《I am not the Hero》9. Zero Fucks
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"I'm sorry… it took so long to say this…." Levia laughed at herself, "…and I told you this while you are having trouble with your memories too. You must be disappointed to know your Older Sister is a coward, huh—"
"No, I... do not... if anything, it is the opposite." his expression turned to that of seriousness, "Such a wild burst of emotion was unexpected, but I find it courageous of Older Sister to apologize. The hardest part of living is doing the right thing when it is so easy to be in the wrong for so long. If only everyone who is hurting can say what is in the hardship in their hearts if only, they could do that, then, there might not be a need unnecessary pain."
Anyone who holds back their emotions would be prone to exploding in one form or another one day. It mattered not how nor why; the only question was when.
But, even knowing what caused it was hard.
For Theo and Levia, trauma was its source. Something that could have led to more insidious results that could result in death.
Not everything lethal affects the physical body; most of them are mental and cracks in the mind, 'Depression, Anxiety, Hatred to someone, Self-Loathing, Envy, Insecurity, all of which are as deadly, if not deadlier. An invisible poison grows stronger with time. Giving birth to dangerous thoughts, endangering themselves and the others around them, eventually leading to self-destruction.'
Heruzen experienced them all with various points of view and reason. He could see that Levia and the original had one such turmoil boiling in their minds. Swirling like an evil concoction.
Seeing his deep eyes, Levia could not help but shake her head.
She ruffled his hair.
"Would you look at that? It seems like losing your memory made you into a man of words. Such insight from someone who can't even remember who he is."
Levia laughed, "—but, I can't say that you're wrong. Come on; it's getting late. You should rest for the night."
Theo got dragged away by the brash sister. He did let out a yelp, but he did not fight back, seeing a satisfied smile on Levia's face.
Carrying the now-empty bowl of milk and cat food, Theo and Levia walked down the hallway in silence.
"Um… now that you can hold the sword again, do you want me to help you retrain yourself?"
"Aish, sorry, but I already promised Mother Thalia that I would be learning Spell Arts… after reading books."
"I… I see… good luck then."
Levia, who had not known to act around her brother.
Theo saw no one as a family.
Indeed an awkward pair, to say the least...
They tried to bring the conversation back to life but failed on several occasions.
They could only inwardly sigh upon reaching Theo's door.
"Are you sure you are okay, Older Sister? You seem disappointed."
"Yes… yes… I am fine…." Levia began walking to her room, leaving Theo behind. Hesitantly, she turned around, "Theo, about earlier, can you keep it a secret from the family?"
'Heh, I felt someone watching over us, so I don't think this is going to remain a secret.' But he smiled on the outside, "Of course, I shall take it to the grave if I need to."
Levia did not laugh,
"…hehe… sorry." Theo did not need to act this one, 'Yeah, too soon.'
"If that is all, I'll be heading inside now." Theo escaped to his room, leaving Levia outside.
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"…" Just as he heard footsteps outside, Theo's face flushed. He cursed himself and the original in his heart and then suddenly opened the door,
"Wait, Older Sister!"
"What is it!?"
"Um, about that training, can you… um… is that offer still standing? I think having stamina can help me learn spells faster."
"Of course, um… I'll see you tomorrow then."
"Yes… sure."
Clack.
The doors closed.
Levia stood there alone. Her steps were light walking away.
Returning to his room, Theo undressed and then went into the bathroom to take a nice long bath.
Inside the bathroom, Theo found that the bathtub generated warm water. He pre-cleaned his body and then hopped into the bath… hid his face with his hands… then screamed.
‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! How embarrassing was that!? DAMN YOU ORIGINAL!’
Once again, he cursed.
But, if the original could respond this time, it would only show him a middle finger, telling him, "That's you lacking human connection, not me."
But Theo did not know that… no, he refused to realize such a thing.
"…"
Theo stared into the ceiling, 'I feel tired… but I still have so many things to do.'
Theo got out of the bath and wiped himself down.
'The script can only lead to him becoming a hero. To where it stands, I need to quickly start and patent some inventions to rake in money, haaaaaaaaaaaa~.'
He yawned while searching for a change of clothes.
'I feel drained. I really need mana—I mean qi— I mean, whatever, Deus Ex Machina I can get my hands on.'
An attempt was made to find a nightgown.
Tzzzz!
Theo held his head in piercing pain.
'…fuck it.'
He gave up and slipped into the bed.
Searching for the warmth of the blanket, he found the perfect temperature.
'Well, at least this place has good… bedding.'
Inside the white fort, Theo buried his face in the softness of the pillows.
Its warmth was perfectly suited to his liking, '…am I... forgetting something?'
His thoughts wandered, but before he could think, he was beaten black and blue by the desire to sleep, '…must be… unimportant… huh, the smell of the forest… how calming.'
***
"Hmmm, hmmm, oh, Ella, did Sister Rose sleep well last night?"
"Dunno, she asked me to leave the premises after she cooked dinner for the Young Master. I didn't see her in her room this morning as well." The maid bluntly answered.
"She cooked for him?"
"Yes, his eyes brightened and everything, it made the Young Master look like a child."
"Huh, so the rumors about her awful cooking were lies, after all. Also, I thought she would be against marrying Theo, but it appears that I was wrong. Well, if Sister Rose is fine with it, then Theo got lucky. Anyway, Rose knows how to handle herself, so she'll be fine."
"How cold-hearted of you, Young Miss. To disregard Miss Rose like that, tsk, tsk, Lady Laura and Lady Thalia would be disappointed."
"Oh please, you haven't seen the real Rose. But she'll be fine even if she's lost." Levia explained, "Hummm, hummm, hmmmmmmm, hm."
"You are awfully cheerful today, Young Miss. Did something nice happen last night?"
"It is nothing, Ella." Levia bluntly answered.
"Are you sure, Young Miss? The last time you hummed this much was when you broke Alex Brendal's Arms during an official duel—ah, wait, that's wrong, it was when you managed to pet a cat without having blood drawn. Did you perhaps succeed in feeding the strays?"
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"I did," Levia answered straightforwardly.
"I see, well, eventually, domesticated species can also feel empathy towards a pitiful beast."
"Hey, watch your word." Levia grew irritated by Ella's words.
Ella smiled sweetly, "Whatever do you mean, Young Miss?"
"…that smile disgusts me."
"Why, thank you for the compliment, hoho."
Ella is the House Sigurd's first Young Miss's Personal Maid.
She was a very "gentle woman" who held a calm demeanor on her countenance. Despite her young age, she was well-respected amongst the maids, mostly because she could break anyone's jaw if they said anything wrong, and she was efficient in her work.
No one wants to have their jaws broken… unless they have other thoughts on the matter. Ella was also a member of the Anirians and was born under the Spirit of the Wolf, thus the wolf-like fluffy ears she had.
"So, you succeeded in feeding them; that is good news. Anyway, I saw Young Miss wiping your tears after you separated from the Young Master. Did that have anything to— "
Swoosh!
Dodging a comb-turned knife, Ella giggled as she took it from her hand, "—thank you, I needed that. Now, do not move too much, Young Miss; I might damage your hair."
"…You are such a bitch sometimes," Levia growled.
"Hoho, you are wrong Young Miss; I have always been a bitch. I am of the canine, after all." Ella moved her ears, "As I was saying, did something happen with the Young Master?"
"We talked."
"Hoooh, then did you finally mustered the courage to apologize to the Young Master?"
"Tsk… I did."
"That is good, then, how about the thank—"
"I did both, okay!?"
"Good girl." Ella patted Levia's head, "—a~nd done."
"Disregarding how I am literally your employer—you are only two months older than me, so don't treat me like a kid, Ella."
"The Young Master is only a month younger than you…."
"…touché."
Ella won the argument.
The two exited the room with Levia wearing her usual tight-fitting pants with her hair tied to a neat bun and Ella carrying a training sword.
"I see that you are bringing your training sword instead of a real one. Are you training with the Drako Knights? But isn't Captain Weiss away?"
"No, that's for Theo to use. He asked me to retrain him in the way of the sword last night." Levia showed a satisfied smile,
"So that's your excuse for spending family time."
"You're pushing it."
"I apologize… anyway, so the Young Master really managed to lift a sword?"
"You know that as well? Wait, don't tell me, Butler Viel?"
"No, it wasn't him. I was lazin—choo! Excuse me; it's near Spring, the pollens are getting to me."
"Just tell me already."
"Okay, I was training nearby when they talked about it. I even heard something about the Young Master being re-enrolled to the Academy again. But doesn't the Magister Academy reject the same person who repeats a Course?"
"Yes, but Theo decided to practice Spell Arts, so it doesn't matter." Levia's eyes turned sinister.
"If that is the case, please remind this stupid maid of yours why we are heading over to the Young Master carrying swords?"
"To train his body, of course. Just because you are a Spell Caster does not mean you can neglect the vessel. Without a strong body, he'll end up breaking when Mother Thalia starts training him."
"…makes sense." Ella didn't see any problem; thus, she threw caution into the air.
"Can we watch? (Can we watch?)." The twins, Lyria and Lisa, appeared with their pen and paper raised.
"...you raise that as if it answers anything..."
"Research (Research)." They answered in a chorus.
Levia sighed, "Don't you two have lessons today?"
"It is the last day of the week!"
"It's a rest day!"
"It is? Huh…" she thought it was still only the sixth day, "Sigh*, I reckon Titus is still asleep? And you have no need to train today?"
"Yes, yes, so please allow us to research older brother!"
"We're learning so much from watching him!"
The twins' eyes glistened with anticipation.
"…okay, just make sure not to be too distracting?"
"Understood! (Understood!)." they saluted their sister.
"Good girls." Levia smiled as she opened the doors, "Theo, it is time for morning training."
"Mmmmmm~" a groan sounded out from underneath the covers.
'As I thought. His old habits remain etched in the body. But not for long.'
Levia smiled as her eyes burned, "You two, open the curtains."
"Okay~ (Okay~)."
Levia gathered her courage before she could push the door open and walked over to Theo's bed and grabbed the blanket covering his body, "To train the body, one must start early to breathe in morning dew. So, wake up!"
FWU!
Levia vigorously lifted the blanket wanting to give Theo an energetic morning. She wanted to surprise him with a new training sword, but when covers uncovered what was underneath, her bright smile turned ugly.
"What's going on here!?" Levia's eyes widened in shock.
"Huh?"
"What is happening?"
The twins leaned closer to see better. They were ready to inscribe what happened.
But—
"Ella, I cannot see! (Ella, I cannot see!)."
"It is for your own good, Young Misses."
"But research! (But research!)."
"This kind of research topic is for adults only. Wait ten more years, please." Ella blushed. She was partially disgusted, but… she was also intrigued and snuck glances over from time to time.
"Mm? Levia? Everyone?" he looked around with drowsy eyes.
"Theo, what in the world are you doing?"
"Um… sleeping? Ah, oh— you mean me without underwear? I apologize, but I couldn't find a change of clothes last night." He lazily said and covered his lower half… his eyes threatened to close.
"N-no, that's not what I mean—Rose! I mean Rose!" Levia pointed at the person by his side.
Theo looked down to see if something was wrong. Looking down, he saw Rose on his chest, sleeping with a smile.
He looked at her, drooling on his chest and then back at Levia.
"Oh… it's okay; I do mind a little bit of drool on my body."
"?!?!" Levia's eyes twitched. "That's not what I mean! Why are you sleeping with Rose!? She's from the Light Church! Not to mention she's... just... you can't do that yet!"
Theo said, seeing how Rose had drenched his chest. With the most honest expression he could show, he just said, "We are engaged... are we not?"
"…"
Without shame, embarrassment, silence became a lull; he closed his eyes, left his fate for the body to decide, while Rose snuggled closer.
"zzz"
"…did he just go back to sleep?" Levia asked.
"Yes," Ella answered.
Theo was too tired to deal with any of the unnecessary shit.
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