I had picked a snazzy-looking, silky grey robe amongs the clothing’s that was given to me for tonight. After showering and preparing myself, I had heard the Ethka vibrated a while ago, so I think an hour had passed.

After exiting the Fhagec and informing Erganisu, who was writing on his diary on where I was going, I walked with a cheerful gait. Looking up at the night sky, there were barely any cloud obfuscating the innumerable stars that shines and the various moons up above.

It was as though, it became a theatre that was opened solely for the two of us.

As I made my way, I saw a familiar figure on the wayside. It was that same elven girl that had repeatedly chanting the Origin Circle and who had denied my existence.

I learned my lesson and right off the bat, I walked passed her. It was only a glance but I noticed that she looked much better than last time. I did saw her during dinner so it seems like she learned her lesson too.

After some walking, I reached the field and I saw Vefal, already sitting on the ground while gazing up above.

I walked quietly towards her.

She didn’t react but I think she noticed as soon as I had arrived on the field. I looked towards portal and saw the guard resting beside it. It was the old guard. So he was assign on the night shift while Nytar covers the day shift huh?

“Took you a while.”

She said that without changing her sight that was still looking at the sky.

I sat beside her and followed her gazes.

She wasn’t staring at anything particular but I felt that she was trying to see further into the night sky.

“They said that amongs all these stars, the brightest star are always the furthest.”

“And the brightest star is actually on the brink of its lifespan.”

“Eh, really?”

Vefal turned her face and looked at me with slight surprise.

“Yup, you see those stars up there are the suns of another galaxies. A dying star is a dying sun that shines the brightest, unfortunately or fortunately depends on how you look at it. It’s the same for some people, the moment when they are at their peak is when they’re about to die.”

During the climax of their life, every essence, every atom, everything about them shines fiercely like it was a monument that they had been there, the self-evident work of a beautiful causality and the mysteries of the universe.

We both looked again towards the sky. After a few seconds of pondering,-

“… Dying is scaring. Some people die without wanting to, right?”

She muttered simply.

I agree too. I think death should only be embrace when we’re truly tired of being alive. That sort of feeling is the sort where it’s like the first sensation although never in my life had I experienced where I am tired of living.

“Is it okay, if I share something with you?”

Her voice lowered as though she was wary of my response.

We only known each other for four days and yet we ‘clicked’ and developed a close bond quickly. Perhaps all those punches and kicks was the main factor of a catalyst in accelerating our bond.

“It’s quite alright; you’re my first training partner, so share away.”

I soothed her anxiety by replying lightly. I could hear her exhaling with relief.

“… I was reminded of my fear. The shape, the size and down to even the colour of the pill were the same.”

I smooched closer to her because the words that were coming out from her were a squeak. She was also trembling.

“This is one of my deepest fears.”

-(Third POV)-

Everything sounded muffled for her. Only the sound of gasping and rough-breathing was heard by her although only barely.

Inside this small, barricaded room where the air was stale and suffocating, Vefal Striden was slumping against the wall on the left side near the only door of the room. There were no windows in this room because the room was in an underground area.

Why was Vefal Striden inside this room? It was simple; it was because Vefal Striden was no ordinary soldier. She was an infiltrator, a spy. Due to Atras being led by a decadent and foolish ruler, there were dissidents and plotters amongs the nation trying to overthrow the current establishment.

But the ruler had a cadre of cunning and resourceful advisors and those advisors had devised countless of countermeasures against such threats. One of those countermeasures was spying on their own military. In order to prevent the army from revolting, they put spies’ amongs every rank in the Royal Army.

Vefal was one of the spies. She was picked due to her emotionless exterior and so she was trained thoroughly as a spy.

After she finished her training, unfortunately for her, she was sent to a faraway post near the border. She was also sent along with her brother who unbeknownst to him, didn’t realized that she was a spy.

She had been given an oath to not reveal of her status except to her fellow infiltrators.

There were about five more of the spies sent to this remote post aside from Vefal. And now, all four of them had died. A revolt had happened and the loyalist and the rebels had clashed.

Naturally, all the spies had infiltrated the rebels and began their espionage but their activities was soon discovered and they were marked for death.

Two of them died while fleeing but inside the room….

There were two of them that are still alive and the other two was dead.

For a spy, being captured means that you would be interrogated, tortured and kept alive for as long as they let you. It was a fate far worse than death. It was not acceptable for a spy to be captured, so each spy was provided with a single way to avoid such fate.

Vefal, on an irregular interval, had checked inside her right side of the pocket and took it out and put it back again for several time. It was a peculiar object of grey colour, a spherical-shaped pill. It was what a spy would call a suicide pill.

As of now, Vefal was in a dire state of mind.

“Hey, do you want to take it first?”

Opposite of Vefal was another female spy. She, with a rasping tone of a voice, asked Vefal. It had been days since they had been here.

On the first day they had arrived at this particular basement room hidden from the enemies but still they prowled about the area above. All four of them had felt relief as they had eluded the hunt but the enemies were still around as they heard footsteps from the ceiling of the room. The second day, with no foods and personal space around, they felt anxious and wanted to leave the room but due to the still incessant noises up above, they couldn’t risk being found out.

On the third day, the other two spies, a male and a female, whom Vefal assumed that they were in a relationship, decided to take up their own life. Although they hesitated at first, they took them together.

It was then the horror ensued.

Every spy had thought that the pill would give them a quick and painless death but what had happened in front of Vefal was anything but that.

After they had taken the pills, nothing at first happened until both of them started to spasm at the same time. As they spasm, their eyes went bloodshot and they began clawing their own chest. Their veins started to line purple as they clawed and dug through their skin. They screamed wordlessly for it had looked as their throat has swollen, blocking any sound coming from their mouth as only the sound of struggling to breathe and the sound of them thrashing about was the only noise inside the room.

Vefal and the other spy were holding their breath watching this cruel display as their mind had blanked out.

It went for an hour.

It was a violent and senseless death for both of them. Their bodies were bloated in purple and their entire front was viciously eviscerated by crude fingernails with their ribcage jutting out unevenly and damaged parts of organs were scattered around them.

Their face was locked in an indescribable agony and their mouth was wide opened in a shocking gape.

This image was burned into the memories of Vefal as she silently stared at the mutilated corpses of her former comrades.

She turned towards the spy opposite of her. It must have been the same for her as she was petrified with intense horror, fear and revulsion.

Vefal while trembling took out the suicide pill and stared it for a long time.

--

On the fourth day, the day of the current situation where the female spy had contemplated on taking the pill even after knowing the consequence. At any given moment, they would be discovered by rebels, so time was against them but they held on to the sliver of hope that rescue would arrived.

Weakened from hunger and thirst, the room was reek with the smell of decays and putrefactions.

“Do you want to take it first or we take it together?”

The female spy asked again with her now straining voice. Vefal had no energy to reply back but it was also because she was unable to decide. It was between waiting in constant pain for a rescue which was unlikely or dies a horrible death from the suicide pill. Both choices were sadistic.

She never wanted this. She had thought that if she just does her job right, everything will sort out by itself. Yet, here she was, on the brink of death in the worst condition for any living being, clinging to her life in a barely visible hope.

“I’m tired. I’m tired of all this pain and suffering. I just wanted to live a life worth living. I never wanted to cause death and betrayed the people around me. I don’t wanna die this way. I wanna fall in love, I wanna to see the Kingdom, I wanna die surrounded by my loved ones… but I can’t now, can I? Since we’re both so weak right now that we can’t kill ourselves or each other, I guess this is the only way.”

She muttered that with resignation and with no notion of clinging to her life anymore. She had given up.

The female spy took out her pill and without delaying, popped it into her mouth.

Her death was less violent as she had no strength to hurt herself but it was no less traumatic. This was the second death by the suicide pill which had burned itself on Vefal’s memories.

Vefal had always kept the relationship between the spies as professional but she realized that they were just like her. They had dreams, hopes and things they wanted to fulfil.

As of now, she was the last one inside the room alive. She however, still clings to whatever hope she has but it was fading.

--

How has it been? Vefal had lost count of the time. The long, torturous hours inside the room had greatly traumatized Vefal. When her strength draws near to an end and she felt that the last string of life was about to be cut off, after taking and staring at pill several times, she decided. It was the only way.

As the pill slowly brought towards her mouth, Vefal swore that she had heard the sound of running footsteps outside the door but she already made her resolve.

Just as the pill was near her mouth, the door burst opened.

She stopped and painfully turned her around to the entrance. It was one of the faces she had reminisced before she decided to take her own life.

“Vefal.”

With arrival of her elder brother, Kiefy, She was rescued.