I had no other choice but to talk to the staff. The customers simply couldn't be trusted. I started by asking an employee stocking shelves, but he probably didn't hear me properly because he tried giving me directions to find the hippo-shaped breakfast cereal.

I went to the deli next, "Hey, have you seen the hippos out there?" I asked the man behind the counter, slicing the meat.

"What hippo! We ain't got no hippos back here, only Boars Head, Black Forest, and Dietz Watson." The man shouted across the counter.

"No, I mean the ones outside. You know the two hippos about to rage war in the parking lot." I said.

"Now, I told you we ain't got no hippos. Did you want some deli meat or not?" His face was turned red as a cherry, and his eyes narrowed to the point I could barely see his pupils. He is either having a bad day or really doesn't like hippos.

"Uh yes, sir, I'll take 2 pounds of the Boars Head Turkey, uh can you separate the pounds in two different bags? The other is for someone else," I said. A pound for me and a pound to throw at the hippos as a distraction.