Caleb looked over the course that was set up for the game. Various obstacles had been placed around to give cover to both the attackers and defenders. He looked over at the enemy's flag sitting at the end of the course. It was set atop a small fort and already two of the soldiers had stationed themselves in it. Not that it would help much.

Caleb didn't have to worry about his own flag, he was the attacker this time which meant he didn't have one. He held Bat up to him as the countdown for the game started. "You ready?" He asked it. Bat nodded in agreement.

The count hit zero and Caleb went forth at a leisurely pace. The enemy soldiers shot their bullets at him, the same goo pellets as before. But this time Caleb wasn't wearing the armor meant for the game. The pellets struck against Caleb's clothes but bounced straight off his body. He walked through a blizzard of goo with his bat at the ready.

The soldiers, seeing their guns did nothing, switched over to their melee weapons, and charged at him. The first reached him, eager to prove he had what it took to fight in the Varnoss armies. "Taste the might of Varnoss!" He yelled as he swung down a mighty two-handed sword.

Caleb let it hit him. The sword slapped down onto his shoulder, only cutting through the fabric of his shirt. "Could you be more careful?" Caleb asked. "I don't want to lose another shirt today." Grunting in surprise, the soldier swung again, this time aiming right at Caleb's midsection. Once again only fabric was cut as the sword slapped against Caleb's body.

"What did I just say?" He said, swinging Bat to knock the attacker upside the head. "Some people just don't listen, do they Bat."

Bat nodded sagely.

The groaning warrior was replaced by another eager soldier, this one with a spear. They stabbed out at Caleb, ripping holes into his shirt and pants as they tried to find a weak point. Caleb poked him in the nose with Bat. The soldier recoiled and tripped over his companion, smacking their head against the ground. Caleb shook his head. "They don't make goons like they used to do they?"

Now wary, two more soldiers stepped in Caleb's path. Both held onto short spears and shields. A tan glow shone over the two's bodies and they walked forward slowly. Caleb looked to his right and saw some cover. He ran over to it and jumped over. "See ya!" He said as he ran away.

The two soldiers were more cautious than most and didn't follow. "Dang I wanted to turn back and smack one in the head," Caleb said. Instead, he watched as the two kept him in sight and retreated back to the small fort. They joined the two still at the fort and sat readied their shields to defend the flag.

The final three were positioned between Caleb and the fort. Two were still firing shots at him while the last had readied a large tower shield and sword to fight him. "What to do, what to do?" Caleb pondered. He tapped Bat on the side of his head.

"I know!" He said. Caleb crouched down into a sprinter's start and counted down. "Three, two, one, go!"

He dashed forwards straight toward the tower shield, shoulder bent low. Seeing this, the soldier braced himself for an impact behind the shield. The bracing forced him to crouch, limiting his vision. This let Caleb twist to the right and slip past the man and into the soldiers with guns. A quick tap with his bat on the fingers forced them to drop it. "Didn't your mothers tell you to never play with guns?" He chided.

The two soldiers looked at him and drew twin short swords. They spun in a dance of death, slashing and cutting at Caleb. Caleb, in turn, hit out with Bat when they made a strike. "One two three, one two three." He said. Each strike hit at the same time but the soldiers were the ones taking the worst of it. Caleb received a few more gashes in his shirt for the trouble. With one more counterstrike, the two soldiers fell in a heap, unconscious.

The tower shield soldier had turned around to help but couldn't get in a good attack without harming his teammates. Now it was between him and Caleb. "I'm really not sure how to deal with you," Caleb said. "I doubt Bat can reach around your shield."

The soldier smiled, teeth bared. He charged forward with his shield, forcing Caleb to the side. "Ole!" Caleb called as he dodged. He spun around to strike with Bat but hit only metal. Bat rang out in anger.

"Look what you did!" Caleb cried. "You made him angry!"

In a burst of movement, Caleb dashed at the soldier, bat held up to strike down. The soldier lifted the shield up to block the blow and prepared to counterattack. Once again, the soldier's vision was limited and Caleb took advantage. He threw bat before reaching the soldier. In turn, the soldier slashed out with his sword, only to find air as his foe.

The swing forced the soldier to overreach and Caleb took advantage by grabbing the soldier's exposed head and pulling. The soldier fell to the ground, shield clattering. Caleb took the chance to pick up Bat and swing it at the recovering soldier. It hit him square on the jaw, shattering it and knocking him down. "Home run!" Caleb shouted.

All that was left were the four in the fort. They had set themselves up to block Caleb from walking up into the fort and grabbing the flag. Caleb sat down next to the downed guards. "Bat, I don't think they want to let us up there?" He said.

Bat nodded in agreement.

"Well then, what say we make them?" Caleb grabbed one of the guns off the downed soldiers and aimed it in the direction of the fort. These goo guns were using actual ammunition and not some strange faith-based powers so Caleb was able to fire shot after shot. Goo splattered against the walls as the soldiers took cover.

He charged forward, screaming a warcry as he shot goo at the defending soldiers. The four were forced to take cover inside, which let Caleb waltz right in. "You should really think about getting some doors." He said. "This place seems really drafty."

Caleb fired off the last of the goo pellets and actually managed to hit one of the defending soldiers in the mouth. "Ha! How do you like my load?" Caleb teased. The other three soldiers charged forwards. Caleb threw the gun at the one to his right and swung Bat down at the one on the left without a shield. It was blocked and the three took the initiative to strike.

Caleb's shirt fell away in tatters, exposing unblemished skin. Caleb crossed his arms over his chest. "Aaa! Don't look perverts!" He shrilled. One of the aliens actually turned away. Caleb took the chance and bonked them over the head with Bat. "Psyche!" He called out.

There were only two between Caleb and the flag now. Scratch that, the two were away from the steps leading up the fort. Caleb turned with a "See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya." And dashed up, taking the steps two at a time. The soldiers followed but weren't able to catch up with Caleb's head start against them. He grabbed the flag off the pedestal and turned. The two remaining soldiers were blocking the exit down. Caleb saluted and jumped off the side.

Ha landed with a thwap and jumped up. "It's been fun boys but I gotta get home to mama with the flag. She don't like it none when I'm late." Caleb drawled out as he ran back to his base. He planted the flag and posed. "One small step for man," He said.

The buzzer sounded, signaling that Caleb had won the game. He looked over at Delarossa. "Whatcha think boss?"

The commander said nothing, only surveying the battlefield. "It seems like you were right, I did not need to try and teach you combat."

"School of hard knocks taught me that," Caleb replied.

"Well, since you are ready we'll send you out ASAP. The Planet Cripto is in desperate need of reinforcements. You will be aiding them."

"Yeah alright, long as I get a new shirt. Don't wanna go walking around with my tits hanging out you know."

"I was under the impression you were male."

"Wow, sexist much?"

Caleb was led away back to his chamber where a new shirt was given to him. It was a dull grey, like everything these aliens had. "Can't they make something with color?" He complained.

"No, aliens stupid." Gobo said.

Caleb's practice with Gobo was finally paying off. The little monster could hold an actual conversation with Caleb now.

"You're right they are a bit dumb," Caleb said. "None of them really thought through things in the fight. Just stuck to their training."

"Thinking important," Gobo said in agreement.

"Too right buddy," Caleb nodded.

A hiss signaled the door to his room opening. Gobo dove under the counter where he silently hid in the cupboard amongst the pots and pans. Delarossa entered the room, along with his brother.

"Hello there. I thought we were done with the whole talking to each other thing." Caleb said.

Delarossa nodded, the sarcasm lost on him. "I agree, but Sorossa has told me he was in contact with one of our glorious Emoters and they have requested to meet with you."

"Oh gosh, an Emoter wants to meet with little old me? I'm… I'm honored." Caleb said. He put his hand over his heart and made a look of surprise appear over his face.

"As you should be, Emoters directly translate the Emperor's divine words so us normal people can hear them. As such, we will be taking you to Varnoss first."

"The planet is named Varnoss?" Caleb asked.

"Yes," Delarossa replied.

"And the empire, it's named Varnoss?" Caleb continued.

"Yes," Delarossa replied.

"And you don't get confused? Like, at all?"

"I don't see why we should," Delarossa answered. "Anyways, we will be there in ten of your earth days."

Delarossa walked out followed by his brother, the former's military boots clanging down the walkway.

"Well Gobo, it looks like I get to meet an emperor," Caleb said.

"Fuck," Gobo replied.