I’m back in action with energy to spare, woo!

12 hours of sleep really did me some good!And some food and a nice hot shower really helped.

God was I cranky.

Well anyways, I’m here and ready to…hunt.

I guess that could give me some useful skills?

Right, first things first; let’s look through the notifications that have been storing up in my inbox.

You have Died. Ogre Race is now locked

As expected

You survived 5 waves (wave 1-6)

For surviving 5 waves you have gained 1 permanent level

Reputation with all Villagers +5

For killing over 100 monsters within the event you have received a candy with teleportation effect (24 hours) (soulbound)

Holy Aiag that is some pretty sweet loot.

I mean it is one use…but if I’ve got a high enough magical understanding I could probably learn how to actually teleport without the candy effect…ooh plans for later.

Also nice to see that it’s soulbound…really need more of those.

Message from Zzoid

Just the bog standard this is what happened in the meeting message, including my squad going hunting today…well it’s completely official now…no running away from that work.

Congratulations! By constantly leading members of your community through hard times you have been both informally and formally appointed Leader of your Orphans by both themselves and outsiders.

TITLE: Orphan Leader

You are the leader of the Orphans that reside in this Village.

This title is gives some in-game bonuses.

For gaining this title your communication and leadership stats will increase by 5 each. If these stats are unused the additional points will be added once the stat is active.

Quests concerning your Orphan’s as a whole will naturally be known to the Orphan Leader first

xp increases by 25%

Free stat points so Wohoo for that…but no wohoo’s for being appointed leader.

I’d rather be free then be sought out for responisibilities…Eugh.

Well it is stat points and 25% xp so all in all might be worth it, might…

That oddly enough does seem to be it...for now.

I notice a few pillars of light nearby, receding to show some familiar faces. Oho!

Waving them over, I notice the Zz’s coming from my right.

“ALRIGHT EVERYONE, PLEASE SAY SOMETHING IF YOU ARE PRESENT”

“I present myself” Zzoid gives a little bow, smart play on words there.

“Teacher we’re ready” Ah Zzard

“Big brother!” And that makes the 3 of them

“Here” Well that was just plain.

Turning round, oh it’s Baila! Seriously you couldn’t at least try something smarmy.

AH someone is hugging me way too tightly.

“Let’s do this” Right, careful with your words there in this situation…PinkyS? Oh my she looks rather…possessive of me at the moment.

DANGER DANGER

“If you ever need a shoulder to cry on because you have to have responsibilities, I’m here for you” Tahnk you PJ, for the fully sarcastic comment/heartfeltness of it. And for prying PinkyS off of me…

“I’m ready for a hunt, girl” Tharsh, please don’t growl like that in my ear, it’s terrifying. Plus I am not a woman, I have thoroughly checked just for you.

“Hey what’s up gang” Honey sidles in looking towards us with slight awkwardness.

Well I guess we’ve all sort of partied together before except for him.

Either that or the fact that Zzoid is already singing a ballad (half decently mind you) to PJ about her baba-loliness is rather disconcerting to newcomers, of just everyone in general.

“JOAT” I think tha-IMPAAAACT

Aaand I’m flat on my back with a zombie ontop of me, who is giggling rather uncontrollably…well this isn’t awkward.

“Hey there Princess, haven’t seen you around in a bit”

She sits up on me “Oh it’s been so exciting I’ve been on a thing called a plane and seen the sea it’s so HUGE”

“Mistress” A pair of gleaning bone fingers clasp gently around her shoulder

“Oh!” She finally realizes that she’s sitting on me, and summarily stands up, wiping her ragged leather outfit a little bit before curtsying her apologies. “I’m just a little bit excited”

A little bit eh? Never would’ve noticed. AND where’ syour shame for straddling someone in public!? Oh wait I forgot…YOU HAVE NONE!

But right now I’m trying not to notice the stares/glares I’m getting from people.

I didn’t do anything! I swear, she’s waaay to innocent for me to even think of corrupting her so (completely forgetting I begun teaching her a bit of showgirl stuff…).

Sharpy quickly gets Miss Nameless under control and I really need to get things moving to distract everyone from the situation that didn’t just happen.

*Cough*

“Alright we’re still missing t-“

*Grunt*

“We’re all here” I’m just going to assume Charmine is there because those two seem to never be separated.

“Erm, can we all introduce ourselves?” Charmine meekly as--holy mother of traps is she one.

She almost looks human except from the slightly pointy ears and sharper facial features. Also BC is still one big ugly mothertrucker, but when I say bigger I mean she’s grown at least a foot.

So an elf and a…I honestly don’t know; ogress? That sort of makes sense.

“Zzand”

“Zzard” They both back slightly away from the menacing looking BC…as they should do.

“Baila as you should know”

“Thrash, girl”

…

..

.

Did Thrash actually get someone’s gender correct? I’m impressed. Now only if he could do it for mine…

“Girl?” Both Pinky’s and most of the Zz’s (not Zzoid you perceptive bugger) exclaim rather shocked.

“Y-yes, I’m Charmine”

“Well my lady, we will try our best to take care of you” Sharpy already up in the gentleman’s protectionism…good for him, though I swear he just gave me the evil eye.

OH CMON!

“Joat calls me Princess” You really shouldn’t be happy saying that, nor should you be widespread telling that and for Pete’s sake everyone stop giving me weird eyes!

“And you may call me Zzoid” Smoothly introducing himself there, also putting Sharpy inbetween himself and BC, smart move.

“I’m Pinky Seniour” PinkyS bounces up and down.

*Cough*

“ow” Zzand whines slightly as I subtly pinch both him and his brother out of their slight daze. Can’t blame them, BUT I’m a law abiding normal citizen…

Anyways, PJ then bounces up and down to little effect…well the Zzoid effect at least.

“Honey” He doesn’t look too chilled with everyone here…and he’s standing closest to Thrash…probably thinking he’s the most normal. Oh Honey…

“BoneCracker” Eeek that’s a scary voice! God I almost forgot how absolutely terrifying BC is.

“Well that’s everyone, oh and I’m Joat, master of Distaster, Leader of the masses and of course your Squad leader, so good luck with that”

“You forgot Jinxlord of Catastrophies”

And Baila is back ladies and gentlemen. I don’t believe in jinxes!

“Right, let us go, to Hunt for other people because I’m kind like that”

“You just had nothing better to do didn’t you big brother”

“Damn right, but I’d prefer it if we all at least pretended I’m altruistic” Not even going to deny it.

Laughing I start heading out the village.

“Er Joat” Zzoids concerned voice stops me “Do you even know where we’re heading”

…

..

.

“That way” I point towards the north…and I damn well hope that’s the way we’re going…

I mean the 3 makeshift carriages are pointed that way so it seems like the right idea.

But knowing my luck…

“I’m pretty sure you’re wrong Joat, just knowing you” Thank you for your support Baila

Quite a few of the others disagree with me.

“Fine” Ok if you all want to complain, I will prove that I know what I’m doing (even if I do not…) “Everyone split up and go random directions to try find food. Message me if you find something”

Nodding everyone starts to split off in random directions by themselves not really worrying about having to deal with monsters because we did kind of kill them all.

“Baila” I call out to her before she disappears off too.

I need someone to confirm with everyone that I did not deviate from my path, plus she is going to be a permanent (hopefully) member of my party for the rest of the beta test so I kind of need to rekindle our relationship.

“What is it Joat?”

“Come with me oh darling, to the forest of burnt delights we must go” Offering her an arm she lightly takes it and we begin walking off.

Luckily everyone else has left the vicinity so no annoying wolf whistles/stares come our way.

“So it’s been quite a while since it was just the two of us” She exclaims rather pensively

“Yeah a lot has happened, plus we’re kind of stuck with this lot till we reach level 10”

“Should be pretty soon though and then we can adventure freely”

We? Perfect.

“I have a feeling I’ll be dragged into something more after this so I’m not bringing my hopes up”

“Hihi you are so weird”

“Thank you, but why?”

“You complain about leading all the time but you actively pursue it”

…

..

.

She has got a fair point there.

“I just want it over with”

“I think you like the power”

“I do but the responsibility with it is just horrible. I’d rather stay untethered from that mass” I just hope they’ll give me all these delicious skills when we all get together.

She chuckles lightly as we crunch through the burnt forest.

“So who’s going to be in our party after this?”

Well…err haven’t really thought of that yet.

“Everyone’s already got their little cliques so I was thinking we’d romantically travel around together”

“Wait being along with your idiotic self is romantic?”

“Hey I am rather intelligent”

“The man who decided to burn down an entire forest after pissing off a hobgoblin king”

“Queen for that matter and it wasn’t the entire forest” I point to a charred tree and it oh so perfectly crumbles down…universe oh how I love these moments with you.

Baila just lightly laughs at me.

“Though if I had to pick people for us to travel with-” oh we’re back on topic “-I’d probably choose Anoobis”

…

..

.

“Erm Joat?”

“Are you feeling ok? Did you hit your head anywhere?”

“Well I did as a matter of fac- that’s not the point. He’s actually a half decent guy, with a superiourity complex but still intelligent and very hard working. To be honest it was actually alright working alongside him. As long as he’s not completely uppity about himself I’d be mostly alright to have him in the party.”

She makes a good point, but still I swear she had bad history with him…

“So why the sudden change of heart?”

“Well” She starts bouncing two fingers off one another in awkward silence “…compared to this other guy, Anoobis actually seems like a nice guy, even if he also did disappear off randomly he at least told me about it as soon as he could”

Oh she must be talking about when he was with Miss Nameless. So they were working together for the weaponsmithing? Must’ve been quite a tense experience for them both…

Also…I have a feeling she doesn’t quite like this ‘other guy’. I mean what did he do to her to make Anoobis seem nice?

I mean it’s not like he had a one n…

“Did you wake up and he was gone?”

“Joat!” She exclaims in shock to me. Wow spot on and oops shouldn’t be mixing RL with game.

ABORT ABORT!

“Ah it explains why you were kind of out of this this morning” I SAID ABORT BRAIN!

“Hey! It was mean” Oh no “I mean what kind of dick sneaks away without even a goodbye”

“Wow that does sound pretty dickish” Every one night stand ever? Well the properly done ones anyway. Those that stay around usually are looking to become more than just a one night stand... “Oh look more burnt trees” Phew aborting successful.

Making a beeline for the trees, Baila goes to catch up with me, noticing that I’m deliberately avoiding the conversation but she doesn’t seem to mind, I hope.

Phew, almost went into a dark place there, not somewhere I want to go, this early in the morning too!

Traversing across the land, quite silently because oops I made it kind of awkward, I finally spot a river a small distance away.

“Aha I am always right”

“Just don’t be diving and waking up a mini-boss in this one please” She gives me a sarcastic smile.

Oh yeah, almost forgot about that kraken…feels like an age ago.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be doing the diving” As I say that I not so lightly push her into the streaming river, which still looks mostly intact.

“JOAAA-”

*Splash*

Hehehe god I love it when they screa “AAAH-”

Being forcibly dragged into the cool water, I get nudgied by her while struggling to get some air.

Finally letting me go, I pop out from underneath the water and into the fresh air.

Ahh so much bettAH there’s something clutching around my feet!

I should remain calm as is my gentleman nature in front of the lady, but I’ve only got 10 hp and don’t really want to die so…

“Baila, something touched my legs” I state to her matter of factly, with only a hint of worry

“AH” She begins jumping out and naturally I follow her, the what I suppose is a fish doesn’t care and let’s me leave the water without any trouble.

Once out of the water we both peer in to see that indeed it is a fish…or well the bone structure of one…along with both red bulbous eyes, yeeesh.

It’s obviously dead so the real question here is what the hell ate it so cleanly?

“Joat what have we found?”

“Well something ate the fish so it’s also edible?” Looking on the bright side here as always

“I’m calling the others before you start gallivanting off creating a mess” Oh I’m not THAT bad, am I?

I do decide to message everyone because Baila probably doesn’t have them all friended and slowly but surely everyone appears in the horizon.

While they do though, a number of perfectly cleaned fish skeletons have floated down the stream rather ominously.

“Joat what did you do this time?” Zzoid gives me a look.

“Seriously nothing, we just jumped in and found the fish skeleton” Putting up my hands defensively I get questioned no further.

“But we’re going to go find out what ate the fish right?” Dammit Zzoid I was going to slowly put them into it rather than just burst all out at once.

Tactics my dear friend, tactics.

“I love a good hunt”

“Hmm the red eyes suggest a cavernal habitat so we’ll have to bring some torches” Zzoid already off the bat planning, also where does he get all this random knowledge from?

“I’m actually getting pretty hungry, so can we go find whatever it is now?” PJ whines slightly as her stomach grumbles.

“Sorry to disappoint you madam, but cave-born fish tend to taste more bland due to the lack of sunlight”

“Wow Krudel you know so much”

“But why does the sun make a difference? Teacher do you know?”

“Well little…Zzard the sunlight causes chemical reactions in the body which brings about its flavour as well as its strength. This is why things living in the dark tend to be physically weaker?” Charmine doesn’t seem too sure about her explanation but hey it’s a better explanation than what I could give.

“Charmine is correct, always correct” Ook BC calm down on the fanaticism please.

“That is a shame big brother I was getting hungry for fish”

“If we find some spices we could cook something up for it!” PinkyS bounds up and down in excitement

“But we’d have to be careful with the cooking of the meat as it will be very susceptible to both heat and light” Already Honey is sticking out his tongue in an attempt to think hard, possibly deciding what conditions we cook the fish in.

“Oh Honey you can cook? Perfect!” Baila jumps up excitedly. Hey I can cook too…somewhat.

Right I guess it’s decided then

“Everyone…let’s go fishing”

“Hunting”

“Bad Zzoid”

With everyone’s chuckling I begin walking up along the riverside, quickly followed by the rest.

The trek is nice and calming, apart from the slowly growing number of clean fish skeletons floating down the river, their eyes untouched…

“Any thoughts on what it could be?” I ask the squad as they chatter along.

No responses, perfect.

Ah we’re finally at something; a waterfall!

After maybe 2 hours of slowly walking up the riverside we’ve finally come across a waterfall…

Continuing to walk sure enough there’s a secret cave behind the waterfall! Ah how I love how that is still a thing in this day and age.

Stepping onto the cold slimy stone floor I hear my slapping feet echo into the dark cavern entrance.

Luckily there’s a little sidewalk beside the river full of skeleton fish so we don’t have to wade through that.

Grabbing the hand of whoever’s behind me; Baila, perfect, I whisper for everyone to hold hands because I’m assuming everyone is blind…because I am too since I haven’t re-learned my perception skill yet.

“Give me 5 minutes everyone”

…

..

.

*Ding*

“Alright let’s go”

Well that was easy to re-learn.

Walking along the floor beside the slow current river there isn’t actually much to see or hear…well apart from the hushed echoes of snipping and splashing.

Not creepy at all.

Finally getting to the end of the corridor we walk out into a large expansive space with quite a lot of things going on:

A large white gangly creature with large claws slides almost silently into the water while another slides out carrying a flopping fish with bulbous red eyes. A few more squat by the large circular body of water opening the fish with experienced ease and one even throws away a fish skeleton as I glance around.

Oh and there’s a massive cylindrical rock in the middle of the water which looks really artificial; it’s almost properly a cylinder.

Though the minute we all get here, all the pale gangly creatures stop what they’re doing and look at us with their own bulbous red eyes

…

..

.

Are they going to attack or what?

“MONSTERS”

Aha-wait that wasn’t them!?

Something scaly brushes past me and yup that’s the two younglings accompanied by the two pink bunnies.

Well I guess we’re fighting them.

Almost a dozen of these things pop out of the water almost immediately and hell breaks loose.

Thrash zooms past me and leaps over the water and onto of these thing’s tearing into it while Krudel dives into the water with a loud splash covering up Baila pole vaulting her way towards another creature treading water.

“Yeehaw” Miss Nameless jumps into the water without hesitation while everyone else just flies past me all at once.

…

..

.

The battle lasts about a minute which is pretty impressive seeing as though there were 12 of them and by the fact that it took Thrash a few seconds to kill one, they weren’t low level either.

Though by the time everyone gets out the water they all look badly wounded and Baila has even lost her armour. But it seems her beginner clothing respawned, phew.

Also most of the people here can’t even see in this dark…just what did they think they were going to accomplish.

I did see Baila somehow kill something mind you...after faceplanting the water oh so fantastically.

“Right, are you done going mad all of you?” I peer down at them as some of the younger ones catch their breath.

*Rumble*

“I declare this wasn’t my fault” Quickly blurting that out, I turn towards the cylindrical rock in the center and sure enough it’s trembling.

“We should run” Oh thanks Zzoid, never would’ve thought of that.

Rushly helping people up the rumbling gets bigger, accompanied with the sound of splitting rock.

“RUN” Everyone starts rushing towards the corridor upon my shout and at that exact moment the rock bursts apart revealing a large white cylinder with multiple horizontal grooves.

You have awoken the Mini-boss: Larva

…

..

.

“Pfft”

“Joat this isn’t a laughing matter” Baila reprimands me as I chuckle at the fact that we may be fighting a Larva.

Due to waking it up agro is 100%

OH CMON!

The flat head dips towards my direction and I spot the thousands of rows of gleaming teeth pointing my direction.

Go go go!

Charging and slipping through the corridor I hear the suctioning sound of the Larva trying to squeeze its way towards us.

…

..

.

“Um guys” I stop running away and everyone slowly stops, some giving me a strange look. “We could just poke that to death now right?” I point my thumb at the futilely squeezing Mini-boss.

A few small laughs bounce around as everyone rushes up to the Larva and start stabbing, clawing and punching at its face without mercy.

The AI is rather interesting...

With a few last shlops of what I’m guessing is it’s wailing in pain it finally stops squiggling around and it’s front quite literally explodes into mist covering all of us.

You have successfully slain the Mini-boss: Larva

You have been imbued with Larva Scent

…

..

.

Firstly Ew. Secondly what?

Peering at the top right of my HUD I spot a red bordered square.

Ah red’s never good.

“You can click on it to check it out” Zzoid helpfully points out.

DEBUFF: Larva Scent (1 Stack)

The Scent of a Larva is imbued into your body to what effect you don’t know

Duration: Permanent

“EWWW” A few of the people here jump into the river trying to wash themselves off.

“Hmm to be covered in their scent, it’s so we can be tracked” Thrash growls with a little glint in his eyes. No Thrash I don’t want to be hunted please!

“But what would try hunting us?” PJ stands by us dry as a dead leaf. Seems like she doesn’t really care about the slight gooey smell we’re all emitting now.

“its mother” Thrash unhesitatingly replies.

FANTASTIC! Just what I needed…to be hunted by the mother of a mini-boss…and also the fact that this think seems to stack…

“RIGHT” The splashing/cleaning stops “Someone cut this up and the rest of you fish. If you can’t see go outside and get some skills.

The bunnies, Charmine and Honey leave. The rest stay…even Thrash.

I’m sure he’s a wolf-beastman he shouldn’t have night-vision…?

Ah well no skin off my back if he’s helping.

Now then, down to cutting that humongous disgusting Larva to pieces

…

Phew that only took forever!

ITEM: Uncooked Larva Flesh x423 (Poor quality)

The flesh and meat of a Larva

ITEM: Larva Teeth x999 (Poor quality)

Teeth of a Larva

Well that should feed us for quite a bit.

“Right, let’s get some light” I call out to the others who are busy washing themselves of the slightly acidic insides of the Larva.

Washing myself as we wade outside I believe I’m presentable when I pass through the waterfall and into the light.

…

..

.

Aaand they’re sunbathing…even Honey wow.

“Ok you lot stop the sunbathing session and let’s get to some actual work” I clap my hands waking a sleeping PJ in the process.

Half-grumbling they stand up.

“Alright, so 2 things about that little adventure we just had. Firstly don’t be rash and leap out like that” I look at pretty much everyone but it was pretty much everyone who leapt out randomly “And secondly we need to work on this thing people call teamwork”

“True but hey we didn’t die so we can’t have been that bad” Baila shrugs her shoulders towards me

“No we’re just individually quite good so we could handle ourselves fine” Sharpy actually takes my side?! Well not really but I’m counting it!

“And thus I want you all to pair up and train your skills together”

“I’m with Joat!” PinkyS blurts out immediately and everyone else quickly grabs someone to partner up with.

And I’m left with BC and PinkyS…this isn’t good…how did I get BC?! Shouldn’t she be with Charmine!?

Actually why is Baila with Charmine, she should be with me!

“You see what I meant” Zzoid stop giving me the look “is that we should partner up with people we haven’t worked with before”

“We should do it randomly” PJ speaks up. Hmm that is a good idea to stop people feeling prejudiced if they don’t get picked…

“Then we shall Rochambo it!” Holding my fist into the air I motion with my other hand for everyone to gather round.

“Rochambo Teacher?”

“Rock Paper Scissors”

“Rock Paper Scissors?”

…

..

.

Just what kind of upbringing did you have Miss Nameless?

“It’s a simple game with your hand. You have three positions; rock, paper and scissors. Rock beats scissors, scissors beats paper and paper beats rock, you got all that?”

“Yup” Well at least she’s got a really good memory.

“We will all say Ro-cham-bo and pick a position. Ok everyone you ready?” Everyone nods and makes a small circle.

“Erm how will this decide who we’re pairing with?” Baila, that is a fantastic point that I almost forgot about.

“Whoever has the same position will pair up and the first time there is a three they will trio up” No one seems against it so…

“RO…CHAM…BO!”

…

..

.

Erm looks like Zzand is with PJ and BC…hmm not too awful and I’m left with mostly people who won’t kill me…maybe.

“RO…CHAM…BO!”

Thrash and Honey are out with Scissors and our circle is growing ever smaller.

Hmm who do I want to be with...actually better question would be who do I not want to be with?

Peeking at Sharpy.

“RO” roc-pa-sci-sci-ro-ro “…CHAM” pap-roc-pa-ro-pap-sci “…BO” Scissors!

Oh my god he’s good at this!

Ow my eyes hurt after trying to keep up with that.

And I’m not even correct!?

His bony hand is in the shape of a rock and so is mine, EEK!

Quickly peeking around, phew Miss Nameless is also a rock…

Zzoid and Charmine took scissors though and they’re out.

Alright, only me, the undead duo, Zzard, PinkyS and Baila are still in…

“Excuse me Joat” Miss Nameless raises her hand slightly “Why is everyone changing their hand position?

…

..

.

I swear I just told you the game?

“Have you been going rock this whole time?”

“No I mean why are you changing your mind mid swing?”

Oh!

“Because I’m trying to n-choose my partner” Whoops almost said I didn’t want to be with Sharpy…

“Ohhhh”

Alright round 4.

“RO…CHAM…BO!”

…

..

.

Holy mother of Aiag I think my eyes just had a heart attack!

I’ve got rock, mostly because my brain just melted at the speed at which Miss Nameless was changing her hand positions as well as Sharpy!

He’s got scissors as well as Miss Nameless, but Zzard also has scissors.

Baila has rock along with PinkyS…wow that was odd and I have actually noticed Sharpy’s intense gave on Miss Nameless’ hand.

I’m guessing he wants no one else to partner with her…but tough luck welcome to RPS!

“RO…CHAM…BO!”

…

..

.

I’m paper all by myself…

And Zzard is with Sharpy…oh my I dodged a bullet there.

And Sharpy’s having a mild breakdown over in the distance…guess he’s just realizing he isn’t going to be there for Miss Namless…whoops.

Anyways.

So now there’s only me, Miss Nameless, Baila and PinkyS

…

..

.

I take back what I said about dodging a bullet.

*Gulp*

Suddenly the air feels a lot more tense…and I can feel EVERYONE’S gaze upon me. Seriously why me!?

“RO…” already they’re hands are spasming “CHAM” Erm rock-pa-sci I DON’T KNOW “BO!” ROCK!

…

..

.

“Yes!” Baila lightly exclaims with the clenched fist of victory before blushing slightly at everyone’s sniggers.

The other two picked paper.

Phew this ended up with the least worst of the three situations, Luck is with me today.

“Alright, now that everyone has their groups split off and work together…you have an hour”

“An hour that’s not nearly long enough to learn how to work together” Charmine helpfully points out.

“I said that we should get to know everyone here so every hour we should switch partners”

“Oh…so why did we do the whole Rochambo if we’re swapping anyway?” She asks innocently.

Zzoid don’t you dare speak out.

“Might as well start it off randomly” It’s obviously not because I had PinkyS and BC in my group and really ddin’t want that situation “So disperse my fellow squad members and train yourselves!”

I flee before further questioning ensues, taking Baila along with me to a few little wolf whistles from the Zz’s…

Now, what do I begin with?

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Author's Corner: I'm BAAAAAAACK

hey big hiatus cause of RL but omg i've got a massive chapter planned for next week so be exciteeeeeeeed!!!

TCY the chappie that has been takign forever was this next one so ooooh get ready for it!