As soon as they stepped out of the porch, a young pair greeted Ice and Sea cheerfully.

“Hey there sis! We were just about to get you. You sure took your time tending to this guy while leaving our stomachs complaining. You’re the one tasked to make breakfast you know.”

“You better hurry up with those sandwiches Sea. Father and the rest are already looking pretty bad.”

It was a boy with spiky caramel colored hair and an older-sister type with similarly colored hair tied up into a neat ponytail.

Judging from how they all resembled each other, Ice surmised they might be Seas siblings, or at least her cousins or close relatives.

Sea made an apologetic smile, reached for a sandwich in the woven basket and gave it to the boy. “Sorry Vee. It completely slipped my mind. Here you go Ein.”

The boy hurriedly grabbed the sandwich and proceeded to take large bites out of it.

“Whoah! Premium Gran Sirius beef! It’s great to have a sister with an above average paycheck huh. Mmm… dash guhd… *munch *munch”

Sea raised an eyebrow and proceeded to scold the boy sternly.

“Ein! Eat with a little more tact. And what did I tell you about being picky? Stop removing the lettuce and properly eat your greens!”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. Anyway sis, aren’t you gonna introduce us?” The boy gestured to Ice with his chin.

“Oh, right! Ice, this is my little brother Ein and my older sister Veenah. Guys, this here’s Ice.”

“Hi bro. Nice to meetcha! Names Ein. Hope we get along.”

“Hello there Mister Ice. I’m Veenah Seyramour. You can just call me Vee. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

The boy, Ein, gave Ice a toothy grin and the older sister, Vee, slightly lifted the sides of her knee length skirt made a small curtsy. Ice replied with a smile of his own.

“Hello. It’s nice to meet you too. I’m Ice. Unfortunately I don’t know much else about myself apart from my name.”

“___Lying so blatantly still feels really awkward…”

Both Ein and Vee immediately gave genuine looks of concern after hearing about his supposed amnesia, which hurt Ices’ conscience a bit. But at least, this sounded less crazy than someone arriving from another world. Probably.

“Man that must suck. But no worries; you can just stay here until you memory returns. My friends and I were the ones who found you passed out near the village entrance by the way. So we dragged you back here to get you patched up.”

Ein gave a thumbs up and tried to console Ice.

“Really? Thank you very much for your kindness. But isn’t that awfully nice treatment for someone who’s practically a stranger?”

“Nah, don’t sweat it. We’re used to a lot of shady characters like you ending up here in Maleena. Must be that ‘living in harmony’ thing we have going on. Sides, if you really turned out to be a bad guy, Sea here’ll see to it that you’re dealt with no time flat! My sister’s quite strong you know.”

Ein gestured towards Sea with a hint of pride in his voice.

“___He must respect his sister a lot. Then again, lots of kids do.”

Ein came up to him suddenly and poked him with his elbow with a mischievous smile on his face. “…You know… by the looks of it, you don’t really seem to be such a bad guy. You even got Sea sticking around you so closely. Guess she must really like you huh? Hehehe.”

Seas cheeks immediately flushed red and proceeded to shout at her brother to stop him from teasing them any further. “Ein! Will you stop that! You’re embarrassing me!”

“Oh boy! She’s mad! Run for your lives!”

“Ein!!!”

The sight of Sea blushing furiously while chasing Ein around was a pretty refreshing scene for Ice. He was an only child so he didn’t quite get how it felt to have a sibling. And it reminded him of Tim and Lin…

“___I practically stood Lin up right?… Wonder what she’ll say when I get back… She probably won’t talk to me for a week huh……. Like I know how to get home in the first place…”

Ices’ mood was slowly turning for the worse. He forgot all about it while engrossed in talking with Sea but he was reminded about the problems he had once again.

“Mister Ice? Is something wrong? You look awfully pale.”

Vee noticed the change in Ices’ mood and inquired worriedly.

“No. It’s nothing. Guess I’m still feeling a bit under the weather. I’ll be fine after a light walk.”

He put a stop to his depressing thoughts and smiled at Vee to ease her worries.

“Oh. Were you going to have a walk around the village with Sea? How about coming with us first. Most of the villagers are busy preparing the spring baths and facilities right now. Today’s St. Leevans day so a lot of patrons who are having their holiday break are expected to come soon. We’ll give you a quick tour and introduce you to the rest of the villagers.”

More acquaintances = More chances to gather relevant info. Ice decided to go along with the invitation.

“That would be great. Please lead the way.”

“Alright then. Right this way please. Sea, Ein let’s get going! Father’ll be close to passing out if we don’t deliver those sandwiches soon.”

“Be right there! Come here you little rascal!”

“Ow! Watch the hair! Took me ages to fix it… Coming sis!”

And so, Ice accompanied the siblings and headed together with them to the village entrance.

***

The holiday air was definitely up as various decorations were being set up to liven up the place. Apparently, St. Leevans Day was El Fabulas rough equivalent of Valentines Day, and they’re expecting lots of couples to flock to the village for some R&R and maybe a bit of steamy outdoor ‘activities’ *wink *wink…

The villagers were quite used to it and prided themselves with protecting the guests privacy. Although some people do attempt to sneak in to take some covert voyeur mana-vision recordings (this worlds’ version of video), they are easily dealt with by the village patrol.

The problem starts when the villagers themselves get involved in these shady incidents. But nothing really major has happened because the village elders were quick to crush such attempts too. Ein confessed to trying to peek for a bit sometime ago (much to Seas chagrin) but he and his cohorts were caught and were confined to their rooms for a week.

***

Finally arriving at the main reception building where the siblings parents were, the group was immediately greeted by a tall, blonde haired [1]bishounen.

“Sea! I was waiting for those sandwiches of yours! I’m just about close to empty here. I wont be able to welcome the guests properly if you took any longer you know!”

“Ehehe. Sorry father. Here you go. Don’t eat it in one go! Chew slowly.” Sea giggled cutely as she handed some sandwiches to the blonde bishounen she called ‘father’. Ice was a little taken aback by that sudden info.

“___Father? You’re telling me he’s the father?! But he’s a bishoune… Eh, wait a minute. I keep forgetting this is an anime world. This is a common trope… Yep, nothing strange here…”

While Ice was having his internal otaku monolougue, the blonde bishounen suddenly approached and stared intently at him while releasing massive amounts of ‘pressure’.

Ice felt like a frog suddenly cornered by a snake! He was frozen stiff and truly felt he was close to passing out from all the pressure! What intense [2]Haki!!!

“Father! You’re making Ice uncomfortable! He’s just recovered you know!”

The bishounens expression suddenly changed from that of a predator to that of a doting parent and looked at her daughter with a warm smile. “… Sorry dear. Father was just sizing this gentleman up a bit. It’s not like my gaze is deadly you know. Ahahahahaha!”

“___No, that pressure was nothing to laugh at! I seriously stopped breathing for a moment! It’s deadly Father! It’s most certainly deadly!!!”

“Aaaaah…”

He suddenly turned to Ice again, changing his expression once more to a look that every [3]Yankee would be proud of. It seems he picked up Ices’ internal monologue via his [4]Father Counter and responded accordingly.

“Hiii!”

“Father!!!”

“…No, forgive me… I just felt like some impertinent brat dared to call me Father…”

“___The heck is up with that sixth sense?!…”

“…Sorry kid. The name’s Alphonse Seyramour. I’m the father of this lovely lot. Pleased to meet you.”

“Err… Pleased to meet you too sir. My name’s Ice. I can’t really tell you much about myself since I have amnesia so…”

“Amnesia huh?… You sure you got amnesia kid? Cause it sure doesn’t look like the case to me…”

“Father! What’s going on? That’s not like you!”

“…..Sorry dear. If you think he’s okay then I’ll trust you. Let’s get along kid.”

“Tha-thank you sir!”

Alphonse extended his hand out in a gesture of a handshake so Ice took it with some slight hesitation.

“Alright then. Why don’t we all go inside and introduce Ice to the rest of the villagers. We need to deliver these sandwiches too.”

Vee hurried the group along and,as Ice followed, Alphonse suddenly put his arm over Ices’ back and whispered something to him.

“I’m gonna trust Sea on this for now but if I see you make a move on any of my daughters I swear I’m gonna take your *beep and shove it up your *beep, hang you at the village entrance and feed you to the crows! Understand?!”

“Ye-yes siiiiir!”

Ice just managed a panicked reply while feeling like he was beside a really hungry tiger raring to tear him apart at the slightest chance.

“Good. I think we’ll just get along swimmingly kid! Ahahahahaha!”

It’s only been a short time since he came here but Ice already felt his life was in mortal peril.

***

Inside was a whirlwind of activity. Various people were going about doing different kinds of work. Some were putting on decorations all over the interior (mostly colorful flowers of different kinds shaped into wreaths, bunched up and put on vases, and lined up on top of walls and wooden beams).

Some were busy cleaning the rooms and shining the walls and floors. They were also bringing in different food ingredients such as fish, meat and fresh vegetables to what could only be the kitchen; judging from the smell wafting over from inside.

At the center of all the activity was a woman, who could only be described as beautiful, taking the lead and directing all the work being done.

“Mom, we brought the sandwiches!”

“___Mom?….. Why am I not surprised…”

Ice widened his eyes a bit in mild surprise but realized that this much was standard considering the father and just shrugged it off. One could actually easily grasp the resemblance between her and the siblings; Sea being the one who resembles her mother the most.

“___Guess she’ll become quite the woman after a couple of years. I kinda get where the dad was coming from now…”

Seas mom made a cute, pouting expression, put both her hands on her hips and greeted her family back.

“Well it’s about time you got here. What took you so long anyway? Even I’m feeling a bit hungry now with things being this busy.”

“Ehehe. Sorry mother. I was just making sure Ice was okay and lost track of the time.”

“Ice? Oh is he that young man over there? The one Ein and the boys brought over?”

The lady looked at eyes with a curious expression and inquired.

“Yes. Ice, this is our mother, Romany Seyramour.”

“It’s nice to meet you ma’am. My name is Ice.”

“Yes, it’s nice to meet you too young man. If you don’t mind me asking though, why exactly were you lying passed out near the village entrance? An accident perhaps? Or, heavens, was it monsters?”

“Err… you see… about that…”

As Ice was troubled over how to respond (he still felt awkward with lying about his condition) Ein gave a timely leg up.

“Ice has amnesia mom! He says he can’t remember anything apart from his name.”

“Oh my! Really? It must quite be terrible. You’re not injured are you?”

“Thankfully, that doesn’t seem to be the case ma’am. It’s just… my memory…”

“I see. Well, at least you’re not hurt. You can just stay here in the village until your memory returns. Give it time dear. I’m sure everything will come back to you eventually.’

Mrs. Romany smiled gently and patted Ice on the shoulder.

“…Thank you for your kind offer ma’am.”

She laughed softly as she continued smiling at Ice. “You don’t have to be so formal with me dear. Romany would be fine.”

“Err… I’m sorry but that’s a bit…”

Ice was constantly feeling massive killing intent leaking out from behind him. He didn’t have to turn around to find out who was releasing it.

“Right then! Let’s get those sandwiches to the others. I’m sure everyone’s missed eating the food you make Sea. It even makes me a little jealous how much they adore you.” Mrs. Romany gestured for the group to enter the interior of the building (which apparently served as the main Inn on the village) and teased her daughter with a wry smile.

“Mother! It’s not like my cooking’s anything special.”

“No, I think the one you’re marrying in the future would be absolutely addicted to your food dear. You sure know how to get them. Right in the stomach! Is that what you’ve been learning in the capital?”

“Mother!”

“Alright, alright. My daughter sure is cute when she’s teased huh Ice.”

“Err… Yes. I think.”

Romany gave Ice a light teasing smile and Sea had her head down with her ears going bright red.

***

Everyone was going crazy over Seas sandwiches. It was like the “high school cafeteria lunch time rush” Ice kept seeing in various animes and mangas. Some were even crying tears of joy while eating.

“It’s the sandwich the young lady makes! I can die happy now!”

“You’re exaggerating Mr. Galen. No one would want that to happen to the villages number one handyman. And besides, you’re still young. You just turned forty five recently haven’t you?”

“No young lady. I’m saying this sandwich is to die for. Why can’t my wife’s cooking be this good? Is this the difference between the food made by a cute young lady and a woman past her prime?”

“I heard that you old fool! You’ll be eating nothing but wild grass if you keep that up!”

Boisterous laughter echoed from everyone present.

The one eating his sandwich with great relish while heaping praise on Sea was Mr. Galen Gilford, Maleenas senior capenter and handyman. His wife, Mrs. Elsa Gilford, was the head chef of the village inn so Mr. Galens banter was just good natured teasing.

Both of them have advanced Job Classes (Foreman and Chef de Cuisine) so they’re really good at doing their jobs.

Practically everybody in the village was involved in running their prided natural spring spa resort in some way. Even the children help out and quite a few apprentice themselves to some of the veteran staff. Not all of them have proper Classes but that doesn’t seem to be a big deal here.

Ice was introduced to all the people present at the site and most of them were very friendly and welcoming.

Some of the younger men (and a few of the girls) weren’t so keen in accepting him so readily. Apparently they were mostly members of the Seyramour Family Fan Club (SFFC), The Committee for the Appreciation and Preservation of Purity (TCAPP), the Eins Big Sisters Club, the Married Men are So Hot Club and MILFs Inc.(the latter three are little too direct in expressing their preferences in Ices’ humble opinion).

“___Ahaha… Another common trope. Somehow, this isn’t so funny when it’s actually happening to you huh…”

Some of the guys were already discreetly readying black robes and full face hoods with large eye holes. There was even a human sized stake…

“___No wait. This maybe as common as it gets but that’s still a bit overkill! Give me a break here! The anime world is dangerous! I’m sorry for always laughing at you [5]Akihisa! You got it rough man!”

Making a mental note never to walk into somewhere like a secluded corner alone while inside the village, Ice made a resigned shrug and prepared for the worst.

“You making yourself at home kid? Don’t worry about a thing! This village is like that. You’ll be part of the family in no time!”

Mr. Findor Alleron, the one running the village store, stated slapping Ices’ back with a little too much enthusiasm, almost making him double over and fall face first to the floor.

Apparently, he was also not a local and found his way here after being scammed by a fellow Merchant whom he really trusted as they’ve practically started out together after changing classes and joining the same trade guild.

Mr. Alphonse (who was actually the village head and the resorts chief administrator) welcomed him with open arms, and now, he’s making a living by manning the village store and selling both daily necessities for the rest of the villagers and souvenirs (like the patented Original Maleena Spring Water!) to the resorts patrons.

He really empathized with Ice because of their slightly similar circumstances and went out of his way to make him feel welcome. It touched him a bit (Just a bit though. No, really!…).

He did wonder why a lot of them referred to him as ‘kid’ though.

“___Does my current appearance really look so young? I can’t really tell. Anime characters ages are really hard to determine…”

In the end, Ice decided to just go with the flow since it honestly wasn’t all that inconvenient for him. Besides, becoming young again should normally be a good thing right?

***

Ice really liked the atmosphere of Maleena. Everyone was bright and friendly and their good cheer was both magnetic and infectious. It strongly reminded him of his home towns local [6]fiesta celebrations.

So much so that he decided to settle down a little and put off his goal of information gathering at a later time as he wanted to soak himself in the festive air just a bit more. It was really nostalgic.

After everybody finished their meals, Mrs. Romany gave out some quick instructions.

“Alright everyone! Since we’ve already eaten and got our spirits and energies back, I want you lot to use that to completely finish the preparations before the guests start coming in! Hop to it then! We don’t have much time!”

“Yes madam!”

“Right away ma’am!”

“I will carry out thy decree empress!”

“Please take my soul mistress!!!”

“You know… it would just be perfect if Romany had a whip and wore high heels…”

Except for some rather questionable replies, everyone generally expressed their enthusiasm with renewed vigor and started to go back to their respective tasks.

“Um, ma’am… I kinda feel bad for being the only one who’s not working so could I help out a bit too?”

“Oh! Well we are kind of short on hands at the moment because Mr. Halter’s having hemorrhoids again but… Are you sure you an handle it Ice? You’re not pushing yourself are you?”

“No ma’am. I feel perfectly fine. I can handle it.”

“Alright then. Go help out on cleaning the indoor bath. Ein is assigned there too. You can join up with him.”

“Thank you ma’am. Right away!”

“Well aren’t you the eager beaver *giggle. Get to it then.”

“Yes ma’am!”

Imitating a military salute, Ice went to find Ein and both of them proceeded to the indoor bath area.

***

“Is everybody here?”

“Yes Comrade ‘E’. Comrade ‘Z’ and Comrade ‘H’ couldn’t come because of extenuating circumstances but most of the others are present and accounted for.”

“Mm… It can’t be helped. Let us begin then. But first I shall introduce you to our newest recruit; Comrade ‘I’. Say hello ‘I’.”

“Err… hello all…”

‘I’ greeted the other members with a slightly twitching smile. They welcomed him readily and patted his shoulders in affirmation.

“Welcome Comrade. Glad to have you within our ranks.”

Somehow, after arriving at the indoor bath, Ice was suddenly dragged into a secret society(?) meeting!

“Comrades! The time has finally come! We have been accosted by many failures and heartbreaks. But this time… this time surely, the Goddess of Victory shall smile upon us.

We have been training and planning relentlessly for this moment! And now is the time to put it all to the test. We have the latest tools, the greatest of allies and the heart to see it through.

For our fathers and our forefathers who came before them! Today we shall finally gaze upon paradise!!!”

“___I think I already know where this is going…” Ice thought as he had an incredibly strong hunch as to where the direction of this meeting was heading.

“Comrade F! Are the ‘tools’ prepared’?”

“Yes comrade. They’re good and ready.”

“Comrade G! Is the secret infiltration point secure?”

“It’s just perfect! No one’ll suspect a thing.”

“Alright. We commence the operation tonight. Our target is Lady Melva Hollcroft and her retinue – a member of the prestigious Hollcroft family; the rumored number one beauty in Ricksvale (arguably the world) and her bevy of beautiful body guards.

They will be arriving at exactly 1500 hours later today and will be scheduled to use the VIP spring bath by 1900. I want all of us assembled at point Alpha at exactly 1800 hours for final checks.

Make sure not to take any actions that stand out until that time and make doubly sure no one notices or tails you when you depart. Finish all important tasks assigned as fast as possible and ready your excuses for turning in or taking breaks early.

It will be suspicious to have a lot of people suddenly disappear so follow the ‘randomized’ schedule we’ve discussed during our previous meet. I will be in charge of fully briefing Comrade ‘I’ on the exact details of the plan.

Is everything clear?!”

“Sir, yes sir!”

“Good. Dismissed!”

“___As I thought… This really is…” Ice mentally facepalmed and wondered just how he was roped into this silly mess.

And so begins preparations for the obligatory ‘attempted peeking on beautiful women taking a bath in a hot spring’ scene.

***

When evening came, a group of rowdy young men (and some who were young at heart) finally gathered at an unassuming spot a couple meters behind the VIP bath.

“Do you hear that men? That is the sound of goddesses frolicking in paradise! Do you feel your passion rising? Can you feel your hearts throbbing?”

“Sir, I’m not so sure about ‘passion’ and ‘heart’ but something is definitely rising and throbbing…”

“Too much info comrade. Anyway, make sure everything is good to go. We will commence the operation soon.”

“Sir, yes sir!”

Ein was busy motivating the other guys with his impassioned remarks as the main organizer and leader of the group. And he was damn good at it too.

“___What the heck is with this kid? The power of adolescence?”

Ice was impressed despite himself. Although he wasn’t really sure if he really should be impressed about this kind of thing.

Mr. Findor (Comrade ‘F’) then arrived after a short while along with the anticipated ‘tools’ and lined them up on the ground. The rest of they guys faces lit up in glee.

“Here are the ‘Shared Vision’, ‘Memory Extraction’ and ‘Memory Transfer’ scrolls you ordered.”

Shared Vision allows people to ‘share’ what each individual was seeing with each other. It was limited to two people so concessions have been made and each squad leader (five all in all) assigned one of his most trusted subordinates to act as ‘secondary sight’ while they themselves acted as ‘primary’.

Memory Extraction and Memory Transfer scrolls did exactly what their names indicated and allowed the extraction and transfer of a particular memory. This will be what allows the rest of the group to view the memories of those who successfully infiltrate the bath, and thus, satisfy those who were unfortunate enough not to make it.

The plan relied heavily on human wave tactics as they’ve already experienced countless failures and thus decided to use strength of numbers to overcome the overwhelming odds.

These scrolls all sounded like they’d break an individuals right to privacy and Ice was later told that they are actually only used by the military for various covert operations (official or otherwise) or to interrogate spies. As for how Mr. Findor exactly got a hold of them; Ice was told his sources were ‘classified’.

“___Just how crazy dedicated are these guys to the pursuit of eroticism?! They even got some of the adults participating. Geez…”

As Ice was busy having another mental facepalm, Ein gestured for the group to be at a ready.

“Alright men. This is it! This will be a day of vindication! This will be a day of celebration! What is beyond those walls? Paradise! Go on! Take it, it’s yours!!!”

Uttering some lines vaguely resembling one from a Hollywood movie, Ein ordered the start of the operation.

And a mad dash for the VIP bath walls commenced.

***

Not long after the start of the operation, casualties already appeared.

“Guwaaaah!!!! What the…. A whirlwind is… aaaaaah!!!……..”

“Comrade!!! Dammit all! Do not falter! Forward! Forwar….. Gaaaaaah!!!”

“Nichols! Damn. Mom really went all out! Those are elemental mines!”

“Elemental mines?”

Ice, who found himself just going with the flow, was running beside Ein; feeling really regretful he didn’t opt out of this crazy stunt when he had the chance.

“Yep. These are mines infused by a Mages primary spells. They’re used in military operations. Although these seem like they’ve been specially tuned to be non-lethal.”

Ice then saw a guy being flashily blown up by a fire explosion.

“You call that non-lethal?!!!”

“Yeah. You’ll be hurt pretty bad though. A few broken bones. Anything from a week to a full month for recovery. Like I said, non-lethal. It ain’t so bad as last years.”

“___What the hell happened last year?!!! This isn’t good. At this rate I’ll be suffering the same fate as the guys from [7]Fumoffu! Come to think of it, I may look like an anime character now but I don’t really know if I can take as much punishment as those guys take on an episodic basis! If I get hit, there’s no guarantee I won’t actually die!!!”

As Ice was busy trying to avert his own personal life crisis, another danger shot out from within the shadows of the trees.

“Eh… Arrrrg!…”

Ein immediately went on guard after seeing some of their companions fall after being hit by small wooden bolts. “They prepared Paralysis Bolts too! Careful of the surrounding trees Ice! If they hit you, you’ll be out for days if they don’t decide to use Clear Status or Paralysis Salves on you. I did have Mr. Findor prepare some salves just in case but it’s better not to get hit after all.”

“You don’t have to tell me that! Waaaah!”

Ice was barely avoiding the small arrows shooting out from the forest by the skin of his teeth. He had to thank his experience playing badminton for honing his kinetic vision enough to just barely avoid the bolts. He still looked really desperate though.

“Don’t you have anything to ensure we got to the goal safely?! Didn’t you plan this for months? Like wooden shields and armor or something? Mr. Galen could’ve built those with no trouble right?”

“You know what? That might’ve just worked! I’m glad my eyes didn’t deceive me Comrade ‘I’!”

“NOW’S NOT THE TIME TO BE IMPRESSED!!!”

“Now, now. I was just honestly praising your mental acuity comrade. No need to shout.”

“I’M SAYING THIS ISN’T THE TIME TO DO THAAAAT!!!”

Ice was getting fed up by the absurdity of it all and was close to completely losing his cool. Then, an idea struck him.

“Wait, I know! Skills! Don’t some of you have Job Classes? Is there anyone whose Skills can be used? Like an Agility buff or something?”

Ein made a slightly embarrassed face and answered while scratching the back of his head.

“Most of the village guards focused on Active Skills like Power Blow so I don’t really think they have something like that in their Skill Tree. And the others are non-combat related Classes like Mr. Galens ‘Foreman’ or Mr. Findors ‘Store Manager’ classes. And also, I’m a Monk so…”

“MONK! You mean the martial arts type monk right?! You must have something!…”

Ice didn’t really have the leeway to do a straight man retort about exactly how a pre-teener like Ein achieved the Monk Class (which was actually an Intermediate Class you only gain at Level 50 from what he remembered from Seas lecture) and so he let it pass, but made a mental note on asking Ein about it later.

“Err… no, not exactly. I didn’t invest in Agility at all hehe. There’s also no way I have an Agility buff.”

“The Acolyte Class had one right?! An Agility buff I mean. You’re not telling me you didn’t bother to unlock it!”

“Err… yeah. Never did. Sorry.”

“WHAT THE HECK DID YOU INVEST ON THEN?!” Ice made an incredulous expression and asked with a shout.

“Isn’t that obvious! When you say Monk, you think ‘martial arts’. Martial arts is basically just going all out and socking your opponents to submission. If you really want to pound em down to the ground you’d have to have power. So I invested almost all my points on Strength and powerful Active Skills like Compressed Chi Shot and Raging Blows! Pretty cool right?”

After his bold declaration, Ein flashed a glittering smile and gave a thumbs up.

“___No! That’s just far too unbalanced! You’re like the very definition of a glass cannon!!!”

*On a side note, you gain APs (Ability Points) and SPs (Stat Points) each level up. APs are used to unlock the various skills of a particular Job Class. The APs one can gain are limited so you really need to plan ahead and think of what skills will synergize with your individual style the most and unlock those.

The skills that are unlocked level up separately by repeated use. And sometimes, if you max one out, other skills will appear in the skill tree for you to unlock.

SPs are used to increase you basic parameters like Agility and Strength. Like APs, the maximum SP gained per person is fixed (but some unconfirmed reports say that the maximum ceiling can vary from person to person). These need to be allocated carefully. A build that doesn’t mesh well with one’s class or skills would have a really hard time to say the least.

“…I didn’t expect you to be such a power idiot…”

“What’s wrong with being a power idiot?! Besides, there’s something much more important than stats when it comes down to it!”

“And what’s that?…”

“GUTS!!!”

Ein answered without hesitation, made a fist pump and flashed on of his glittering smiles again.

“___Damn you anime/manga/LN logic!!!…”

As Ice was fighting to prevent an aneurysm while desperately dodging magic explosions and paralyzing darts, Ein suddenly cried out strongly, warning the others.

“Alright! It’s the main event guys! Let’s give it our all!”

“Yeah!!!”

The others who survived (not that many) raised a cry in response, despite their injuries.

“Main event?! You mean there’s more?!!”

“It’s the greatest obstacle to our goal! Brace yourself Ice! Here it comes!”

*THUD *THUD

The sound of heavy foot steps approached. A large shadow appeared from above the tree line and headed straight for them.

“Here it is! Maleenas private Wood Golem!!!”

“GOOOOOOLEEEEEMMM!!!!!”

Ice screamed in panic.

***

The Wood Golem proceeded to make short work of the remaining men. Ice was getting paler and paler (than he already is) by the second while Ein was grinning wildly while pump-fisting.

“C’mon ya big lump of lumber! Come at me!”

He actively taunted the monster and motioned for it to hurry up and attack.

“No wait! Wasn’t the plan to avoid all obstacles? Shouldn’t we be running away from that thing?!”

“The heck are you talking about? This was always the plan. We run like heck, hope for the best, and I dispatch this lunkhead to open the path.”

“WHAT KIND OF PLAN IS THAAAAAT?!!!”

“No worries man! I’ll be done in a bit. Seeiyaah!!!”

Ein suddenly took off and ran straight for the golem.

Ice was taken by surprise by Eins sudden action and only had a blank expression on his face for a moment before reacting in panic.

“___You know… for someone who didn’t invest in Agility, he sure looks fast… nothat’snotit!!! He’s heading straight for disaster!!!”

But, contrary to Ices’ expectations, Ein was skillfully dodging the golems blows by a hairs breadth, and getting in some hits himself.

“What’s wrong? That the best you can do? You’re too slow moron!”

Ein was running circles around the golem and methodically chipping away at its HP. He wasn’t exactly all that fast, but it seemed like he could predict all the golems actions and acted accordingly, allowing him to dodge all of the golems blows.

“Teiyaaah! Seeeiyaaah! Toryaaaah!!!”

Ein was unleashing a virtual storm of punches and kicks mixed up with some powerful offensive skills.

*Skills placed on a *hotkey menu can be used even without saying its name out loud as the user just had to focus on executing a particular skill in his or her head and it will automatically commence.

There are exceptions though; like the advanced spells used by magic classes which required a particular chant. They’d have to learn a particular skill (Unincanted Spellcasting) to execute a spell without the chant and it’s requirements were steep as it’s one of those skills you have to unlock via a (particularly difficult) quest. People who attained this skill are considered to be the creme de la creme between magic classes and are few and far between.

Ein eventually brought down the golems HP in half and it entered the ‘Enraged’ status. Some Boss and Mini-boss class monsters had this particular trait which sacrificed their defense for, sometimes, overwhelming attack or access to extra powerful skills. Ein braced himself and got into a ready position; seemingly wanting to end the fight too.

“Alright lunkhead! Let’s finish this!”

“HUUUUUURRRR…. (Bring it on, you little mite. I’m gonna squash you flat! This time for sure I’m gonna get the mistress to praise me!)”

The golem, in turn, let out a menacing roar.

The air was tense. Both Ein and the golem were un-moving. A small impetus could spur either into action. Ice audibly gulped, affected by the atmosphere.

And then…

“HAAAAAAAAH!!! (I’M GOING TO SMASH YOU TO PIECES YOU OVERGROWN LUMP OF FIREWOOD! @$%*%$^%*%*!)”

“HRRRRUUUUUUAAAAA!!! (#@@$%$##%^#%^#$%#%#%#%!)”

Both unleashed their respective attacks almost simultaneously, mentally uttering profane obscenities all the while (there seemed to be quite a history between the two).

Ein unleashed his most powerful skill, Raging Spirit Fist [Lvl. 5] and the golem countered with its exclusive skill Rock Hard Wooden Strike [Lvl. 6].

*Tamed and construct monsters, such as the Wood Golem, were also able to learn and level up skills. The skills were either directly managed by their masters or are unlocked and equipped automatically. Generally, the rarer and/or more powerful the tamed or created monster, the greater the freedom when it comes to managing their parameters. Thus, monsters judged to have great potential were highly coveted.

It seemed that because of the longer reach, Wood Golems attack would hit Ein first. But Ein waited until the last second and barely dodged the downward straight, seizing the opening to deliver a powerful, chi filled uppercut directly to the golems gut(?) and instantly bringing down its HP to zero.

*The Wood Golem is a construct monster contracted to Mrs. Romany Seyramour, so even if its HP hits zero, it won’t die. As long as the master has sufficient mana and is in good health, the construct monster will respawn after a few minutes of cool down time. In Golems case, five minutes.

“UUUUURRR….. (Dammit brat, you’ve gotten good…)”

“Heh, you’re not half bad yourself…”

***

Both Ein and the golem were lying down on the ground limply. Ice rushed to Eins side to check his condition.

“Hey, are you okay? You didn’t get hit too did you?”

“No, I was able to dodge just fine. It’s just that Raging Spirit Fist, in addition to draining a massive amount of MP, also paralyzes the user. You can’t cure it with a Salve and it lasts for a full 3 minutes. Even then, I’m utterly spent so I’m guessing I won’t be able to move around much even if I recover from paralysis…”

“That was extremely reckless then! What good did defeating this thing do if you can’t fulfill your goal?!”

“Heh, you don’t get it yet? Why’d you think I let you join us and stuck close to you during the operation? You don’t have a Class yourself and were pretty much useless all throughout.”

“Then WHY?!”

“…..It’s your welcoming party Ice, your initiation. You’re now officially part of Maleena village and of the Society for Cultivating a Healthy Interest In the Opposite Sex, more popularly known as the Ecchi Society…

Now go! Fulfill our greatest desire! It looks like Mom has set up a barrier that renders any scouting spell or scroll useless so the Shared Sight scroll is no longer an option.

Luckily, the memory scrolls do not need to be activated on site to take effect. We can just wait until this commotion dies down to share your memories of paradise with everyone who sacrificed themselves for glory today… “

Ice glances back to the others. Pretty much everyone apart from him has already been knocked out.

“Comrade…”

Ice, getting carried away by the atmosphere clenches his fist in frustration and new found determination.

“Alright… I’ll fulfill everyone’s dreams for you. I’ll do it!”

“Good. Comrade G… The secret infiltration point…”

“Third plank from the left… Push it forward… Hidden door I made…… Password is… Dreams of Youth…… Ugh…”

“Comrade G!… He’s out… It’s all up to you Ice…”

“…I’m going…”

As Ice turned away and started to walk towards the left side of the wooden wall, Ein looked on with eyes filled with emotion.

“With this… Father… Our dream…”

And he surrendered to exhaustion and fell into a deep sleep.

***

“Okay! Third plank from the left… found it.”

After Ice used the password, a gap appeared on the wall and spread out to form a small secret door; just enough to let a person through. Ice hurriedly went inside and was immediately accosted with a huge amount of steam; clouding his vision.

Ice hesitated a bit after calming down somewhat thanks to the steam.

“___Wait… Why am I going along with all this crazy nonsense?! It hasn’t been a day since I came to this world and I’m already in the process of becoming a certified sexual offender!!! What the heck came over me?! Aren’t protagonists or two-bit side characters usually the ones who get caught up in this kind of stuff?! Which one am I anyway?…”

After a bit of pointless monologue while trying to wrestle with his inner conscience, Ice eventually decided to bite the proverbial bullet and try to stay out of sight while looking for an opportunity to get out of the steamy danger zone he was currently in – preferably in one piece.

That and, maybe, get a glimpse of some naked beauties while he’s at it. He’s already gone this far so why not right?

He proceeded to place himself behind some large rocks lining a part of the wall that offered a wide enough vantage point of the bath area while giving him enough leeway to immediately jump towards the thick clump of bushes if anyone got too close for comfort and forced him to abandon his current position.

Satisfied with this arrangement, Ice proceeded to focus his gaze toward the central area of the VIP bath (which was luxurious enough to deserve the term VIP) as the steam was gradually clearing up.

“___Hookay then… Let’s see if this place really deserves to be called ‘paradise’ shall we…”

He was so focused (eyes bloodshot, nostrils flaring up); he failed to notice that someone was already directly behind him.

“Well now, what do we have here? What exactly are you doing, hiding behind these rocks young man?”

“Waaah!”

A soft, serene voice gently inquired from behind him; startling Ice and making him fall butt-first on the hard granite tiled floor.

“Oh dear, are you alright young man? I seem to have given you quite the fright.”

Bell like laughter echoed through Ices’ ears and, as he slowly turned his gaze up towards the owner of the voice, he was confronted by THE most gorgeous woman he ever laid eyes on so far.

She had long, straight, jet black hair that slightly shimmered because of the water droplets sticking to it from coming right out of the bath. It was like the night sky – glittering magnificently; adorned by a multitude shining of stars.

Her figure could only be described as “divine”; like an extremely well crafted piece created by a true master.

Her well featured face was mesmerizing. So much so that Ice felt he could have stared at her all night and never get tired of it.

Her every gesture carried such an aura of grace and beauty that they made Ices’ heart go on overdrive.

Add all this to the fact that she was currently standing in front of him in all of her naked majesty; without even a small towel covering her pristine white skin.

So it was pretty much OHKO for Ices’ “brain.exe”. He was tethering on the brink of falling to the “point of no return”.

“Hehee. What’s wrong young man? Did I really surprise you that much?”

“Yes ma’am!… I mean, no ma’am!… No that’s not it!…… Uuuuuh….”

Ice was totally dumbstruck. He didn’t even think it was possible for him to be this captivated by a woman. By a 2D anime character looking woman no less.

Ice was an otaku but he really didn’t really consider himself too far gone that he could only see 2D women as cute or beautiful. Was coming to this world the turning point? Or did he always have this tendency and just didn’t acknowledge it?

No, there was “something” with this woman that transcended all concepts of beauty. He had this nagging feeling that even if she was turned into a “real” 3D woman, he would’ve still been totally captivated by her.

She laughed softly once more and smiled enchantingly at him. “Look, I’m sure you’re having the time of your life right now but I think you better go. It seems they’re coming back”

Ice heard the cheerful voices of several girls just behind the wooden sliding door.

“You better get out of here young man. Those girls may look nice but they have particularly nasty tempers. Worst case, they might decide to cut “it” off if they catch you in here.”

Ice gulped audibly, realizing the implied meaning of ‘It’.

“You know… your most treasured sword. Your “Men’s Club Member”. Your—”

“That’s quite enough, thank you!!!” Ice stopped her from going any further in panic. He wasn’t quite sure why, but it greatly bothered him to hear such questionable euphemisms from the mouth of this bewitching beauty.

“Go on. Here, before they come in.”

The woman gestured towards the opening on the wall and hurried him along.

Ice shuddered at the thought of having his “manhood” compromised and immediately went for the secret door to get out.

As he got on all fours and crawled towards the opening, the woman suddenly hugged him from behind and, once again, sent his senses flying.

As he was acting all flustered, the woman whispered lightly into his ear.

“Young man… If you want to find out exactly what your purpose for being sent into this world is, hurry and come to the ‘capital’…”

“Eh?!…”

And then, he was suddenly shoved out. For some reason, it felt really familiar.

***

“Hey wait! What exactly did you mean by that?!”

Ice tumbled down the slope after unceremoniously being shoved out and was again trying to get in to no avail. The secret door was sealed shut and wouldn’t open even with the password.

“You were the one who sent me here right?! What for?! Why me?! Hey!”

While he was busy pounding the wall and shouting frantically, a low rumbling roar emanated from behind him.

Slowly turning around, Ice found himself facing the Wood Golem again.

“Uh… hi there buddy. Glad you’re already up and about he he…”

“Uuuurrr (Hello there squirt. I’m sure you already have an idea about what’s coming…)

“Uh… time for bed?…”

“Uuuurrr (Exactly. Lights out squirt. Sweet dreams.)

“Oh damn…”

And after a quick gigantic forehead flick, Ice was sent to dreamland just like the others.

***

-Interlude-

“Anomaly detected on AD#105-2 Zeta. Possible breach and successful ‘unit’ injection. Awaiting instructions.”

“Initiate countermeasures. Execute contingency protocol Z-10. Continue to monitor situation indefinitely.”

“Acknowledged. Initiating countermeasure procedures. Switching to active monitoring mode.”

“Ensure no deviation occurs. Continue giving periodic reports on the situation and await further instructions.”

“Acknowledged.”

***

“Seems they’ve already noticed. Your poking around just made it more obvious.” The owner of the voice tried for it not to show, but there was a hint of something more than casual irritation in ‘his’ remark.

“It’s fine. It’s not like this will affect the plan much. We’ve already anticipated this after all.” The other presence just dismissed it as trivial and continued to smile contentedly after ‘her’ little excursion out of curiosity.

“What you did was still pointless…”

“Aww, are you jealous? That’s so cute of you! Don’t worry so much. I was just checking him out a bit. My heart still belongs to you.”

‘She’ laughed teasingly after realizing why ‘he’ was acting up and moved closer to reassure ‘him’.

“Hmph!”

“Ahaha. Anyway, things are bound to get more interesting soon. Let’s just enjoy this to the fullest.

This harmonious yet chaotic symphony…”

-Maleena Vilage End-

*Note

[1]Bishounen – is a Japanese term literally meaning “beautiful youth (boy)” and describes an aesthetic that can be found in disparate areas in East Asia: a young man whose beauty (and sexual appeal) transcends the boundary of gender or sexual orientation. It has always shown the strongest manifestation in Japanese pop culture.

[2]Haki – a term used for a powerful ability that is used in the Shounen Jump manga-turned-hit anime One Piece. Has several types that are defined by different abilities – one of which is to overpower the will of others by using Haki emanated from oneself. The weak willed would pass out one after the other; unable to take the pressure.

[3]Yankee – In Japan, this term is used to refer to a type of delinquent youth. That is also the meaning subscribed by this work.

[4]A parody of the Saiyan gadget Geiger Counter which is used to measure an individual’s power in Dragon Ball Z.

[5]Akihisa – refers to Akihisa Yoshii, the unfortunate main lead of the comedy LN/anime/manga series Baka to Testo to Shokanju (Baka and Test) who always seems to find himself

deep in trouble and/or taking a severe beating from other characters from the series – including some heroines.

[6]Fiesta – A Spanish word meaning “festival” or “party”. The Filipinos use it with pretty much the same meaning.

[7]Fumoffu! – refers to the companion series to Full Metal Panic that focuses heavily on mostly comedic self-contained episodes or mini-arcs. “Fumoffu” is the sound made by Bonta-kun, the series’ fictional mascot, which resembles a human-sized, yellow teddy-bear. In this particular work, Ice is referring to the events of episode 9 (A Goddess Comes to Japan Part 2: The Hot Spring) which features the male cast frantically trying to peek at the girls bath as they vacation in a hot spring inn, encountering many obstacles along the way – a situation parallel to what Ice went through in this chapter.