《The Rude Time Stopper》Chapter 150 Someone Worth Living For
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Sorry for not updating this story for an entire 2 weeks I have school work to do so I don't have a lot of time lately,but that doesn't mean I am going to give up when it turns summer again the activity of my writing is going to sky rocket again so please stay tuned everyone and I hope you enjoy reading !
===========================Scar's P.O.V==================================
All my life,I felt as if the whole world was against me.
My effort and dreams all seemed as if they were just a fiddle piece of entertainment to someone above,at any given time always on the verge of breaking apart making me despair and ask myself.
Why ?
I would ask no one in particular,but also asking anyone in this entire world just to give me a straight answer,but even when I ask,I knew,no one would answer,no one would come forward and tell me why it was so unfair so unjust and so utterly sad.
Sometimes I feel as if I should just give up and stop trying already,throwing away the weights on my shoulders and move on,I knew that even my parents would want that,I felt as if that was far more easier then what I was trying to do now and in a sense it was.
But then you also might ask.
Why didn't I do it already ? Why am I still trying to struggle ?
The answer was pretty easy actually it was those words that came from my old man too something I held dear in my heart even after all these years.
There are people in this world who are worth living for.
-Scarlet,having ambition is good,but don't rush it,if you do you are most likely to fall,instead take it slow learn from your mistakes and finally go forward,remember your mother and I will always be at your back supporting you,even if we aren't here anymore by your side we will never stop caring for you.You know why ? Because you are the reason we live in this world which is why you should also find that someone to live for my little girl it makes live so much more better if you do...
Father once said,at the time I couldn't understand the weight or meaning behind those words,I was very small back then probably only 8 to 9 years old my father and I had those one in a week get together's that we did when he came back from the military to visit his family,back then he always used to bring me to the arena and let me watch the arena fights together with him and even though I didn't understand what he meant back then I still held those words dear to my heart as my father was the one person in this world who I admired most,I never once forget any of the things we did together because I always thought that if I don't hold those moments dear I would quickly forget about my hard working father whom I loved a lot.
After all my father was quite the busy man in this world being an admiral of an entire army wasn't easy,but for some reason he always made it look like child's play and even though he was always busy he never neglected his family,not even once coming back home like always visiting me and my mother with a huge smile on his face and spending time with us until he would get drafted back to the army again.
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I could still remember that bright and loving smile he had on his face the memory seemed just as fresh inside my head as if it was only yesterday when the nightmare didn't start to engulf my entire life,pushing me towards despair from a time that was more simpler where I was more innocent and clueless of the world behind my home.
But it is very different now.
I used to have serious doubts whether or not these days would ever come back to me again,my father and my mother were now far away from me both at places that I could most probably never get especially my father.
-A person to live for...
Would I ever find that person ? Is what I thought when I first started to live by myself,my recent thoughts after losing my mother was only to get more money and free her so we could live together again and be happy with ourselves even without father,the amount of so called money was so big that I am not even going to bother telling you because it doesn't have a meaning to it anyways.
In either case this kind of pressure left me without any much of spare time for myself,I wasn't much of a princess so to say or even a lady even though I was from a high aristocratic family the title was only earned,I already knew life from before we were nobles a life was a bit more better off compared to the farmer's or craftsman because of my parents,but to its core it still didn't make much difference from the ordinary man's life with me sometimes going with my mother down town to trade or even wait until my father came back from his usual hunting trips to get us some meat for the winter some of these actions though just obligatory if I think about it now,my mother and father were hard working folks they never trusted anyone else doing their work for them even though we had maids and butlers who could do such things for us the most we let them do was clean and carry things for us which made them obviously disturbed since it almost seemed as if they weren't even needed.
It was funny to watch at home sometimes when one of the maids or butlers would start to get distressed and work really hard even though my mother and father never really argued with any of the personal or said that they were unnecessary they still sometimes found themselves trying to tell their personal that they didn't any help or that they could do it on their own which in turn didn't turn into a argument really,but really resembled one as both parties just didn't want to unnecessarily bother each other.
Hahaha...yeah,I loved that life much better.
And even though I was satisfied and happy with everything my mother and father still felt as if something was missing,they never voiced it before,but it always seemed as if their motivation for working so hard was always directed at me in some way or another even fathers adventurer friends say that he got a bit more hard working after marrying mother when he previously used to be just a lazy bum womanizing different woman at times and rarely doing jobs just to keep feeding himself,this kind of image of my father left me really dumbfounded at times.
Mr.Aron who told me about it was also harshly yelled at by my father in a very panicked way too since I was with him in the room while Mr,Aron only hid a laugh behind his palm keeping quite,after that ordeal my father felt as if he was obligated to tell me about what he used to be before marrying mother,it seemed very painful for him,but he admitted that he was a so called "lazy bum" only capable of swinging his sword left and right and talk with other girls to kill time he didn't quite specify what he meant by "talking with girls" or "womanizing" I was still very young back then and didn't understand the relation between boys and girls so forgive me being oblivious okay.
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Originally my father came from a poor family of soldiers his father now my grandfather who had long since died when my father was young taught my father how to wield the sword and how to defend himself so he could survive and feed himself in this world,believe it or not my father used to be quite the coward he says he shied from any kind of wild beast even from the ordinary ones scared to get eaten or shredded by them,only through grandpa continuously pushing him forward did he get over his fears of getting cut or hit and even then he wasn't much of a worker anyways his talent on the other hand involving the sword shone like a diamond in the rough.
The point of father telling me these things wasn't very clear to me really he didn't try to teach me anything through it,he just seemed to have wanted to be truthful and getting something out of his shoulders for once with his little daughter,while talking with him I also figured out that father loved grandpa a lot both in the family wise and respectfully,father used to complain about grandpa a lot saying that he was a over harsh and that he didn't have mercy even to his own son being cold and ruthless sometimes at times father would simply convulse or shrink low remembering the past with his own father back then it looked very comical to me I only thought that father must have had a lot of fun while being together with grandpa.
In all reality,there was something else,even though father complained about grandpa a lot he never outright said that grandpa was a bad person or something close to a scumbag simply calling him by his characteristics and actions,but never cursing him directly to any point or belittling him and thinking back now,I even remember that sad and happy look father had when he talked about grandpa,there was not a lot a knew about my grandpa father avoided that topic a lot and only said that he was a soldier and that he died when father was still at his early teens after that there is really nothing to be said,I also never bothered asking since dad was always so energetic and busy I figured that asking him things that would make him sad wasn't good no matter how curious I was,I still loved my father a lot.
I think this is one of the major reason why my dad originally took the job of a admiral,he plainly simply wanted to give mother and me a better life even though I was satisfied with everything I already had,my father still felt insecure being a very protective parent that is he felt that he needed to do more to ensure that I would live a long and happy life on my choosing instead of being forced to do things I didn't like and struggle....
Hahhhhh...
How things would have been different if father just didn't become a admiral,if he didn't I am sure that we wouldn't have suffered so much with the intentions of making our lives good father did everything in his power to assure that,but in the end what happened really ?
My father was executed,my mother was taken hostage,we were kicked out of our own homes with almost nothing on our backs and most importantly...
We were hated by everyone in this nation.
"Good deeds do not go unpunished" they say,but what about the bad ones ? The people who did this to us ? That bastard of a prince that forsakened my entire family for some odd power he desired.
I Hate it....I Hate it....I Hate it....
I HATE IT !
There is not a single word in this whole vocabulary to describe how much I hate it,despair and sadness washing over my entire body making me feel like I was falling into my abyss surrounded only by the negativity of my thought into this endless pit of doom that I could only struggle against through mere words that gave me hopes at times that everything at one point will be alright that living is worth for that someone that is going to make me happy.
And did I ever find this person ?
-Scar ? Hey scar ? are you there ?
Dawn called out,putting his fingers in front of my eyes moving them up and down trying to catch my attention,I was slow to react at first still daydreaming,but quickly realized and turned to my right looking at the so called 15 year old boy called Dawn.
-Ahh..yeah sorry
I swiftly replied,his golden round eyes literally staring into my eyes making me feel as if he was gazing into my soul and beyond a thrilling sensation that made me feel as if I couldn't hide a single thing in front of this person.
Even my body made me feel uncomfortable at times as if the clothing that I wore itself didn't matter at all to hide my lady parts a gaze so deep I could always get lost in those golden eyes for hours at times just to find out what he's thinking at the moment,but failing miserably at every step without any conclusive answer and it wasn't only his eyes that made him special.
The way he looks at me is very different from how ordinary men look at me as well which is generally directed towards either my ass or chest sometimes not even acknowledging my face which is why I often ignore men in general with no real interest for romance for someone like that,but dawn...when we talk or when we meet he always simply looks into my eyes directly with a polite and innocent intentions,even though I didn't realize this as of late I noticed that he never looks at me in a impure or vulgar way it is in fact pleasing that he does so,but sometimes that really frustrates me as a woman since it seems as if he doesn't have any sort of interest towards me.
But what is even worse here is that I am developing feelings for him,our age gap is a while 10 years,but even though thats the case dawn never acts like a ordinary 15 year old thinking about it I feel extremely ashamed of myself when comparing myself when I was 15 to dawn the difference was extremely huge with me constantly whining over the most smallest things and yelling when something didn't go my way sometimes even outright fighting my own parents even though they just wanted the best for me,but dawn...dawn...
I stuttered inside my head trying to imagine him complaining about something or yelling at someone,but as much as I tried it didn't fit at all dawn just wasn't that sort of a person to go make a scene he is a secretive quite individual who doesn't talk mch about himself compared to me he is much more mature and adult like even though I was 10 years older then him...
While thinking like this suddenly a memory resurfaced into my head,it had been a quite recent memory too which happened only a few hours ago on the streets...
-I won't abandon you,you are my treasured companion and friend if you need someone I will always be by your side so don't easily cry didn't you swear that you wouldn't cry again or were those just empty words where is your warrior spirit your honor ?
The memory had me momentarily caught off guard,it was literally the first time someone told me something like this...I am still not able to complete believe in those words,but for some reason...I am still very drawn to me and want to believe them a lot,it doesn't make it any more better that the person who said those words is someone extremely reliable too...
I wanted to sigh,but since dawn was here I really didn't want him to see me in a pathetic state watching him I could see that he was mildly worried about me it didn't help that I was also in a very revealing outfit...I must be ludicrous to have come here with this kind of attire its literally screaming that I am some kind of desperate woman that wants to seduce a little boy its really all mothers fault since she gave this to me on my 18 birthday expecting me to use it at some point !
I haven't ever used this gown before nor did I wear it which makes this my first time,but I never threw it away either since it is mother's gift and also the only clothing I have right now that isn't drying...
Wraaahhhhhhh !
WHY DID I EVEN COME HERE !
-Scar,if your not feeling well its better for you to go back to your room I understand that I didn't explain to you everything that happened today,but you seem pretty tired so at least go sleep now I promise I will tell you what happened so don't get so stressed you look much more beautiful when you smile
-Heh ?
I froze for a moment...did I just get rejected ? I...I...wait.
No,no,no...dawn just wants me to rest...yeah he is that kind of a person after all.
I smiled wryly,feeling incredibly foolish of myself as I just couldn't even make heads of what to do right now for being a 25 year old woman shouldn't I be taking the lead here? Even if he is a man he shouldn't have any experience with another woman now shouldn't he ?
I wondered idiotically,glancing at dawn with half opened eyes as I wanted him sit next to me in a quiet manner keeping me company,he wasn't telling me to go out,but he wasn't sleeping either just waiting for me like always this kind of silence was incredibly comforting for some reason am I really just the only person who is over thinking everything here ?
I looked closer towards dawn expecting him to be indifferent as always,but surprisingly enough when I looked at him a bit more closer I noticed...
He was slightly red ?
Haha...I giggled lightly to myself,calming down very much as I looked around the dim room and up towards the window outside into the night sky full of stars.
Father,I don't know if I found that person yet worth living for,but I think I am very close so don't worry I already have someone who will be on my side someone who am sure of won't abandon me.
Is that good enough ? I wonder.
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Question 1#
Who does dawn live for ?
Put it down in the comments bellow and state your reasoning for it,I loved to see your answers in the comments
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