We’ve been in this fucking place for hours! And now I’m stuck with the worst psychos in the pod. Fuck my life, Juan Ruiz thought as they pressed through a black slime filled hall. They were covered in the sticky substance that had the consistency of tar and seemed to seep from the walls. Back a few hours ago they still had a fire mage that was periodically pulsing waves of fire in front of the group and burning out the black mess. That was until one of those cieling sucker things reached down and sucked his brains right out of the top of his fucking head. Fuck my life, Ruiz thought once again.

He held out his hand and pulsed a wave of healing energy over the other three remaining members of his party. At the lead was one of those dumb white power Asatru believing mother fuckers who had just punched his fist through the chest of one of the freaky, thin, grey skinned, faceless ‘Creeps’ that had long black bone blades for arms. The clearly Bi-Polar man laughed as his fist exploded out the back of the creature's narrow chest. Black tar like blood coated his arm as he retracted his fist and he smiled. His face was too narrow for the size of the teeth he had and even before the system he was an imposing six and a half foot of solid muscle. He wore only a pair of white New Balance running shoes, now pretty much black, and his orange prison pants, which were also pretty much black. Fuck this place.

“Christ, Mikey! Do you have to enjoy it so much?” Brian Diaz asked with a clear look of disgust on his face. Of the other three inmates that Juan found himself in this dungeon with, Diaz would be the most sane of the remaining three. He wasn’t a murderer like the other two, but he shared their penchant for rape and assault. Oddly enough he was the only one other than Juan to not have an official diagnosis for some random fucked up mental illness. That one is just a straight fucking asshole. He thought to himself. Diaz sported a large black towershield with a spike in the center, and a heavy one handed morning star that seemed to be made of normal steel. The short man was almost dwarfed by the shield, and where Cross was lean and almost aerodynamic, Diaz was very much the stocky square shaped tank you’d imagine in a video game. Kinda fitting since all this shit is too much like a fucking video game. Fuck my life, already!

Another trio of Creeps came barreling down a side hall towards the group and stopped dead when the final member of their group managed to stop talking to the voices in his head and launch a deadly bolt of lightning that jumped between all three of the charging monsters. Smoke rose from their bodies before the energy stopped surging between them and they fell as one to the ground dead. “Told you I would do it. That’s right… I told you.” Kenyon Soto-Hernandez muttered, staring at the dead bodies of his most recent kills. He suddenly looked at Ruiz and fixed a manic leer on him. Then turned and stalked forward with Cross.

“That one is losing his shit.” Diaz whispered to Ruiz as he came up next to him.

“Yeah, keep it to yourself, who knows what he’ll do if he thinks we’re fucking conspiring against him.” Ruiz responded with careful consideration and stepped forward to follow the ‘crazies’ further into the dungeon. Ruiz simply grunted in acknowledgement and took the lead.

The quartet finally emerged from the wide tunnel into a massive room that easily stretched the length and width of a football field. The floor before them transitioned from the creepy tar covered tentacle fronds to a rather plain looking black stone floor. At the end of the room was another tunnel with a heavy looking soot covered steel gate blocking it. Pillars were spaced evenly down the length of the field set at about 5 meters from the side walls. The walls were still covered in the tentacles and also appeared to be lined with thick metal spikes. Thick chains stretched in the space between the pillars and the spikey tentacled walls and reached for the ceiling, which stretched in a half barrel shape. In the center was an opening where the chains ascended into darkness.

They stepped out into the larger room and suddenly a clicking noise began to echo across the room and the chains began to move, slowly scratching against the stone opening. The largest creep they had seen prior slowly descended from the hole in the ceiling suspended from the chains. It wore black robes that were torn and shredded at the fringes. Where the smaller creeps only had bone spears for arm, this one had hands that ended in impossibly long pointy fingers. It currently held these fingers clasped in front of it and was staring at the four inmates with a creepy smile from a too small mouth set in a featureless face.

“What the fuck is that!?” Cross muttered.

“This shit’s gonna give me a whole slew of new issues.” Diaz added staring up at the imposing looking creep. Cross just huffed and folded his arms across his chest and watched with disinterest. He clearly didn’t register the big creature as a current threat.

Then it spoke with a voice that seemed like someone was trying to use nails on a chalkboard to communicate, “Greetings, Humans. Welcome to the Hall of Challengers. You will be required to face three challenges of esca-”

“MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!” Kenyon roared and unleashed a massive bolt of lightning at the talking Creep. Energy rippled around an unseen barrier and the Creep hissed something unintelligible and the chains began clanking again as it was raised back into the dark hole it had descended from.

That fucking SCHIZO! Coulda’ been good to hear that Creepy fuckers spiel. Ruiz thought angrily to himself. The sound of dozens of creeps howling and hooting from the opposite end of the room grabbed his attention. The heavy iron gate began to raise as the noisy tumult edged closer and closer.

“Fucking crazy spic, you’ve done it now, haven’t you.” Cross sneered and smacked Kenyon across the mouth. The crazy lightning mage stumbled to the ground and glared for a moment before the onslaught of creeps came screaming and clawing their way out of the now open tunnel. Then he cackled like the mad man he was and started charging his power.

“NO TIME FOR THAT SHIT NOW!” Diaz yelled back as he raised his shield and prepared a shield charge. Cross dove head first into the surging throng of monsters and began to dodge and strike. Then Diaz charged in next to him knocking a half dozen of the creatures back as they spilled out and crawled around the walls and the ceilings.

Ruiz began extending heals to the frontline fighters and fell in beside the mumbling crazy Kenyon. For his part Kenyon unleashed a flurry of chain lightning into the bastards that were swarming the side walls and overhead. First one and then another, and then a dozen of the creeps tumbled from the walls and ceiling with smoke rising from deeply charred wounds.

“AHA! Ha! Look at them fall!” Kenyon Soto-Hernandez rambled as he charged up another attack and smiled like a kid on Christmas morning. This dude is fucking gone! FUCK MY LIFE! Ruiz thought harshly and watched as Diaz and Cross fought back to back and slaughtered the creeps as they emerged. It seemed the last of the monsters had entered the black arena because the exit promptly clanged shut with a thud. Across the walls and ceilings were a couple dozen creeps that Kenyon continually cooked with lightning. On the ground were another two dozen or so that Diaz and Cross fought with machine precision.

It took only a few moments for the fifty or so creeps to be slaughtered. Creeps were pretty much the dungeons version of fodder and were only truly dangerous if one were caught unaware. The fighters' chests heaved with exertion while Kenyon continued rambling.

“That wasn’t so bad….” Diaz mumbled as he caught his breath. A sharp smack to the back of the head brought a vicious glare to his face and he whirled around on Cross.

“Don’t fucking jinx us gods damned it!”

Just before the two began killing each other over the slight, the far gate began to lift again, and the low growl of dogs travelled to their ears. Everyone but Kenyon tensed and watched the slowly opening maw as six pony sized sort of dogs stepped out of the tunnel. Unlike the general dungeon motif of black, and more black, these monsters were a dark sooty red. They stood about shoulder height and carried the general shape of a bulldog, though with longer more athletic legs. The head was the thing that stood out, unlike bulldogs it was long and pointed. Also unlike bulldogs these monsters wore their skulls on the outside of their skin. Their eyes were deeply set glowing yellow orbs and ash drifted from inside their mouths when they breathed.

“Eh? Hellhounds?” Cross looked at them awkwardly as they sniffed the air and looked around the arena.

“Close enough, let's get back to killing.” Diaz said and hefted his shield and crouched behind it with one eye scanning for his first target. Cross grunted an affirmation and settled in next to the shorter man and eyed the hellhounds. This was a new monster they hadn’t fought yet, no one was ready to take the first swing.

No one but this schizo crazy fucker! “Fucking animals! FUCK YOU! Fu… fuck you… heh! Ha! YOU can’t be here!” Everyone, even the hellhounds, stared at the crazed man as he walked forward with electricity sputtering around his hands and arms. The hounds were the first to break the staring contest and began spreading out. The lead hound cocked his head curiously at the crazed man then hunched low and began growling a warning. More glowing ash and embers burst forth from its mouth and it leaned back to lunge when Kenyon raised both hands in its direction and screamed “MOMMA SAID I CAN’T HAVE YOU! YOU HAVE TO DIE” And lightning burst forth in front of him and sent the lead hellhound and two more close to it tumbling across the stone floor.

A pair of hounds had managed to move to the flanks and lunged in on Kenyon as he single mindedly spewed lightning at the lead monster. For a moment it looked like they would snatch him in their jaws then Diaz intercepted one on his shield and Cross bodily tackled the other. Ruiz turned his healing energy on Cross as he was the only one lacking a weapon or armor of any kind and was currently trying to wrestle his way on top of what was probably a half ton of teeth, claws and fiery brimstone.

The hellhound that Kenyon hit full on with his electricity was now charred black and Ruiz could tell it was definitely ‘well done’. The other two only caught a fraction of the power directed at the leader and had regained their footing and steered a path clear of the volatile lightning mage. Diaz managed to shield bash one into a pillar and crush another’s skull with his morning star and was turning to work on the one he had bashed. Two of the hounds made to lunge at Cross’ back and Ruiz thought for a moment to do nothing and then sighed and threw a barrier around Cross and the hound whose neck he currently had his massive arms wrapped around. Kinda need this racist fuck if we plan to survive. The sound of bones snapping and the hound going limp in his arms indicated that he was done with that one.

Cross stood and charged the closest barking animal and struck it with a hard right cross to its boney jaw. The creature jerked sideways and caught a massive kick to the ribs which caved on impact and was launched across the room to smash through a pillar and be impaled on one of the wall spikes. It’s legs kicked and its body twitched as a half a dozen of the wall tentacle things latched on like leeches and began draining the beasts fluids. Cross turned and bent low at the waist with his arms wide and a manic smile on his face as he squared off with the other hound that had been trying to get at him.

Diaz finished off another hound with a massive backswing of his morning star that shattered the outer skull of the animal and left the creature missing the front half of its head. He turned and saw Cross grappling with the last monster and charged forward and brought his weapon down on the creature's spine with a sickening snap. It roared in pain as Cross once again seized it by the lower jaw and began to twist. The hound flailed in a weak attempt to free itself before Cross braced his foot on its side and jerked hard, snapping the things neck.

Kenyon had completely lost his mind at this point and was now cradling the hellhound he had cooked in his arms, petting its lightning blackened skull while crying over its death. This dude. FUCK MY LIFE! Ruiz thought and apparently the other two were thinking the same thing and just shook their heads at the scene being played out before them. They had little time to think about it though as the third and final challenge approached. The gate rose completely and all but shadows concealed the thing that waited for them.

They stared for long moments into the darkness waiting for their worst imaginations to show itself. The three of them jumped a little when a large fleshy hand appeared from the dark tunnel and grasped the top of the opening. A pair of yellow eyes blinked into the room and then their next challenge crawled heavily from the dark tunnel and stood to its full height when it fully entered the room with a groan. It carried what was essentially a blackened tree trunk for a weapon and was clothed in simple leathers. It’s face was flat and squat with a crop of dark hair on top and a stubbled jaw with fat yellowed and crooked teeth in its mouth.

Etin of the Black Halls, Level 18***

“Fuck my life.” Ruiz mumbled as the 15 foot towering monster gazed down on their diminished party. Kenyon began cursing loudly at it, Cross just smiled and cracked his knuckles. Diaz made the sign of the cross on his chest and muttered a prayer.

Before the fighting could begin everyone paused as another notification popped into view.

WARNING!!! ANOTHER PARTY HAS ENTERED THE DUNGEON!!! IF ONE PARTY DOES NOT LEAVE, THE DUNGEON WILL BE CONSIDERED TO BE IN A STATE OF CONFLICT.

ALL PREVIOUSLY KILLED CREATURES, COMPLETED TRAPS AND PUZZLES WILL BE RESET FOR THE INCOMING PARTY!!!

DIFFICULTY LEVEL WILL BE INCREASED BY 50% FOR THE ENTIRE DUNGEON!!!

DUNGEON CORE WILL BE UNCLAIMABLE UNTIL ONE PARTY REMAINS!!!

The Etin paused and the tell tale signs of mana surged around it as the notifications scrolled past. When the mana surge was finished the Etin smiled and seemed to be looking at the group with far more intelligence than it had before the change.

“SERIOUSLY! FUCK MY LIFE!”