《Demonology For Morons》Holy Law 235Res-Tru
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Chapter 1
As I wake up all I see is nothing. At first I’m extremely confused then I realize that I’m dead and that apparently there is no heaven or hell just an endless sea of white nothingness. Then as I wonder what I’m going to do for the next eternity I understand that my last thought was probably wrong and I’m in hell.
“FUCK!”
Condolences on your death.
Due to a certain event that transpired during your death, under Holy Law 235Res-Tru, you will now have restricted access to customization of your next life. Feel free to ask questions this interface is designed to assist you along the process.
Enjoy
“YES!”
Man it is just a roller-coaster of emotion in this place.
“Wait. What was the event that gave me this?”
Fate manipulated events in order to create something that would not otherwise…
“Holy Law 235Res-Tru. Tru as in Truck isn’t it?”
…
Please choose your race
“Please don’t lie and then gloss over this I would really like to know.”
PLEASE CHOOSE YOUR RACE
After the angry system finished a long list of races popped up in front of me like a game screen.
I wonder if this system thinks its as ridiculous as I do. Well might as benefit from others stupidity. Let’s see what we have here. Most of these races I’ve never even heard of which I guess is to be expected, Earth wasn’t the most diverse when it came to sentient life. There are a few I’m interested in though like there’s the demon race, fallen angel, vampires, and dark avariel.
“Hey I’m noticing a trend in these races. Why are you trying to make me pick something evil?!”
This System is designed to reduce the almost limitless choices by removing all choices that are not anywhere near your souls wavelength for ease of your transition into the next life.
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“I get the feeling you’re trying to pick a fight with me right now. I didn’t do anything particularly evil in my last life I don’t feel like I deserve this treatment!” I say as I’m starting to get annoyed, so much for limiting my bad behavior in that boring ass world so I can hopefully get better treatment in the next.
This System is designed to reduce the almost limitless choices by removing all choices that are not anywhere near your souls wavelength for ease of your transition into the next life. No need to create a morally bankrupt angel among the celestials just for it to fall in a couple of days and get hunted down and killed in a week.
“Wow, no need to get so touchy.”
So it’s saying that my soul leans towards the evil side rather than the good. Well I guess that’s fine and the system is right it does save some time I would’ve been tempted by something like an angel just to fuck around and see the look on there faces, but just tempted I still probably would’ve picked between those four. How do I choose which one though do I kind of want to ask the system for I die to roll and see if a 1-4 pops up and pick from that. Soul wavelength though I wonder if that’s important. OH! I know!
“Hey system out of Demons, Fallen Angels, Vampires, and Dark Avariels what race is my soul wavelength most suited?”
Demons
“I’ll choose the Demon race then”
The demon race has many sub-races, ranging from the weakest Lesser Imps to the world destroyers known as there royalty. However due to only being allowed restricted access the system will choose the sub-race based on past karma. Do you wish to proceed?
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“Yes”
Please choose an unique ability.
“I choose to make the world seem like a game.”
Please clarify.
“I want to be able to my and everyone else’s strength, level, and skills in comparison to the world around me in number format and the percentage of work or experience I need to go to the next level.”
Knowledge is power after all and knowing where I stand in relation to others is a huge gain. Especially since I don’t know anything about these races.
Ability Accepted. Due to the fact that ability is lacking in comparison to other unique abilities the ability has been modified and boosted. Please choose a name. Be aware that a name for the demon race is absorbed deep into their very soul and knowing a demons true name will grant power over them as well!
I wonder what some of the other unique abilities are then. I hope I diddn’t just blow my chance to get an instant I win ability, but then again it would be pretty boring if I won at life so easily. But a name hmmmm….
“Aurora.”
Name Accepted. You will be reborn in just a moment do you have any final questions?
“Holy Law 235Res-Tru involves people who die because of trucks doesn’t it?”
Rebirth Initiated
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