Chapter twelve

I hate fighting dragons.

Obviously most people hated fighting dragons but I hate fighting them for a completely different set of reasons.

The dragon in front of me stretched its slim long neck towards me , fixed his yellow beady eyes on me and then roared , displaying a veritable forest of spine like teeth that he had somehow managed to keep contained in his mouth without skewering himself. As the warm breath of the dragon enveloped my whole body I was reminded of the first reason why I hated fighting dragons, they have the worst smelling breath in all of the nine realms. Many large predators get large chunks of meat stuck in their teeth which then putrefies over time making their breaths smell fetid but the dragons seem to have special saliva that facilitates this process giving them a uniquely disgusting breath that has been known to knockout fully grown men. If you want to know what a dragon's breath smells like, use your slaughterhouse as an outhouse or vice versa for a week . That was the kind of smell I was experiencing as the dragon's breath washed over me.

Done with its intimidation the dragon turned to the stands which were now protected by a glowing blue barrier. It opened its mouth again but this time instead of roaring it used its serpentine tongue to talk in a loud booming voice, "Is this to be my first opponent or is he merely an appetizer Princess Lashina?"

Which brings me to the second reason why I hate fighting dragons, they are one of the few beasts that have the ability to speak, the problem was that they seemed to lack the ability to shut the fuck up. There was nothing a dragon likes to hear more than the sound of its own voice. It was like all dragons are afflicted by the same disease, verbal diarrhea.

"It doesn't matter if I'm fighting a frost giant or this weakly human, our deal is that I get fifty beautiful young virgin brides for each fight I win and when I crush this puny insect you will owe me fifty young maidens, do we still have a deal?"

Which brings me to the third reason, they are cocky sons of bitches with absolutely no respect for their opponents. They believe themselves to be superior to every other race except maybe the Aesir themselves. The fourth reason isn't actually a reason why I hate fighting dragons but more of why I hate dragons in general, they are all male and all of them have these very tiny dicks that seem to mock their great sizes ,the only way they could get any satisfaction for their tiny dicks is by fucking a virgin maiden and when they are finished they devour the maiden whole as a tasty snack. This in itself isn't bad but since they go through thousands of maidens to satisfy their lusts that leaves less women for the rest of us to fuck which makes all men hate them on principle.

The dragon must have received some signal from the princess that she agreed to his terms because he shifted his reptilian gaze towards me, "It seems that you are going to die puny human but you should be proud that you died by the claws of the mighty Grimdar, the mighty dragon whose very name inspires awe and fear in all the races, master of the Turmian mountains , destroyer of countless nations, the scourge of the dwarves..."

I just couldn't listen to the stupid bastard talk anymore. I unsheathed my sword, rolled forward and used the momentum of my roll to throw the sword at the dragon. It flew straight and true, right into the insufferable bastard's left eye. The sword had enough power that it was able to penetrate the eye. It easily broke through the eye socket and then lodged itself deep into the dragon's brain.

The dragon was dead before it even hit the ground.

As the dust cleared after the fall of the giant dragon I approached the dragon's head and started to claw through the ruptured left eye and dug through the broken eye socket to get to the brain.

Which brings me to the last and main reason I hated fighting dragons, I had to go digging through their brains to retrieve my weapon after I was done.