《Xeno on Planet Erde》Chapter 8 - I AM YOUR GOD!! BOW BEFORE MY MIGHTY FORM!!!
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We jogged, well, I jogged, they walked, for what seemed like hours. In reality, it was probably only 30 minutes. The suns have started to set when we approached Justine’s village wall (apparently, her village in enclosed in a wall). Well, one of the suns anyways. The yellowish orange one disappeared past the horizon and the blue sun is just starting to set. Amazingly, with only the blue sun, everything had a shade of blue to it. It’s like someone lit up a dark room with a blue light. Right now, I’m admiring the scenery that has been revealed before me. It’s strange, yet beautiful at the same time. I can definitely find myself appreciating this scene each and every day that I’m here on Erde. Gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous.
As I am admiring the view, I realize that I have stopped jogging. Actually, I have stopped moving entirely. Up ahead, Volt and Blake have already reached the village gates and are already greeting some of the Daemons that seem to appear from nowhere. Suddenly, I feel someone grab me from behind and flip me on my back. Before I could even react, I find myself in the arms of a demon, not a Daemon, a demon. A demon by the name of Justine. The bitch is carrying me like I’m some kind of princess and she is the holy knight who just rescued me, the damsel in distress, from the clutches of some villain. She must have gotten impatient cause we’re flying at neck breaking speed towards her village. I cannot for the life of me decide if I am enjoying this or embarrassed by this. I mean, on one hand, I’M FUCKING FLYING!!!! On the other, I’m not exactly portraying a very manly image for myself. Pretty sure Justine just wanted to get to her village quickly, drop off her dead deezard, and showcase me like I’m some piece of meat, ahem I mean, alien, that made committed first contact with Erde. A quick glance at her face proves my point as she has this look of excitement written all over that smile of hers. She looks like a little kid about to open her Christmas present in the morning.
Man, well…Woman…think about my position here! I’m a Captain from Earth and you not only tried to kill me on multiple occasions but now you’re princess-carrying me? Come on!
Approaching the gates, I notice that the villagers and my siblings are now watching us. Fuck. And just like that, I am unceremoniously dropped onto the ground, ass landing painfully, as Justine runs, well, flies ahead to find her father and the BattleChief, I assume. Both Volt and Blake rush over and grab my arms as they help me to my feet.
“Not. A. Word,” I hiss under my breath so that only they can hear me. “Not a FUCKING word out of either of you!” The two of them just start laughing, grabbing their stomach as they walk away from me. Leaving me to fume in anger, alone. And here I thought being named Captain would get me some respect from them even though, technically, Volt is the same rank as me and Blake could outrank both of us if our health is on the line. Yup. She is also the Chief Medical Officer and her word is law when it comes to our well-being. I quickly calm myself as I approach the wave of villagers. There are probably 50 or in this village I estimate. Well, at least the ones that came out to see us. I smile and wave at them which promptly causes a few to wave back rather enthusiastically. I notice that some have their weapons drawn and arms slightly raised but not in any threatening manner. Well, that’s to be expected. I am not so naïve to think that we would be welcomed completely with open arms. Although, it would have been nice to be thought of as a God. Kind of like how the Spaniards were perceived when they first met the Mayans. I could have had my own nice little harem of purple aliens catering to my every whim. Heh. That would have happened if this was some fantasy or novel or something along that kind of shit. But no, this is reality. Or at least, my reality.
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A chill runs down my spine and I really don’t know why but I quickly press myself flat to the ground. No sooner than I did, a fireball lands right behind me. Had I been standing, I would have gotten blasted in the face.
Silence. Nobody said a word as everyone looked around to see who the perpetrator was. They look until all eyes fall on…yup, you guessed it. My favorite Daemon of all, the one and only, angry Justine! What did I do to piss her off now? You know what? I don’t give a shit anymore. She’s too difficult to figure out. Let’s just ignore her and meet her father and this BattleChief. I’m assuming that’s them standing next to her? Wait, that can’t be right. The man standing on her left is younger than her. The one on the right is a woman. What? I bet twenty bucks that Daemons do not age. Just a theory, but I’m fairly certain I’m right. I wonder how old they are. Would it be rude to ask? Yeah, it would be rude to ask. We should ask anyways…or trick Volt into asking. But if my theory is correct, then the BattleChief is the woman and that man is her father.
I smile as I walk over and I can’t help but notice that most of the villagers are women. They’re all are ridiculously attractive with silver hair and large, black wings. And, they are all ridiculously tall. In fact, I think Justine is one of the shorter ones! Is this some kind of genetics that Daemons have or are all natives really tall? I should ask Sky later if there is a scientific explanation for why the Daemons are so tall. Anyways, like Justine, all the Daemons look like they are in their early to mid 20s. No way this village is full of 20 year olds. My theory is starting to look more and more plausible. All the Daemons seem to be keeping their distance from the three of us, not wanting to approach us but still want to gawk at us. I kind of feel like I’m a prisoner walking towards the guillotine. Only thing missing are the chains. Oh and the guillotine itself. Sky is flying around above us, circling around the village as it scans the surrounding area. That would probably take awhile. Fortunately, it will be able to hear us even if we whisper. Blake sure knew what she was doing when she designed it and installed a communication link between Sky and our nanites.
The buildings in this village remind me of what I have seen in history books regarding 19th century Japan. The buildings look to be surrounded by trees and blend in with the environments. Doors are made out of what I think is rice paper. I watch as Daemons enter and exit buildings by sliding the doors to the side. I see shoes neatly laid out in front of every building, indicating that Daemons do not wear shoes indoors. Japanese writing on some of the sidings of every building. My translator still isn’t activated yet so I don’t know what the characters say. For all I know, it could be “Shit house.” The buildings all seem to be several feet apart but laid out in a fairly organized, almost militaristic fashion. In the center is the largest building that almost looks like a mini Japanese castle, something that a local governor would live in. At front of it is a pond and I would bet Volt’s next breakfast that there are several different types of fish in there. A bridge extends from the main path to the other side of the pond towards the castle gates. As we are crossing the bridge, I look in the pond and yup, there are fish in there. I win Volt’s breakfast. I should probably let him know…tomorrow morning. In front of those gates stand the three main Daemons. The bitch, the BattleChief, and the “short” man. “Short.” Hmph. He still towers over me.
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“Halt,” the BattleChief cries out when we reach the end of the bridge. Her hand is raised with her palm facing us. “Remain there, aliens. Tell me, how do we know if you are truly aliens and not a Contagion infiltrator?”
The three of us look at each other, unsure how to respond. Well, looks like it’s up to me if nobody will step up to it. I take a step forward and pull off my shirt, causing a murmur to ripple through the onlookers. Yes, my body is very fit and tone, thank you very much. Please, enjoy the show. I start to unbuckle my belt when the ground rumbles, causing all three of us to jump in different directions. Volt dove to the left, Blake dove to right, I jumped back. As we did so, two different spikes shoot up right where I was just standing. I look back at the three Daemons and notice that only the women have their hands raised. Both have breathing heavily in what I assume to be either anger or ecstasy. Let’s go with ecstasy. Pretty sure it’s anger but I’m going with ecstasy. Probably couldn’t handle seeing my penis in all its glory.
“HAHAHAHAHAHA! I think that clearly shows he is not an infiltrator!! HAHAHAHA!! I love this alien!!” The man is laughing so hard that he is crying. I smile as I pick my shirt and put it back on. Volt and Blake approach me at the same time with a tired look on their faces.
“Linds, was that really necessary?” Volt sighs.
“Well, what do you suppose we should’ve done? Yell, ‘We are not Contagion, don’t kill us?’ Cause that is exactly what someone trying to sneak in to infiltrate an enemy base would say.”
“Hun, you could have just cut yourself or something. I bet whatever these Contagions are wouldn’t do that!” Blake counters.
“True,” I agree, “but that would have hurt.”
“More so than getting impaled on spikes?” asks Blake. “I’m pretty sure that would hurt more than getting lightly cut.”
“But I didn’t get impaled!” I beam at her. She throws her hands up in frustration and turns away. Volt on the meanwhile just gives me a tired smile.
"Linds, you could have just said you're not Contagion. They do know when you are lying."
"Oh." I did not think about that. Too late now.
At this point, the three Daemons have reached us. The man is still giggling and wiping away tears. Justine looks like she is fighting the urge to strangle me again. I don’t know why she is so upset. She has already seen me naked. Twice I might add. At least, I think she saw me when I first got out of the pod. The BattleChief, I can understand why she is upset. Sorry madam. Didn’t mean to stir up any tro…is she smiling? Yup. She is smiling. Huh. Guess not all Daemon women have a stick up their ass like one I know. As she approached me I noticed that while she looks older than Justine, she still looks to be in her early 30s. I also notice that her boobs are fairly large. Huh. Well, would you look at those monsters. I look around and ah…most of the Daemon women have big, profound boobs. No wonder Justine was so sensitive when I said “small boobs.” I actually do regret doing that. I was such an ass. Think before you speak, Lindsey.
The BattleChief is wearing what looks like a Viking breast plate. On her left arm she has a small shield strapped to her. On her waist, there is a very dangerous looking mace. I am fairly certain there are some dried blood on there. She really should clean that. That could cause some rust and damage, maybe even destroy her mace. The BattleChief seems to loom over all the other two Daemons. Pretty sure she is 7 feet tall, give or take a few inches. She looks a lot like Justine though. Attractive, flawless skin, silver hair. Only major difference besides the obvious height difference and the slightly older look is that she has bigger boobs than Justine. Aaaaand step to right. Missed me with your wind attack, Justine. You’re way too predictable. Awww, you’re pissed off again. Let’s smile at you and see what happens. Oh look, you’re getting angrier!
“Justine von Gustogh!” the man angrily turns to Justine and looks up at her. Heh, this is a funny sight. He is a slightly portly fellow but still looks like he could rip me in half with his arms. He has on a leather armor and he carries two battle axes at his side. His wings only span 3 feet wide and he is only 5’10”, I think. I’m not very good at judging heights. He’s tall but not as tall as Justine. His silver hair is cut short and but still long enough to be tied into a ponytail, which he is sporting right now. It’s a good look for him. What’s great is that Justine is this tall, Daemon woman and her head is hung low in shame as she is berated by someone smaller than her. I think even her wings have shrunk a bit without retreating into her back. A little man is putting this crazy bitch in her place.
“I did not raise you to attack your guests without provocation! Where is your honor?! Do you intend to dishonor our Clan? Are you trying to bring shameon us?!”
“Apologies, Father,” Justine meekly whispers. Uhh…I’m starting to feel a little bad now. Why am I feeling bad? Wait, seriously. Why am I feeling bad. Argh, this is going to leave a bad taste in my mouth. I better do something.
“Sir? If I may…” I start but am quickly interrupted when Justine’s father turns and bows to me deeply.
“Honored guest! I humbly beg for your forgiveness! My daughter is still young and still needs to control her temper! I apologize for her sudden attack with provocation!” he declares as he reaches up and pulls harshly on Justine’s wing, forcing her to bow too. Wow…uh, kind of hypocritical there considering you JUST let her and your BattleChief attack me when I was taking my clothes off. I mean, for all you know, I was just hot and needed to cool off. Cool off…hmm
“Sir, your daughter was actually helping me just now,” I explain. At this, Justine, her father, and the BattleChief look at me confused. “See, I was getting a little warm just then. Where I come from, it is a bit cooler there…you’re not buying this for a second are you?” They shake their heads at me. Okay then, change of strategies.
“See, what I meant to say was your daughter helped me practice avoiding your…abilities. I didn’t want to say this before out of envy, but on my planet, nobody can manipulate the elements like you do. We don’t…feel them the way you do. Justine, in her kindness, helped me experience that.”
I think that confused them even more. After all, what I said wasn’t a lie, but a half truth. Justine, that bitch, was most definitely not helping me experience her abilities out of the kindness of her heart, if she even has a heart. But, because she has attacked me so many times, I did get a lot of “practice” from that and quickly learned how to avoid her attacks. She did give me plenty of “experiences” after all. And she was kind in that she did feed me that delicious deezard. To her credit, she didn’t have to do that. I’m not sure how Daemons detect lies but I’m fairly sure that there were no true lies in my explanation there. As if to confirm my suspicions, Justine’s father nods at me and let goes of Justine. Surprised, Justine quickly stands straight up and looks at me funny. Highly doubt there is any gratitude there but whatever. I felt bad for some reason and decided to help.
“In all my years as BattleChief, I have never seen anyone so skillfully manipulate the truth as well as you did, honored guest,” the BattleChief smiles at me. “Biran, what say you?”
Justine’s father, Biran, oh thank god you guys finally gave me his name. I was so tired of referring to him as Justine’s father. Seriously, do you know how exhausting that was? Justine’s father says this. Justine’s father did that. Justine’s father is going to drive Lindsey way past the breaking point if they don’t hurry up and give me his name!! Anyways, Biran shakes his head and proclaims, “Never in all my 423 years on Erde have I ever been so confused by the truth.”
“423 years?!” Blake exclaims. “How long are your lifespans?!”
The BattleChief looks at Blake and seems to be analyzing her. Yes, Blake is also very pretty and she looks different from you Miss BattleChief. Can you answer the question already? We’re dying to know here. “Daemons and Daimons can both live up to 900 years. I, myself am 498 years old. My husband, as you heard, is 423 years. Our daughter is quite young and only 106. That is why she is so immature”
Yeah, 106 isn’t young. Just saying. I mean, she has to the mental age of a 6-year-old, that’s for sure. Quick tempered and all. Throwing tantrums. Just overall being an annoying bitch. And then crying when she is in trouble. Well, to her credit, she didn’t cry but I’m going to pretend she did. Yeah. She totally cried.
“Mother, I am an adult. Please do not treat me as child still,” Justine pouts.
“An adult in age and mind, maybe. But not in attitude,” Biran sternly states. I swear Justine just shrunk a little. Is she trying to hide behind her father? Yeah, not going to work. You kind of tower over him.
“Enough of this. Please, come inside. We would very much like to speak with you but I am sure you three are exhausted with everything that has happened to you. And please call your fascinating bird. I would very much like to examine it if you would allow me,” the BattleChief says as she beckons us to enter her castle.
I hope she has cookies.
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