New World Day 14

After the creature escaped, my first worry was that some of its subordinates would come to finish the job. I needed to get out of this place and back to my basement hideout pronto, and I wasn’t going to be able to go that entire distance with a sword stuck in my side. Blood continued to pour down my right side and I left a clear trail of blood behind me as I staggered back down the hallway of the house to the bathroom. The parts of my clothes that weren’t soaked with blood were soaked with sweat by the time I reached the bathroom. I yanked open the medicine cabinet doors, but I didn’t find any medical wraps or gauze that I could use. Plan B then. I limped into the bedroom across the hall, dropped the shotgun to the ground, and tore the sheets off of the bed. My mana enhanced strength let me tear the sheets into wide strips despite my wounds, but I grimaced in pain every time I moved my right side.

Once I had a number of strips ready, I took the axe from the loop on the left side of my jeans and used it to cut the lower half of my shirt off. I smacked my forehead with my left hand when I realized how stupid I had been. I should have used it for the sheets as well. The pain was affecting me even more than I had realized. I wanted to continue chastising myself, but now wasn’t the time for distractions. I was already sweating and trembling like crazy. I needed to get this sword out of me and the bleeding stopped before I bled out so much that even my regeneration skill couldn't save me. My mana ran out at this point, but I didn’t need a lot of strength for what came next. Just a steady hand. I kneeled down on the bedroom floor, put both hands on the sword handle, closed my eyes, and concentrated on my breathing for a moment. One long breath in, one long breath out. My body stopped trembling for a moment at the end of the exhale. That was when my eyes popped open, and in one smooth motion, I pulled the sword straight out of body without the slightest deviation in any direction.

I dropped the sword to the ground as soon as it was out of my body, and the trembling resumed as my concentration wavered. I nearly keeled over then and there due to a mixture of pain and relief. Now that the sword was out, the sharp edges couldn’t cause any additional injuries due to the trembling, and the pain wracking my body diminished to more manageable levels. I reached for the strips I had made from the sheets and wound them tightly around my entire chest before too much blood could flood out of the now open wound. I wound four layers of sheets around my chest and put a knot in each of them to keep pressure on the wound and to keep them from slipping down. The sheets were so tight that it was a little hard to breathe, but that was a much better problem to have than bleeding out. I put the axe back through the loop in my jeans, wrapped the sword up in the remaining strips of cloth, and stuffed it in my backpack. The last thing I did before I stood up was sling the shotgun over my left shoulder. Time to get moving. I used up too much time already treating my wound.

I could walk with a minimal amount of pain without the sword jostling around in my side. A smile came unbidden to my lips as that thought floated through my mind. Ha, minimal amount of pain eh? This level of pain would have been crippling to the me from the Old World. Just two weeks since the beginning of the New World, and I was amazed by the massive changes in my mentality. So far I felt that I had changed in positive ways, but I needed to keep an eye out for more negative changes. It would be all to easy to start down a dark path without realizing it. I had no one around to remind me of what was right and wrong and hold me accountable for my actions. I had to hold myself accountable and strive to hold true to my own ideals. My mind wandered more and more from the problem at hand.

As I limped, staggered, and stumbled down the road towards my basement hideout, I couldn't help but wonder what my ideals were. I could tell myself all I wanted to hold true to my ideals, but if I didn’t even know what they were then what was the point? Two weeks ago I was your average college graduate. My greatest worry had been finding a path forward in life that wouldn’t send me spiraling back into depression. Depression forced me to confront my inner demons. It made me start a search for something that I could do with my life that I would find meaningful. However, I had yet to find such a thing before the New World came about, and there was no event in my life until now that forced me to confront what I really stood for when everything was on the line.

My mood became more and more gloomy as I realized that I had no idea what my ideals truly were. I knew I was stubborn, but that was just a personality trait, not an ideal. Dark thoughts welled up in my mind. Whispers that asked me if maybe it wasn’t better to just let everything end? I didn’t have anything that I truly stood for after all. Nothing that I would die for. Nothing that I would sacrifice my life for. A corner of my mind tried to scream that I had my family. That I would stand for them. That I would die for them, but those screams were drowned out by the incessant whispers. Why not just let it end? The world would be better off without a waste like me in it right? Even if I would give up everything to protect my family, I was too weak to protect them anyways. They would be better off without a weakling like me. The devilish whispers continued to grow in intensity, and as they did my legs grew heavier and my pace slowed. The pain that I thought I had conquered welled up from inside of me and drove me to my knees. There were two clatters as the butts of the shotgun and the axe hit the blacktop road. My breathing came in short stuttering gasps as I knelt there in the middle of the road. I pressed my hands against the wound in my side in a futile attempt to force the pain to subside. The pressure only made the pain grow ever worse, and as I contemplated finishing what the creature had started, the memory of our interactions and fighting played itself over and over in my mind like a skipping record. Why did I keep seeing those memories? What was my pain addled mind trying to tell me? That the whispers were right? That I was a failure? That I should have just let the creature kill me?

As the memory started back over again in my mind, I watched as I spoke with the creature and gave it a chance to get close enough to attack. So stupid, why didn’t I shoot it as soon as it entered my line of sight? If I shot it right away then I wouldn’t be suffering like this right now. I would still have a chance to see my family again. I wouldn’t have to die alone on a road in the middle of nowhere. Was I suicidal? That would explain why I had kept making the same mistakes over and over again and why I took the risk to investigate the barn and cook outside more than once. Were all of those decisions an attempt to kill myself without doing the deed myself, and why the frikken hell did I keep seeing this same damn memory again? A new whisper slipped into my mind as I watched that moment over and over again. The previous whispers had been in my voice, but this one was different. It was a voice that I had never heard before. It was powerful, sly, and seductive. It said, “Weakness is not a sin. If you are weak then you just need to get stronger, and you have shown promise. A lot of promise. You just need a push in the right direction. Do you want pow…..”

Ah! AH! AHHHHH! A revelation broke through and interrupted the odd voice before it could finish its pitch. I knew why I kept replaying those memories in my mind. My unconscious mind was trying to tell me that I had stood up for something. That I made a conscious choice to try and talk things out instead of just blasting away at everything I encountered. The dark thoughts and devilish whispers faded away and other memories started to return to me. Memories of my family and better, happier times. I already found an ideal to follow. It's just that my own worries, pains, and failings kept me from seeing it until now. It was a bit simplistic and others would call it naive, but it worked for me. I would give the new creatures that I encountered a chance. A chance where we could prove to each other that there was more to us and this world than the savagery and chaos that now filled it to the brim. That was an ideal worth sticking to, and if the creatures that I encountered did not wish to rise above the chaos, then I would do what had to be done to protect myself and those I cared about. Lost in the revelatory tide was the memory of the voice and its temptations.

Strength returned to my body as I broke free from the spiral of depression that had set upon me. I forced myself to my feet with newfound determination and strode down the road to my home. Pain and exhaustion forced my body to slump and stagger along the way, but if someone could see my eyes, then they would see that they were clearer than they ever had been before. I felt that near death experiences shoved a mirror in your face and forced you to see the truth of matters for good or ill. I had been lost in darkness and indecision, searching for a path forward in the Old World, but now I had caught hold of something solid that could drive away the shadows and illuminate the path forward. That was the thought that drove me forward all the way to the house. I came across the scene of a large fight between goblins and forest coyotes as I made my way down the winding road. There were eight dead goblins and twice that many forest coyotes. It must not be easy to tame the forest coyotes, and this fight answered a number of questions for me such as why the creature had been alone and whose blood was dripping from the sword. I wanted to investigate the site of the fight, but my strength was fading. I had to keep going or else I might never make it back. I only had the strength to open the garage door halfway up by the time by the time I arrived. I crouched down and used my shoulders to keep the door open long enough to limp inside.

I locked the door with an unsteady hand before I slipped off the backpack and shotgun and let them fall to the floor right inside the garage. Then I pulled the axe out from the loop on my jeans and dropped it next to everything else. Enough strength remained in my body to lurch over to the inner wall of the garage once I was freed from the extra weight of my backpack and weapons. I leaned hard against the wall and used it to make my way into the bedroom and then the bathroom. I grabbed the last two rolls of gauze from the cabinets and replaced the blood soaked sheets with it. I wanted to just lay there and fall asleep just like I did with the burns, but I one more stop remained. I walked on jelly like legs to the workshop where I drank an entire bucket of water. Now I could sleep!

Skill learned! Fear Control (B) ***

Fear Control (B) *** LVL 1 0% : This skill represents the user’s ability to control the fear that they feel. The rank of the skill will increase with every ten levels. It is a rare skill that allows the user to actively control the fear that they are currently feeling. The higher the rank the easier it is to control the fear and the more fear the user can control. Higher rarities allow the user to help others to control their fear and/or use the fear to power other skills.

Name: Jason Silver

Job Name: N/A

LVL: 8 48%

Job LVL: N/A 0%

Job Points:

N/A

N/A

N/A

Titles:

Survivor (B) LVL 9 76%

Fool (B) LVL 9 80%

Swarm Killer (B) LVL 9 31%

Beast Killer (B) LVL 9 49%

Risk Taker (B) LVL 8 31%

Repeated Risk Taker ( C ) LVL 7 15%

Compassionate Fool ( C ) LVL 5 26%

Curious Fool ( C ) LVL 4 92%

Stupid Fool ( C ) LVL 5 57%

Extremely Stubborn Fool ( C ) LVL 4 70%

Greater Mana Wielder ® LVL N/A

Title Points:

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5

Stats:

HP:

MP:

Mana Regen:

Endurance:

Strength:

Speed:

Spirit

Bonus Points:

21/135

46/46

12 per min (-2.75)

15

10

11

8

28

Status Effects:

Regen, Spirit Regen, Disease Resist, Parasite Resist,

Poison Resist, Large Stab Wound,

Bleeding x2, Internal Bleeding x4

Skills:

Basic Axe Mastery (B) LVL 8 66%

Basic Gun Mastery (B) LVL 5 61%

Minor Regen (Passive) ( C ) LVL 8 64%

MInor Spirit Regen (Passive) ( C ) LVL 2 40%

Basic Disease Resist (Passive) (B) LVL 9 89%

Basic Parasite Resist (Passive) (B) LVL 9 95%

Basic Poison Resist (Passive) (B) LVL 8 99%

Minor Mana Control ( C ) LVL 5 84%

Greater Mana Vein (Passive) ( R ) LVL 1 0%

Flexible Mana Lake (Passive) (B) LVL 1 0%

Pain Control (B) LVL 3 77%

Fear Control (B) LVL 1 0%

Basic Close Combat Footwork (Active) (B) LVL 3 44%

Basic Ranged Combat Footwork (Active) (B) LVL 3 59%

Basic Barrier Runes (Active) (B) LVL 4 19%

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