I was inside of myself. Once again I was in this world. I was formless. Not a shadow. Not a humanoid form. Maybe it would be correct to say that I wasn’t here but that I WAS here. I was an endless void. I observed as souls flickered in and out of existence like candles in the wind. They could not handle it. I didn’t help any of them. Some of those candles could very well be dangerous. And others could be good. But they all deserve a new chance at life. Maybe like me some are hoping to start anew… maybe some are hoping for a life where they don’t remember… Like……... me?

*Crack*

A visible white crack formed in the void but I didn’t care. There was something… something more important to do now. Who… was I? Was I Vedqothur? The tyrant? Kenos? I don’t… I… I don’t… I… can’t…

*Crack*

… I couldn’t understand. I remembered everything. My memories didn’t feel hazy or misty. They were all there just like they had been before… then why… WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I’M BEING SPLIT APART?

*Crack*

I am… a tyrant? A man who took everything by force and didn’t care for the consequences. I was Vedqothur. A dragon born to eradicate his own kind and then died two days later failing to save a single girl. I was Kenos. A man who grew complacent with his powers. Who got foolishly tricked into a trap and was killed by the gods. Which one am I? Am I all three? Am I none?

*Crack*

I was confused. Very… very confused. My memories jumbled together in a mess. I could remember them all. But their order confused me. Their authenticity confused me. Their ownership confused me. Were these memories mine? Were they someone else’s? What came first? Was it Kenos? Vedqothur? The tyrant? Were those memories even real? Were they not twisted I didn’t know. I am… they are… who again?

I decided to put those thoughts on hold. Instead I observed. I observed as Lily and Cel cut down dozens of angels to escape the place where Kenos fell into the trap. I observed the angel which looked like the tyrant’s sister desperately trying to stop them and failing. They had my weapons and they were strong. Maybe if it was only one of them it would have been hard. But they are together.

I observed. I observed the man who I appointed lord of Karpas as he met the new king. The new king was much wiser than his brother. He was still young. Naïve. So he needed an advisor. And the king directly chose the lord of Karpas for it as he was one who valued knowledge just as much as his ancestor who had first built the library in that city. This was… evil? I am… evil? Is doing good… evil? I don’t understand.

I observed. I observed as a soul in my vast being caught my attention. It was trying to shine as bright as possible as if to attract me. I knew who it was. But I didn’t answer it. There was something in me that was screaming at me that I should stop making the soul worry over me. That part was surely Kenos. He had been fond of the man after all. Even if they had only known each other for a day.

“Stop being so pathetic.” (Kenos)

*Crack*

Now I knew. There was a part of him inside of me. Then surely. Vedqothur was here as well. The tyrant has to be too. They must all be here. They must all be worried about me. They must all pity me. They must all hate me. They must all detest me. They must all be me. They must all be themselves. I was them. They were me. But that somehow seemed to not be enough.

Something else caught my attention. An incredibly huge soul appeared in the void of my being. At the core of the soul was a single girl. A single petite girl with platinum hair. A girl who was called the goddess of piece. Kenos once again screamed from inside me. He screamed that I punish her for how she looked at him. For how she treated him as a monster after he trusted her. I refused. I felt it was wrong. I felt he would regret it. Vedqothur too agreed with me.

The girl was carrying a bouquet of flowers. Vedqothur liked those. I wonder if she noticed how he would look at them specifically from time to time in her garden. The flowers were pure white but had a black middle. They had interested Vedqothur because they were made from both his favorite colors and he didn’t know other flowers like those. She put the bouquet down with a tear streaming down her face. I wonder why? Vedqothur felt like she was mourning him. He seemed to really like the girl.

*Crack*

I felt sorry for the girl. She had killed Kenos without even knowing there was a part of Vedqothur in him as well. But it wasn’t too late. As there was a part of him in me as well. But… was that okay? I felt like it wasn’t. He was not supposed to be a part of me. He was supposed to be me yet not me. The same went for Kenos and the tyrant who had remained silent until now. Whatever the case I protected the flowers from my corrosive qualities.

As I thought about the tyrant the image of the angel naturally flickered into my mind. The angel was the spitting image of his sister. I felt him reacting to that. He still didn’t speak though. I guess he didn’t really have a reason to. Or so I thought but I heard him say one thing only.

“Please help her…” (Tyrant)

Vedqothur was the only one who hadn’t spoken yet. Even when Eirene had entered here he communicated through feelings rather than words. He noticed that I was a bit worried about it and waved it off.

“I have nothing to say. You’ll do what you have to and that is what I want you to do.” (Vedqothur)

*Crack*

I finally understood. I wasn’t empty. It was quite the contrary. I wasn’t the void. It was quite the contrary. I wasn’t a god. I was something else. And I had something I needed to do. A few things I needed to do. All the things I needed to do.

*Crack*

Vedqothur told me to find Kate and apologize for not being able to save her back then as well as punish Zahrah. Who knows? The other gods might have all been manipulated by her for all we knew. She’s the goddess of freedom and choice. Thus she has the power to control them. The irony made us both giggle. Finally he also reminded me of Eirene. We needed to save her as well. She was obviously being fooled by Zahrah. The thought filled us with a bit of anger.

*Crack*

Kenos told me to help Cel and Lily. He was worried for them. He had grown quite attached to the two and it was pretty obvious. I also liked them. Remembering Lily laughing filled both me and Kenos with a weird joy and remembering how cute Cel was when we were patting her on the head healed our wounds and made us smile.

*Crack*

The tyrant asked me to better the world. To rid it of trash and to help the good people in it. I agreed with him that I wanted to help it. But I refused to use the same means. I would not use force. Unlike him. I had time. And he seemed to agree with me. If only he had more time he would have made his own world a better place as well. At the thought of helping the world both of us were filled with determination and resolution but before that was over he reminded me about his sister as well. Though we weren’t sure if it was really her he still wanted me to save her. He didn’t want his sister to be a pawn in the game of the gods. I agreed. Nobody should be one of those.

*Crack*

They had all told me what they wanted me to do. Their desires aligned with my own. My own desire. That’s right. A desire. I needed to find my desire first. I can’t just rely on someone elses… That’s right! Why should I find it now? That’s right. A life is a journey. And sometimes a journey is to find a destination. For those who have no place anywhere else. Thus I decided. My desire is to find my desire.

*Crack* *Crack* *Crack*

The previously black void was now covered in white cracks. So much so that the world itself was half white. I was surprised that it had still not fallen apart. Just as I had thought that the world cracked one last time.

*Crack*

And the collapse began. A collapse? Heh… no. This was a transformation. It was just the world reflecting myself. Since this world was by extension myself as well. As the black shards started falling they revealed a white background behind them. They fell but they didn’t hit a floor. They didn’t hit me. Nor did they hit even a single one of the souls here. And they stopped. They just floated. This was now the new void. A white void with black shards reflecting everything within it. Like a huge mirror which has fallen apart into an infinite amount of smaller pieces.

In one of them was reflected an appearance. No longer was he a human. He wasn’t a dragon. Nor was he a shadow. He was himself. He was complete. A man stood with beautiful yet sharp features. His white and black hair was long and seemed well-kept. His eyes were gentle yet firm. None could escape their sharpness and everyone could bask in their light. He looked similar to Kenos and Vedqothur but seemed different at the same time. The main thing differentiating him was the slight light he exuded. A light something like a dragon could never hope to gain. A light that an empty void could never fathom to exist. A light which for a human was not something to emit but something to either bask in or fear. It was me. I was reflected there.

A new me. Different from Kenos. Different from Vedqothur. Different from the tyrant who wished for his name to never be spoken. I was me. I was complete. I was all of them yet none. I was a unique man. I was a void, yet I was an origin. The start and the end. I was not a god. I was something else. Something different. A god is bound to a world. A god is bound to rules. A god is bound to their nature. I understood what Zahrah felt like. She was bored. She wanted a way to bypass the rules and have some fun. Maybe… maybe she was just stupid. Maybe she thought that tricking the tyrant was a funny idea. Maybe she thought creating Vedqothur was a bright idea. Maybe she didn’t understand that would create Kenos as well.

Now that I think about it she seemed a bit nervous in that last encounter. I could only giggle at that. What a moron. She probably didn’t expect us to come back as someone else. Maybe she just wanted some innocent fun at the expense of an old man who was tired of life. For that she will pay the price.

Now enough about me. I looked around. There was no longer a corrosive effect in this place. Instead it was a healing one. Yet now it would also not be free to enter for those gods either. The souls would still not remember who they were when they left but they will surely feel better about life. I smiled gently as I looked over at the souls. In each of the shards their past appearances and memories were revealed. I only gently looked on. I didn’t touch their memories nor did I peek in them. The only thing I did which showed a single soul some favor was thank it.

Before I left I stopped and wondered. A name? I was no longer the tyrant whose name was never spoken, nor was I Vedqothur or Kenos. Then would I need a new name? No… I felt like it was only a convenience. I didn’t want to adopt any of their names but I didn’t want to abandon them and adopt a new one either. I thought about it but I just realized there was no need for a new name. Like I said before. I was them yet I was not. Thus I can just use their names… well I guess the tyrant wouldn’t want me to use his. He wanted a new start after all. Well. Maybe I can add looking for a name to the list of things I want to do.

With a gentle smile I left the place which was no longer the void and had now become something else entirely. There was no need to name it though. That place was simply me. It was simply myself. No need for fancy names or the like. I stepped out of the world and the place I found myself made me laugh. I was in front of the city of Tunik in the Beastlands. Far enough away for no one to see me but close enough for me to laugh at what might have happened if I had shown up in the council room. Then again I wasn't sure if there was a Council right now. It has been aproximately a month since the start of my little reformation after all I turned around and headed south. I needed to return to Astrain first. There are more than a few things there I might need to fix after all so why not start there? Funnily enough Lilyand Cel were there as well so that's double the reason for me to go there first.

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Welp. Here you have it. The birth of the true MC. Wonder how many people aren't gonna like what I'm doing here. Well if you don't you can simply leave I'm not going to beg you to stay. After all I write because I enjoy it and I write what I enjoy. In other news. This would pretty much be the end of the first arc if I had any. So thanks for reading untll now. And thanks for the comments, favorites and follows as well as reviews. That's... pretty much all I wanted to say.... kbye.