《These Games of Ours (Old)》Almost, but not quite the Final Update
Advertisement
Holy shit it feels so long since been here.
Quick question: This page has 134 followers, but 419 people viewed the last note I posted.
How?
Anyway. Unfortunately, I got bad news, and maybe good news?
Spoiler: Spoiler
Long Version:
Spoiler: Spoiler
I've been working with an editor for the past (7 months?). Unfortunately, he didn't think the product was good enough to publish because of my inexperience and the lack of feedback I've received on my prose writing (grammar, clarity, descriptions, flow, etc. In summary: the ideas are good, the execution is bad). He warned me this would happen before we started, so it didn't come out of no where.
He showed me the feedback he had for the first chapter and oh god he's right. For a web novel I think its good, and if I self publish I feel confident I'll get 4 stars with all the changes I made, but that's not the route I want. The guy is amazing at his job. If I can make something that he sees as good then I feel like I've become good enough to start nailing out books full time. He did offer to spend what free time he has doing more line by line edits, but he warned me it was going to be a slow process because he was busy with his own book and job as an edtitor.
So here is my plan: I'm trying to implement all the feedback he gave me on Tgor onto Brutality (which is now named Guild Wars).
Once I finish Guild Wars, and do a full edit twice or three times, probably, I'll send it to the editor. If he thinks its good, then that means I am now good enough to fix the issues with Tgor. I'll fix it, and if it gets accepted I'll begin on the second book.
Advertisement
If he doesn't think my new book is good enough, then I'll edit Tgor again, but this time I'll send both manuscripts to different publishers. If no one accepts, I will be very, very sad, but I'll self publish anyway. I already paid 400 for a cover so fuck it. If my self-publishing fails (Anything less than 4 stars usually kills a book) I'll probably have to quit thinking this as a full-time job, and have it be just a hobby.
Short Version:
Spoiler: Spoiler
Manuscript got rejected. Editor showed me what needs improving, and suggested I work on my writing as a whole before trying to fix the manuscript again. Planning on finishing Guild Wars, the new novel I started, learn from it, and submit it for publication to the same editor. If he accepts, awesome. That's best-case scenario. If he doesn't, I'll send it to other publishing companies. If that doesn't work, or if I don't get a good deal, then I'll self publish. If that fails, then I'll likely give up on becoming a full-time author and do this as just a hobby.
Whichever version you read, I'm still thinking about what to do with the manuscript I have on my hands rn.
I don't know if you guys want to see the current version. I do think it's an entirely different story with the same basic concepts. To put it in perspective, there more new words than the old ones (which means I changed/added/deleted over 60k of the novel itself
Not sure if I should post it in big chunks here, or make a new fiction page. This would be the 3rd time I did a complete overhaul, so I don't know if it's honest to do so.
Yeah, having people rate it and followers does feel nice, but I actually do need feedback on it. The editor stressed how important it is to get feedback from people, and honestly it does make sense. There is no point in editing if I don't know what I'm editing for. Knowing what I did wrong with Tgor might help me prevent making the same mistakes in Guild Wars, so just for that, I'm leaning towards it.
Advertisement
Anyway, those are my thoughts. Again, sorry for those that had to deal with an unfinished story for so long. Still trying to figure it out.
Advertisement
- In Serial53 Chapters
Millennial Mage (A Slice of Life, Progression Fantasy)
The world is wild, untamed. Humanity thrives, but only in isolated, well defended cities, ever shrinking as the wilds slowly reclaim all that was taken. The most capable magic users are raised up as Mages to serve mankind, further their cause, and defend them over the course of millennia. Tala is freshly graduated from the magic academy and determined to make her own way in the world. She hopes to pay off her massive debts, quickly, but still plans on living each and every day to the fullest. Too bad the Academy left some glaring holes in her practical education. Loath to let that slow her down, and with no patience for a standard, low-paid apprenticeship (intended to fill many of those knowledge gaps), Tala strives to learn and improve as rapidly as she can on her own. Her unorthodox methods for preserving her own life allow her to take greater risks in search of profit and advancement, much to the surprise of those around her. I do hope you enjoy this tale, but let me know what you think either way! Critique, both positive and negative, is welcome. Release schedule is weekly: M-W-F Thank you for your time and for giving this story a try. AUTHOR'S NOTE: If this is found on a site other than Royal Road, or the linked Patreon, it was not posted by the author. Please find this tale, here: https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/47826/millennial-mage
8 461 - In Serial6 Chapters
Hail the King
When the common folk hear of the Hell King, they think of many different things"It is the king of monsters!" "A calamity unfolded that knows nothing but destruction" "The true pinnacle of hatred and wrath." "A savage demon that eats children" "It's no doubt the king of despair as well as every child's bed monster." However, when you ask those scholars of ages long past, they will answer "It is one of the many riddles of life, one that no man has yet solved." "It is a great question, one so great that you shouldn't ask." "I honestly don't know." "Truly child? Since youth have I dreamed of meeting it, and you expect me to fullfill such a task in my lifetime?" "Nobody truly has any evidence it is evil, yet at the mere mention of the name I tremble in fear." One thing is for sure. Nobody truly knows who said Hell King really is. Not the greatest of cultivators, the grandest of swordsmen nor the wisest of sages. Nobody even knows where the stories of the Hell King come from, and yet everybody knows them. This is a story about a broken man, a man cursed by the heavens, an enigma to the whole world, a ruler of a dead kingdom and a monster born out of despair. "I wish not for women, I wish not for gold nor do I wish for happiness. All I wish for is to be granted eternal rest."
8 178 - In Serial110 Chapters
The Undeniable Labyrinth
New Chapter every day! The Legion Consortia Galacium was the greatest civilization that ever existed. It stretched across the galaxy, made up of more than ten thousand distinct human cultures with over two hundred thousand inhabited worlds. Millenia in age it was connected through a system of extra-spacial conduits called The Mirror Maze. It was said that one could walk from one side of the galaxy to the other in less than a hundred steps. It was a marvel of technology, art and peace. Until The Macros came, and in a blink of an eye it was destroyed. The Macros are beings of pure motivated Trinary code. They broke out of The Mirror Maze nearly instantaneously across the Consortia, inhabiting and taking control of the technologies from the most advanced worlds to the least. With no defenses capable of stopping them, they spread throughout the galaxy, destroying interstellar culture after culture. Far from the center of galactic civilization, The Palmyr Century was isolated enough to get advanced word of The Macro invasion. The Palmyr was able to close it’s Mirror Maze gateways to the rest of the Consortia and walled off i’s populated worlds from the threat of The Macros. For more than two hundred and fifty years this protection stood, until it was breached by Althea Ram. Althea Ram, born on the planet Emerald in Palmyr Century was Trinary coding prodigy. This skill lead her to be recruited by a group, the ZAT, an organization engaged in illegal research into Macro code. When found out, the ZAT was eliminated on orders of The First Centurion. Althea escaped with her newly created AI, Dorian. A fugitive, she found herself betrayed time and time again. Ultimately she joined a group organized by the Rian telepath Shirae Valerian. Shirae made a deal with Althea for her own reasons and provided her with a Mirror Port which would allow her to reach the Lost Worlds outside The Palmyr. While she is driven to discover the secrets of The Macros, Althea is still drawn back to The Palmyr by the unfinished business that has defined her. The Promethead is her story. And inside the Undeniable Labyrinth is where the journey begins.
8 217 - In Serial52 Chapters
The Man Who Walked in the Dark
Just because it can be found, doesn't mean it should. All things found, all things fixed. Jude Demarco was the best private detective Nicodemia Station had ever ignored. Detective, handyman, medic. He was a bulldog who tracked down every lead and wouldn't let go until the bloody truth died dripping in his jaws. Even if someone got hurt. Even if someone got killed. You lost it? He can find it. When a collector arrives in a private cruiser from Earth looking for a stolen painting, Demarco has to decide if a few dimes are worth dealing with the worst of the worst in Nicodemia Station. It'll pit him against crime lords, government bureaucrats, and, even worse, the Catholic Church. If there's anything folks get too passionate about, it's art and religion. No sane person would take a job that mixed the two. Then again, sometimes a person just gets desperate.
8 143 - In Serial82 Chapters
The dragon witch
Sasha will destroy the King and free her sister. Her life goal is as simple as that. Or it would be, if the King hadn’t sent one of his knights, Elias. Sasha is in for the surprise of her life. Finished Story
8 266 - In Serial18 Chapters
The Two Stories of Frontier Online: A Tale of A Boy and A Beast (Dropped)
Two brothers have anticipated the arrival of a new VMMORPG called Frontier online, a game Where the players create the game, from all the towns, kingdoms, NPCs, even the monsters that spawn in certain places and what loot they drop. Having missed out on Beta testing the game, the two brothers dive into the game, and when entering given the choice: Do you want to be a race of the [Kingdom], or do you want to be [Beast of the Wild]. (Leaving the original tag off, and the fan fiction tag on, due to unknown if someone else is doing something like this. Warning: If my grammer is bad, or my wording is wrong, its because this is my first time writing and do not understand customs that well.)
8 226

