《Battlefront》need feedback
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Hello readers. Before i proceed any further, i want to know how coherent is my story telling? Does it have any semblance to an organized story? Do you think i am missing the fundamental background building?
Though i did ask this question previously and did get feedback(I am happy for the advice) it is still not enough.
So Please! Tell me what you think.
Even if you completely bash the story i am fine with it.
Give me your feedback.
It will be much appreciated.
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- In Serial158 Chapters
The Misplaced Dungeon
The gods on four worlds were in trouble, or rather the clique that had taken over those worlds development and refused to listen to the established but less powerful gods already in power were in trouble. Their mismanagement was causing four previously lush and pleasant worlds to become harsh and inhospitable. So taking another leaf out of world building 301 they arbitrarily decided to seed the worlds in question with new dungeons they could control or at least influence. One fine day Azurea, self declared Goddess of dungeons on those four worlds discovered a fascinating world; it was teeming with life, literally overburdened with teeming billions of sophonts. Even better in her view many were atheists and due to the rapidly expanding population many of those were brand new souls. So without further ado she soulnapped one hundred of them for her cliques experiment. This is the story of one of the randomly selected beings, a sixteen year old girl with anger management issues, in fact Mary Silvestre has been diagnosed a borderline psychopath by a lazy school system. NB: This story uses UK English spelling.
8 196 - In Serial58 Chapters
Memento Mori
After seven years of searching for her sister, Embla came up with nothing. Absolutely nothing. She thought that was it. However, one day, she encountered a request from a no-name party named Memento Mori. A request that would change her path forever. Now with wiki that is currently being updated! https://memento-mori.fandom.com/wiki/Memento_Mori_Wiki
8 98 - In Serial42 Chapters
The Happy Village
Note: This story has ended. This is not the final version since it needs a lot of revisions, so this is a testing ground for a newbie like me. Note 2: This novel is also posted on justlightnovels.com. Surrounded by the beauty and grace of Mother Nature, there lies a little village. In serenity the villagers live without much worries except for their jobs and personal lives - after all, there seems to be no major problem at first. Everybody is happy, everybody is well. That goes the same for two girls, Neha and Sachen, who are friends since childhood, and who believe that they will stick with each other forever. But one day, the High Order of the Celestials announces that the gods are angry at the village due to the rise of sin and corruption. They will take extensive measures to ensure the village’s survival, though for the girls, things are not what they seem. A series of events will forever condemn the girls in agony and sorrow, and will tear apart their little hearts. Illustration from book cover belongs to: Kobuta. “innocent girls.” Artwork. 14 December 2017. 23:10. PIXIV. https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=66291601 © 2018 SlimJim. All Rights Reserved.
8 129 - In Serial8 Chapters
Nirvana
In the world's top resort super-metropolis you can fulfill your craziest desires. If you have the credits and know where to go, you can do anything. This resort was built by two global corporations for the sole purpose of realizing the dreams of the rich and famous.... or so it seems. But not all is as it seems from the outside. Follow the Retainer Emma Foley down the rabbit hole that is Nirvana. Is this a playground for the grown up, or is there something else going on under the shiny surface. Discover what is means to bite off more than you can chew and follow along as Emma tracks down something sinister that seems prepared to bring Nirvana to it's knees...or at least out of the skies.
8 99 - In Serial43 Chapters
King of Freaks ✔
#28 Highest Ranking In Teen Fiction 3/31/2017Previously known as "Eliazer King" | Not your cliché Teen Fiction storyIt's funny how one flaw can bring down a person's entire status of physical attractiveness, that goes for Eliazer King who is without a doubt an attractive individual. Unfortunately, mankind doesn't think he's irresistibly gorgeous at all.Eliazer King is an abnegation to society because of one, simple flaw. Eliazer's right eye compared to that of a demonic child- frightening and disturbing. His right eye is as white as a pearl and that blemish is the only reason why people think of him as an oddity and embarrassment.Being a lone wolf is something he experienced for as long as he can remember because of his given imperfection. Poor Eliazer will never forget the day he became visually impaired; ever.Once Eliazer meets the peculiar Bryn Atkinson, questions and revelations begin to arise. Bryn knew she was stuck to Eliazer the minute she looked at his eye; the eye of wonder. She always said "Beauty is only skin deep", but soon enough, she learns there's more meaning to Eliazer's eye of wonder.So it's like they say, Curiosity killed a cat.But she has nine lives. ~Eliazer (e-lie-zir)Atkinson (at-kin-sin)Copyright © All Rights Reserved
8 213 - In Serial11 Chapters
Meet The Robinsons: The Future Has Arrived (Wilbur x Female Reader)
Wilbur Robinson's makes the greatest mistake any teenager could make. He forgot to lock the garage door leading to a guy in a bowler hat to steal his father's Time Machine and escape to the past in it. Now it's up to him and his best friend that he's totally not crushing on, (Name) to save the day!I do not own the rights to Meet The Robinsons, this is just a fanfic for fun. All rights belong to Disney.
8 122
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