《Battlefront》need feedback
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Hello readers. Before i proceed any further, i want to know how coherent is my story telling? Does it have any semblance to an organized story? Do you think i am missing the fundamental background building?
Though i did ask this question previously and did get feedback(I am happy for the advice) it is still not enough.
So Please! Tell me what you think.
Even if you completely bash the story i am fine with it.
Give me your feedback.
It will be much appreciated.
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- In Serial7 Chapters
Computerman
I've always loved playing games, I played them so much that the world bend to my will and allowed me to play them for eternity. Please don't be afraid I was human once let me tell you the tales of old times where everything was convoluted mess. The tale of my life and how I became Computerman. Cover art is from wombo art app, with prompt of "neutron Star" in synthwave category.
8 88 - In Serial77 Chapters
The End of Disappointment
What happens when the hero's journey ends with disappointment instead of happily ever after? Ghost. Butcher. Murderer. Some men attract names like flies, and Ryu Ishida unfortunately finds himself among their number. Once the son of a noble house, he knows firsthand what the quest for power in the world of the Rings can do to a man’s mind, yet he can only continue down the bloody path he started long ago, hoping that at its finish, he’ll find the end to his disappointment. Four hundred years after a portion of humanity was ripped from Earth and thrust into a world of magic, monsters, and swords, whatever cruel gods rule the Rings are stirring once more, and with them comes the chaos of progress. Monsters roam the land. Corruption breeds unchecked. Murderers slay their way to the heights of power. Ryu’s life could only be described as disappointing. Updates: 2-3 times a week. *Author Note: This story does not continue with the paint by the numbers Class LitRPG system for long, so while it technically is LitRPG, it is definitely on the less traditional side (or so I hope). Also, the cover art isn't mine.
8 282 - In Serial26 Chapters
Project G00
|Nanopunk |Crafting | Detailed Science and experiments | Inner thoughts | Bio-Robots | Evolution | Infodumps | Tell not Show | Insane to Sane | Slow and Detailed Pace | Puddle to Unknown | Artificial Intelligence | Trans-humanism | Bad Jokes | Moving 'Dungeon' Core | Hi! I am G00. I am a project made by some weirdo. Some may refer to me as the wobbly thing in the fridge or the slimy thing in the ceiling. Others might tell you about that sticky thing inside your nose. In the end, they called me the Seed of Life, yet didn’t tell me what I was supposed to become. Furthermore, it just happens that this stage was the most miserable place to reincarnate... Reincarnate as in… What the hell did I become?! (Whispers) You are a puddle. A puddle? (Whispers) Yes. C’mon little guy, say your lines! You’re live right now! Welcome to puddle-springs aka the afterlife of a puddle. CUT! Eh? Why?! No edition or photoshop needed?! We’re short on puddle-staff. The camera is broken, I am broken, and you are broken. Wait! How can a puddle be broken? You are not a puddle, you are frozen yogurt. NOOOOOOOOOO! Additional summary: Spoiler: Spoiler Humanity has finally made the second step towards space. Many developments were taking place at the time this happened. All of them accomplished thanks to nanotechnology. Inventions regarding Artificial Intelligence and nanorobotics created the opportunity, a way to terraform planets by sending nanorobots to space. Their orders? Colonizing and preparing the new worlds before humanity's arrival, aka terraforming. Meet G00, a weird agglomeration of nanomachines. A bit stupid, but it's not because he was like that. The little guy... 'He' is really broken. The hardest start of a story is when language is oddly misunderstood, when you know nothing of the place you just arrived; when your companion is a buggy system, and when you have to repair yourself with whatever trash you can scavenge from your surroundings. All of this while you fight your worst enemy: potatoes? What will you do in an unfamiliar circumstance where nothing is what it seems and where you won't even understand the boring ramblings of a confused main character? Well, patience will... probably have a reward? Additional tags and disclaimers: Read before starting the story: Harem: Not included for the moment, depends on characters added, votes by readers, and things that happen on the go. Magic: Far away chapters maybe... as part of high level or non-understandable things by science. Slice of life: Probably some parts will include it. Disclaimer #1: Crazy amount of content about high-tech info-dumps, slow pace, starts with biology and nanotechnology. Might have some weird jokes and puns. Game bugs are also possible. Disclaimer #2: No puddles were harmed during the making of this story. No character is real, no real puddle was used as part of the cast. Character is stupid at the start on purpose but he will get beta and beta. All written content follows a logical approach no matter how stupid it appears to be, maybe… Because it’s just a raccoon splashing some cotton-candy over a puddle after it was thrown. Yup, a bully raccoon with rabies or so it seems.
8 160 - In Serial31 Chapters
Black Sheep [dropped]
It was bad enough living in a cold mechanical world. It was even worse when he was exiled. Follow the man, marked for his crimes, and damned to eternal torment as he tries to find a place where he can belong. * This is my first work. I've read stories on here for years and was finally inspired to contribute some content. * Any feedback will be greatly appreciated. I think I have a neat idea and could use your help to turn it into a fun read. * The RPG starts on chapter 8 so feel free to skip ahead if that's what you're here for.
8 148 - In Serial19 Chapters
Journey of a Mage
Mantira, the world that never stands still and where the God's word is law. Milleniums have passed and every race living on Mantira have at one point broken this law and strode out into the unknown and either discovered things beyond their wildest dreams or faltered under the weight of heaven's decree. Even so, few dared to mess with the taboo which was the void. For no-one; even the God's, had come back from looking unto the void and learning the secrets that lay within. Except for one. Who's blind devotion to learning the secrets of the void, drew him farther and farther down the wheel of destiny and onto a path that would change the course of history. But unlike the events that were to ensue, the whole thing started with a small, unnoticeable grey cylinder.
8 182 - In Serial7 Chapters
I:DI/OM - Integrate
Arthorius Ynha-El Hyuga, or as his friends and family call him, Arthur, is a 22 year old who comes into possession of a Generation I A.I. While this was not necessarily the one he wanted, he didn't much care. However, he later finds out a dark secret about said A.I., which changes his entire view of the New World. While working as a Mercenary for the Black Letter Programme, a Freelancer Company which specializes in training Operatives for hire, Arthur gets a peculiar job to save a child belonging to the family that created the Mother of A.I. This job however, turns out to be something grimmer than just a search and rescue... sending him on a mission to try and prevent another World War, and possibly, even uncover a truth far more grim than war.
8 77
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