It’s at times like these where I wish I often revert to the old me. The old me that just wants to curl up in a ball and sleep forever. Not die, just enjoy sleeping. I could dream about me being an OP protagonist in a world like this, cutting down those who dare to try to ‘pull down my face.’ I simply released my overpowering aura and a myriad of beings would bow at my feet. I was peerless above the heavens. Of course, that was only in my dreams, here is currently different.

Let’s talk frankly. The situations is, I’m screwed. Yep. I’m screwed. The danger in the Grove is most certainly real. So that stuff that would kill Sky Stepping cultivators -the dangers near the core region- would kill me, 100% death. Unless I used the console commands, but I’d like to not use my three time god mode for saving my worthless life from easily avoided situations. I mean, even a flea would have enough intelligence to avoid something like this, but guess what? I’m here now!

Oh, seems I’m going into self-degradation mode because I walked into a trap like this. Seems like I need to work on my self-esteem.

Me: C’mon me, you know humans make mistakes!

Me: Thanks me… But, aren’t I not human?

Me: Uh… Weeeeellllll, you used to be human, so that probably effects your decision making. AND! And! You have no personal experience in the cultivation world, so it makes sense!

Me: What about my ability to recognize clichés?

Me: Fuck it, just go run for your life and bring your waifu along.

Me: She isn’t my waifu!

*Ahem* What I meant to say was, there’s too many demonic beasts! What the fuck?! The strongest one is at Jinxin Realm, so I’m definitely screwed! I only just broke through to Beyond Mortal, what the hell am I supposed to do to these guys?! Even the weakest one is stronger than me in terms of cultivation! I say in terms of cultivation because I have my super cool Severance to watch my back. I say ‘watch my back’, but- OH FUCK!!!

(A\N: According to Google Translate, the Chinese characters 金心 (Jinxin) literally means ‘Golden Heart’, while the characters 金蛋 (Jindan) mean ‘Golden Egg’. As I am not a Chinese professional, I cannot say for certain if jindan actually means something more symbolic than just the literal translation. I decided to go for a more literal translation, just to try being original. For those of you wondering what the hell I’m talking about, I’m taking inspiration from wuxia/xianxia novels and changing what is often called a jindan to jinxin for this fiction.)

*Riiip*

A demon beast’s claws tears through my overcoat that I haven’t taken off since making it. My clothes! Ah, well, I’m glad I had these absorb qi to repair as well. Just need to put it in… Now that I think about it, that was a really bad design flaw wasn’t it? Should’ve made it naturally absorb natural qi instead… Well, too late now! Besides, if a treasure can gain a spiritual consciousness, then it can absorb qi by itself, as long it still remains conscious, that is. AH! Fucking beasts trying to kill me!

I dodge and weave through the onslaught of demon beasts, just barely managing due to my breakthrough and their stupidity. Though the demon beasts at Vanquish Tribulations, Foundation Building and Jinxin Realms are better than me in literally every physical aspect, I maneuver better than them due to my footwork. One of the three Jinxin demon beasts lunges at me, but sidestep and turn while bending backwards, just barely avoiding another attack. Using this opportunity, I bring my sword up, aiming to cut through the beast’s stomach. However, its too fast for me, and it passes by and my sword hits empty air.

I roll backwards, unable to stay on my feet after turning, sidestepping, and bending at the same time. I turn during the roll to dodge a Foundation Building demon beast. Unfortunately, I arrive in front of a Vanquish Tribulations demon beast. It has already raised it’s terrifying looking claw and is bringing it down. Huh, seems the difficulty is going down with each dodge. If I could dodge this guy, I would get a Beyond Mortal demon beast, then?

“Don’t fuck with meeeee!” I roar in angry.

Executing some practically impossible acrobatic ninjutsu, space-warping bullshit example of physics that I don’t understand how works, I manage to get away from that certain death strike. Well fuck me sideways and call me Carol, I just became a badass. Ah. Now is not the time! I get to my feet and observe my situation. I’m screwed. That is my situation. I don’t think I can escape, unless my Main Character Halo comes in and-

“… aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…!”

Is something getting closer?

“...AAAAAAAAAAAA…!”

Someone would probably be a better answer.

“…AAAAAAAAAAAA…!”

A girl? Another one for my harem? Is this my MC Halo helping out?

“...AAAAAAAAAAAA…!”

Oh, no, that’s a boy. A young one, maybe?

“…AAAAAAAHHHHH!!”

“OHSHITFUCK--!”

As the voice ends, something that seems to have come from outer space rockets in and fucks up the landscape. It sends me flying as well as the demon beasts that are trying to kill me. Woah! I’m flyin- GAH! Fucking trees! GUH! Fucking rocks! Ugh… Oof! Fucking ground! Oh wait… Ground is good. Stand… Stand… STAND THE FUCK UP!!

Motor functions: I’M TRYING!!!

Main: Go scold the MC Halo while you’re at it!

I stand up uneasily. My knees are weak and my arms are heavy. Due to my weakness, I lean up against the tree that I ricocheted off of. I stay there for a minute, unable to move. I can’t even think straight. My mind is all clouded and I feel like I’m slipping. Damn! Does getting shot off a tree really hurt that much? Really? It does that much?

{That assumption is correct. If you were a normal mortal were to be caught up in a shockwave of that magnitude, they would die if unlucky and come out crippled if lucky.}

Oh, I’m glad this world has cultivation. Wait! It’s because of cultivation that I’m in this situation in the first place! Goddammit!

“Hey!” A male voice called out from the mist. “You, fellow daoist over there! Are you okay?”

Huh? Does he mean me? “Do you mean me?” I called out to him.

“Yeah, are you alright?” The male voice seems to have come closer.

“I’m… alive! Don’t know if I’m alright though!”

“Good.” He’s gotten really close.

The dust caused by the impact of whatever the hell that was cleared, and I could see who had spoken. It was a young man just a bit older than me. He had blue hair and blue eyes, though one of them was closed. He’s wearing a white robe with black embroidery that probably has an important meaning. Seems to be a friendly guy, seeing as how he called out to see if I was okay. Though I think he probably could’ve checked me himself instead of calling out, but I don’t judge. I fact, I would thank him for not doing that. Ah? He’s at Mystic Soul Realm, a pretty important figure in this world. Initial Mystic Soul Realm. His mystic soul is still unstable, so he probably came here after breaking through to temper his mystic soul and increase his cultivation while stabilizing his mystic soul at the same time.

The reason I can tell? I asked the system while you weren’t paying attention. I’m not omnipotent, you can only read a person’s cultivation level when you’re stronger than them, or they reveal it to you. I’m only a Beyond Mortal cultivator, how could I read the cultivation of a Mystic Soul cultivator? I may possibly have an MC Halo, but there are limits to a xianxia MC Halo. Speaking of MC Halos, I wonder how you would classify them…?

“What is a Beyond Mortal cultivator like you doing in the Mysterious Soul Tempering Grove?” The Mystic Soul cultivator asked.

Oh god he calls it that too? “I’m looking for my friend, she disappeared when I turned away, and now I have no idea where she is. However, I think she might’ve gone in here by accident, she is a real airhead after all.”

Actually, using the extremely popular System Maps™, I can locate where she is, anywhere, anytime. However, do you think he’ll believe me? Eve if he does believe me, how can I be sure that he won’t try to exploit my ability to use the system? The thing called human nature can be defined by the words ‘seven deadly sins’, and cultivators are much more susceptible to giving into those desires. In fact, cultivators are the ones to exercise these traits even more than mortals, because mortals have a ruler to stop them from doing these things, and they have no personal power. Cultivators have power to move mountains with a wave of their hand and redirect rivers with a sneeze. Because one person obtained the power called ‘cultivation’, the rest of the world followed in their footsteps and gained power, causing even more people to crave power. A never-ending cycle of greed. Greed strong enough to kill friends and loved ones over. Cultivators aren’t feared because they have power, it’s because they are human that they are. Power, is a disaster. Especially in the hands of humans. The fact that I cultivate as well, means that I, too, am a part of this disaster. *Sigh* What a trend I decided to follow.

“Oh? Lost a friend? I’ll help you out, I can’t have Beyond Mortal cultivators here, that’d only get them killed. No reason to waste promising talent.” He says while laughing.

“Promising talent?” I’m genuinely confused.

“Huh? You’re so young and without a sect, yet you are already in Beyond Mortal Realm, that’s a great achievement!”

Oh yeah, these guy are really weak. “Thank you senior, I really cannot express my gratitude to you.”

“Hehe… No problem. Now, shall we find your friend?” He extended his hand to me and a flying sword appeared next to him.

“Many thanks senior.” I clasped my hands and bowed, a classic xianxia salute of respect.

I took his hand and got on his flying sword, which took off immediately. I was shaken a bit due to the sudden acceleration, but it stayed at a speed where I could adjust myself so as to not fall off. I looked at the Mystic Soul cultivator, and saw him looking at me with a bit of praise in his eyes. The way he looks at me… Is he gay? No, let’s not disrespect him, he saved me. For now, at least. Still though, there’s more than praise in his eyes…

Is it greed?

Greed: About a 90% chance.

Main: Huh? Why so sure?

Greed: I can recognize one of my nature easily. However, he is being hidden, so I can’t tell for certain if it is a fellow kinsman. But, it’s nature is very similar. It could be lust, gluttony, or envy. These are all options because they are part desire.

Good. Wait, not good. He wants me? Oh god, he really is gay! No, no, no, no. It could be that he wants my potential for his sect. Mm, that makes sense. Anyway, the flying sword speeds around at a speed fast enough so that I can’t catch full glimpses of everything passing by. He could probably go faster than this, but I think he’s slowing down for me. Or their cultivation is really so shit that they’ve done something wrong and I just haven’t detected it yet. This world is full of problems, isn’t it?

It takes a bit, but soon, the Mystic Soul cultivator finds Rucia’s trail. I would’ve guided him in the right direction, but I couldn’t really make it obvious. I only said that I thought I saw her following the river. Other than that, I couldn’t do much more than that. Sorry Rucia, but I think that I won’t be able to get to you as fast as I thought. We follow Rucia’s trail, but the Mystic Soul cultivator asks me a surprise question.

“Say, how come you aren’t affected by the illusions that the Mysterious Soul Tempering Grove produces?” He asks.

Oh shit, this is bad. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you mean by that senior.” I say respectfully.

“I mean that the Mysterious Soul Tempering Grove produces illusions that all cultivators under Foundation Building are affected by, no exceptions. Unless you knew ahead of time, which you obviously didn’t, there’s no way to counter this affect.”

He’s trapped me! He’s trapped me splendidly! He cut off an escape route by stating that I didn’t know with the word ‘obviously.’ He cut off another one with ‘no exceptions’ and another with ‘there’s no way to counter this affect.’ He’s good! However, so am I. If he thinks he’s got me, then he is sorely mistaken. I’ll break right through your word blocks!

“Senior, it may seem that I wouldn’t be able to resist these effects, but I practiced an incomplete mental protection method, which I haven’t made much progress on. However, I had no idea it was so mystical as to be able to protect against illusions as strong as these.” I counter.

Though it isn’t perfect, I should be able to slip by these word maneuvers. But then, I hear a scream. Rucia’s scream. I turn in that direction. She’s surrounded by multiple demon beasts. Damn you conscience, stop making me want to save her! I jump off the flying sword and land near Rucia.

“I’m here, Rucia.”

“Ardven…!”

It’s only now that I remember I came along with a cultivator who can crush these demon beasts underfoot like how a mortal crushes an ant.

Whoops. Tee-hee!