《I Am the "God of Death", Whatever That Means. (Original)》Vert tries to cook. Chapter 50.
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Vert wakes up due to the stirring around of the person sleeping next to him. Vert turns his head to the right and can see Cynthia's back in the sunlight. She seems to be having a nightmare as she is beginning to sweat. Cynthia mumbles something in her sleep but it is too unintelligible for Vert to understand what she is saying. Vert puts his arms into the air and lets out an audible yawn. He sits up and his back cracks a few times. Vert cracks some more bones in his body and then he finally takes a look in the room.
The floor is littered with currencies, sword, armor, and some stuff that Vert doesn't even know what it does. Astral must've found a lot of bandits for him to bring all this loot back to the house. Vert goes off the right side of the bed so he doesn't wake up Cynthia and he stands in a spot that is actually free. There is a window besides Vert and looks out of it to see the sun just rising in the distance.
Puddles glisten in the muddy roads, the grass reflects a beautiful shine from its dew and smoke rises from the chimneys of a few houses. Everything is still and silent, like a painted picture and Vert takes the time to enjoy since he doesn't know when he'll get the chance to again. Vert turns around to Cynthia and can see she seems to still be having bad dreams and Vert feels bad for her. He wants to do something nice for her and one idea comes to mind.
Vert makes his mind up and starts his way through the sea of treasures Astral has left him. He manages to only step on a few coins and not wake Cynthia. Finally out of the room, Vert makes his way downstairs and can see Astral sitting on the couch. He is asleep as well and Vert quietly makes his way to the kitchen.
Inside of the kitchen, Vert looks around for ingredients to make Cynthia some breakfast. Vert hardly remembers how to cook but he does remember some simple things so he is hoping for certain items are laying around. A large container catches Vert's eye and he opens it to have his face be met with a cold breeze. In Vert's old world this would be called a freezer but he doesn't know what they call it here. What looks to be magical ice sits at the bottom, keeping all of the objects inside completely frozen.
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Vert looks through all of the frozen contents and manages to find mainly meat and some eggs. The eggs vary in size and Vert randomly takes two medium sized ones and a large chunk of meat. Taking the meat and eggs over to the counter, Vert puts them down and looks for a plate. Vert manages to find a glass plate in a cabinet and he also puts it on the counter. Vert can see a fireplace over in the corner of the room and he assumes that this is the place to cook food.
With a flick of the wrist and a bright flash, the fire place is roaring with flames from the lightning shot from Vert's hand. Vert then looks around for something to cook the eggs and meat on. Looking everywhere, Vert unable to find anything of the sort and becomes slightly frustrated. He decides that he doesn't need anything like a pan or a grill and that all he needs is his hands.
Take the meat into his hands, Vert takes it over the fire and dangles it as it thaws out. As drips of water come off the meat from being frozen, Vert begins to hum a soft tune. Vert hums an Italian tune called "Papa l'americano", or better know as We No Speak Americano by Yolanda be Cool. Vert hums the song with a peppy voice as he waits for the food to cook.
Blood drips from the meat as Vert becomes increasingly bored with cooking. He never had to cook for himself in this new world so he hardly knows what is tasty or not. Soon the meat becomes a a light brown and the smell of fresh meat permeates into the air. Vert can hear footsteps coming towards the kitchen and he holds his breath, hoping it's not Cynthia. Astral comes into view and Vert lets out an elongated sigh of relief.
Astral looks confused when he sees his master hunched over with a piece of meat dangling in his hand over a fire. Astral shakes his head and laughs at Vert. Vert looks betrayed as Astral begins to laugh louder and louder.
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"What's so funny?" Vert says.
"You might be my Master... but you obviously can't cook." Astral says though his laughter.
"What makes you say that?"
"The fact your meat is on fire."
Vert's head shoots towards his hand and sees that the meat he was cooking is basically sitting in the fire at this point and has caught on fire. Vert takes the meat away from the fire and begins to flail it in the air to put out the fire. Astral watches as juices from the meat get flung all over the place and the fire on the meat doesn't seem to be going out.
"Why are you cooking anyways?" Astral asks nonchalantly. "I thought Gods don't have to eat?"
"Well, they don't," Vert says as he continues flailing his meat around. "I am making it for Cynthia, she seems to be stressed out and I wanted to make her breakfast."
The fire has finally gone out but most of the meat has turned a charred black but Vert seems happy with himself. He sets the meat down onto the plate and then picks up the two eggs he placed on the counter. He cracks them open with his fingers and the yolks slide out of the shell and plops down onto the plate.
Astral stands there, dumbfounded and disgusted. Vert on the other hand seems pretty proud of himself.
"What a wonderful breakfast," Vert says confidently. "I should cook more often."
Astral comes up behind Vert and puts a hand on his shoulder and then points to the plate of food.
"That... That is not edible." Astral says to tell Vert the truth. Vert seems to be in disbelief and decides to show Astral he is wrong.
"Sure it is! Go ahead and try it Astral." The shade looks horrified as his body moves on his own and grabs a fork from the drawer. He is shaking as the fork goes down onto the raw egg yolk. A squishing sound is heard as the fork picks up the raw yolk and goes towards Astral mouth. Astral's head is shaking as the egg yolk comes closer and closer, ensuring his doom. Vert has a wide smile on his face as he expects to prove Astral wrong. Astral's mouth open wides and the egg goes down the hatch. Astral is barely able to swallow when he gives Vert a betrayed face.
"Why... Why did you make me does this?" Astral says as before he ultimately throws up into the nearest sink. Vert watches Astral throw up and puts a hand on his chin.
'Where did I go wrong?' Vert thinks to himself. Once done throwing up, Astral opens a window and grabs the plate of food Vert made. Astral proceeds to throw the food and plate out the window. Astral turns around and looks Vert into the eyes.
"Never cook again. If you want something made, just ask me. I am a decent cook." Astral says and Vert looks out the window to see his masterpiece lying on the ground, ruined. Vert sighs defeatedly and counts his loses while he can.
"Fine. Please make Cynthia some breakfast." Vert says with a depressed tone. Astral smiles and goes for some food from the freezer.
"Will do master."
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