“Who here’s a virgin?” Just us guys here, wait nevermind Filly counts towards the census doesn’t she

“Want to make sure nobody dies a virgin? Or sacrifice them to please the volcano?” SirStripy answers wittingly

“Not quite sure, but won’t harm to do both”

“What are you guys talking about?” Derek stumbles up to the volcano’s rim, hopping from one scalding foot to the other. “Sacrificing virgins to volcanoes doesn’t work”

“What’s a virgin”

…

..

.

Ah, forgot about Nightbird and his er...lack of knowledge, not unlike someone I know. Oh they’d be great together, completely lost in every which way.

“Have you ever fallen asleep with someone, naked?” I’m going to assume he’s never heard the word sex

“Of course, Filly and I sleep together naked on warm nights” Not quite what I meant.

“Have you ever…put your thingy, inside someone elses’ thingy?”

He just gives a look of incredulous confusion “Thingy? This? But how does it…”

SirStripy gives him a tap on the shoulder and begins making scratchings on the rocky surface with the tip of his spear.

“There are two sexes, male and female. Males have these, ‘thingies’” Crude but effective drawing “and females have these”

Watching him carve out a surprisingly well formed female genetalia, I’m mildly impressed by his spear control.

“Now you put your thingy, into their thingy and you’re not a virgin anymore”

…

..

.

“Oh yes, that’s happened before” He doesn’t look too sure about that. “Does it count if we just bumped against eachother accidentally once?”

“That’s called a one night stand” I helpfully chip in.

“Standing all night? What does that mean?” Forget it.

“Back to the point, yes it does count” SirStripy, let ME teach this young fool the way of sodomy.

“even if it was by accident? I mean we were just being strangled by vines and-”

*clap*

“-and just that”

……..Erm, so he lost his viriginity by accidentally colliding with a girl while both were being strangeled by vines…ok? I mean beats my deflowering story by three tonnes, so kudos to him?!?

“Guys, as much…interest this conversation has delivered, I do not believe it is appropriate given that we’re currently standing on top of an active volcano”

Good point, good point indeed.

“Should we run?” I mean if it blows while we’re on the island we’re screwed anyways.

“Just, just maybe” SirStripy gives me a nod as he starts clambering down.

Following him quickly we scramble down the stairs with haste like a Pompeiian on judgment day, ironic.

Reaching the base of the volcano in surprisingly only about twenty minutes, Nightbird veers off to the left, and of course we all follow.

If we’re going to go through monkey hordes, might as well go a different direction.

Speaking of-

“HUA AH AH AH AHHHH”

“INCOMING”

Wading into hell, I grab a leaping monkey, fox trotting it away from the hail of explosive arrows and concurrent blood shower. Quickly doing a half-feather around SirStripy as he impales a monkey, lifting and smacking it down on another behind him, shaft just missing my head as I zip past, straight into Kered’s killing zone.

And that’s a piece of skull embedded in my eye, OW, at least it was my dance partner who’s head was obliterated not mine, DUCK, ROLL RUN! Getting away from the killzone as he thrashes about, swinging the thick tome with a wave of viscera spurting out each swing.

Out of one killzone and Jesus Filly, have some awareness, almost kicked my face in. let me hide under you for a bi…nope I’m never going to survive getting under there.

-98 AIAG DAMNED MONKEY GET OFF OF ME.

Elbowing it in the crotch, it drops off my back, twitching uncomfortably on the floor.

I don’t even bother killing it, just keep running away as Filly bounds over, playing dance master on the now pulped corpse.

Running right into the forest and oh god they’re all running…with me? Wow they’re so scared they don’t even notice I’m not a monkey.

Well…lets keep running!

For what seems like seconds we(?) sprint across the forested earth, zipping past hordes of screaming monkeys as they jump up and down in the trees and I swear I see a pair betting nuts on me.

There’s a gap in the trees!? Run run run!

I sprint towards the gap immediately noticing my competition(?) trailing quickly behind and I burst out of there, diving into cold, rocky ground.

*ding* Yes I know I’m bleeding, ouch!

Sitting, I quickly rip my t-shirt (so lucky it fixes itself after a while) and bandage up my scraped arm as it bleeds somewhat heavily onto the stone.

No way am I just focusing on that though, had enough of this island to know there’s something horrible around every freaking corner.

*Slap slap slap* Yep, there’s something horrible around the corridor, aand it’s rather echoey.

Oh, oh my. This is a quarry!? Well I did notice it wasn’t a beach and I should move out of what looks like the entrance, just in case.

Scrambling quietly to the side, hiding behind a stone-laden cart, I get the bleeding to stop and begin peeking.

Nothing here yet…well I have to go investigate the strange slapping noise right?

Yes, yes I do.

Knowing this’ll get me into trouble; because when has it not, I sneak towards the quarry entrance, quickly noticing the sharp decline into a giant, almost circular pit of old ledges and beams that dig into the carved out hole.

Calling it a quarry would be kind of incorrect; it’s more of an open mineshaft, since it’s all going down into the earth and there isn’t exactly much of a mountainside above ground to cut from, if anything it’s just a big jutting rock to be honest.

To adventure in the mines!

Following the strange spiraling descent for barely a few seconds, I climb onto a nearby ledge, after checking it can support my weight, and have a peek into the darkness below.

*Slap slap slap*

So that’s what that is and oh that’s what it is:

Turns out the echoey slapping noise is made by large scaled feet which are attached to some quite long crocodile looking thing, which is busy meandering about.

Oh and there are dozens of the things in current sight, all prancing about without any sort of purpose to their being.

Gosh it must suck to be a mob; you just path around until something kills you.

Identify is too low

Or in this case, just keep pathing.

Joat

Oh my, SirStripy, we can use this!

Completely forgot we could message eachother, because we’re technically in the same zone. Useful, very useful.

Of course Watch the smarminess there Where did you go though? Because we’re currently headed out of the forest.

Well. I’m in a quarry/mineshaft thing, once you get out of the forest you’ll see it.

Nice to know you didn’t die

Always a good thing, oh and be quiet because there’s monsters here too.

Not monkeys? He’s definitely as sick of them as I am.

Thankfully no. some strange crocodiles, but think fatter with more legs and spikes coming out of their backs.

That’s some pretty strange crocodiles

Indeed, I hope to never find out what they are.

Be there soon

*Hiss*

Not soon enough!!!

Whipping my head round to almost collide into a fat, toothy blue face, it’s yellow eyes bore into mine.

Oh bug-g-gg…