《A Wicked Tale Of Witches, Wands, Booze, and Swagger》Chapter 24

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666

Chapter 24

666

I slapped my forehead again.

So stupid.

Fucking hormones.

Hermione groaned into her pillow as she slept naked next to me. I had spent all night crafting memories and inserting them in Hermione's head. Wicked memories. Memories of our recent orgy with Marla as she took Marla's virginity with a makeshift bedpost dildo and egged me on while I plowed into Hermione from behind. She would wake up feeling guilt ridden and upset with herself most likely.

I had spent all night preparing the false memories of her thoughts and emotions as the view of Marla's masturbation turning her on too much to contain herself. I had implanted the memory of me returning with only a single Wookie scientist after an unsuccessful hunt of the needed scientists from Kessel, only to find her in bed with Marla.

I made her think she had convinced me to join.

I'd taken Hermione's virginity as she slept for added proof. I hadn't enjoyed it. Skinny, bucktoothed Hermione was not my type. I preferred big fat Marla's round and muscular body far more. I felt a little sick with myself for my actions before the weed took away the lingering feelings of guilt over my betrayal.

Marla lay in my bed with Hermione and I. She was naked as she sucked on her thumb and looked up at me as I rolled us another joint. I was sitting up in the large bed as I absently looked over my information on Jedi again over the holo-net on the datapad on my lap and frowned. There was something eerily familiar about them.

There was something eerily familiar about the Wookies.

There was something familiar about the Republic.

I was racking my mind for the answer as I lit the joint and passed it to Marla. I rolled my own joint as I scrolled through the same sparse texts written about the Jedi. I finally found something new about them. A new holo-vid of one of them in a fight with separatist droids.

I lit up my second joint of the hour and pushed play.

A very familiar figure walked into a room with his laser-sword lit, deflecting blaster bolts left and right. I pushed pause on the video as an epiphany hit me. I stopped the video and zoomed in on the Jedi's face. I felt my heart-beat speed up as I realized what an idiot I was.

Hayden Christensen's face looked back at me.

“Son of a bitch!” I yelled.

Hermione jerked up in bed and looked around in alarm. “Whats happened?” She asked in a funny tone of voice. “Did we really...” She trailed off as my mind whirled.

None of the posts on the holo-net mentioned laser-swords in them. None of the posts were in English either. I had a Clawdite's understanding of Galactic Basic and Huttese.

Jedi in English was not Jedi in Galactic Basic.

Coruscant in English was not the same either.

I knew where we were!

Star Wars!

I was in another Universe... Or at least a long, long, time ago, in a galaxy far away.

How could I not figure that out? All I had to really go on were the memories of a lone freighter captain and an isolated alien brood-mare to guide me on my location. Neither of them had known jack-shit about Jedi. Neither of them knew diddly squat about lightsabers.

I slapped my forehead again and groaned.

“Was I that bad?” Hermione asked in a teary voice. “I feel so bad about what I did to Marla. I just couldn't stop myself. It was like I was another person.” Hermione began to sob. “I'm so sorry I dragged you into this, Draco.”

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“No, No, Hermione.” I assured her. “You were good.” I smiled down at her as I inhaled most of the joint in one quick breath. “Marla enjoyed herself. Didn't you Marla?” I looked at the red eyed Mardukan.

She nodded. “Feel good more.” She begged.

“Later.” I promised. I finished off the joint and still felt the need to calm down.

“I'm so sorry.” Hermione continued to sob as I rose from the bed. “I'm so sorry.” She appeared to be having a mental breakdown.

I went over to my magically expanded chest of drawers and dug around. I came up with a purple box of weed that read 'In case of emergency, smoke.' I opened the little purple colored plastic box and removed the priceless bud from within.

It was an original strain of Purple Haze.

I carefully loaded it into a volcano vaporizer and filled a gas-bag full of it's sweet smoke. I stuck the gas-bag's mouthpiece into Hermione's hysterically sobbing mouth. I slapped her to get her attention. “Breathe in through your mouth and out from your nose.”

I felt numb as I loaded another bag for Marla and I. I didn't know what to think. “This is so fucked up.” I complained to the ceiling as I passed the gas-bag to Marla. Marla took two hits before her red eyes drooped shut. I cleared the rest of the bag as Hermione began to calm down.

My numbness turned to elation as I thought about all the things I knew about the universe I now inhabited. There was no hope of me ever conquering this Galaxy, even with magic, so I wasn't going to even try. However, there was much to be learned from such a place.

Droid construction. Lightsabers. Cloning. Lightsabers. Matter to energy and energy to matter conversions. Lightsabers...

I wondered if Jedi were actually wizards. I wondered if I possessed midi-chlorians. I was so stupid not to realize where I was earlier than the month it took me. I loved Star Wars, though I wasn't happy to travel through a black hole to get here.

“We really had sex, Draco?” Hermione sounded stunned and delighted. “I could be pregnant!” She exclaimed.

I sat stunned as a thought occurred to me. I turned my grimace into a smile as I turned to face Hermione. “We can only hope, right.” I thought back to taking the unconscious Hermione's maiden-head with the bedpost. I sure as hell didn't get her pregnant this time.

Hermione had tears still on her cheeks as she smiled up at me. “Yeah.” She said dreamily. “I've always wanted to have your babies, Draco.”

“I'm sure you will.”

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Hermione finished chanting the ritual's words as she slid the ritual knife across the Cherriwock's throat. She grunted and held her head as she recoiled from the intense pressure as the memories and knowledge of an expert in anti-matter and hyperspace aeronautics met his end in the ritual's pentagram. She smiled wickedly as her head cleared of the pain of assimilation.

“He had multiple bank accounts the Republic's Arbiters couldn't trace. He ran an interplanetary smuggling ring on top of his job as a professor of hyperspace aeronautics.” Hermione said with a grin. Jump-starting her sexuality had awakened something in Hermione. She was growing more ruthless, like I was, already. “We're rich!” She proclaimed.

I shook my head ruefully. “I don't think a few credits on top of our limitless gold will make much of a difference, Hermione.” I gestured at my head. “Now transfer the memories, already. I really want to get out of here.” I felt uncomfortable next to any prisons. This whole planet was one big prison. “Kessel gives me the creeps.” I admitted.

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Hermione raised her wand and pointed it at my head. “In the words of a once great wizard. This is going to sting a bit.” She pronounced before a silver arc of light came sizzling at my head.

I gripped my head in pain as memories of a lifetime assaulted my senses all at once.

I was Cherriwock, 383 years old, and one of the few Wookies to graduate from a formal academy of science. I found the primitive life to be insulting, so I taught myself anti-matter physics for a job at the local power-plant. I saved all my earning for 28 years. I invested it in renting a small freighter and bought some black market anti-matter on Nar-Shadda and took it back to Kashyyyk for sale to my clan.

I remember teaching my sisters how to build an anti-matter annihilation plant. We sold the energy cheaply, and drove the Wryyyk clan out of the energy business of north-western Kashyyyk. I used the profits to hire more freighter captains to import anti-matter to other planets.

Then I started moving spice. Followed by chop-shopped droids before finally moving on to death-sticks and slaves.

I became utterly rich and sent myself to school on Corellia. I became a respected staff member of the Academy of Science on Corellia.

I remember running from the home-world police as they finally tracked the source of the local death-stick trade back to me. I ripped the arms off one law officer and beat two others to death with them. I really didn't want to be caught.

I remembered the cold mines of Kessel. I remembered eating spiders and dead miners to survive before I turned to stealing and banded together with another group of Wookies. I met my mate there.

I remember running through the halls of some strange prison made of some primitive form of plasteel with my mate. We made love together one last time before I appeared on the floor, immobilized, below a glowing and chanting young human girl with a knife in her hand. I felt fear and agony as the knife sliced through my neck.

Shaking my head to clear it from the deluge of memories, I glared at Hermione. “I didn't need that much information, thank you” I rubbed my neck as the memory of Hermione slicing my throat replayed itself in my mind.

Hermione flashed an impish grin. “I'll make sure to leave out the nastier stuff next time.” She said.

I shook my head. “No, just leave out the part with you cutting his throat, woman!” My glared softened as I rubbed my neck. “That shit hurts and the memory isn't pleasant.” I added.

Hermione nodded. “So what are you going to do with the female?” Hermione inquired as she pointed at the little doll-house sitting on the bookshelf. “She is going to starve to death soon.”

I shrugged. “I was planning on giving her to Marla as a teddy bear when she gets big enough to handle it.” I said with a shrug.

Hermione laughed. “You could just shrink the Wookie to size and then give it to her, you know.”

I shrugged again and nodded. “Good idea.” I summoned the female Wookie out of the doll-house and cast a spell at it.

“Imperio!”

I undid the shrinking charm. And watched the Wookie grow to tower over Hermione and I at a whopping 7 and a half feet tall. I could see her belly was swollen. “I think its pregnant.” I pointed out. I hadn't noticed before.

Hermione shrugged. “We can take care of it.” Hermione pulled her wand and gestured at the Wookie standing over it's mate's bloody corpse.

I nodded. “Go ahead.” It was one of the first spells learned in dark arts class. The contraception charm, also known as the abortion curse...

Hermione cast the abortion spell with a flourish of her wand. Blood and tissue began to leak down the creature's furry legs in a torrent of gore. I covered my nose at the smell. “Ewww Hermione.” I looked at the little fetal thing connected to it's mother with a thin umbilical cord. “Thats gross.” Slime and bloody tissue continued to pour out of the now swaying Wookie.

Hermione laughed. She had become a different person over the last couple of days. “You think this is gross, just you wait.” She pronounced. “I'm sure I can do something even grosser soon enough.” She had a grin on her face. She was picking up my habit of smiling at everything now. “I finally know where we're going.”

I smirked. “Figured out where we're tunneling to have you?” I asked.

She nodded. “There is only one place you could be heading with this course.” She pulled out her data-pad and looked at it. “Though Merlin knows why you want to go to Dantooine of all places.” She scrolled through the data-pad. “It's just ruins of a small Republic colony and an ancient Jedi temple destroyed right after the Great Hyperspace War between the Sith and the Jedi. There isn't much to see.”

I flashed her a grin. “Oh, you'll see soon enough Hermione.”

I thought of the 30,000 year old ruins I yearned to visit.

“Soon enough.” I muttered to myself.

666

Hermione began working on a new tunneling rune array, based on the principles of hyperspace physics as I watched over *cough*Fucked*Cough* Marla or meditated. Hermione was better at tunneling than I was, though I would have to read her notes to understand her work. I wanted to understand any changes we made to our ship, intimately.

Marla loved her little living teddy bear. I'd shrunken it to be around three feet tall. It had orders to Follow Marla around and to do as she said. It understood Basic well enough, and thats all Marla spoke. It was really cute, with it's warm fluffy fur and flat snout.

Marla herself was growing very fast and was packing on the pounds. Her rolls of fat had rolls of fat and her ass was as wider than a horse's. She was around 10 feet tall and could now take my entire

Yeti cock inside herself, to her delight. With huge titties on her chest, Marla was a perfect fat hourglass figure of blue fur and flesh.

I had shrunken Hermione's front teeth a little and put a weight gaining curse on her before we 'got it on' every night to make her more attractive. Surprisingly it worked. At 5'2 and 200lbs, Hermione was very fuck-able. She now knew I was into bigger girls and ensured she ate enough to continue to gain weight naturally. She was slightly pear shaped when she was fat, as she had yet to grow tits of any real size, yet.

We made it to Dantooine in three weeks. I continued to hybridize and expand my weed greenhouses during the trip. Marla began to help me clone best females and prune the best male plants. I was trying to keep as much biodiversity as possible while also improving the THC content.

Soon enough we were orbiting the planet. It was a gray ball of rock and craters. It reminded me of Earth's moon, only with a breathable atmosphere.

“Do you see any names down there?” I asked Hermione as she looked over the map covering the walls of the navigation room. “I don't want any surprises.”

“A few thousand.” Hermione looked back at me over her shoulder. “A bunch of funny serial number names like CT-15468462, and one other called Mace Windu.” She looked back at the wall. “They are all grouped together in what looks like a fortress on the northern pole of the planet.”

I grimaced. Mace Windu and a few thousand clones. My estimate of wizards needed to beat that number of clones and Mace Windu on top of it was not very comforting. I resolved to avoid the north pole or anywhere around it.

“You are coming with me this time.” I told her. “The elves can make sure that Marla doesn't get into trouble while we're gone.” I looked behind me to see One nodding. “You and two through nine are coming too, just in case.”

One grinned. “I hope there is something for us to kill, sir.”

I looked at the map of the barren world. “I doubt it, but I can never be too prepared.” I nodded at a set of ruins visible just along the equator. Of the planet. “The records put the old temple around here. We will begin our search there.” I pronounced.

Hermione smiled over her shoulder. “I've been waiting for ages for a good fight. I haven't dueled anyone since we left Durmstrang.” She was looking forward to fights now? What had I done to her mind to change it so much?

“One, go get your squad suited in your armor and make sure to bring your blasters.” I ordered.

“They are ready already, sir.” One informed me as soon as I finished speaking. “They were listening to you saying they was going and is already suited up in armor, sir.” One spoke in his usual accent of mangling of the English language.

“Get your broom, Hermione.” I said. I turned to look at One. “You guys are going to follow on magic carpets. Fire-teams one and two on separate carpets.”

“Get my broom, One.” Hermione ordered without turning around. I like her new attitude. Before I fucked with her head, she would have jumped up and gotten her broom herself. I felt a little bit of pride as One snapped his fingers and Hermione's broom appeared in her outstretched hand.

I lifted Hermione's hand and took it in my own. I gave it a squeeze and then apperated us both into the lower atmosphere of Dantooine. We appeared in free-fall. I pulled my broom up under my legs to steady my descent as Hermione did the same. We came soaring down over a circular compound. Half melted walls stood vitrified and worn by the wind and infrequent rain of 4000 years.

Hermione and I circled around the area as the house elves popped in on two large flying carpets. The little elves were covered head to toe in enchanted dragonhide quidditch padding. They all clutched a blaster of some kind or another, though they all preferred to kill with knives.

I circled the compound for awhile While considering if I really wanted to find what I sought.

“Point me, Rakatan ruins.” My wand spun for a moment before pointing due north.

“Fuck!” I cursed. The Jedi and clones were in that direction. “All of you, follow me.”

“I hope we get to kill something.” I heard Hermione sigh. “I'm really bored cooped up in the ship all the time, working on science projects.”

“I'm sure there will be an opportunity, Hermione.” I replied. “Stay low!” I told the elves.

“Yes, sir!” They chorused.

We followed my wand, flying over ancient craters and valleys where rivers once flowed. There was very little to look at on the way to the ruins.

“We're getting close to the Republic outpost, Draco.” Hermione alerted me. “We need to be careful. They might detect us flying like we are, even as low as this.”

“We're going to those ruins, even if we have to kill every clone on this planet.” I retorted. “It has invaluable information inside.

I could see Hermione shiver beside me. “That sounds like a fun time.” She grinned. “I've never been muggle hunting before.”

“The Jedi aren't muggles, and the clones carry blasters that can break our shields in a few shots, Hermione. These aren't muggles you want to hunt.” I heard a siren begin to wail in the distance.

We soon came in sight of the Republic outpost. “Disillusionment spells up.” I called out. “We don't need them seeing us.”

We flew low over the camp. As we passed it, my wand reversed directions to point directly at the military installation. “Looks like you were right Hermione.” I sighed. “We may have to start killing them.”

The clones began to scatter in all directions as we circled back over the camp. There were a few dozen LAATs parked next to a large square durasteel building. The building was covered in mounted laser-cannon turrets. The area in front of the large square fortress was covered in rows of hundreds of white tents and a pile of rubble in the center.

My wand pointed directly at the the rubble. “Dammit” I cursed again. “We need to clear out these clones and take care of the Jedi.” I looked at where I saw the shifting outline of Hermione on her broom. “Get ready for a fight.”

As the clones took up defensive positions around the durasteel building, I studied them. They appeared to be in spotless and shiny new white plasteel armor. It gleamed in the dim sunlight. “We need to repair that rubble and get into it without the clones or the Jedi interfering.”

I floated over to the the square and windowless building. Clones scurried atop it as they strapped into the turrets. I figured they had detected us and prepared to shield the moment one of them started to point in my direction.

“Draco.” Hermione got my attention. “Look up. Theres something up there.”

I stopped studying the clones down below as a siren began to wail from the building. There were glowing orange balls of light in the sky. Ships were descending from orbit. “Oh shit.” I looked back down. Samuel L. Jackson's look-alike stood on the roof, purple lightsaber glowing as he glared up in my direction.

“We are well defended, Sith!” He yelled suddenly. “Do you think I can't sense the darkness when it is so near? Your droid army will not defeat us!”

The turrets began to turn in the sky's direction. I needed a plan before they began to fire on us. “Reveal yourself, surrender, and I will spare your life!” He shouted again.

This was my chance! I dropped the disillusionment spell. Windu jerked back as I faded into view.

“I'm no Sith.” I called down. “And I have no quarrel with you or your clones, Jedi.”

Hermione appeared visible beside me. I saw Windu bodily flinch once more as we performed magic in front of the Wizard, of this universe, for the first time.

“You twist the Force and bend it to your will, younglings.” Windu called up at us. “You walk a dark path, bending the Force to your will as you do.”

“It's magic, not the force, Master Jedi.” I yelled back as the wind began to howl around Hermione and I. “Like I said. We have no quarrel with you. We simply want to inspect the ruins over there.” I pointed to the rubble.

My mind whirled as I considered what the best way to block multiple laser-cannon shots at once. I started to sweat as I realized just how fuck I was. I had depended on the disillusionment charm too much.

“You will be taken into custody and appear in front of the Jedi Council to explain your use of...” Windu paused “dark magic.” Windu lowered his raised lightsaber as he if he didn't consider us a threat. It was a little insulting to be dismissed because of my age in such a way. “Fly your craft down here, you are in the way of firing on the Separatist army that is following you.”

I looked up at the sky and saw even more glowing dots on the horizon. I looked back at Windu. “I give you to the count of three to get down here, before we begin to fire.”

I looked over at Hermione. She looked as nervous as I felt.

“One.” Windu raised his arm in the air.

“We aren't going to surrender, are we, Draco?” She asked.

“Two.” I shook my head.

“Follow me.” I called. I looked over my shoulder and hoped the elves got out of the way.

“Three.” I started flying downwards at an angle, away from the laser turret's field of fire. I felt the howling wind in my face as I pushed the broom's acceleration to it's limit. Hermione followed me closely.

“Fire!” The crazy bastard brought his arm down as he yelled the order.

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