Soooo Justine and I had sex. We totally fucked each other’s brains out. We both got caught in the moment and we just went at it like primal animals in heat. Yup. All that grunting and UHN UHN UHN sounds from me and “OH GODDESS! YES! YES! YES!!” from her. Yes sir. We fucked for hours throughout the entire night and well into the morning. We’re totally in love and we’re going to get married and and and!!!!! She’s pregnant with my child!!!!! Yeah! I know! Apparently, if you have sex once, you get pregnant. I’m going to name it Stumpy when it comes into this world. Stumpy is a good name. I’ll find a job and build a lovely house. Stumpy will play with its ginger cousins who will live next door to us and we will all live happily ever after. The end.

Of course I didn’t have sex with that crazy bitch. Jesus, Lindsey. Why the fuck would you even pretend that happened? I’m not some mindless, sex-craved idiot who would fuck anything that moves! I’m not looking for some alien booty to smack, although…Justine does have a nice boo THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING?! You know full well that Justine is a total bitch. Sure, she was nice just then and gave you cookies, which you shouldn’t have crushed…wasteful. But she’s still a top of the line, grade A, bonafide bitch. No, I did not have sex with Justine and I will not have sex with Justine. Don’t want to get her pregnant. Actually, could I even get a Daemon pregnant? Are we even compatible? Wait, why I am I even bothering to have this inner monologue? Probably to entertain some imaginary audience in my head. HI IMAGINARY AUDIENCE! LOOK AT ME BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!!

Let’s replay what REALLY happened: After our talk, she took me to the bath house and said that she’s going to go change her shirt. Whoops. My bad there. I totally soaked it. Any higher and I would have seen those beautiful tiny tits of hers again. She also said that she is going to make some more cookies to replace the ones I crushed. Sweeeeet. I thanked her and again threatened to shoot her in face if she spoke a word about what happened in my room to my siblings. She responded by petting me on the head like some fucking puppy and walking away with a wicked grin on her face. I remind myself that I fucking hate that bitch. I don’t care if she says my hatred is a lie, it is not a fucking lie. I just had a moment of weakness and it will never happen again. Ah who am I kidding, I'm definitely falling for her.

Anyways, after she left, I walked in the bath house and find that there is an area to wash myself and a hot spring to relax in. Eagerly, I stripped, cleaned myself, and am now soaking and relaxing in the hot spring. THAT is what happened. Get your fucking mind out of the fucking gutter, Lindsey. You still need to figure out what to do on this planet. Go rub one out or something. Fuck. Well, don’t actually fuck…soooo, shit! Actually, I kind of need to take a shit now. Where’s the toilet? Actually, I don’t need to shit anymore.

You know, it’s so comfy in here. And it smells nice. It’s like someone had filled this room with vanilla and lavender. The steam from the hot spring rises and surrounds me, going into my pores, soothing me. Too bad the door doesn’t lock. I guess the culture here is community bathing or something. Hmm? Did the door just open? Holy shit! Am I psychic or something? Can I just make things happen as I think it? Let’s test it out.

5 beautiful Daemon women walk into the bathroom, naked and start looking around the room, searching for something. One of them sees me and excitedly points and shrieks at the top of her lungs. The other 4 Daemons follow suit and they all come running to me for an orgy session. I open my arms wide to catch them as they jump into my waiting arms. As I reach to grab one of their breasts…

“Lindsey, what are you grinning about?” Volt's voice asks me, interrupting my fantasy. Fuck. “Lindsey. Talking to you litttle man.”

“Hey bro. Don’t worry about it.”

“Oooookaaaay. You looked like an idiot.”

“Your face is an idiot.”

“Nice comeback.”

“Thank you.”

“…”

“…”

“It was a terrible comeback, Linds.”

“I know.”

“…”

“…I need to take a shit.”

“Thanks for sharing.”

“You’re welcome.”

We remain where we are for awhile longer before Volt chimes up, “I thought you needed to shit.”

“I changed my mind. Why are you still standing there? Get in or get out. Make up your mind. I’m tired of being forced to look at your dong.”

“I thought you liked seeing it since you kept staring at it.”

“Well, it did answer the question that has been plaguing me since I learned about the birds and the bees from our mom and dad.”

“What’s that?”

“You do have red hair down there. Does Blake’s carpet match her drapes too?”

“Fuck you, Linds," Volts laughs, shaking that stupid ginger head of his. FINALLY he hops into the hot spring and sits across from me. He lets out a sigh as he leans back, resting his head. Yeah, I hear you brother. Long day. Looooong day. I close my eyes to relax but almost immediately, Volt asks me a question.

“Linds, what do you want to do?”

“What do you mean? Shut up, man. I’m trying to relax.”

“We’re going to Union City. But what about afterwards? Do you want to join the War Guild? I’m guessing that they send people to go fight the Contagion. You want to fight? We are trained after all.”

“…No. We know nothing about the Contagion. For all we know, the Contagion could just be an oppressed group struggling to survive after chasing off the Daemons who may have been slave masters. Or they could just be a convenient scapegoat to blame for all the bad shit that happens.”

“They could also be a terrorist group committing atrocities. Like the Nazis did back on Earth.”

“Doesn’t matter. Not my fight.”

“You don’t want to fight?”

“Not if I can avoid it. Didn’t we fight enough back on Earth?”

“I just wanted to make sure.”

“Do you want to fight another war? Especially one that we know nothing about? We blindly followed orders enough already.”

“Like you said, not our fight, little brother.”

“Damn straight.”

“So what, you just want to do nothing?”

“No…I think I’ll travel, explore this planet. I’ll be the first human to do anything. First one to climb that mountain. First one to see a Beastmen. First one to have sex with an alien. First one to marry an alien. First one to…”

“Get his shit beaten out of him by a female alien,” Volt interrupts me while cackling like some maniac. “By the way, I saw her enter your room…”

“Oh yeah, we totally banged. She tasted like eggplant. Cause she's purple.”

“That’s nice. What really happened?”

“Nothing. Don’t want to talk about it. Go away.”

“I just got in.”

“Fine. I’ll leave.”

“Lindsey,” Volt calls out to me as I get out and put on the robe the Daemons provided for us in the bath house, “you know that Blake and I will go with whatever you decide to do right? If you decide to fight; we’ll fight as well. You want to travel; we’re coming with. No matter what, we’ll always be there for you.”

“I know. Thanks.”

“Don’t keep everything to yourself. Hell, I’m your older brother. I’m supposed to be the one protecting YOU from everything, not the other way around. Let me help.”

“You already are,” I smile at him and receive on in return. “You’re keeping Blake safe and always watching my back. Especially now. Stop staring as my ass.”

I walk to the door but before I leave, I turn my head back at the one of the only two people whom has always been there for me for as long as I can remember.

“Thanks, you fucking ginger.”

“Always, princess.”

Walking back to my room, a terrible thought flashes through my head. Did I just condemn my brother to die? Fuck. I think I did. FUCK!! All this emotional shit just fucked my brother over. Or did it fuck me over? Am I the one who will die? No, I am the main character in this narration. But then again, in Volt’s mind, HE is the main character here.

Fuck….FUUUUUCK!!! If that is the case, might as go all in. I stop in front of my brother’s room and knock. Without waiting for an answer, I open the door and poke my head in. Blake is tinkering with Sky at the moment. Probably making some adjustments so Sky doesn’t need to recharge as often. That would be nice. Blake waves at me without saying anything. Well, let’s get this over with.

“Sis. Volt and I just had a heart-to-heart, man-to-man, brother-to-brother talk in the bath house. But by doing so, he will die. That’s what always happens in the movies and novels, you know that. Have a heart-to-heart with some major and important character and that character will die. It’s foreshadowing. Basically, we just foreshadowed Volt’s death. Wait! I’m not done! Don’t speak yet. Let me finish!

Sooooo…I love you like the older sister I never had. Thank you for always taking care of me. Thank you for marrying my brother. You make him very happy. I know you will always be there for me and I know you will always try to protect me. I love you very much and I know I don’t say that enough.

You ARE my family. And now that I have had a heart-to-heart with my sister-in-law as well, you’re going to die too. Or I’m most definitely going to die if you’re the main character. I think I’m the main character though so it’s probably going to be you who dies. But before you die, make sure you have an excellent fucking session with Volt. Do it tonight. You might die tomorrow. Who knows? At this rate, Sky will be the only survivor. Oh and before I go, I need you to answer a very important question for me…..Does your carpet match your drapes?”

Blake’s face slowly turns into one of disbelief and exasperation as she brings a hand to her face. I think she just face palmed. Yup. Definitely a face palm.

“Hun, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I find your unwillingness to answer my question very disappointing. Oh well. Good night and don’t die!”

I pull my head out of her room and find the Volt has exited the bath house as well. His hands are slightly raised in a “what the fuck is wrong with you” kind of expression. I beam brightly at him and pat him on the shoulder.

“Good night bro! Don’t die and use a condom tonight! Unless you’re trying to give me a nephew or a niece. Then in which case, don’t use a condom and good luck! But no matter what, have fun!”

I run into my room before he could say anything. Once inside, I fumble around in the darkness trying to find the light switch to turn on the fire lamps overhead. Fuck it, I can’t see shit. I’ll just take off my robe in the dark. Hmmm, I could wear the clothes from the pod or my survival bag to bed but…they’re on the other side of the room. Fuck that. I’m too lazy and tired and it is dark. I’m going to bed. As I crawl into bed, I smile in the knowledge that I just successfully went all-in and condemned everyone. Why is that a good thing? How the fuck should I know? It made more sense in my head earlier. I’ll worry about it later. I’m going to drift off to sleep now.

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KNOCK KNOCK

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I hate this planet. What does it have against me sleeping? Should I ignore it? I should ignore it. Let’s ignore it.

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KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

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“Alright!”

I get up and fumble my way to the door. Who the fuck is out there? I open the door lazily and find myself looking at two black bumps. Huh? Oh. Small boobs in a black t-shirt. I look up and see Justine turning a deeper shade of purple. What’s she embarrassed abo…Ah. I’m naked. I should have put on clothes before hopping into bed.

“So...like what you see? You already seen me naked before. But then again, I was upside down so it probably looked strange to you. Or maybe you just wanted to see me naked. You ever going to tell me why I was naked?”

“PUT ON SOME CLOTHES!!” she demands as she turns around. Without looking, she waves her hand at the door, guiding the air to flip the switch and turn on the fire lamps.

Heh. Well, at least she didn’t punch me this time. As I’m putting on some clothes, she turns around and hands me a plate. Ooooo…coooookiess. I quickly pull up my pants so that I immediately grab one and shove it in my mouth.

Holy shit! THESE ARE FUCKING DELICIOUS!!

“Justine, these are amazing!!” I exclaim as I grab another one to eat.

The Daemon smiles as she sits on the bed and crosses her legs. I eat another cookie. Yes, I’m practically inhaling them. I can’t help myself, these cookies are like crack to me. I think there was a total of six cookies. All of which ended up in my stomach. I hold the plate in front of me, unsure what to do with it. The table is on the other side of the bed and it would be rude to hand it back to Justine. Hmmm…What to do. As I’m thinking, Justine reaches out and takes the plate from my hands.

“Oh. Thanks.”

“I am coming with you.”

“Sorry?”

“I am coming with you to Union City.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Why? I don’t like you.”

“Lie. And because your brother and sister asked me too.”

“Damnit. Fine. No hitting me.”

“Do not annoy me.”

“But you’re adorable when you are annoyed!”

“I WILL kill you.”

“LIE!”

“….True. I will not kill you, little Lindsey. I will just bring you to the brink of death.”

She sat on the bed in silence while I stood there in silence. I REALLY want to go to bed right now but she won’t leave. I wonder if she wants something from me?

“Is there another reason you came here?”

“During our travel to Union City we may encounter some Contagions.”

“I thought the Barrier keeps them out? And aren’t we flying?”

“The Barrier is not so efficient to be able to keep out small bands of Contagions. They keep out the main Contagion Swarm Army that attacks the Barrier daily but small bands of Contagions always manage to break through. And the Contagions evolve. There are few that have evolved wings to fly over the Barrier and get past the air defenses.”

“So we may get attacked?”

“Yes. But the chance is relatively small. But not small enough to not be careful. I wanted to warn you.”

Damnit. I really do not want to fight anyone. Maybe I can negotiate with the Contagion? Highly doubt it though. I get the feeling that they won’t be in the mood to talk. I need more information on these Contagions.

“Justine, do you have anything that can tell me about the Contagion? Like a history book or anything?”

“Yes, here.”

She hands me a thick book that I didn’t notice she was holding before. The book is titled The Contagion Swarm. Simple and to the point. I like it.

“You may keep that book. I am going to bed. Good night, little Princess Lindsey.”

“I hate you, small boobs.”

Justine stands up and smiles at me. She raises her hand and flicks my forehead just hard enough to make me feel it. Huh. Guess we have silently come to a compromise here. I get to call her “small boobs” as long as she continues to call me “Little Lindsey” or “Princess.” Not exactly what I call a fair trade considering that she gets two things to call me whereas I only get one. But at least I won’t get beat now.

When she leaves the room, I glace at the book. Contagion Swarm, huh? Well, let’s see what you are and if you are as horrible as Justine claims you are. I wonder what you are…maybe you guys are the victims in all this. Whatever, I don’t want to get dragged into your damn war at all. I fought in enough wars already. Hell, that was why I wanted to go to Europa; do something peaceful instead of trying to kill someone or steal a country’s secrets. I open the book to page one and see a picture of one of the Contagions.

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Fuck. Me. Now I really have to go take a shit.