“So being analled is an unexpected situation?” Miss Nameless repeats after my most ambiguously though explanation.

“Yeeees” Let’s leave it at that shall we?

Finally reaching to the speed blaze fields, I stop them both and get down on all fours ready to sprint.

“Ooh a race?” Miss Nameless gets down on all fours, trying to recreate my bum up position...though with those shorts, really shouldn't be doing that...

“Morons” Anoobis gets down too, because why not, I assume.

“3..2..1..GO” Rocketing up, I burst through the ashen fields, dodging left, right, rolling, jumping over the blazes as they zip around.

-58

OW

Pirouetting past another, I keep sprinting, leaping over a last and in the clear run into the village like a bat out of hell.

I HATE those things…

Looking back towards the other 2, I see Anoobis almost immediately flop beside me, legs burnt yet he’s still alive, while Miss Nameless has slowed down to a walk.

…

..

.

WHAT?

Firstly, she’s out of breath already? I mean I knew she didn’t have the best stamina, but she’s especially weak this time round.

Secondly, she’s just walking….and nothing is touching her!?!

Just what’s going on?!

Although the blazes zip around her, none of them actually get close enough to touch her, hell some even change their direction when they get too close…

“It must be her Fel Aura”

Fel what?

I cast detect magic on her and sure enough her entire body glows blue…oh my.

Wait…

I look at one particular blaze (takes a few tries to actually follow one), seeing that actually it doesn’t touch any of the other blazes…somehow…

So they won’t touch Miss Nameless because they recognize it as magic and therefore as themselves??

“What an odd little concept” Anoobis is on the same page it seems.

She reaches us looking quite sad.

“I lost the race”

“Yep, you shall be punished by magical training”

“Ooooh”

Right, off to work we go!

I sit them down just outside the village, cross-legged.

“Should we really trust you to teach us?” Anoobis opens a doubtful eye.

“Hey, under this gorgeous visage, I have smarts”

“I think both of us can agree that you are not as handsome as you look”

“Ok, I’m not perfect, but I am way more handsome than you Mr Dog nose”

“Well I happen to value my Geniousity over looks”

“Oh how I know that, your Geniousity”

“So we can agree that I am the smartest?”

“Well you are certainly not stupid, but I mean compared to me...”

“I am a genius I know”

“I was going to say you’re the equivalent of a goldfish, but sure don’t let your dreams be dreams”

“I’m sure my dreams are more realistic than the fantasies that cover the image of you, quite fantastical they all are”

“Now now, I know that I am simply magical, but no need to be so modest”

“If I were speak of your…handsomeness without modesty, I would liken it to Monica Lewinsky after visiting the Whitehouse”

“Ah such a thoughtful description of me but I believe you liken more to Consulate Trump”

“Why Joat”

“Why Anoobis”

“Eh, what is going on?”

“Nothing” We turn to her. I’d completely forgot she was there.

Thankfully (?) it doesn’t seem like she understood most of what we talked about…wow she really knows nothing about anything in this century…

Anyways, I claim my position as the teacher and therefore obviously the more intelligent, and get the two of them to close their eyes.

“Now mana is like the air in your lungs. You must breathe and let it expand within you, let it become the Thu’um inside you”

I spot Anoobis opening one cheeky eye.

“Hey, I am part of the cool kids you know”

“The fact that you have to say that…” He shuts his eyes, smarmy smile once again on his face.

“Joat what is a Thu’um?” her vibrant purple yet still dead looking eyes (it’s quite disturbing to look at) spear into mine.

Ah right…this inexplicable lack of basic knowledge will never not surprise me. Might be easier to have her do it (Just had this idea!).

“Imagine your Thu’um growing within your lungs and once it is strong enough you must shout the words, Fus…ROH DAH to unleash your Thu’um to the heavens above”

She takes a deep breath, closing eyes and opening her mouth just slightly

“Fus”

…

..

.

I feel like I just got punched…all over my front, many times over...I don't THINK anything is broken...

“Joat, you alright?” She crawls over me.

I notice a small black wisp leaving her mouth with a quiet unladylike burp as she looks over me; the remnant of that bizarre mixture of dark olive green and dark slate grey wave of air that knocked me flat.

“Yes I’m fine, just a little surprised you did it first try” I sit back up, well that was cool!

“I did? But this window is telling me I didn’t learn the spell because my magical understanding is too low?”

Oh right, I didn’t get her intelligence yet. Hmm, do I really trust her not to kill hers…yea let’s leave the intelligence gaining till the morning.

But then that means she can’t learn any new spells…

Ah, the better question is can she cast the ones she already knows?

“Anoobis, what spells does Miss Nameless have?”

I mean he knows about Fel Aura (whatever that actually does apart from helping her live) which means he should know what her spells are…if she has any.

“Fel Bolt and Fel Healing are the two spells she has”

Ooh, so a damage AND a healing, quite nifty indeed.

“Well Princess, we will practice those two spells ok?”

“Ok!”

“So open up the spell page and tell me the cost”

“10 mana and 1 soul for Fel bolt, and the same for Fel healing”

Ok, so you have neither right now.

“We’re going to get mana first, so continue gathering your Thu’um, but do not release it immediately, let it build to a point where you can still control its release but you must release it for you cannot hold it anymore”

That should let her get mana quite quickly.

While she does that, I take a quick nap.

…

“Fus”

…

..

.

Well that was one way to wake up.

Smearing ash off of my face, once it has been plucked from the ground, I head back over to a cheery looking Miss Nameless.

“I’ve got mana!” She shouts excitedly and I crawl over.

“Good, now we can begin the magic casting” I take out one of my few precious intact shards and hand one to her. “Now cast Soul Collect on that…

“How do I do that?”

“Like your Thu’um..but this time imagine that as it builds up, it does so around the shard in your hand and not in your lungs”

She seems to understand, I hope...

Within maybe a minute or two, I see the shard grow dull, phew...I was actually expecting her hand to blow up or something but luckily it didn't...or things would be bad...very bad.

“It worked!” She gives me a decrepit smile, uh please don’t, it’s pretty gross even, well especially coupled with the cowgirl outfit “But it felt so slimy coming in” Oh my innocence.

“Alright, so to cast Fel bolt, you want to make mana in your hand once more and also imagine that slimy feeling coming back out and joining your mana”

“Uhuh” She holds out her hand and I can see the same dark olive/slate colour meld together before lightening up a few tones, making the colours more vibrant, more alive.

So that must be the soul then.

“Now imagine it shooting out of your hand and into the trees”

She points her hand there and

…

..

.

Nothing…?

“Joat it’s gone”

Huh, what happened?

“Princess could you pass me your Fel Bolt spell?”

She opens her window and sends me a message (at least she’s somehow learnt how to do that).

SPELL:Fel Bolt, Beginner [lvl1]Fel Bolt is the bread and butter damage spell for all Fel Casters. Although it does require both Somatic and Verbal components to castDeals Intelligence + Fel damage

Range: 1 metreCost: 10 mana + 1 Soul, Duration: Instantaneous, Cooldown: Non

Oh my both Somatic and Verbal components…but how?

“Ok, so you need Somatic and Verbal components to cast this spell” She looks rather confused at me saying that ...“You need gestures and words to cast it”

She still looks confused…I can’t dumb it down further you know.

“You’re saying that I require both Somatic and Verbal components, but I have been given neither…so how am I supposed to cast?”

…

..

.

Oh yeah, forgot her language is pretty impeccable…she's got to be some estranged princess locked up in her home in the middle of nowhere...I mean it's the only logical explanation as how she doesn't know how Consulate Trump is...

“Exactly…but then there must be somet…”

…

..

.

“Joat?”

No….it can’t be…but that’d make so much sense.

Taking out the diary, I hand it to Miss Nameless.

“I can’t read any of this” She looks at it like the gibberish it is…Well guess not then, I’m just imagining things!

…

..

.

“Princess, let’s get you Intelligence”

“I have Intelligence” She looks down saddened

“The stat”

“Oh”

Right, so how am I going to do this without getting her…OH! Oh no...

Do I let her do...yeah it'll be fine as long as Sharpy doesn't know...

“Ok, so you see those little blazes out there?”

“Yes”

“Well you need to destroy one, and collect its soul...but be careful they are very dangerous to touch" But she'll have to touch them anyways...if she cries Sharpy might kill me..."Ok?” Let’s hope she understands what I want her to do.

Basically since Anoobis can see the shards, so should she (I found out that Anoobis got a semi-class called Contracted Minion halfway down…what great knowledge that is), and that means she should see them and understand that it is their ‘souls’ and then proceed to grab one.

That should get her Intelligence as it got me.

Sure enough, the plan is figured out quick enough and she’s chasing after one, breath ragged already.

This is going to take a long time

…

Finally she did it!

Only took an hour till she accidentally cornered it between her and the village (which looks like a safe zone so no monsters in here), forcing it to try zip past her.

Only took an ENTIRE hour…because the blaze just didn't want to touch her because of that weird Fel aura.

“Ok, now that you have Intelligence try r-”

“MISTRESS”

…

..

.

Oh no. that’s a Sharpy I hear.

Turning round, sure enough he’s half stomping up towards all 3 of us (Anoobis is still sitting and thinking, well was).

“Krudel, you should’ve seen it! Anoobis and Joat have been An-”

“-PPRENTICING her for magic” Anoobis literally dives to his feet, with a wide innocent smile.

Sharpy looks at us disbelieving.

Oh no, he doesn’t believe us…or if he does then that may still be bad!

“Look” I zip over to Miss Nameless and hand the diary once more.

PLEASE, PLEASE be what I want you to be.

“Direct thumb and middle finger towards either side of target’s head squeeze slightly and say Fl Dlmz” Fel Delmz? That’s definitely not English…

As she reads (somehow!) the vibrant greenish gray (cannot be bothered trying to figure out the mixture of exact colours anymore) streams from her two outstretched and clawed fingers, blasting into either side of Sharpy’s head.

…

..

.

“What happened?” She looks as shocked as the rest of us. Well I’m guessing you cast some dodgy magic…which may or may not have annoyed Sharpy even more than he already may have been from the multiple past things that both I and Anoobis have done to you....

Anoobis heads up towards Sharpy, who looks pretty dazed as he holds his head on the floor “You alright?”

Sharpy doesn’t respond…just going to turn the other way in-case I need to run...

“I’m deaf”

…

..

.

Excuse me what?

“Are any of you speaking?”

“Yes” We all chorus..

“I’m going to assume you are” He stands up and looks towards us...I hope that's the look of I forgive you, though in all truthfulness it's probably the polar opposite.

“Well now we can insult him as much as we like right?” Anoobis whispers over to me.

“I can read lips still you know”

…

..

.

Great…halleluiah I’m not part of this, at all, totally…just going to forget all the numerous insults I was plannign to create...

“Krudel you’re deaf?” Miss Nameless goes up to him, confused as she looks at his ear sockets.

“Yes Mistress, seems like you know magic then… but could you please find something to undo it please?” Guess being deaf isn’t exactly the most comfortable of things…

“I can try” She goes back to looking at the book.

“Day 79, this deafening spell is quite useful, especially so for my play things, they way they cannot hear it, but simply feel it coming. It’s quite arou-”

“THERE isn’t a way to undo your spell” I lightly pick the book away from her, phew, Sharpy can still read lips…oh no.

Sure enough, glancing at him he’s slowly drawing a razorsharp finger across his throat.

*gulp*

“Spells like this will last for a small while and then he will be fine again” Anoobis heads infront of Sharpy, blocking his view to Miss Nameless...because we both know she's going to ask a question.

“Ok, but what was this thing about play things?” Yup, called it...

“Ah, that is someone’s personal diary you are reading there, you should be doing that…only look for instructions on casting a spell next time, please?”

“Ok, but is it wrong to read someone’s personal diary?” Phew delayed the question for now.

Does she not know what a…whatever I guess she doesn’t.

“A personal diary is where you put your innermost feelings, so it shouldn’t be read out loud to others, you understand?”

“Ok, I do”

“Mistress, it is time that we left your…apprenticeship to another time”

*GULP*

Guess he’s not too convinced…we’re so dead. So so dead…when he has free time (thankfully we’ve all been super busy so he hasn’t had the chance to kill us yet…).

“It was great fun” She smiles as she heads towards Sharpy.

The two of them log off, both with their own sort of wave; Sharpy’s more horizontal and through his neck…

Anyways, we SURVIVED!

THAT WAS WAY TOO CLOSE!

Really got to stop saying things in front of her…

“I felt like I was really going to die there” Anoobis blurts out, sighing all the pent up tension away.

“He’ll come for us and then it’ll become a great run”

…

..

.

But until then, let’s do as much as we can.

It’s been about 22 hours now since the beginning of the day, so another 2 hours before the Npc doors open again.

“So what am I going to do for the next 2 hours?” Anoobis ponders to the sky.

“2 MINUTE BREAK” Dillydally along with his Squad Animal + Tikari burst in through the northern gate suddenly, all of them collapsing in a pile.

“You could join Squad Animal”

“No. Way. In Hell…” Guess he doesn’t like the name then, hehe.

“Hey Dillydally” I waltz over to him, he gives me a tired wave from the floor. Jeesh only 3 hours and you’ve brought everyone to the floor on verge of death…this HIT seems to be INTENSE… “Could my friend Anoobis stay with Squad Animal for the rest of the night?”

He takes a look at Anoobis.

“Anoobis is it? Give me 20 pushups”

“Sir no way in hell Sir”

“Sorry Joat, isn’t going to happen. ALRIGHT SQUAD, UP AND AT IT, ONLY 2 MORE HOURS TO GO”

“SIR TIKARI PASSED OUT AGAIN” SirStripy calls as he checks on Tikari, still breathing I hope.

“ALL OF YOU JUMPING JACKS TILL SHE STANDS UP”

“SIR YES SIR”

Perfectly uncomplaining group of people, I really need to learn what Dillydally is doing to make them so orderly.

They all begin jumping jacks; each giving their all as it seems like that’s all they’ve got left in them…

“Why are we all doing so many for her?” The Alligator-beastlady with a scaly green body and long, sharp mouth complains slightly while she does what must be the 100th jumping jack.

“Well Allie, unlike Tikari who doesn’t looks like she’s had much exercise in her life, you’ve got more stamina than most of us” Jerriah points out in ragged breaths.

“Plus she’s cuter” Gristle grumbles as his hooves mark the earth.

“Oh c’mon” Allie complains while the rest of the squad nod, even Dillydally who is doing jumping jacks with them. Leading by example, looks like it’s had hell of an effect.

Well I’ve got 2 hours to spare…so might as well have a little fun and learn how this all works…by watching

…

Hell in pure bold capitals…

“J 5” Gristle yells, causing Allie the alligator-beastlady to be pushed by Jerriah, out of the way of the zipping blaze and onto the floor where SirStripy uses her as a springboard over another zipping blaze, landing into Yinroh’s arms safely.

Snorh leaps over Allie landing hands first into the ash when she grabs hold of his ankles and he pulls at the earth, wrenching her to standing and him in a wheelbarrow position.

They keep moving, dodging left, right, stopping abruptly before a passing blaze, Snorh going into a handstand, while Allie dives over the blaze into a handstand. Both synchronously push off into a somersault and onto their feet.

“KOOKLE WHAT KIND OF ROLL WAS THAT, 5 PUSHUPS NOW” Dillydally yells as he catches ragreud swiveling with him and tossing him across towards a hopping Kandien.

Kookle, rooster-beastman drops to the floor and does the fastest 5 pushups I’ve ever seen in my life; he had grabbed the earth so that when he pushed off he pulled himself back down against his momentum.

Just in time too as he pushes himself back to standing right as a blaze zips past where his face was but seconds ago

…

..

.

Just how in the name of Aiag are they doing this?!

IT MUST BE A SKILL! IT MUST BE MANY SKILLS, OOOOOOOOOOOH!

I mean they’ve been at this for a good part of 10 minutes that I’ve watched…but I know they’ve been doing this for more than 2 hours now!

I mean they’re not only dodging, they’re actually killing the blazes too;

“READY” Kandien shouts as he gets up from a roll.

“KANDY 6 T” Squirrel shouts out from the sidelines and Kandien responds by swiveling round and kicking the blaze in the tail region, causing it to burst into nothing.

Slowly but surely, they seem to be exterminating the blazes one by one while somehow dodging the rest of them…

Anoobis finally sits down next to me, seemingly bored of trying to do things by himself.

He hands me the well bucket, filled. Oh thank Aiag!

Gulping down the water, I see that my satiety bar goes up to a third full.

Apparently water will get you to 60 satiety but no more…which means I won’t starve...But your hp regen is that much slower.

So I’m actually feeling slight pity for those poor fools out there, probably on the verge of death in terms of both hunger and health

…

..

.

Though they do seem to be surviving without too many problems…it’s definitely a skill!

Ooh I can almost taste it!

But if I have to go through that Hell…totally worth it, but not right now…way too tired.

“So do I really look like Monica when she leaves the Whitehouse?” I turn to Anoobis as he smirks at the chaos that is the blaze fields.

“Nah, you’re more like the old school Ronaldo” He gives me that smarmy smile of his, cheeky little bugger

“You actually watched him back then?” I mean that was jeez, a long time ago. Man retired 10 years ago maybe? I’m actually amazed Anoobis knows about him…not many people do nowadays, well the younger ones anyways.

Maybe he’s not as young as I think…

“God no, may football rot in a ditch somewhere; he’s just pretty prominent in showing us what surgery can do”

“Amen to th-”

“YINROH THAT WAS A FOUL SOMERSAULT, ALL OF YOU 5 SOMERSAULTS AS PUNSIHMENT” Dillydally shouts voice still strong as he too jumps and does a perfect little somersault in the air before landing and pirouetting through 2 blazes, somehow he's got time to watch the others while in the middle of blaze traffic.

The others don’t fare as well and a few get burns, switching out with Gristle and Midgrellik, who uncomplaining take over.

Gristle is not going to do well.

“So what’s your plan for the day, since I’m going to be busy doing some leatherworking” I’ve still got to cash in on a promise I made…

“Honestly I’m thinking of taking the day off…Halloween and all, need to prepare” He looks excitedly to the distance, ignoring Gristle half screaming as constantly hops around quite comically.

Jeez preparing from 8 am, well he’s excited isn’t he…hmm maybe I should rethink my costume…nah, it’s a decent costume.

“Almost forgot about that, you think they’ll do something for ARIA?”

“You think this needs a change to become freakier?” He points towards the burnt landscape…fair enough it’s already quite hellish…

We watch Snorh jump onto SirStripy who half angrily, half jokingly complain at his cowardice, all while dodging some blazes…seriously how is no one dead yet.

Kandien slips and dies…and like a pack of dominoes they all start falling, since Allie lands where Kandien was supposed to catch her and burns to death leaving Midgrellik no stand to jump over another blaze which in turn kills Gristle...or maybe Gristle just had no chance when he was inadvertently swarmed by all sides...

“SAFETY” Someone yells and everyone immediately rushes out of the sea of blazes and back into the village, survivors collapsing on the floor, Dillydally even resting his hands on his knees.

“Dammit, less than 3 hours” he shakes his head but still I’m impressed that they lasted that long (seeing as though 2 hits is death…) “ALRIGHT EVERYONE, WE BREAK UP FOR THE NIGHT, BE BACK IN 1 HOUR AND A HALF”

“SIR YES SIR” All scream their last hoarse breath before just simply lying there panting away. I don’t think they have the strength to press the log out button…

“Well guess I’ll see you all then” Anoobis logs off and I go to log off (finally).

“FREEEEEEEDOOOOOOOM”

…

..

.

That sounded oddly like…IT’S ZZOID!

Waving towards the zombie-like shambling lizard-beastman who stumbles out of the Blacksmith’s door along with 11 others, all likening to the walking dead…even moaning as the shuffle towards me.

“Zzoid where’s everyone else?” I do note he has a nice shiny sword with him…ooh.

I did notice Anoobis had carried around a broken sword but the look on his eyes did tell me not to ask…

“Still stuck in that HeOLY SHIIIIMMYCHANGAS WHAT HAPPENED HERE?” He and the others look flabbergasted at the desecrated treeline and fields filled with zipping blazes…

No idea why he didn’t swea…oh hey Charmine…thaaat’s why (I know it by instinct…and the way BC looked at Zzoid, eyes almost throttling him…).

“Well, you know how we burnt down the forest…”

…

…