Chapter 08 – My Remorse and Tears

I stopped meditating after Lucy woke up. She was a little bit strange, she didn't talk to me even when I told her about my plan to take control of the camp and improve this city after cleaning it up. I'm starting to think that maybe she is hiding something from me, aside from her secret about her transformation. This could get ugly because I hate it when people lie to me. The look that she gives me is different from yesterday, aside from indifference and a little fear; I can see some pity in it. I wonder why, I must clear up this subject.

"Why do you look at me with that kind of gaze?" I asked her in a suspicious tone.

"So you noticed, I thought that I deceived you and that you won’t find out. Anyway, I've had my suspicions since we first met, but after your little 'game' yesterday, I'm finally sure of it. You aren't human anymore, right? I think that you bought a bloodline from the System" She said in a strange voice.

"You're right about that, but what does that have to do with your gaze?" I asked again urging her to get to the point.

I was a little shocked when she deduced that much; it seems that she's quite intelligent, it could become troublesome in the future if I don’t know how to deal with her.

"As I thought, you're not aware of it at all. *Sigh*." She replied.

I felt annoyed at her dodging of the purpose of her speech so I urged her to just say it.

"You, you're not human anymore. Even if you were bullied by those students, even if you held a grudge, the Chris that I know would never do that kind of thing, you even got innocent students involved in it. Also, you've been acting as if it is the most casual thing to do that. It was as if you were a beast that thought it is the most normal thing to do."

Huh? What is this girl talking about? It's true that my Bloodline is of a Dragon now, but I'm still perfectly human. I also don’t feel any changes, what the fuck does she mean by her words?

"On top that, you killed your best friend Jack without any remorse. That's not a thing a human would do, hell even the previous you with your dampened emotions wouldn’t fall that much"

"Shut up..." I murmured, but that didn’t stop her from continuing.

"I'm pretty sure that you didn't kill me the moment you saw me because the last bit of humanity in you kept nudging you to take me as leverage so you won’t kill people indiscriminately, but it seems that even with me, you suppressed that side and your beast instincts took over you."

"Humanity? Leverage? What the fuck are you talking about?" I said in a confused and angry tone.

"You know, when I saw you torturing those innocent students, I felt pity and sadness for you. Even if you were a little strange before, you were never like this. The previous you would be ashamed of what you are doing, you were evil and cold-hearted, that's true, but you were never like this, you knew when to stop. I feel disgusted seeing you like..."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH" I yelled with a furious voice.

I instantly dragon formed and proceeded to attack her, but just as I was about to rip her head off, I stopped. I didn't know what, but something made me go back to my human form. I felt something wet on my cheeks and as I touched it, it felt like tears, but not normal tears though. They were tears of blood. It seemed like my humanity went out with these tears, it felt as if my last human blood that tried to keep me controlled finally failed and was ejaculated out of my body. It was a really bad feeling and I couldn’t endure it anymore.

I looked up to Lucy and I found that she was looking at me with eyes full of pity and regret. What's with those eyes? I hate them! Don't look at me with that gaze. I fainted and lost my consciousness with that.

I had the most terrifying nightmare in my life, all those kids haunted me telling me that it's my fault that they died, which it is. I felt really scared, I didn't think that the things I did would lead to these kind of consequences. I don’t want to be here, I’m scared, get away from me!

Right then, I heard a voice in my head, a very familiar one. It was the voice of the person who is the cause of all of this.

"Hello, kid. Have you thought well of the consequences of your actions?"

"You knew that this was going to happen, right? You knew that I wouldn't be able to control my beast instincts."

"Yes, I did, I even prepared that girl for you to keep you in check in the future"

"Lucy? What's with that? Explain yourself"

"I asked one of my old friends to give her his blessing, you should ask her for more details, I was the one who made her stay in that toilet and made her use that spell to lure you out, of course she didn't know about that, she doesn't even know about me"

I felt shocked when I heard him talk about that, I didn't even notice something amiss about it. However, now that I think about it, why did she just stay in the bathroom? Why couldn't she just go and personally slay Patrick? That should’ve been the normal thing that someone who wants revenge would do. It seems that I've gotten quite stupid because of my transformation.

"Thank you, 'Zeus'. I really appreciate your help. Ah! Now that I remember it, what's with that Quest!? Why the fuck do you want me to conquer 10 worlds?"

"Hahahaha, you surely change fast, kid. About that Quest, I don't want to reveal much about it, but I'll tell you only this: That quest has to do with your Cultivation. When you break through to the next stage, you'll understand what I mean."

After he finished his last sentence, I abruptly opened my eyes and found myself laying on something soft, very soft. It was a really comfortable feeling and most of all, it was extremely warm, and I felt that if I could stay like this forever, I would be satisfied. I looked up and what appeared before me was Lucy’s face. It seems that I was lying on her lap.

"I'm back" I said with a smile on my face and she also responded with her own.

"Welcome home"

[Author: I wrote about this thinking of the famous Japanese saying 'Okairi' and 'Tadaima']

Now that I'm clear-headed, I can understand the reasonableness of my actions. I really feel bad now that I knew what my actions lead to. I should make it up for them, at least for Jack, the other guys deserved it.

"Thank you, Lucy. You really helped me this time“ I thanked her sincerely

"Don't worry about it. It's a companion's job to help his friends" She replied with a smile.

Companion, huh?. I felt a little dissatisfied with that word. Maybe now I'm falling for her, no I'm sure that I did. I wonder how the monster me could even feel love. I’m also sure that she has some feelings for me. After all, nobody would risk their life to help someone who they didn't interact with that much.

"I should really make it up for Jack. I thought about it and the best way that came to my mind is that I would turn him into a high level Undead with Necromancy Magic" I told Lucy about my plans.

"You're free to do whatever you want; I'll respect your choices." She replied.

After that, I went near the corpses of the students lying in the courtyard after I assembled all of our camping tools.

Strangely enough, I didn't feel disgusted at all and I'm a little grateful for that since this is going to happen a lot in the future, after all, you can't survive in this world without cruelty and coldness. I quickly found Jack's corpse because it was the least deformed and then, I touched his body and activated 'Rise Undead: Wight'

Wights are like Undead nobles, they are more powerful than normal Ghouls or Skeletons. I thought of making him a 'Lich', but I refrained from doing that because of his 'Assassin' class. I didn't know if it would be given to his Undead body, but better be safe than sorry.

If some of you wondered how I knew about his class, I used 'Analyze' on him. I didn't know if it would work, but I tried it on him and it really did. It seems that yesterday I was so excited that I forgot to check Lucy's Status.

Anyway, after I casted the magic, Jack's body began to change and all of his skin and muscles peeled off. What remained were just bones, but the transformation didn’t stop at that point; his bones began to change to green indicating that they were poisonous and green orbs of light replaced his eyes. It was a little bit frightening since they were the only light that shone in those dark ominous eye sockets of his.

I didn't know why did that happen, but it’s not important for now, I’m sure that it is a part of his new body. Jack then rose from the ground and looked at us; his gaze seemed to penetrate into our souls. Lucy was even trembling a little bit from fear, I wonder if his pressure is that strong, I don’t feel it at all. Anyway, I said to the recently risen Undead in front of me.

"Welcome back, Jack. How does it feel to be alive again?"