Chapter Seven - Title Hidden

There are times when I wish I could have puked as a soul. Every other form of life has some form of regurgitation, to get rid of that horrid nauseous feeling that comes when you spin around and around and around so fast you can’t even tell what you are anymore… Of course, I would’ve been dead long ago if I had a mortal body. So I guess I shouldn’t complain.

The weirdest thing about going through that whirlpool was the other essences. I had spent so much time in the Lightning Sea that I assumed the other Sea’s would feel similar. Well, it didn’t. Because of the forbidden spell I used long, long ago my soul was comforted and nurtured by the Lightning Sea, but the that didn’t help me with the other seas. While I was in the whirlpool, the essences of all the other seas were constantly traveling through my soul. I absorbed all I could of them, but I reached my limit very quickly. After that, I had no control over what they did to my soul, and they seemed to flow through me like a river.

I think because of who my mother was, the fire essence greeted me warmly. I felt a kind of maternal love from them that I can only attribute to her. Water seemed willing to put up with me, at least temporarily. While light and dark were kind of just there, they didn’t really make an impression in me at all. Wind floated along happily and cheerily, it felt as if they were inviting me to play in some children's game. I like wind essence. Earth, though. We don’t get along. Every time I came across Earth Essence they would slam into me, unwilling to let me pass. As I’ve said before injuries to the soul are extremely harmful, if it wasn’t for the constant rejuvenation of the Lightning Essence I was with I would’ve died that day.

*Pop*

Or at least that’s the sound I imagine I made as I was squeezed through the bottom of the whirlpool. There is a multi-colored gem at the bottom of the whirlpool that someone, probably the creator of the universe, placed there. It has the attractive properties of each element bestowed within it, with such a massive power that it pulls every elemental sea into it. When I reached the bottom of the whirlpool, I was forced through it because of all the elemental essence that I’d absorbed into my soul. I don’t really have a way to describe it; a feeling of powerful attraction, a moment of perfect bliss as I was made whole, then I popped out the other side feeling that I’d lost something important.

After the dizzyingly terrifying whirlpool, the other side was so peaceful, so calm. I was unable to understand what was going on at the time. Now, I know that the Elemental Sea flows purely between two points an nearly infinite distance apart from each other. The further you are from the next pearl, the calmer the sea. In the past, I had been on the top of the elemental sea, and now I was on the bottom of it.

As I slowly recovered from the experience, I realized that after leaving the whirlpool the massive seas that were forced to compact in order to flow through the pearl were spreading out again. I could only see the seas next to me at this point, the rest had already disappeared beyond the horizon. This was my chance to actually move into the Sea of Fire!

I ran as fast as I could, moving as diagonally to my left and back towards the pearl, where the sea’s were closer together. Thankfully, as long as I had essence I never tired, so I was able to fight and move constantly. Unfortunately, the sea just kept getting further and further away as I couldn’t run faster than the currents flowing towards the next pearl. The further we got from the pearl, the wider the seas got. The Lightning Sea was maybe 100 feet wide after it got through the pearl; by the time I realized what I needed to do it was a few thousand feet wide. Now, I have no way of telling how wide it had gotten. Only my unending effort, and the fact that the rate of growth slowed down after a while allowed me to reach the Sea of Fire at all. Even then, it was a close-run thing as I was forced to move as fast as I possibly could for years on end. Thankfully, I was always able to keep the Sea of Fire visible just at the edge of the horizon. Or all that effort would’ve gone to waste.

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At least a decade of effort finally paid off as I reached the edge of the Sea of Fire. By this point, the Lightning Sea had become a part of my very existence, it had purified my soul and healed me, but I had been asleep for most of the process. Perhaps, I should’ve picked the Sea of Wind or Water first, but I went from the most violent sea to the second most violent sea, and this time I was conscious. I was ignorant, and didn't stop to think about the properties of the element I was going to get in tune with.

The Sea of Fire burnt me; burnt my very soul. The further I walked into the sea, the hotter it seemed to get. As I’ve said before, the Elemental Sea’s are an extremely dangerous place for the unprepared. If I hadn’t of been born in that Spirit Plane as the Fire-woman’s son my soul would’ve been burnt until nothing of it remained. Instead, the fire purified my soul yet again, baptising it for the second time.

If I were to point to two main themes of this journal, it’d be agony and luck. The luck of the ignorant somehow managing to survive in one of the most hostile places in the universe, and the agony of the changes it wrote upon my soul. Anyone who truly wishes to seek absolute power should understand, and be prepared for, the absolute agony that seeking power will cause you.

Somehow, through all of this I stayed conscious and continued to walk into the fiery essence. I don’t think I could’ve managed it, if it wasn’t for the Fire Essence itself. I have mentioned before that essence seems to have a will of its own; a consciousness. I truly believe this to be true. Individually, each particle of essence just exists to be governed by the laws, but who creates the laws of each essence? Someone, somewhere is the supreme ruler of all fire essence and I suspect that he or she lives somewhere deep within the Elemental Sea of Fire. That’s the only explanation I can give for how I began my time in that sea. Every step forward I would gain a small portion of insight into the element while the fire purifying my soul would intensify. I could hear a voice somewhere telling me when to stop, when I could move forward, rooting for me.

The pain in my soul was beginning to become unbearable, yet I could still hear the voice telling me to go on. It was at this point that the visions began.

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A young man read in the dark of night, his hard eyes had a maniacal glint to them. The title of this text read, “The Pursuit Of Power.” in an ancient, indecipherable language.

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The same man, decades later, climbed a mountain slowly, carefully. In front of him was a baby dragon, perhaps a year old. The gold light coming from inside of him crackled as he roared; feeding on the magical beast he had just hunted.

While the dragon was roaring, the man suddenly uses a spell. His body disappeared, turning into a bolt of lightning so powerful that the world shook.

*Booom*

The dragon was too young, too inexperienced, and the man had struck with perfect timing. The blow might’ve been fatal to an adult dragon, it was definitely fatal to this baby dragon. The man's body was nearly destroyed, yet it seemed that the man had held himself back, stopping the spell just before it reached its maximum power. He was pale, and older than just a moment before. Moving slowly, unsteadily, the man took out a pure black dagger, and cut into the skull of the young dragon.

The man talked to himself, a look of pure ecstasy on his face as he worked, “I will fall into the deepest depths of hell, I will die thousands of deaths, and suffer worse torture than any before me. That shall be my fate should I fail! But, I will not fail! I refuse the bonds of fate! I refuse to be weak! I refuse to die!”

With the final word still echoing across the mountainside the man plunged the dagger into his chest, cutting out his own heart. In its place, he put the core of the dead dragon. As his heart stopped beating, his chest magically healed, his face and body rejuvenated as he lost decades. Power flooded through him.

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I took an unsteady step forward, not quite understanding what these images were. They were accompanied by a gut-wrenching pain as the fire purifying my soul intensified in further.

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A city burns to the ground as a massive, azure dragon with a golden light coming from within fights a man in mid-air. Ice and fire fly everywhere from the dragon as she uses her most powerful magic to kill the man.

Below, the people of the city watch as the hero of the country, their king, faced the horrid beast down. “The King shall prevail!” came from a group of knights clad in armor, the peasants bowed down in worship, and the nobles looked on with jealously while muttering to themselves. “If only I had power! I would be king not this jumped up peasant!”

“MY ONLY CHILD! WHY?!?!??!” came the cry of anguish from the dragon far above.

The man turns into a purple bolt of lightning, laughing “HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! FOR POWER OF COURSE!” In a flash of thunder, the man disappears leaving his country to burn.

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Slowly, ever so slowly, my soul began to evolve yet again. My originally pure purple form changed as fiery wings sprouted from my back. I took yet another step forward into the flames as they grew more and more intense.

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Images of mansions burnt, cities destroyed, and countries ravaged continuously flashed through my soul as it reached a crescendo. The man was old now, very old, and he walked slowly through a village while listening to a woman berate her child. “If you continue to act like such a brat I’m going to sell you to the Demon-Mage Freeney to use for his experimentations.”

The old man stopped suddenly, looking puzzledly at the woman. Slowly, he walked over to her and asked, “Why do you say the Demon-Mage Freeney would buy a child for experiments?”

The woman just looked at the man like he was crazy, “You have to be kidding me? Everyone knows that he’s the most despicable man who has ever lived! He kills tortures and kills children to please the devil he sold his soul too! He no longer has a heart, he ripped it out himself and placed in it’s place a demon's! He rapes princess for sport, using spells to ensure they get pregnant and saying that they should be proud to carry on his lineage!”

She went on and on endlessly. With each accusation, the man’s face crumpled slightly, his shoulders sagged. He left the woman as she continued to hurl accusations of all the terrible things that the Demon-Mage had done at his back.

“What have I done? Did I lose myself so deeply in my pursuit of power that I forgot why I seek it? To think that mothers use my name to scare their children straight…” The old man's shoulders remained humped as he slowly walked away from the village deep in thought.

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My canines retracted, my legs shortened, my body shook. The fires grew even stronger, so strong that my soul started to crack. How much more of this will I be forced to endure? I took another step forwards as if in a trance.

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Several centuries had passed since the woman opened his eyes to what he had become. The old man looked like he was about to blow away on the wind as he sat half-way up a massive mountain, looking down into the tree’s and beautiful scenery below with a look of peace in his eyes.

From behind him, a crystal voice so beautiful and yet terrifyingly powerful spoke sadly, “Why? Why after all these centuries of hiding and fighting do you just show up one day and not even defend yourself!”

Turning, the man found himself looking at a behemoth of might. Four golden claws attached to short, (for someone her size), stubby legs. The Azure body with a golden flame crackling inside of it. Simultaneously colder than ice and hotter than fire; the most beautiful being in existence. “Nice to see you too, Empress.” said the man cordially.

She just snorts, “Answer me, I’d like to know before I kill you.”

“I came to say goodbye. After all these years of fighting, I finally realized that you are my only peer on this world, my only friend. Perhaps, we will meet again in another life.”

The massive dragon seemed aghast, her voice thundering across the valley as she howled, “You call me your friend after you killed my only child?!?!?!”

Smiling at her sadly, the man transformed into a bolt of lightning. Using a forbidden magic, one that burned away his very life force, destroying his body completely, and melding the powerful soul of the man with the element of lightning.

She gasped, unable to believe what he had done, creating the strongest barriers she could of both fire and ice while retreating quickly towards her den. It was too late, he had become one with lightning, gaining a brief moment of control at the cost of his very existence, his soul. Lightning capable of killing a god tore through her barriers, slamming into the dragon. But, it didn’t kill her. No, it caressed her, as if caressing a lover. A voice carried by the wind came to her as the power of the lightning slowly faded away.

“Goodbye, Empress of the Dragons, Ruler of the World. Goodbye, Melinda, my only friend. After all these years, I finally won one of our fights.”

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I was no longer a wolf, but rather a fiery-bird with purple lightning crackling between its wings and in it's tail. The fire had finished purifying my soul. I shook in mid-air, unable to control myself as sobs wracked my soul. Sorrow. Unending, unremitting remorse for what I had done.

“Why? Why? Why am I still alive?”

Chapter Seven - Memories