Pyro POV.

Well the story I told the witch was rather funny. First of all all remaining angels are either dead or undead, including me, which was met with little witch fainting.

“Geh, what a weak willed witch.” No seriously, that was rather lame. Who faints when you show them a skeletal face? It's a basic prank! She should have expected it.

Anyway I have enough provisions for the trip, even counting the newcomer, so the only problem is getting there, especially with her needing rest every now and then. Good thing that I have no sleep gauge... now thinking about it, I don't see the... oh yeah, forgot that I shut them off, and left only a function to notify me when it comes lower than 60%.

Yes, so for the traveling I decided for going on foot, as there were no horses, or something better than a goat, even the donkey would suffice. It will be a long road... Fortunately I can sense life sings down the road, and they don't seem to move, so I guess it's either resting humans, or bandits, and whatever it is I need the loot. For safety reasons I put little witch to [Sleep] and hid her in the treetops.

First thing is scouting. Getting to those nasty creatures, both zealots and bandits are nasty by the way, I noticed five people on the road with horse and a cart, and around thirty more hidden in the forest. Nothing easy it seems, I so wished for it to be some fat merchant with few rare ingredients, but considering that sooner or later ingredients would cost more than their weight in gold even for the cheapest one, it'll be the same as pig guarding dragon's treasure.

Let's see the good things from this situation. I will get a horse, cart is not needed, as I have [Inventory], but I won't say no to free stuff. Armor and weapons of those morons are useless, but I will store their bodies along with their equipment, as I am a hoarder. Any extra loot will be taken as usual.

Now to the way of killing them. Fastest would be using magic, but I haven't played the 'Assassin Game' for a long time, so I guess it wouldn't be bad if I eliminate them one by one, maybe poison their food? Nah, it's too long, better just act as a good assassin. I climbed the tree, got my bow and marked every enemy on my [Radar]. Radar is my relatively new passive, while [Mark] is the best auxiliary skill for it. Both were bought for a common token, and are more useful than [Sonar], when they used together that is.

First to die was some unlucky sod, who decided to relief himself, and found that he also leaked something beside the 'waste', but it was too late. I left him there, while waiting for twenty minutes until someone decides to check on him, only to be met with arrow to their neck. With two more bandits down, I continued on slowly exterminating them.

Next one was some woodsman, as he carried an axe, I decided to call all those with axe wodcutters. It was simple, just jump on him from above, and crush his skull with my foot. Same was with other woodies, which was only six more. Unfortunately my 'Assassin's Spree' ended when I killed last woodsman, body of woody the woodcutter was discovered, and morons abandoned their trap, which was more or less good for me. 26 bandits which were still alive and kicking were organizing defenses, but they were flimsy and had too much openings, so five of them were sniped through the openings, until they formed a shieldwall formation, if you consider the wood planks as shields, as their shields were small round shields, those that had them at least. Few archers were blindly firing in the forest, but to no avail, while I lazily took them out one by one through openings. Then they decided to just sit and pray to whatever god of banditry was there, or light goddess if they were 'true believers' by this nation's standards.

Then I got bored, put my bow in inventory, and took my spear. Next I lunged at them while shouting “Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Skull Throne!” one of the few happy memories I had. Too bad that first power armors were rather bulky and had most of their servos out in the open, so they were quite inefficient in the battles. But hey, at least at that time I ran around in testing facility shouting the same thing and butchering dummies.

So with my shout their morale dropped, at least that should be the case in most games, but it's reality, so I was expecting them to shout something back, but I heard only screams of fear and smelled urine, as well as blood, sweat and really bad breath, also there was some other screams like “Heretic!”, “Demon worshiper!” and “Psycho!” but afterwards it was quite easy dispatching them, as they couldn't even put a resistance. Also I checked their camp, where I found some fat merchant.

“Hey you! Release me, and I will pay you!” but I decided against it, and punctured his neck with spear. Don't get me wrong, but it's not worth the trouble, as usually they will take the stuff you legally took from bandits. Oh and I stored everything in inventory, including the merchant, his cage and rest of campfire. I just don't really like camping, though I know how to. Bones would be glad when I upgrade him with some stuff, but I need more bodies for it to be proper upgrade. Hell, Garrus is stronger than he is, Bones doesn't have any extra mana and all his stats are common. Though I separated a few heads from bandits, as I thought to legalize claim on this horse, albeit temporary, and get some bounty for the severed heads.

Afterwards I took horse, stored carriage in [Inventory] and strolled back to the place where I put Linda, need to start addressing her something besides 'Little Witch', as those zealots would gladly burn her at stake.

“Rise and shine Ms. Grimwood, rise and shine.” I said while using weak version of [Jolt]. Needless to say she jumped from the [Jolt], like she was on fire.

“Oh it's you. Say are you really skeleton?” upon her question I took the 'Mask' I 'Used'.

“My favorite prank. You wouldn't believe how some people reacted to it.” I said while laughing. “Though my brother is really undead.”

“Where did you get the horse?”

“Oh you know, stuff happened. Found some bandits, and decided to take the stuff from them.”

“Are you sure that they were bandits? What if-”

“If they smell of urine, blood, cum and alcohol, digging a pit for merchant, while raping his dead girlfriend, then they are bandits. Or she wasn't his girlfriend, but whatever she was, she was dead.” well there was some female bandits, but whatever, it's more believable.

“... Did you-” (Linda)

“Killed them, threw them into pit and used earth magic to cover it.” much more believable than what I really did.

“Can you teach me earth magic? Despite being a witch I never-”

“You are proficient in hexes, so I don't know about elemental magic. But I know a bit about everything. It's good to be me, most of the times at least.” looking at her clueless expression I added “Yeah, I will teach you some basics on elemental magic. Considering you have aptitude for it.” owww... she looks like a kitten who found a bucket of milk, as well as some toy and meat.