《Hero? I'm assassin, but that's the same right?》Chapter 24. Blue lemon soda... well it's juice, but tastes like soda.
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Pyro POV.
Hey other me?
Yes?
Would you tell me what's going on?
How would I know? You're the one who has access to Status.
After the subjugation of wolves I got rather strange message.
Congratulations on achieving level 15
From now on the leveling will be much harder, but you will receive your class and race bonuses. Also more descriptions will be available after a system reboot. Thank you for using the System. Have a nice day.
It was a day ago and now I have access to Bianca again, but first.
Bianca! What the hell? Why did you initiated it while I was in the cave?
It wasn't me! I don't have anything to do with it!
…
More like didn't.
You also didn't respond. I was worried.
… Really? You was worried about me?
Yes, when your accountant is not responding it's either they stole something, or they were kidnapped.
I'm just an accountant for you?
No, you are assistant, but if you want-
No, I'm assistant.
…
stupid. I thought that he liked me... stupid...
Hey what was that?
Just complaining about the shut off.
Fine.
Oh well. I still can't access status, so no point in simple waiting.
I got my payment yesterday, told heroes about the wolves, said that I wanted to blow off some steam, and noticed the bounty on wolves, told that it was actually the wolves we were supposed to get rid of, and so I contacted guildmaster, then decided to go to the mine, wolves noticed me, fought them, they died, I skinned them, butchered and returned to the city. BDL slapped me with her fan, girl group pouted, perverts had a jealous expression, JJ was screaming something about gods and injustice, Ken was having a happy time with his harem.
Now I am moving around the city, I decided to address this place as city, and seeking the fun stuff. When I neared the tavern I got greeted by Apprentice.
Apprentice: “Hello Kuro!” and she knows my name... did I told her, or she nagged her master.
Pyro: “Hello Apprentice... didn't learn your name at that time.”
Apprentice: “Oh it's Lilith. Nice to meet you.” I have a strange feeling...
Pyro: “OK, Lilith, nice to meet you, I go by the name Kuro. Was nice seeing you, but I-”
Lilith: “You also decided to eat out? Let's go together!” That's why. If it were VN what route would it be?
Pyro: “OK...” Whatever the troubles there should be chicken! And cider.*sigh*
Lilith: “What's wrong?” why does she...
Pyro: “They don't have orange juice.”
Lilith: “But they have kulpo juice. It's similar in taste to oranges, but it has alcoholic-” seriously?
Pyro: “CHICKEN AND KULPO!!!” why all the patrons look at me like that?
Waitress: “Sir, no need to shout.” oh yeah...
Pyro: “Yeah... agitated. So I will have chicken, chicken dumplings, chicken ke... all types of chicken dishes you have and a keg of kulpo juice.”
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Lilith: “Kuro! Kulpo juice has strong alcoholic concentration! You won't-”
Waitress: “I must agree with your companion sir. Drinking a glass of kulpo juice has the same effects as drinking a bottle of wine.”
Pyro: “Got it. Then five kegs.”
Waitress: “Sir? It is toxic in high-”
Pyro: “I will have one here and four with me.”
Waitress: “We will only serve you up to three bottles.” meanie!
Pyro: “OK... costs?”
Waitress: “Chicken menu will be 24 silver, while bottle of kelpo juice will be 50 silver each.” 1.74? good. I hope it'll be tasty.
After I ordered the meal and paid in advance, as I don't know if the juice will be strong, I sat in anticipation, but Lilith decided it was a good idea to talk to me... oh and she ordered some fish.
Lilith: “Do you like orange juice?”
Pyro: “Hell yeah! I prefer soda though, but your world doesn't have soda, so juice has to suffice.” The only reason I would leave it is for soda. They have chicken so not everything is lost.
Lilith: “Soda? What is it.”
Pyro: “Just tastier version of juice.” wait for it... wait for it... uh... I know that I have addiction, but it's a good addiction!
Lilith: “Hey Kuro... are you alright?”
Pyro: “No, I want kulpo juice! Uh... can't they move faster?”
Lilith: “Kuro... you're scaring me.”
Pyro: “Scary, huh?” No I am not scary, but anticipating something good. Last time when I was scary few millions died. It was an accident though. Who knew that lab in London?
Lilith: “Yes, you're like mother when she interacts with father.”
Pyro: “Nympho.”
Lilith: “Excuse me?”
Pyro: “Your mother. She really loves your father I think, if she have the same expression as I have now.”
Lilith: “No usually my father-”
Waitress: “Your order. Chicken pie, chicken roast, chicken-”
Pyro: “Kulpo?”
Waitress: “Want to get drunk? Why do you males like alcohol so much?”
Pyro: “Taste. It's taste! Dunno about regular alcohol, but if it's with orange flavor it can't be bad.” after the dishes came three bottles with strange blue liquid. “This is kulpo juice?”
Lilith: “Yes.” fine. Open the bottle... smells like a lemon? And... tastes like lemon-orange soda. Tasty... “Don't drink like that!”
Pyro: “-Why? It's a lemon-orange combo. Quite good, though have some strange aftertaste.-” and the bottle is finished. “Know where I can buy some more?”
Lilith: “Did you just... drank whole bottle?”
Pyro: “Yep. Now it's time for chicken!” and I started stuffing myself with all those dishes. I can swear the visitors were staring at me like at some crazy hermit, who never knew of civilization.
Lilith: “Kuro...”
Pyro: “-What?-”
Lilith: “What was that?”
Pyro: “-Oh it's magic. Air magic to be precise. I don't want to talk while I eat something tasty, so I use magic. Pass me the chicken salad please.-” she slowly passed me salad. “-Thanks. See our voice is nothing more than vibrations, so I use magic to imitate it. Quite easy by the way.-”
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Lilith: “I am Air magician, but I never heard about it. Can you teach me?”
Pyro: “-What affinities do you have?-”
Lilith: “Air at 31, Fire at 9, Darkness at 5, Water and Earth at 4.”
Pyro: “-Not bad. My weakest is Holy, but as I don't use it then it's air at... last time I checked it was at 10. My strongest is fire.-”
Lilith: “Affinity value?”
Pyro: “-100.-” and her jaw dropped. Usual reaction.
Lilith: “How?”
Pyro: “-I like burning things. Oh and I got an interesting combo with blood magic resulting in glorious death of my enemies. Not like they care about it anyway.-”
Lilith: “Blood affinity? You have it?”
Pyro: “-Come on! I have them all.-”
Lilith: “Can I have kulpo?” … uh... my precious...
Pyro: “-Sure. Don't drink too much.-” she took only a mouthful.
Lilith: “After this we are coming to my mother.”
Pyro: “-Why? Wait who's your mother by the way?-”
Lilith: “She's the store owner, and my master.” and finally only juice left.
Pyro: “Oh then sure. Why though?” I took my juice in the inventory.
Lilith: “You stopped? Oh it's about you.”
Pyro: “After it you will tell me about the places where I can buy kelpo juice, deal?”
Lilith: “Deal.” Off we go to your mother!.. Somehow it looks like the insult, no?
You know what is really funny? The shit I'm in right now.
Owner: “Think you are good enough to take my daughter?”
She is the mother of Lilith, owner of the shop and a wife of old geezer Ozelot. Oh and she thinks that I'm dating her daughter.
Pyro: “Nope.”
Owner: “If you... wait what?”
Pyro: “I said nope. I don't really want to start a family or something like that. Besides I have my arachnees, and they don't judge anyone by their race.”
Owner: “So you don't want to get laid with my daughter? Like at all?”
Lilith: “MOTHER!!!”
Owner: “But she's the-”
Pyro: “Charming? Yes, but not my type. Unless I see her fight I can't tell if she's strong or not.”
Owner: “Wait, you only care about power?” Is she for real?
Pyro: “No, but if you can't protect yourself you are just an infant.”
Lilith: “Hey I am quite strong you know!”
Pyro: “Killed black wolves? Regular wolves?”
Lilith: “No...”
Pyro: “Killed something or someone?”
Lilith: “Yes...” OK, good.
Pyro: “Then kill few wolves while I watch, so I can evaluate your strength and weaknesses.”
Owner: “Why do you care about that?”
Pyro: “Simple really. If someone wants to travel with me I expect them to kill without remorse. You don't believe how often idiots in my groups hesitated, which cost them their life.”
Owner: “Hesitated? Like what? I know you are a hero, and you try to improve the kingdom, but your actions are not hero-like.”
Pyro: “It's because I'm not some stupid hero. JJ acts like one, but I suspect he will die when we encounter demon leaders. All heroes that act in the name of 'Greater Good' are either frauds, assholes or just retarded, sometimes all of it together. I am, well was, a mercenary. I survived all of the wars I was in not because I had allies or gear, but because I killed my enemies when opportunity was given, and I had a chance to win, if not I just ignored orders and waited until I could.” Last time my contract commanded me on a suicide mission, I just killed them all.
Owner: “If you see demon, what will you do?”
Pyro: “If I have a contract or the demon is hostile I will kill it, otherwise don't care.”
Lilith: “And if it's friendly?”
Pyro: “Hey I drank with a half demon today, have I not?” owner laughed, and Lilith is quite pale. Strange.
Lilith: “How did you know?”
Pyro: “Simple. You have demon heritage, or something, my powers as a hero cautioned me about you, but seeing you as an apprentice of a magician I decided to ignore it. Who would have known that you introduce me to substitute for orange juice. Oh and don't forget the deal.”
Owner: “Deal? What kind of deal did you make?”
Lilith: “I show him where kulpo juice can be bought.”
Owner: “In most of the inns, taverns, and some shops.”
Pyro: “Are those shops already closed? If not can we go there now?”
Owner: “Why do you want the shop? You can buy bottle of kulpo juice at almost any tavern.”
Pyro: “They don't want to sell me a keg.”
Owner: “Because even a glass of this stuff can knock the man out.”
Lilith: “Not him. He drank two bottles and he's still standing like it was nothing.” and the owner is visibly interested.
Owner: “Then we should drink! Come with me, I know where they sell this stuff, and I have a discount.”
Pyro: “Really? Do you also understand the glory of the divine fruit?”
Owner: “Divine fruit? Kulpo?”
Pyro: “Yes! It tastes like orange, well lemon-orange combo, but it is quite tasty.”
Owner: “You drank it and didn't know that it's actually an alcohol?”
Pyro: “Lilith told me something about it, just as waitress, but who cares about alcohol? Taste is what matters! Let's go on our quest!” and I stormed off... but then returned. “Where is this shop?”
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