《My Hermit Life》Criticism ( 4 )
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The fourth criticsism, for any new readers this is a prime time to give ideas or suggestions on how you think the story could be improved, though I doubt I have any new readers. I have done my best to improve my grammar and spelling, but I know I could still use considerable improvement. I would also like to do a poll on a new idea I have had for Solomon's newest formation the, Creation Formation. When I first thought of the CF I had intentions on Solomon just using it to create parts and whatnot to create weapons, armours, and other devices. But I had the idea of Solomon using it to create new races, I just want your guys'es opinions on if I should do that, or if it would be to OP. I could just make it to where only Loretta can create new races since she has experience, I don't really know though so if you guys could leave your opinions in the comments that would be appreciated.
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Rise of the Mechanar
(For new readers: LITRPG elements don't take effect until Chapter 12) At twenty-years, Nicholas has lived his life to fulfil a vow. With the obligation settled, he yearns for answers to the mystery of his own origin. To solve it, he will need to venture to the old continent, the Ancient Capital, and to the midst of the war waged to reclaim it from the monsters that have driven humanity from it, countless millennia ago. He has planned for this, with years of effort in the making.Yet not all plans survive, and with the advent of heathen invaders, he swears another promise and finds himself alone in the wilderness of the old continent. With enemies, both monster and human, surrounding him on all sides, he draws on ancient powers that may finally provide the answers he was looking for all along.However, the night is long and he must tread carefully on his newfound powers, because he may turn into something that even monsters fear. Updates Weekly Cover Art Credit: ELEX @ELEXART Discord: https://discord.gg/JSwhpKqB9p
8 58Blood Emperor
Blood Emperor Eztli has reigned over the world for the past two thousand years. Unfortunately, he has reached the end of his life. His body has long since withered, qi barely usable and his Life Force a delicate strand. He, however, dedicated his life researching a way to create an immortal body--so he could reign eternally--and succeeded. Defenseless as he transfers his soul into the immortal body, he is betrayed. He awakes only to find himself trapped in the body of a rabbit, his strength gone and staring at a boy eager to bind him.
8 243NEWDIE STEADSLAW Part I
NEWDIE STEADSLAW is a randomized array of Chekhov's red herrings, non sequitors ex machina, run-on sentences, and em dashes—so many em dashes. It's like if the Bible and Shakespeare had a baby that they surrendered to foster care, then it got adopted by Alice in Wonderland and Dr. Seuss—the books, not the people—and then the baby fell down the stairs. In this metaphor, the stairs wrote the story. Part I is the tale of the adventures of Traycup and Roby as they try to hold down a job inside the hollow Earth—a place made possible thanks to the secret science of embargoed relativity—and they get distracted by dancing foxes, a giant's record collection, and something with a train, I think. It's a work of fiction—although to call it work seems insulting to, y'know, actual work—but the fiction label is apt, so, y'know, that's a win. Half the words are made up, and the other half are embarrassed to be seen with them. Part I is complete.
8 204-BOSS-
Намайг зүгээр л BOSS гэж дуудахад болно2020.03.10/2020.07.08.
8 197A Wheel Inside a Wheel
Two brilliant young me, Reinhard von Musel and Yang Wen-li, are forced to flee the countries of their birth and become refugees on opposite sides of a century long galactic war. While they both struggle to adapt to their new lives, their obvious talent propels them to the forefront of the war. Their choices will shape their adoptive homelands forever, and their clash will decide the future of the galaxy. This story is broken up into volumes, each following one half of the conflict. You can read them in chronological order, or you can follow just Yang or Reinhard. See individual descriptions below. Part One - Speaking in Tongues When Yang Wen-li’s father dies, the only thing that he inherits is a mountain of debt, which can only be paid off with fifteen years of his life. Wanting to escape that indentured servitude, Yang flees his homeland and takes up a false identity in the Galactic Empire, a hyper-stratified society where stepping out of line is punishable with imprisonment or death. Yang enrolls in the Imperial Officers’ Academy to study history, but despite his unusual and unmistakeable talent as both a tactician and a scholar, his classmates resent him for being a visible outsider. When tensions at the school boil over and several of Yang’s classmates attempt to murder him, Yang finds an unlikely ally in the top student in the class: the aloof Oskar von Reuenthal. But Reuenthal and Yang both have secrets, secrets which could destroy both their lives and their newfound friendship. [70k words, complete] Part One (Alternate) - Talking Without Speaking When Oskar von Reuenthal enrolls at the Imperial Officers' Academy, he doesn’t expect to make real friends. The IOA is a competitive place, and Reuenthal has never been well liked. But when a foreign student shows up to challenge him for the top spot in the class, Reuenthal can’t look away. [77k words, complete] Part Two - Life out of Balance When Reinhard von Musel's mother learns that her husband is about to sell her daughter to become the concubine of the Kaiser, she takes her two children, Reinhard and Annerose, and flees to the Free Planets Alliance, where the three of them must start a new life. [129k words, complete] Part Three - Servants of the Pharaoh Now an officer in His Majesty's fleet, Yang Wen-li struggles to maintain his principles in the face of everything that is expected of him. When he's unwillingly drawn into the politics of the court, he has to use all of his talents to keep himself and his new friends out of danger. [173k words, complete] Short - Whatever It Takes to Keep the Body Warm After their falling out, Reuenthal and Mittermeyer are both posted to the brutal wasteland of Capche-Lanka. It's difficult to hold a grudge when you're just trying to survive. [23k words, complete] Short - Keep the Home Fires (Burning) Three soldiers. Two bodies to be buried. One haunted house. [33k words, complete] Part Four - Lighting Out for the Territories While his sister has joined the fierce Rosen Ritter regiment, Reinhard's fame has earned him a post stuck on Phezzan. Instead of getting to fight, he's caught up in a web of secrets, including the shelter and care of a mysterious refugee from the Empire. Separated from everyone he cares about, Reinhard is forced to make some unexpected allies, and make connections with old friends. [147k words, complete] Part Five - Serpent's Mouth, Serpent's Teeth After having sacrificed his freedom to save his best friend's life, Yang must figure out how to win, and not just survive, the largest civil war in human history. [In progress] Part Six - Lightless Labyrinth [forthcoming, TBD] Part Seven - Silent Spiral [forthcoming, TBD] This story is crossposted on ao3 at bit.ly/wheelinsideawheel
8 276Look at What You Made Me(BNHA x Bullied Ghoul
You were a student at UA, however you were quirkless so you were bullied often. During the attack on the USJ you were captured but everyone thought you were dead. However in reality you were being tortured and experimented on. In the end you succumbed to the pain and became insane and bloodthirsty. Now you are back for revenge
8 177