My duel with Hayden is over. I’ve sent my message to all those at the scene, and I’m sure it will spread. Most likely, this Jaron – apologies, senior apprentice-brother Jaron – will take notice of me. If he is like what I think he is, then he’ll pretend not to be angered, and send some of his other cronies to suppress me. However, he might be one with a bad temper, and openly try and beat me down. Of course, there’s no way he can force me to agree to a duel, but if he demands a spar under the guise of ‘teaching the younger disciples’, then it would be a great loss of face. Was this Earth, I probably wouldn’t have minded, saying something along the lines of ‘you’re too strong, I’ll just be beat’. However, this is the world of cultivation. Those who make themselves known as the weak are crushed underfoot. Whether or not I am weak is up for me to decide, but I will be targeted if I present myself as weak. So, for my continued safety and cultivation time, I will present myself as dominant and peerless in my Realm.

But I don’t intent to stop there. Now that I’m back, I enter secluded meditation in an attempt to break through into Vanquish Tribulations Realm. Most of entering this Realm is an accumulation of qi, but the other part is call the Heavens and be given the Tribulation of Mortals. It’s a textbook description, but it’s the textbook for a reason, eh? I’m sorry, I’ll stop trying to be funny. The only problem that I will really encounter is the blocking of my memory. With this, I may have a practically new personality. Most of the time, this doesn’t happen. However, if a cultivator’s mind – which is really the soul – is weak, then their memory will get blocked more than the average cultivator’s mind. With my Mental Force at the grand Free Soul, I’m sure to have most of my memory.

Ah! I never explained the sub-realms of Mental Force, did I? Sorry! So, from weakest to strongest, basic, average, spirited, superior, greater, grand, central, great circle, then pure. For some reason, great circle is used differently than the others. While the others are used like ‘grand Free Soul’ and ‘basic Free Soul’, great circle is ‘great circle of Free Soul’. I don’t understand it! It’s like the author just used other novels for words and phrases that sounded cool and copied them without caring about consistency!

(A/N: That’s cause I did! )

Anyway, time to call the Heavens. I circulate my qi, getting it warmed up for the calling. Now that my qi is boiling, I reach out for the laws that exist everywhere on a planet. With my cultivation this weak, I can’t actually sense them normally, but when a cultivator reaches Qi Spiritualization, they can faintly sense the laws of their world. Just how like you can faintly sense a creepy person staring at you from behind, but on a more… privacy-invasive way. My qi finally reaches the laws, and the Mortal Tribulation descends. Though I say descend, it’s more of the laws invading my body and messing with my mind/soul.

… Did it just touch my soul’s dick?

Aah… Where am I? This is… a palace? A beautifully ornate palace, with gold seeming to be the main building material. Why the hell would they build a palace with pure gold? That’s super wasteful. Out of the corner of my vision, I notice a women dressed in expensive clothes walking up to me. I’m sitting on a throne, wearing… wait, these don’t match at all! It’s neither the clothes I was wearing, or something that fits in! Why the fuck am I wearing robes that seem to have come out of a xianxia novel?! Why the fuck am I here in the first place?!

“My lord, is there something wrong?” The lady asks.

“Yes, and it’s very serious.” I say.

If I’m some sort of lord here, might as well act like it. The lady looks shocked, but quickly fixes her expression. She bows deeply, and begins to speak once more.

“My lord, if there is something I can do, simply ask of me, and the 4 Heavenly Queens will do as you say.” The lady says.

“No, it cannot be solved by outside force. It is a problem only I can solve.” I tell her, managing to keep my voice calm.

There’s actually a 4 Heavenly Kings?! Just what I have I done to land up in this fantasy world with beautiful and powerful women at my command?! Just who am I now?!

“Then, my lord, I’m sure use of your treasury would aid you greatly.” The lady motions towards a massive pile of gold.

“No, even all the money and precious materials in the world would be able to solve this issue.” I deny her.

This is an absolutely massive amount of money! You fucking scrooge, just how much money do you have?! Dear lord! Though this mountain of gold certainly sends my mind spinning, I really don’t want it. Well, I do want it, but if I’d have to give up, say, my game console for this, I’d say no. I mean, it’s money beyond my imagination, but I simply don’t care about this mass of money. I’d like it, but there’s no need to give up all my data just for this much. I know I could download it back, but I never earned this money. I got it for free, and that is sketchy as hell.

As I think that, the scene in front of me morphs, and I’m suddenly in a different place. I’m sorry, what? This… this is a bedchamber…? Those are… yes, they are extremely beautiful women that are stark naked. Oh my. However, you don’t arouse me! Why, because fuck you, that’s why! Eh? Why are they climbing in my bed? Why am I naked? I can’t move! I can’t fucking move!

{Scene has been deleted to keep this novel, “Try Reincarnation, They Said. It Would Be Fun, They Said.” family friendly. As for all of those perverts who were looking forward to a sex scene, you all have other things to play with, like those erotic magazines you keep under your nightstand, behind the bookshelf, in your messy-ass closet and that folder called ‘Research’ on your desktop. So stop highlighting the previous paragraph and trying to copy and paste this into that text document you opened in ‘Research’ and get a grip. With thoughts like those, you’ll never get a girlfriend. Even if you didn’t have those thoughts, with a face like that, not even your mother would love you. Just by thinking about you and a member of the opposite sex makes me want to puke. And if you’re so desperate for pleasure, close this tab, and switching over to private browsing. Don’t get my pure, clean, and non-sexual novel tainted by your nightly ventures, you horny scum.} - A humorous message from both the System and the Author. Bill helped as well.

Dear lord… There were so many… I’m so fucking tired of this shit… I don’t want you! I never wanted you! I don’t want your chastity! I don’t want your rights as a human being! I want your cat ears, but not it a sexual way! Fuck off! All of you!

The bed and women disappear, and so does my fatigue. And anything else from there. By now, I understand what’s going on. This seems to be one of those mental tribulations from Chinese fantasy. I don’t know why exactly I’m here, but I’m here. Thinking logically, I must’ve already died and been reincarnated into a fantasy world where things like this are possible. It’s also possible my soul is being put through weird things for someone else’s pleasure. Of course, this could also be part of the afterlife, but I doubt it. I can’t make any definite conclusions because my memory is too clouded, but this is definitely some sort of trial. I think this “tribulation” involves the Seven Deadly Sins. So far, I’ve had lust and greed. What’s next?

The scene changes to me sitting on the couch in front of the TV, watching my favorite show. It’s my house. Nothing seems wrong. My stomach grumbles. I’m slightly hungry. Meh, I’ll get food after the show is over. No, wait! This is probably the trial of sloth, so if I wait, I’ll fail! Or it could be the trial of gluttony! Damn, which is it?! No… I’m not starving, so it should be the sloth trial. However, I wouldn’t really care about getting up and grabbing some chips, so it must be more. I look at the time on the cable box. It’s around the time I eat dinner. Dad isn’t home, so I might just have to cook dinner. Nothing lazy either!

Once the commercials begin, I get up and head to the kitchen. I look through the cabinets, searching for some ingredients for a dinner. Hmm… I have a lot of ideas, but I think I’ll go with an omelet, we have a lot of eggs after all. I reach out for the eggs, and the fridge in front of me disappears. Eh? Was that it? The sloth trial, over like that? Seriously? Are you kidding me? The fuck?

“...”

Well, okay. Where I am now is at the head of a table, many dishes laid out in front of me, ready for the taking. Gluttony, definitely. I simply eat enough to sustain me, and then excuse myself by saying I need to use the bathroom. The food was tasty, but I could tear myself away. As soon as I leave the table, the scene vanishes.

… Isn’t this “tribulation” too weak? I mean, I reverted to the me from Earth, so it must’ve been strong with the memory portion. Wait-! I could’ve purposefully done this to temper my mental strength! Most likely, if these trials are this easy, I might’ve put myself in a vulnerable state to reap more gains. However, I wouldn’t do this unless I have faith in myself.

… I’m touched, other me. No sarcasm, I really am touched…

I seem to be in a blank space, with nothing around me. I look around, but I can’t find anything. Suddenly, a sign appears in front of me. It’s something like what you would see for people apologizing for construction, complete with a person bowing and everything. I look at the words and read them aloud.

“We were unable to find a way to piss you off in any way that would be effective in at least a little way. Unfortunately, we do not have the ability to increase the difficulty of this tribulation. Thus, the Wrath portion of the Mortal Tribulation will be counted as complete and you will be moved onto the next portion. We apologize for the inconvenience. Signed, Natural Laws of Nephila.”

…

A-are you serious? I’m not quite sure how to feel about this… Should I be happy? Sad? Angry? I’m so confused…

The scene changed once more, turning into a scene of a busy metropolitan street. These people are all super strong, some are jumping over heavy traffic, while others are speeding by me at high speeds. Some are even jumping onto the tops of buildings. I turn around and see others playing video games in an arcade. Even though I say arcade, it’s full of game consoles instead of the stuff you would normally see in arcades. I watch them for a while and come to two conclusions.

One, THEY ARE FUCKING GOOOD!

Two, this is the envy portion.

Alright, I did envy these physically strong people and these people good at video games. However, I’ve long since come to the conclusion that the real me is way better than these fools. After all, the real me is a cultivator! Or something like that. But, I don’t envy them, with the power that the real me has. After all, I think cultivation is far better than physically strong legendary gamers. With that thought, the scene disappears, and is replaced by a dirty back alley.

Next is… pride? How is this pride? Should it be something like, ‘I’m proud to be an American’? Or is it something else? As I’m thinking, the scene disappears, and I’m faced with white space, along with swirling energies of different color. Far in front of me is a person, sitting in the lotus position. He’s handsome, and slightly childish looking. He’s wearing the same robes as me, the same glasses as well. Is he… the real me? If so, then I suppose I must… ‘go merge’ with him?

I thought so. After seeing the strength of the Mortal Tribulation, I was tempted to laugh. In all honesty, it was weak. Even if I had no Mental Force cultivation, with my personality, I could pass it easily. I say that because my personality is about 30% indifferent. Or, there aren’t too many things that I know that bothers me. However, I wasn’t expecting that Wrath portion to be like that. It was very funny. I didn’t have a camera, but if I did, I most certainly would’ve taken a picture.

With this, both my cultivation base and Mental Force have increased in power. I’m at the first level of Vanquish Tribulations, if I send out my qi to communicate with the laws once more, I’ll experience the Demonheart Tribulation. There’s no point in gathering qi in the Vanquish Tribulations Realm, it has no affect on your cultivation. Only after you’ve beaten the Lightning Tribulation, does your body actually require qi for a breakthrough, though you mostly get that through the lightning brought down by the Tribulation.

Oh, and my Mental Force went up to central Free Soul.