I awoke to darkness. As dark as the inky void of space. I try to move, to look away from this abyss, to find I had no body to speak of. It was too much for my mind to handle and I slipped from consciousness. I awoke a second time to find nothing had changed. This time though I tried, emphasis on the tried, to ignore the void and instead focused inward towards my body or perhaps it would be better to say lack of body.

I don’t quite know how I was actually seeing with my lack of eyes so it could have been more apt to say I sensed my surroundings. Moving my senses inward it would seem that my body? was ball shaped in nature. In fact, I would go so far as to say all that I was and all that I am is contained within this ball. Focusing even further inward I found I could watch my entire life play out before me, every detail was there with nothing left out. All the good, the bad and the horrendously stupid moments that made me cringe to watch were there. It was almost like watching a movie but perceiving it through someone’s point of view. I don’t know how long I watched and re-watched my life. It could have been a second or an eternity but having calmed myself as I watched my life I once again turned my consciousness outward.

The inky void greeted me once again although it wasn’t as terrifying anymore knowing I have a place to retreat to, a sanctuary if you will. Time passed as I tried to examine my surroundings and I began to despair once again, ‘will I be forced to relive my life over and over until I succumb to madness.’ These thoughts plagued me as I tried to make sense of my surroundings. Fortunately I felt neither hunger nor drowsiness in this void. Even without hunger I still longed for food, especially bacon. Oh how I loved bacon if I could I would eat it all day long, the glorious texture, the scent of it and the juicy taste that not even the Gods could rival. Even the mere sight of it- wait what’s that floating in front of me? Am I going insane?

Floating in front of me was bacon. Light seemed to shine around it. ‘Is God a piece of bacon? Can I be the head priest and spread tales of your tastiness to the ends of the Universe?’ *groveling mentally* It’s not doing anything -_-. So maybe it’s just a piece of bacon then. Alright how do I get to it then when I don’t have a body to “move.” I try to “will” my ball self towards the Holy Strip and surprisingly it comes closer. ‘Hehe I will taste you soon my precious just wait.’ I finally bump into the precious and open my mouth—‘ah how do I eat this without a mouth?’

I mentally fall into an orz pose and manly heart sweat flows from my eyes. ‘Is this Hell?’ I thought while staring at The Bacon, so close but so far. ‘No, if this was hell there would be more than one impossible to reach Bacon.’ Pondering the mysteries of The Bacon I notice a second precious Strip pop into existence.

‘Fuck.’

~~ An undetermined amount of time later. ~~

I’ve been playing around in this hellhole for a while now and I think I’ve figured out something. I can make things come into existence if I have a clear mental image of the thing I want and concentrate hard enough. It would explain the appearance of the first Bacon and all of the subsequent ones as well. I look over at the original Bacon that had grown into a small hill of glorious goodness.

I look inwards into my memories to retrieve how I looked before the cancer and chemo and will my shape to change. Slowly my body transforms and finally I float there in the void. It anyone could have seen me they would have seen a 6’0” man with blonde hair, piercing green eyes and a muscular frame not with bulging muscles but toned over the years through rigorous physical activity. I look down towards my hands and marvel that I can once again move without pain. Of course I’m also wearing my birthday suit but clothes can wait.

My gaze moves towards the Holy pile and a hint of drool can be seen trickling down my face. “HEHEHEHEHEHEHE,” I break the speed of sound racing towards the Bacon. They seem to shiver and cry out in fear of the coming baconalypse. Far far away a short green man looks up and says, “Coming darkness, there is. Hope, there isn’t.”

Floating in the void there is a man with a slightly glazed eyes and a content look on his face. ‘Well I’ve established that this isn’t Hell which is good but what to do next? Maybe a place to live where I don’t have to stare into the darkness all the time would be nice.’

Concentrating a mansion comes into existence cause why not? I mean, if you’re going to create a place to stay out of nothing might as well make it fancy. I look at my creation, nod in satisfaction, and walk inside.

Directly inside there is a wide open space with a grand staircase leading upwards towards the second level. It would remind an onlooker of a Victorian style house. ‘Very fancy,’ I smile, but it felt empty within the house almost as though it was missing something.

‘Ah, I know every mansion needs a butler to go with it otherwise it wouldn’t be a mansion.’ I recall a show I saw once about a butler and try to form [email protected]$tian. It doesn’t work. ‘Hm, maybe the person has to be real in order to form.’ With this in mind I move onto people from my past life which thinking back I probably should have started with.

I first try forming my family from my memories. I close my eyes and try to will them into existence. Opening my eyes I don’t see any sign of my family. ‘Why didn’t it work? Can this place only have one person?’ Concentrating I try again, but again nothing happened. I then try to will Doc into existence. Then friends, relatives, even random strangers I saw on the street. With every failure I become more and more frantic even going so far as to try creating someone from scratch but nothing works. I sigh, with my spirits dampened I try one more thing and a cat falls out of the air and onto the ground. It looks confused but seeing me it turns it head in distain and walks off. ‘Well I guess I’m going to a crazy cat man, hurrah.’

I'm sitting in my lounge chair staring off into the void sipping my coffee and admiring the landscape that I formed around my mansion. As my control over this space increased I had made more and more improbable things such as rivers flowing vertically up a mountain with fish swimming within. As the fish reached the top of the river they would jump out and glide down to the bottom on wings. It had become apparent after trying to form lifeforms that I could reproduce animal life but not humans. It was disappointing to say the least but still it gave me more time to spend with my cats, of which there were over a hundred now. I mean they’re so cute and fluffy—wait what was that?

There, I saw it again a tiny light flashing in the distance. With each flash the light grows stronger and stays lit for a longer period of time. Squinting my eyes against the flashing onslaught, I try to discern what is causing the light but with one final flash the black sky is replaced with light temporarily blinding me. Blinking my eyes repeatedly while trying to regain my eyesight I hear a booming voice coming from everywhere around me.

[???] “It’s finally online, mankind’s greatest achievement a fully sentient Artificial Intelligence.”