My fun really is ruined by many things in this world. Reality is one of them, and greedy pricks are another. My father was also a bastard that worked me to the bone because he was too drunk to care about anything other than money, I never had fun near him. Lack of friends are also a something that makes me feel depressed; but mainly when those conglomerates of popular kids move around in their groups that resemble cancer tumors near me. Power outages when I played video games, the one time I had terrible diarrhea, those times where I couldn’t find anything to entertain me, and those critics on RRL that constantly kick my motivation in the dick (A/N: I’m not speaking from personal experience here, everybody has been extremely helpful, if that’s the word. Just trying to make the man relatable, okay?). The world is extremely harsh, especially the human race.

Now, I could go on and on about how the human race is the worst, but anybody with any knowledge of history and some thinking about human history would know. Moving on, my fun is often ruined by the very existence of things that are ‘necessary’, such as food, shelter, clothing, water and education. That was based purely on the viewpoint of someone from America, so I can’t speak for others. Here, in Nephila, those necessities are different. Education is excluded, and food and water are unnecessary if you cultivate. So some necessities that block my fun are removed. However, that leaves me with shelter. As I’m traveling, there is no need to stay inside a building as I enjoy the scenery. However, I get tired and I need to sleep. Sleeping is safer in shelter, and I don’t particularly hate sleeping, so shelter is something like a… commensalism relationship from biology, with me being the unaffected one… or something like that.

So, all-in-all, the only thing that affect my fun is reality and my dad. I won’t ever meet my dad again, so that’s ruled out. That leaves only reality. Reality. Fucking reality… You know, I wanted to have some goddamn fun with this little cave, but it’s just a goddamn hide hole! A little fucking closet the main characters of horror games hide themselves in to mislead the monster! Fuck reality!

Reality: …

Argh, so pissed… Well, at least I got something good out of it. I look down at the ring. With my adventure ruined, I fiddle around with it a bit. Trying to find the special property of the ring, trying to activate the formation, none of it works. Turns out I’m at lot more useless at discovering things than I thought. Sighing, I put the ring in my pocket and return to the main cave area, only to find…

Actually, exactly what the hell did I find? In the time I was gone, it seems Rucia made friends with the local natives. Animals, animals everywhere. There’s squirrels, birds, rabbits, wolves, deer and a fucking BEAR. I know that it’s just a mortal bear, but still, the first bear I’ve ever seen face-to-face. First wolf as well, but they look like dogs, so I’m less shocked. Despite the hordes of animals looking at her like homeless people look at a 5-star hotel, Rucia is still cultivating without a care. So, animals like cultivators? Is it like an enlightened cultivator preaches the Dao and all living beings stop and listen? Guess it is something similar, otherwise the wolves and bears would’ve already gotten her with her poor danger sensing ability. I quickly walk over and tap her shoulder a few times.

“Rucia,” I whisper into her ear. “Wake up and get rid of your admirers.”

She doesn’t budge. Seriously?!

“Rucia,” I tell her in a normal voice. “Wake up and get rid of your potential bestiality crimes.”

Still doesn’t work?!

“RUCIA, I’M GOING TO RAPE YOU!” I yell into her ear.

“Please do!” Rucia reacts in a way I could’ve never imagine.

Error, server has crashed.

Attempting to reboot…

Loading, please wait… 0%

“...”

Loading, please wait… 29%

“Ardven…?”

“...”

Loading, please wait… 47%

“Uh… umm… What I just said, please forget about it! I-I didn’t mean it! I-i-it was a mistake, I-I don’t really want you to r-rape me...”

“...”

Loading, please wait… 65%

“A-Ardven…? Are you okay?”

“...”

Loading, please wait… 79%

“Umm, are you mad at me, perhaps?”

“...”

Loading, please wait… 99%

“Ardven?”

“Hm? Sorry, I was attempting to reboot the server and it took a while. What did you say earlier?”

“Server? Reboot?”

“Ah, don’t worry about it. What it means was that I was trying to understand why in the seven hells you said ‘please do’ when I said I was going to rape you.”

“T-That was a m-mistake, I-I swear!”

“Oh, alright.”

“H-huh?”

“Well, it obviously wasn’t on purpose, so I won’t be so confused about a simple misunderstanding when the truth is different.”

“O-oh...”

“I you’ll excuse me, I’ll start cultivating.”

“R-right… Am I forgetting something?”

“No, I don’t think so?”

Ending that conversation, I sit down and start cultivating. If you’re wondering why I reacted so violently earlier, it was because I was just so shocked at her answer that it took a moment for me to come back. Before shutting my eyes, I look around to see if any animals stayed behind after my shout. There were none save for a few squirrels and rabbits that lingered in the forest. Satisfied that I won’t be mobbed by animals, I start cultivating.

If you’re wondering how Rucia can cultivate with her special constitution, it’s because I brought along some cultivation liquid. There were a few other types I found, not just Elementary Refinement Liquid. She can use those or plain water imbued with qi to cultivate. However, if she can find a Clear Qi Lotus, then she should be able to get rid of the problem and cultivate normally. Thankfully, Clear Qi Lotuses exist on this planet, so I can get some.

Anyways, on to cult-

I hear a sound. I listen to the sound. I understand the sound. Rucia is doing the second cleaning of her body, also known the Deep Cleaning, I can tell from the sound. The sound speaks to me. It is mocking me. It is mocking me. Although my knowledge, talent and cultivation method are superior to Rucia in every way, she is faster than me. Why is she faster than me? So the system can answer the question, I quickly bind the ring and stop it’s interrupting qi flow.

{Interference with the system has been terminated by external forces. What is your question?}

System! I missed you, old friend!

{The length of time you were unable to access the system would not be considered to have given rise to the feeling of ‘missing someone’ according to the archives.}

… As sassy as ever, I see. Anyway, why is Rucia faster than me? She’s already done her Deep Cleansing, but why am I behind her?

{She has spent more time than you in cultivation, enough to surpass your level.}

… The answer was so simple…

Ah! One more thing. What rank artifact is this? I motion to the dark red MC Treasure in my hand. The analysis from the system will finally confirm if it is a real MC Treasure. I’m excited!

{This treasure has been confirmed as a top-tier God Treasure, one suitable for an Archaic God, the 24th level of common cultivation.}

…

Goddamn… it’s a real fucking MC Treasure…