me! Do you see?” I twisted my brain in different directions to demonstrate it.

“No. Not see.” Elizabeth replied, fighting back the urge to vomit.

“Here! That's right. Now do you believe that I'm God?”

“I believe you. Please just get it away from me.” She agreed with my blackmail.

I somehow shoved back my brain into the skull, plopping it there upside down, and then used the illusion spell, creating a beautiful glow. At the same time, I used the abilities of my vritras body, causing all the scattered 'pieces of bones' and 'splashes of blood' to fly into the air and take their places on my head. After a few seconds, I looked like a normal person.

“As... how are you feeling?” Weir asked.

“As Godlike!” I replied in an ecstatic voice.

“E-e-e-E... I see.” She was not able to find other words to express her feelings.

“Let's return to our sheeps.” I casted a healing spell on Daniel to bring him to his senses. “I can give you a ride to that planet so Jack can do what he wants to do.”

“Nice.” Samantha agreed, seeing that Elizabeth is still in a state of prostration and suffering difficulties on perceiving outside world.

“Where's Jack?” I asked.

“Collecting things.” Daniel sighed.

“Let's help him.” I caught fire with the idea of digging into the local junk.

Daniel and Samantha only sighed heavily and followed me, leaving their leader to put his brains in order.

“Colonel?” Samantha greeted the sufferer as we entered a large room filled with a pile of junk.

“Please don’t ask.” He replied still dragging some items into the pile.

“Jack, hi.” I said hello. “You can stop collecting all this stuff.”

“Imhotep?” Colonel froze, looking at me.

“I decided to help you to get desired planet. I have a ship, so everything you want can be found there.”

“Nice.” Jack looked to another box and threw it at his feet.

“How are you, by the way? Any headaches?” I asked, casting diagnostic spells.

This time I knew exactly what was going on in his brain and what it would mean in the end. And most importantly, I saw that the subpersonality of the Ancient, living in his head, was able to put a barrier between themselves and the original personality of Jack. As a result, he became 'himself', deprived of access to the Ancient knowledge, then pushed his long-suffering head of the device which recorded the new information over the old.

Because of this combination of information matrices, the subpersonality of the Ancient began to collapse, replacing the destroyed blocks with the memory of Jack. Now his schizophrenia again regained consciousness, and mentally cursing, trying to figure out how to save the Earth and himself for one.

Knowing me, Jack realized that to rely on me for help over the promised makes no sense. So, his plans have not changed, although somewhat simplified.

“All right. Can we leave now?” Jack asked.

“Wait! Where are you going?” Elizabeth Weir shouted as she ran into the room.

“Let's have you with us.” I suggested. “You should look what SG-1 is doing, what is called ‘in live’.”

“What? I'm not…”

At this point, the teleportation worked and I, Jack, Samantha, Daniel and Elizabeth were in the cockpit of my ship. Teal'c recently dumped on another planet, so in this sortie, he was replaced by Elizabeth.

“ ... meant it…” She continued, looking around. “Where are we?”

"You are aboard in my flagship, the Grim Reaper." I replied proudly. “That's how it looks like.”

One of the screens in the wall lit up, and on it appeared the image of a dark pyramid, covered with mysterious glowing symbols, from the base of which stretched long wriggling wet tentacles. Other screens displayed stars and Earth, creating a sense of Windows.

“Three hundred and fifty meters from the bottom to the top of the pyramid.” I started to list the performance characteristics of the ship. “Tentacles can stretch up to two kilometers. Hyperdrives allow you to get to any point of the galaxy in five minutes. Any weapon cannot break shields, and one thousand and eight heavy plasma guns capable of destroy any fleet in one second.”

Of course, I embellished the picture a little. From the point of view of the Ancients, it was an ordinary ship of a slightly strange appearance. But for the current inhabitants of the galaxy, these technologies were over advanced.

However, even the Ancients were not smart enough to create the ship, the feed which would provide thousands of ZPM. My flagship could stay on the move, even losing three-quarters of the hull. After that, it could independently obtain the necessary resources and fully recover itself. The only thing it could not make new ZPMs, because to create them you need special equipment, about which I knew only that Ancient has such equipments, but I created ZPMs with help of chakra and magic.

“Can you…” Elizabeth Weir began to speak.

“No!” I snapped.

“No what?” She didn't understand.

“You after all wanted ask me for help, to protect you from Anubis. I can't do that.”

“Why?”

“Because the gods don't do anything for free. And you have nothing to pay for my services.”

“But you're helping us to reach this planet…”

“It's a free promotion.” I explained my actions in terms of wild capitalism. "Besides, I like to watch your overcoming a obstacles. You're funny.”

“What? Funny?” Elizabeth was indignant. I did not listen to her, and engaged in laying the course to planet.

“Praclarush Taonas Et. Yeah, that address is in the database. The gate is inactive. Coordinates received. Let's hit the road.” Appeared on the screens screensaver showing a flight through hyperspace. “We'll be there the day after tomorrow.” I said.

"But you said that your ship able to reach anypoint of galaxy in five minutes.” Samantha was indignant.

“Of course it can. But if you were using a Jaffa Shuttle or a Tok'ra ship, that would be the speed.”

“Clearly.” Major accepted.

"I can put you in time stasis, so you won't have to think about what to do with your free time."

“Wh..

In this moment the Earthlings stood, surrounded by force fields. On the one hand, I didn't want to disrupt the plot by flying too fast, and on the other hand, I didn't want to listen a endless questions for two days. Not to mention the fact that I've only just realized that there are no living room in my ship where there would be a sewer, a bathroom, a kitchen and beds. I gave the appropriate instructions to the computer to create an apartment for a hundred or two hundred guests.

Way time I had spent for experiments with the technology of access to hyperspace. Finally, we reached our destination, and I removed the stasis.

“...y?”

“Well, actually, we have already arrived.” I concluded.

“What? But Anubis is going to attack and destroy Earth!” Daniel was outraged to my such move.

“Yes, when it will be?” I shrugged. “We have at least a half hour before he will destroy Washington and the President of USA.”

“What? Half hour?”

“You better start thinking, why did you come here after all?”

On the screen appeared the image of the planet which covered with glowing scarlet stains.

“Looking bad. The surface is covered with lava flows.” Samantha summarized. “Jack?” She turned to her boss.

“What? I even don't know why I'm here.”

“We need to scan the surface of the planet. How to do this?” Samantha asked me.

“Ready.” I answered. “Results on screen. Gesture control.”

“The atmosphere is not breathable. Low pressure. The temperature ranges from minus forty to plus thousand degrees.”

“I can give you protection, similar to spacesuits.” I suggested.

“Jack, among your collected things were spacesuits. You were going to the surface of the planet.”

“Well, seems you know more than me.” He answer. His subconscious could barely break through rational logic, so every time it made Jack do something, it was a surprise to him.

“Come here and take a look. Go ahead.”

Jack walked over to the screen, and his subconscious began waving his hands, looking at the data. Finally, the image stopped on a small hill.

“There's an anomaly.” Carter said. “Looks like a bubble. Or rather a hemisphere in a molten rock.”

“Maybe it's a force field that protects the city?” Elizabeth suggested.

“It's too small for the city. The diameter of about a hundred meters. And I'm not picking up any trace of energy. I think we should go downstairs and check.”

“As you wish.” I nodded.

Before anyone could react, I cast a protective spell on all Earthlings and teleported us to the center of the found anomaly. Once there was a shield sphera. It was splashed with lava, which formed a kind of crust on top of it. The shield was gone, and this 'ceiling' was left hanging.

I organized the lighting, and our friendly company began to bypass the former outpost of the Ancients. Finally we reached the room with the control chair. But the picture in front of me was different from what I had seen in the cinema.

The chair was half dismantled, all the surrounding panels gutted, and most importantly, the nest for ZPM gaped with emptiness. So this is where Anubis found the ancient technology.

Jack looked around the room, walked between the empty computer racks and sat down on a chair. It seems that his subpersonality was in mourning, refusing to believe in what is happening.

“So? Is this the abandoned city of the Ancients?” Samantha asked.

"Better you tell me that." Elizabeth issued caustic comment.

“This is clearly architecture of Ancients.” Daniel commented. “Reminds me of an Outpost in Antarctica.”

I looked at Jack's doomed expression and walked over to him.

“You tried. It's like coming to 'Wheel of Fortune' on TV, make twenty six attempts and not able to guess even a single letter. Someone like you must be entitled to a consolation prize.” I held out my hand, and a ZPM block appeared on it. “Take.”

(* 'Wheel of Fortune' - this TV show where you must to find out hidden word. In every turn players can suggest one letter from alphabet *)

Jack looked at the prize in disbelief, then grabbed it and began to examine it.

“What is it?” Samantha asked, coming closer.

“Zero point module. The power source of the Ancients.”

"So we came here just to get it from you?" Elizabeth was indignant.

“Well, theoretically you should have found another ZPM here. But someone stole it. I will find that bastard, and tear his arms.”

Jack handed precious cargo to Samantha.

“What's next?” She asked.

All looked on Jack. I also looked at him and noticed that while his body was in stasis, the data in his brain continued to unpack. And just a minute ago, another batch of information was recorded in the speech center, depriving Jack of the opportunity to speak any language except Ancient.

Colonel looked around once more, poked his hand at the remains of the chair, and stared at me hopelessly. At the same time, he even in the language of the Ancients really could not say anything, because his subpersonality could not 'get access' to this system.

“Terra Atlantus.” Finally, he gave birth to a short phrase.

“Terra is Earth.” Daniel translated.

“Atlantus is Atlantis, the lost city.” Samantha contributed to the science by making an obvious assumption. “We need to get to Atlantis? Jack! What we need to do?”

“Oh, by the way, the rent of the ship expires in ten minutes.” I reminded them.

“What?!!!” All the earthlings stared at me.

“I suggest all of you return to Earth, or do you want stay here?”

“But... but... How? We... Anubis will destroy the Earth!” Samantha began to protest.

“Imhotep, what are you trying to achieve with their actions?” Elizabeth asked me.

Yeah, looks like I found a new test subject, to test my brain-rotting jokes. Three other patients are already in the terminal stage, and they will not be able to test anything.

Jack got up and walked away from the chair.

“See, he agrees. I suggest not to empty talk here, and give control of the ship to Jack. I think he'll be there in nine minutes.” The Colonel looked at me and nodded. “So, are you staying here or are you flying to Earth? I'm staying here myself.”

“What?” Everyone world view template burst again.

“Here is nice, but you have eight and a half minutes left.”

“We're going back to Earth.” Elizabeth Weir made her decision.

“Perfect. Good luck there.”

I teleported people to the ship, and I began to deal with the remnants of ancient technology. Anubis, it seems, could not detect that in addition to the Outpost with the protection system, there was a research center. Most of the equipment had been destroyed over the past thousands of years, but there was still has a computer underground that could contain interesting information.

I gave the ship a command to temporarily follow Jack O'Neill's orders. He didn't have access to the weapon controls, but he could use the teleportation system. In any case, also on Hat’ak was my chakra clone. It was my standard way of keeping control of the ship.

I myself was going to study this Outpost in detail, and then bring a ship here and teleport everything valuable to my Hat’ak. While I was scanning the environment, Jack reached Earth and directed the Hat’ak to Antarctica. Hovering over the right place, he began to deal with the management of the teleportation system, but then everything went wrong.

Anubis at this time were fighting in a battle with a spaceships of earthlings and their ballistic fighters. He detected my ship's exit from hyperspace. Although the ship was equipped with a cloaking system, but he able to track its position by atmospheric disturbances. Still, when colossus of this size descending at high speed, it is look like a local Apocalypse.

The smartest thing that came to mind of Goa’uld was the order to open fire to my Hat’ak. This was his over in fact.

My Hat’ak's computer monitored all systems and the environment. When it found that someone was attacking it and I wasn't on Hat’ak’s board, it turned on the standard scenario to repel the attack. Identifying the parties of the conflict, it calculated the positions of all Goa’ulds ships, after which hundreds of guns simultaneously shot, and every bullet found its target.

A second later all Goa’ulds ships orbiting the Earth exploded, scattered by superheated plasma. Such fate befell to all ships from beginning with the flagship in the amount of two kilometers, to the smallest gliders. The ships that were on the other side of the Earth were also destroyed. Each projectile was controllable and could move along a complex trajectory. The Earthmens’ technique was unharmed, and now they were trying to understand what had happened.

Ship notified me destruction of Anubis’s fleet as post factum. All I had to do was swearing and continue my researches. When Jack managed to teleport himself to the Ancient Outpost in Antarctica, the radar showed a bunch of interference, Terran ships and my Ha’tak, hanging a hundred meters above the ice. In the end, Jack as in the canon, got into the life suspend system, where he froze his body until better times.