(Nerisp’s POV)

WHO’S THE CUNT WITH PISS COLOURED HAIR WE ALL SEE?

THAT TWAT OVER THERE

REPUGNANT AND UGLY AND POMPOUS IS HE!

THAT TWAT OVER THERE

IF WAILILING AND GRUNTING IS WHAT YOU WISH

THAT TWAT OVER THERE

THEN THROW COPPERS AND GET READY TO BE DEAF

THAT TWAT OVER THERE

And my day has suddenly got way more interesting, Also so much swearing, drunk Joat stop teaching people bad words!

Well when Joat walked in this morning, I thought something strange was going to happen…and this is definitely along the lines.

“YOU KNOW WHAT YOU INSOLENT COMMONERS, I SHALL TAKE MY BUSINESS ELSEWHERE”

*CLAPCLAPCLAPBANG*

“Querz please do something about this!” The head barmaid Tilda berates her husband quietly behind the bar as I pour some more ale. Although he’s the bartender she definitely runs the place.

“But they’re paying customers” And well paying ones too and he probably enjoyed that song…since the bard wasn’t exactly the friendliest…or too friendly, depends on who you ask.

“And he’s what brings our other customers in” She has also got a good point and like any good barmaid, I’m staying out of this.

“Well madam if I may be so rude as to interrupt, I am a bard myself and I do offer my services as entertainment” The young, loud man who equally led the terrorizing with Joat stumbles up.

“Right” She doesn’t buy it

“WELL THEN LISTEN HARD MY LADY FOR I HAVE A STORY TO TELL” He runs to the stage jumping up and almost tripping.

Oh no, here comes Trouble,

And make it double,

It’s the man with a big mace,

The follower of Fharlaghn Jace.

He could’ve picked any god,

One simple like Tiamat or Todd,

But instead he looked around,

Until the strangest name he had found.

Fharlaghn, that’s hell of a name,

Not many people know his fame;

He’s the god of distance, roads and travel,

Well I guess his followers must have a fetish for gravel.

He’s a priest, a healer but not of our souls,

But the cart’s wheels and our soles.

He’s a driver, the best around,

I guess no actual priests were to be found.

…

..

.

Wow that was actually pretty decent, even if a little slurred.

“Look my dear he’s a paying customer and a bard, he doesn’t even ask for payment” Quarz is pushing something against his wife? That’s unusual from what I’ve seen.

“Payment in food for me and my fellow companions” He’s got some really good hearing for a human.

“Well only a little payment, much less than that other one, plus his stories are much more lighthearted”

*Sigh*

“Fine, but if this goes wrong it’s all on you” She shakes her head at her husband as she goes back to cleaning the tables.

I mean Joat’s here…something is bound to go wrong right?

…

So far so good somehow.

We’ve hit lunchtime and as Corry, since he finally gave his name, speaks poems to the incoming crowds, the rest are chatting avidly to eachother…even the cloaked man called Nightbird is actually talking, about his horse apparently.

The poor tiny gnome is passed out on the Orc’s lap though, poor thing had way too much to drink already and it’s only midday!

Serving them lunch, Joat gives me many thanks before delving into the roast pork and potatoes, laughing at some story Derek is telling him.

They finish superbly quickly, washing away the food with ale of course and as Corry finishes his tale about a bar-fight with his three fictional characters, Joat stands up and waltzes over to the stage.

I spoke too soon

“Alright everyone, I’m going to need your help, with me now”

*Stomp stomp clap*

No he can’t be.

“Come on with me on 3, one two”

*STOMP STOMP CLAP”

“Buddy you're a boy make a big noise

Playing in the street gonna be a big man some day

You got mud on your face

You big disgrace

Kicking your can all over the place

Singing-”

“WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU” Well the Zebra-beastman that’s part of DillyDally’s lot certainly knows it along with Joat…the rest of the people there are just stomping and clapping to that unforgettable tune.

Damn my parents used to go mad everytime someone began that beat, one of the songs that never gets old even across many generations now.

I’ll join in next round.

“Come on sing it”

“WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU” Yes lots of people are singing along!

Singalongs are awesome!

“ALRIGHT”

*CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP*

You know what I’ll take back my thoughts on Joat ruining everything.

…

And so it’s devolved into an open mic now since SirStripy (he said his name) came on with a few poems and now Joat’s back on again after a bit more Corry

“Once upon a time there was a famous red and white knight on a black and white horse who desired the hand of a fair princess. So he rode to the castle to seek the permission of the king.

“Who goes there?” demanded the castle gatekeeper.

“It is the red and white knight on the black and white horse” replied the knight “I wish to see the king”

“Not THE red and white knight on the black and white horse?” replied the gatekeeper.

“Yes THE red and white knight on the black and white horse?”

“Very well, you’d better come through”

The knight entered the royal chamber.

“Who is it?” boomed the King

“It is the red and white knight on the black and white horse. I have come to ask for the hand of your daughter in marriage.”

“Not THE red and white knight on the black and white horse?” said the king

“Yes, THE red and white knight on the black and white horse”

“Well” Said the king. “First you must obtain a golden ring, from the golden dragon.”

“I shall do that” replied the knight and he rode off to find the golden dragon.

The golden dragon was in its lair. “Who goes there?” it called at the sound of approaching hoofs.

“It is the red and white knight on the black and white horse. I have come to claim the golden ring, with which I may marry the King’s daughter.”

“Not THE red and white knight on the black and white horse?” said the golden dragon.

“Yes, THE red and white knight on the black and white horse”

The golden dragon handed him the golden ring and he rode back to the castle.

“Who goes there?” demanded the gatekeeper.

“It is the red and white knight on the black and white horse.

“Not THE red and white knight on the black and white horse?

“Yes, THE red and white knight on the black and white horse. I am here to see the king”

“Very well, come through”

The knight entered the royal chamber

“Who is it?” boomed the king

“It is the red and white knight on the black and white horse”

“Not THE red and white knight on the black and white horse?”

“Yes, THE red and white knight on the black and white horse. I have obtained the golden ring from the golden dragon. Now may I ask for the hand of your daughter in marriage?”

“Actually,” replied the king, “you must also obtain the emerald ring from the green dragon”

“I shall do that.” said the knight and he rode off in search of the green dragon.

The green dragon was in its lair. “Who goes there?” it said, hearing the sound of approaching hooves.

“It is the red and white knight on the black and white horse. I have come to claim the emerald ring with which I may marry the king’s daughter.”

“Not THE red and white knight on the black and white horse?”

“Yes, THE red and white knight on the black and white horse”

The green dragon handed the emerald ring to the knight and he rode back to the castle.

“Who goes there?” demanded the gatekeeper

“it is the red and white knight on the black and white horse”

“Not THE red and white knight on the black and white horse?”

“Yes. THE red and white knight on the black and white horse”

“Very well, come through”

The knight entered the royal chamber

“WHo is it” boomed the king

“it is the red and white knight on the black and white horse”

“Not THE red and white knight on the black and white horse”

“Yes, THE red and white knight on the black and white horse. I have obtained the emerald ring from the green dragon and now I have come to ask for the hand of your daugher in marriage.”

“One last thing,” replied the king, “You must also obtain the ruby ring from the red dragon”

“I shall do that”, said the knight and he rode off in search of the red dragon

The red dragon was in its lair. “Who goes there?” called the dragon, hearing the sound of appoaching hoofs

“It is the red and white knight on the black and white horse”

“Not THE red and white knight on the black and white horse?”

“Yes, THE red and white knight on the black and white horse, I have come to claim the ruby ring so that I might marry the kings daughter.”

The red dragon handed the knight the ruby ring and the knight rode off to the castle.

“Who goes there?” demanded the gatekeeper

“It is the red and white knight on the black and white horse”

“Not THE red and white knight on the black and white horse”

“Yes, THE red and white knight on the black and white horse. I am here to see the king”

“Very well, come through”

The knight entered the royal chamber

“Who is it” boomed the king

“It is the red and white knight on the black and white horse”

“Not THE red and white knight on the black and white horse”

“Yes THE red and white knight on the black and white horse. I have obtained the ruby ring from the red dragon and now I wish to ask for the hand of your daughter in marriage.”

“You may enter her chambers” Said the king as he escorted him to her chambers

“Who are you?” Demanded the princess as he walked through her door

It is the red and white knight on the black and white horse”

“Not THE red and white knight on the black and white horse”

“Yes, THE red and white knight on the black and white horse. I am here to seek your hand in marriage. Will you marry me?”

“No””

…

..

.

“AHAHAHAAA” Only Nightbird laughs…at first…awkward.

Right SirStripy is back on stage and let’s see how the rest of these drunkards who have been drinking ale and Treeroot wine for close to 6 hours now are faring:

The little Gnome who passed out on the Orc’s lap at around lunch-time…Is now up and being overtly drunkenly flirty with him, while slurring and failing to make proper sentences.

Derek the er lawyer is busy drinking ale hard with what looks like a homeless man who came in about an hour ago but he’s a friend of Joat due to their hello’s so he can’t be all that bad…right? Eight drinks and still going.

Joat and his new loud friend, Corry are busy dancing on a table spouting something which sounds very familiar, as if I’ve heard it before. Something about green dragon, gosh where’d I hear that before?

I mean they’re bringing business in and generally making everyone clap and sing along when they can but the mess they make, jesus, my cleaning rag is already soaked with the spilt alcohol from them and the other patrons.

That’s all of the- wait no where’s Nightbird stumbled off to now, where is he?

“Filly is the most beautiful girl in the world, she can run like the wind and her mane is just so soft” There he is, annoying more customers about his horse, slurring his words like the rest of them…though he can somehow handle his drink pretty well…nevermind he just passed out. Nope he’s just had a momentarily lapse in motor function it seems.

Well his horse anway, squat thing, is in the stable area and actually it is a decent looking horse; well groomed and well fed at least.

*Clapclapclapclap*

Ah SirStripy’s finished and more drinks need to go around.

…

Dinnertime and the partying of these six people doesn’t seem to be slowing down much.

The Gnome is actually on stage now, doing magic.

Yes real magic like spouting water from her hands in little swirls and making mini fireworks explode above us.

After seeing this I really want to learn magic, badly. I mean how easy would it be to wash with magic rather than good old elbow grease?

The place is bustling mad with activity; about half the people are standing up, chatting, drinking, staring wide eyed at the gnome who performs neat little magic tricks.

Oh and she’s naked which you know nobody’s stopping because it’s good for business and unlike how it would be back home, nakedness isn’t a big issue, especially in taverns and it’s a cute gnome.

Sexist bastards but then again I spot a duo in their underwear

Anyways, I would’ve thought the Orc would’ve stopped her but he’s too busy back facing her and playing what looks like beer pong with copper coins, teamed with SirStripy and against the aforementioned Corry and Joat tagteam of 0 aiming skills.

Seriously they’ve somehow landed a copper coin in Tilda’s cleavage halfway across the room but that wasn’t anywhere near the playing table.

More mess to clean up but at least it’s a mess of money

The hobo-ish guy, now wearing a large portion of Joat’s clothes (apparently when they lose at beer pong their clothing goes to the hobo-friend), is busy smoking pipe with Derek who all gulp down Treeroot while chatting about nature.

Nightbird is nowhere to be seen…

“MORE DANGER” Joat shouts as he somehow backhandly chucks his copper coin into the fireplace.

“YOU DO SOMETHING!” she sticks her tongue out at him as she finishes her mildly mesmerizing water show.

“GO ON THEN” He jumps up leaving Corry to his doom at beer pong, while the Orc, finally noticing the Gnome’s nakedness jumps to get her clothed, stumbling along the way.

“I NEED SOME HATS. YOU SIR, I NEED YOUR HAT” Suddenly about half a dozen hats get thrown onto stage “AND SOME MUSIC, ANYBODY PLAY SOME MUSIC?”

Luckily it seems someone, Tilda, employed a few members of the music guild a short while ago, since music really livens up a place.

“PERFECT” He picks up a poor man’s hat, sort of like a beret but flatter I guess, and begins rolling it across his body.

How he can do that drunk, nevermind he just dropped it.

“IT’S BEEN A LONG TIME” He picks it back up and this time successfully rolls it from one arm to the other. Much applause

Now he picks up three hats, wearing one, throwing one upside down and flat to his left hand, grabbing the hat on his head with his right before replacing it with the one in his left.

Oh that’s actually quite impressive.

Suddenly switching it up he places one hat infront of the one on his head and another behind, moving the hats forwards and replacing the backmost with the frontmost.

Joat knows some rather interesting things and the crowd certainly likes it with all the ooh’s and aahs.

And now he’s juggling 3, no 4, replacing the worn hat every few throws. Joat’s a circus freak!? I mean never would’ve guessed that but with his personality it’s not that impossible to believe.

Though he is dropping the hats really often, since he cannot catch very well

“4TH TIME NAKED” Someone shouts. Oh it’s Corry…

“WELL I CHALLENGE YOU TO DO BETTER SIR”

Oh no not this

“GO ON THEN” Corry jumps onto stage also only in his underwear.

Can I say both have extremely nice bodies, whoof. Ok back to work

And both somehow know hat tricks as both are shuffling 3 hats around, nope 5 hats around their body as the musicians blast away intensifying the situation. And Joat’s doing 6 hats now? How in the earth is he doing that?

Well I have no idea but it was something rather magical watching the two men battle with hat tricks in their underwear…

And it’s over all too quickly, a shame.

…

8pm, a little after dinner and hell breaks loose as one squat horse barges in, Nightbird just infront raring drunk

“I CHALLENGE ANY PERSON HERE TO OUTDRINK FILLY”

“CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!” Multiple people shout out and the drinking begins

Erm I would say no animal policy but since there are beastmen…

“Get that beast-” Tilda storms up to Nightbird who innocently drinks his ale while Filly, the horse picks up a tankard sloshing it down all in one, dropping the empty tankard and neighing happily, much to the applause of everyone there “Another tankard”

I guess Tilda’s given up by now.

…

About 10pm now, the place is packed to the brim with people who simply just don’t want to leave especially as Joat, who is surprisingly funny, is doing a comedy routine…still in his underwear.

Well if I hadn’t seen the er sexual side of him before I would definitely see it now in the with the amount of innuendos waterfalling out of him. It’s actually impressive he’s kept this up for an hour now.

The hobo-looking guy, Corry and Derek are all now having a heated debate about which of their books is better, all 3 holding out their respective book lovingly around the table, while drinking more ale, 17 tankards and still puffing their pipes, all of them partaking.

Nightbird and the gnome are shouting at eachother from across the table, something about the miscaring of animals, both fully clothed, all while SirStripy and the Orc are having a arm wrestling competition, while drinking with the other hand, bet upon a lot of others.

Oh and Filly the Horse is on the 12 tankard, with 4 out of her 8 competitors down and out. That horse can drink!

I see Honey is here helping with the bets, for both competitions.

Though I don’t see many familiar faces here since I guess most people are busy doing whatever to come over and watch this lot play about drunkenly.

Seriously did none of you got anything better to do today?

…

Midnight finally hits and while it’s supposed to be closing time…that isn’t happening tonight.

You’d think after over 12 hours of making jokes, reciting poems and doing odd performances they’d be out of things to do.

Nope…Joat’s always got something to say and it comes in the form of a hauntingly entertaining song

Oh sir Jasper do not touch ME,

Oh sir Jasper do not touch ME,

Oh sir Jasper do not touch ME,

Said she in the tent with nothing on at all.

Oh sir Jasper do not touch,

Oh sir Jasper do not touch,

Oh sir Jasper do not touch,

Said she in the tent with nothing on at all.

Oh sir Jasper do not,

Oh sir Jasper do not,

Oh sir Jasper do not,

Said she in the tent with nothing on at all.

Oh sir Jasper do,

Oh sir Jasper do,

Oh sir Jasper do,

Said she in the tent with nothing on at all.

Oh sir Jasper,

Oh sir Jasper,

Oh sir Jasper,

Said she in the tent with nothing on at all.

Oh sir,

Oh sir,

Oh sir,

Said she in the tent with nothing on at all.

Oh,

Oh!

OH!!!

…

..

.

That sound is going to remain with me for a scarringly long time..the sound of almost 100 people, mostly men making that noise…

Since we have passed curfew everyone remaining legally has to stay but quite a few do waltz out drunkenly.

It’s fine, they’ll just be arrested for the night and it’s better if they go home and get some sleep.

Not for these 8 though, well 9 if you include the swaying horse who somehow won, 25 tankards and still conscious: all sitting down at their beginning table, drinking the last of the Treeroot, on a firm 25 ales for those who were drinking it and pipes being passed around…this lot are determined to stay and make more mess.

*Sniff*

That’s an interesting smell, like airy but hot. And guys seriously, letting the horse puff some smoke too?

I have seen many a thing here tonight.

Everyone is chatting (neighing) nonsensically laughing at something, possibly nothing and having an extremely merry time…but seriously I need to log out, go home.

“A toast, to good day” Corry and Joat suddenly jump up onto the table shouting cheers to everyone

“A GOOD DAY” everyone replies back

“A days past?” the gnome giggles incredulously while the Orc who’s lap she sits on laughs rambunctiously at Nightbird teaching SirStripy horse-speak while Filly looks like she’s listening intently. “We’ve got to go Kruush!” She stumbles up, falling face first onto the floor.

“Little Trish you can’t be leaving so soon!”

“Though it seems the time for loudness here has passed. We should be leaving” The multilayered up hobo speaks up and I do agree with him.

As they generally accept that fact, the 9 of them stumble and sway out together, helping eachother to stand as they laugh their way out, quickly followed out by the many other customers since them leaving means the party truly is over.

I mean does no one care there’s a curfew?

The sounds of whistling outside should teach them. Dumbos.

…

“Excuse me Nerisp” That’s a familiar voice…Zzoid?

“What may it be Zzoid?” I ask questioningly, hoping that is his name

“I am and may you, perchance, have any idea where Joat may have disappeared off to? He’s online but not answering any messages”

“The last I saw him was stumbling out with a group of others, I heard whistles from the town guard after that”

“Ah I see well that’s the problem…all those who were arrested for being outside of curfew have already been released...”

…

(Thrash’s POV)

“Ah the moon is beautiful tonight”

“SHUT UP YOU DAMNABLE STRAWHEADED FOOL AND FEED ME”

“AND ME PLEASE”

“Are you guys not giving up?”

“N...NE......NEVEEEEEEEER”