OMAKE: Diana’s Adventures in Percy Jackson & the Olympians

Summer Solstice

Olympus, 600th Floor of the Empire State Building, Manhattan NY

POV Zeus, the Lord of the Sky and King of the Gods

Me: Poseidon! How many times must I say that Lightning is so much cooler than your stupid storms?

Poseidon: But brother, I believe that our disasters match our personalities. Your lightning is over in a flash while I, like a storm, can maintain that passion and strength for days on end.

…!!

I grabbed my Master Bolt just as the other gods began to snicker at Poseidon’s comment. How dare he…I am King! A King shouldn’t have to suffer these humiliations from his subjects.

Me: Now you listen here brother! I don’t care much about the—

I paused. I paused because I felt something appear out of nowhere in the sky. High above the United States…nearly even above my domain but barely within its boundaries. I couldn’t identify who it was…strange.

Me: Someone just entered the upper atmosphere…and I cannot tell who it is

Poseidon: Oh~ So you mean that there is someone in your domain and you couldn’t even tell who? Or even what?

This really was strange. I knew everything that entered the sky. From Demigods on Pegasi, to mortals on planes and even down to the smallest birds learning to fly. But who was this being to be able to escape my view? My sight?

Me: …This isn’t normal. I cannot take this matter lightly.

*Rumble* *Rumble*

Thunder rumbled behind the Empire State Building as I regained the order in the room. Laughter disappeared from Poseidon’s face as he realized I was being serious. There were very few beings who could escape sight from a god’s domain. Father, grandfather, and perhaps some who were equally as powerful. Whoever it was…it wasn’t a good sign.

Me: Hermes

Hermes: Yes father?

My son turned to me with his mischievous nature gone. All duty

Me: Find who it is and report to me. I want to know as soon as possible…now.

With a nod, he turned into a swirl of wind and was gone. I could only hope that whoever this was wasn’t a threat or held no ill will. If this being was anything like father…

I shivered

Hopefully there wouldn’t be a repeat of the Titanomachy War. One was already enough.

POV Diana

Entering the upper atmosphere of a very familiar world was not something I had expected but not something unwelcome. In all honesty, I had missed Earth. Sure it wasn’t a place I would call home anymore with staying in All Blue (Planet name for the One Piece World) for over 4000 years as well as a couple centuries in our new one…still, it was nostalgic.

The first thing I immediately noticed as I glanced down at the world was that…it was messy. Very very messy. While I was second only to my sister in the use of magic, it didn’t come naturally to me like mana did to her. Still, through the enhancement of my eyes, I was able to see the many many layers this world had.

I could tell that this was not my Earth but rather a parallel or a different version at least. My old world held no God, or gods…but this one was filled with them. There were so many to count but I could separate their root powers from a couple sources.

The different Pantheons of this world; the major ones would be the Greek/Roman, Egyptian, Norse, and even the Chinese…huh. I could sense a couple Shinto Gods in Japan but they were nowhere as strong as the Western Gods which seemed to have covered the entire world in their trace.

The strangest thing about the whole thing would be that each Pantheon was trying their very best to not get involved with each other at all. Overlapping layers of divinity in the world, yet, they refuse to mix. How interesting.

Perhaps I am in that world. Thought I wasn’t sure if this was a world that Riordan saw or created. Those two would be very different. A mortal’s mind could only come up and hold with so much whereas reading and writing down a world one sees would be much easier and filled with much much more.

This was when my pleasant little tea time break was interrupted by three old ladies. It didn’t take a genius to guess who they were. Especially with them holding a ball of yarn, string, and a very sharp pair of scissors.

Me: The Three Fates…or rather their readers. It is quite amusing as how often mythology and even the other immortals don’t realize that.

Clotho: The Unity…We did not know that you would be here?

Lachesis: This is a great surprise…how could we be surprised?

Atropos: Fate is all seeing, all encompassing. My Lady, please explain.

Huh, it seems that these ladies have been stuck in their own world for far too long that they have thought their fate to be the Universal Law. Oh how little they knew.

Me: I guess the three fates is not a bad entourage though I did think it would either be Chaos, Chronos, or even Nyx who welcomes me. They would know exactly what my purpose is and why your fate doesn’t hold me.

I smiled at them

Me: The answer is simple really…I’m too strong for fate. The strings of fate which try to hold me will snap. The guiding hand of fate will break it’s hold on me. Me, the Unity, is a power far stronger than what your world can handle. The fates do not control my actions…as long as I am in this world, your fate is powerless.

Clotho: …We suspected as much.

Lachesis: A shame truly. It seems even fate has a limit. A limit in which we have never saw. Even the greatest and first of this world was subject to fate.

Atropos: But it would make sense that the one beyond this world is free of its shackles. We welcome you to this world my lady.

Me: Why thank you. Now if you are done with your introductions and welcome, I would like to enjoy this world. It has been far too long since I have visited a Earth…mind you, not this one.

The three fates visibly relaxed. At least they knew that they could sense my presence when I came to their world. Of course that would be entirely dependent on my mood of whether I want to be known or not. In this case, I did not particularly care so those who were sensitive to their domain would know of someone’s arrival. I would guess that I was giving Zeus a headache right now.

Clotho: Of course My Lady…but we beg of you to not mess with the strings of fate too much.

Lachesis: Life and fate must continue as it was meant to be

Atropos: Life must end when it is dictated. While the consequences may not apply to you, the moment your presence is gone the strings of fate will be quick to restore what was meant to be.

Huh, so another will of Gaea huh? Not the Earth Mother but rather a guiding force that tries to keep everything Canon. Well, I had no intention of letting a cruel dictating Titan rule nor the Giants or Earth Mother herself.

Me: Well then, would you be so kind to tell me whether the son of Poseidon has handed the cursed blade to the Son of Hermes yet?

Lachesis: Percy Jackson has yet to be aware of his godly parent. He is blissfully unaware of his parentage and will remain so for a year or slightly more.

Me: I see…

So it was still before the events of the Lightning Thief. I guess this wasn’t a bad thing. It would give me plenty of time to prepare and set up my own place and plans in this world. I was so going to take advantage of the time and freedom I’ve been given in this world. Things were going to be so much easier without the denizens (slaves) of Nazarick and Society trying to ease my burden and ironically giving me more of a headache.

Me: I guess that’s fine. I would hate to see the world burn under the rule of the Titans or Mrs. Sleepy Dirt. Though I can’t promise I’ll ignore how things go; I came here to have fun and I will have it.

Clotho: Of course my lady…whatever you wish is in your power.

With that, the three fates disappeared. Well, more like teleported back into their domain but to the naked eye it looked as if they simply fizzled away.

Far far away I could sense another godly being approaching at easily a quarter of light-speed. Man, this guy was fast. Probably Hermes since he would be the fastest of the gods. Unfortunately for him I didn’t really plan on meeting any of the gods yet or revealing who I am. That would have to wait for another time.

Before Hermes could even find me, I teleported away (the whole situation was less than a hundredth of a second) to Las Vegas. Well, more specifically the trap set up in Las Vegas.

Here I was on Earth with pretty much no money. I could easily swap things out for currency or make fake ones but it was always a hassle when the authorities figured out that there is a double with the money. It wasn’t like currency here was a valuable metal or a code where I could hack; it was literal paper with their serial numbers on them and trackable. In these cases, it was always better to go the traditional way and be safe with those.

But honestly, that took too long. Setting up a business or selling crap to build up a fund was boring. We already did all of that. If I was going to do anything like that…then I was going to start at the top and do it.

With that, I walked into the Lotus Casino.

For the Early 2000s on Earth, I did have to give it to the Lotus Eaters for making this place quite nice. Of course it was nothing compared to our realm but it really wasn’t fair to compare the realm of gods to mortals. Still, the place was impressive. The Lobby immediately gave it the feel of luxury with modern day style. It was classic with the marble floors yet classy with the dubstep sound or the bright lights going off to the back where the casino was.

Not even a couple seconds after I entered, I was met with an employee who welcomed me. From his name tag, I found out his name was ‘Jack’. Huh, would have expected more of a Greek name but maybe they were trying to make people feel more comfortable with this. Nice marketing strategy I guess…?

Jack: Hello! Welcome to the Lotus Casino. Here’s your Room Card for Suite Room 3994! Don’t Worry, everything’s already been paid for. *wink* I can already tell you’re going to have a hell of a time here.

Me: Why thank you *stare* Jack. Umm…You know, could you tell me more about this place? I’ve never been here.

Jack: Of course. What would you like to know dear customer?

Too Easy

Me: I mean, you offered me a Suite Room when I haven’t even paid anything yet. Truthfully I feel a bit interested in what other types of rooms there are. You see, I’m an architect.

Jack: Our rooms have all been designed by the best of each era! We have rooms custom designed for every type of customer. We have Traditional Asian, Classic, Gamer, Modern, Renaissance, you name it, we have it!

Me: Wow! I would love to see them all. Could I try sleeping in each one?

I pulled up my (adorable) little sister’s trick of looking cute. Look up a bit and widen your eyes and bite your lower lip. Honestly, she did it so much better than I did but I guess it worked. He didn’t even hesitate when he took out a stack of cards from who-knows-where from his back before handing them to me.

Jack: The room numbers are all listed on the Cards themselves. Please enjoy your stay here Dear Customer

With that, he walked back to his original place, seemingly satisfied with himself for thinking he lured another victim into the lair of the Lotus Eaters. Well, technically he wasn’t wrong…only that I went in willingly. If these guys wanted to give the best stuff in the world to the ones who want them for free, they can do what they want to. Honestly, the true heroes of this world were the Lotus Eaters in my point of view. They even gave people a form of Immortality in a way (by stopping the passage of time).

I looked at the stack of cards in my hand. Well…that was much easier than I thought it would be. With this, I was probably going to be easily one of the richest people alive. I don’t trust that the card truly holds infinite money as that is impossible but it should easily be beyond what a taxi could hold. Probably in the higher millions per card would be my guess.

Rule 2…identification. I could get away by manipulating the mist or scaring off the foolish ones but if I do plan on staying here for a while (which means years), then identification is absolutely crucial. It just happens to be that this hotel is stacked with people who can barely see a feet ahead of themselves…much less their rooms when they are too busy gambling and playing away their lives.

As I waded through the casino, I tried to find someone who looked relatively young and dressed like someone one in the modern day (not medieval or anything before 1950s at least). Finally, I found the right person.

A girl, around 5’5’’. A little taller than me but close enough. Looked pretty young. Either in her late teens or barely past 20 I would guess. Brunette…nearly black hair which matched mine. Most importantly

Girl: Uhh…I was born in 1983

Identification passport would not have changed yet.

Me: What’s your room again? I just want to hang out with you today

Girl: uhhh…I think it was Room 3898…right? Oh, thanks

She took a Lotus treat and immediately I saw her face relax and turn back to her X-Box Call Of Duty game which shouldn’t even be out yet.

Me: Well, sure. See you later I guess

NOT

I took off for the elevators with the card that I stole from her and put the card on the scanner. The Elevator (smart little thing) took me to the correct floor as I exited and walked directly into her room.

I pretty much emptied the entire place taking even the bed before I flipped through her papers and identification.

Me: Lily…nice name I guess. Shame I’ll have to change it.

I kept the passport numbers and all but I molded reality for the name and picture to change into me.

Diana Vanir Fujitora

Much better. Now I can legally begin to crack open this world without the mortals finding a way to mess it up and being suspecting foul supernatural play.

Oh, did I mention I took the shotgun as well? Funny as how something like that is in a hotel with (very) high customers without a problem but who cares.

As I found doors and gates to be overrated, I simply walked over to the balcony before dropping down and out of range for the Lotus Eaters. (Not) Finally, free of their influence.

I had to agree that Earth was pretty fun. Arcania was just about up to Earth level technology over the last centuries (since Nazarick and Society pretty much handed out free technology every decade to accelerate growth) but it still developed in a very different way.

Walking around the streets of Las Vegas was…refreshing to say the least. Filling myself up with Junk Food I didn’t even remember existing and walking into casinos with my Luck Stat (which I control) pretty much guaranteeing a win every time. As for the relaxation and the rooms…well, it wasn’t Society or Nazarick so it would be unfair to expect the same quality. No one can.

Walking down the streets was fun to say the least. It was simply amazing how much the mist covered the people’s (or mortal’s) eyes. I saw all sorts of monsters making their living waiting for a demigod or someone with immortal blood to maim and kill. I even saw one of them running a Nacho stand (it actually wasn’t so bad). The best part? Mortals just went about their business blissfully ignorant of how close they were to danger. Well, not that the monsters would want to, much less eat, mortals anyway. Besides, even the mist had their limits should they decide to go killing mortals.

After days of prancing around, setting up accounts and a fake business (& licence) to explain where all the money came from, I decided it was time to do the actual plot. Well, more like messing with the plot. Not the result hopefully but twists here and there.

Casually cutting through a hole in reality, I walked out on the other side to see a nice view of Manhattan. New York, the center stage for the Percy Jackson series. I guess I’ll have to buy a place here or something. As much as my little sister loves hotels and things, I would much rather have my privacy and room by having my own place.

*knock* *knock*

Pig: Who’s there?

Me: School

Pig: School Who?

Me: School Your Pig Ass

*CRASH!!!*

I Sparta Kicked the Door open as I sent Smelly Gabe *ew* rolling back and crashing into the Poker table with his equally disgusting friends.

Brandishing a Standard (?) Issue Golden Desert Eagle (cause I’m classsyyyy), I pointed the end at his fat ass

Me: This is a Robbery. Get out.

They didn’t need to be told twice. Forgetting all about the cash and poker chips left behind on the table, their tiny stumpy legs somehow gave them the necessary strength to run out the house in a matter of seconds.

The moment they were out, I nicely closed the door (which I fixed) and locked it behind me. When I turned back around I saw one Sally Jackson, the Legendary Mom, holding a knife at me.

Me: Are you going to threaten me Ms. Jackson?

Sally: Is it going to work?

Me: Well…not with a knife but maybe if you threaten not to give me a 7 Layer Dip…

*smirk*

Me: I mean no harm. You can relax now

I went over to the mess of a table and picked up a chair that Gabe did NOT sit on before letting myself fall onto it. Crossing my legs, I looked up at the woman who looked at me as if she couldn’t believe what I was saying.

Me: I was serious you know? Clear sighted as you are…you probably already knew that I wasn’t human. Tell me, what do you see?

She blinked her eyes as if to see through the mist. Shame that there was no mist altering my appearance or logic. I was who I was…well, I was technically an Omni-Dragon God and half a World Tree (Unity) but as of right now, I was who I am.

Sally: I see…you? You’re not human…but you look exactly like one. You feel like a human but my intuition is telling me that something is off. Are you a god?

Me: You mean like those Greek fools who simply alter their clothing with the mist and walk around so that clear sighted beings like yourselves could see them walking around in loincloths?

Sally: Yes

Me: Well then, the answer is no. I have an actual Wardrobe that I use.

*stare…*

Me: And I’m not a Greek god.

Sally: So you’re a god

Me: Can you try with a capital G?

Sally: goddess of Arrogance?

Me: Try again. Just without Arrogance and changing ‘g’ to a ‘G’

Sally: Goddess of Trickery?

…

Me: You know what? Fine. This will probably be simpler anyway.

Gathering a number of memories into my hand, I tapped my fingers on her forehead before she can lean back. Letting her know the truth of who I am. Of course, not everything like how I used to (once) be a human or even my life at All Blue with my sister but rather my role as the Unity. Keeping beings of immeasurable power in check and removing the law breakers.

Centuries worth of memories compacted and juiced into a few seconds…the recoil of the mind from all the information should be great. Yet, all Sally said was…

Sally: You have a cute sister. I would like to have a daughter like her.

Me: …that’s all you have to say? Even after you know who I am? Not scared or suddenly feel an itch to call me with a capital G now?

Sally: Nah. I think you forgot to take out the part where you just came here to have fun and just randomly stepped through a portal that your little sister opened. How cute. I didn’t know All Powerful Beings of the cosmos needed a vacation.

Me: It’s a stressful job.

Sally: No it’s not.

Me: It’s not a stressful job. Kara and I just wanted an excuse to do something stupid.

Sally: Sounds like the right answer. Now you wait here little miss while I make my famous 7 Layer Dip for you!

Me: *smile* Yes Ma’am.

POV Sally

If anyone in my life ever told me that I would have a real omnipotent ‘God’ with a capital G walk into my house and talk to me, I would not have believed whoever said that and call them crazy.

What more though was that I had somehow managed to tame this almighty being currently leaning on the couch and devouring my 7 Layer Dip with extra crunchy chips.

Diana: Ohhh~ *moan* This is so good!

*crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

Me: You know dear, nobody’s going to take that away from you. You can take your time and eat it.

Diana: I won’t say this is better than Sous’s Chef because it’s not in terms of taste alone but you somehow managed to make it touch the Soul!

Ohhhhkay? I guess I’ll take that as a compliment.

Sitting down in front of her, I decided to interr—*cough* ask her some more questions. Well, with the Dip in front of her she did seem a lot more friendly and open than before.

Me: So why are you here?

Diana: *crunch* *Crunch* I thought you knew. I’m here to have fun.

Me: Yes, I understand that. But why here? In my home.

Diana: Oh. Sorry. It’s just that sometimes I forget that not everybody knows the Prophecy.

Prophecy? That can’t be good.

Me: What prophecy? Does it include Percy? Is he in trouble?

Diana: Well…I guess? But that doesn’t matter now.

DOESN’T MATTER? What??!

I guess my glare was enough of an answer as after just on—tw—*crunch* *crunch* seven more bites later she returned to answering my glare.

Diana: Cause I’m here. I overpower fate and prophecies alike. As long as I’m involved, fate has no power.

But that doesn’t answer the question of whether or not Percy’s in trouble…oh wait.

Me: Let me guess. The Prophecy involves my son dying and you’re here to save him?

Diana: No. He’s going to valiantly save Olympus and the world while only losing a couple friends, hundreds of innocent mortals, almost you and his girlfriend, and many many many near death encounters until he gets a small happy ending which will probably not last long.

…

…

Me: That was how it was supposed to go?

Diana: Pretty much yeah. But even if he does make it through everything like he is supposed to, I doubt this world would last long.

Excuse me?

Diana: I mean Kronos, Giants, and Gaea sure but what about Chaos, Tartarus, Nyx, and the more evil oriented beings of the Greek Pantheon? Not to mention Apophis is on the rise again and planning on devouring the world with Ra going senile.

????!!

Diana: Then there’s the Vallhalla and Asgard issue where gods and goddesses are losing their powers and weapons left and right being irresponsible. Then like always they’re all being absolute dicks to each other while their enemy is preparing and getting ready for Ragnarok so they can wipe out gods and humanity for good.

??!!!!!!!

Diana: Then there’s the Chines—-

Me: OKOK! I get that our world’s pretty…for a lack of a better word, fucked up. But we’ve managed to survive this long and maybe it’ll be alright. But could you please help my son?

Diana: *pout* I’m not a babysitter. I’m an All Powerful God.

Me: I’ll make you anything you like anytime you visit! Please Diana? For me? For my Food at least?

Diana: *grumble* *grumble* Fine. But I’m not babysitting him. I’ll just make sure he has less near death experiences and actually survives.

I hugged her. Careful to avoid spilling my 7 Layer Dip when I reached across and brought the young looking girl (14? 15? Teenager for sure) in for a hug.

Me: I’ll make you all the Dips you want.

And that was how I managed to tame an Almighty Goddess to protect my son for whatever was coming.

The next few hours were quite interesting…and long. I’ll give you the easy run down though. Through the use of available evidence, bribery, genjutsu, I managed to to smelly Gabe arrested for Abuse of both his wife and step-son. Through some more coincidences, he hit an officer who was trying to explain the situation for him. Well, that would earn him at least a decade in jail together.

After that whole incident I convinced Sally to move into a better apartment and do her job at the candy store part-time and start writing again.

Me: Wait…so Harry Potter doesn’t exist in this world???

Sally: Seriously, I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Me: Alright then Sally. Now listen to me. There was once this young boy called Harry Potter…

And by stealing J.K Rowling’s work who just happened to not exist in this world (Idk, Hecate wtf?) I managed to plant the inspiration of a magical world full of idiots who didn’t see the importance of technology into her brain as she began brainstorming the world she *cough* would be creating.

Me: I’ll be your publisher. Though that also means my company will be taking 60%.

Sally: Hey wai—

Me: That’s honestly a good deal Sally. Most Publishers take around 80% straight up. 10% for fees and the remaining 10% to you. What that means is if you sell a $20 Hardcover book, most authors would get $2 for it.

Sally: Well that’s true but you and I are friend?

Me: Business is business. Money is money right?

Sally: …alright then. Just make sure not to miss any errors.

Me: We haven’t really started yet so maybe that’s talk for tomorrow. So while Percy’s at boarding school, why don’t we talk about moving?

After signing up a contract between Sally and myself (as well as my fake business which now has an official branch for publishing), I persuaded (forced) her to move to a better place. Still in Manhattan, of course, but somewhere where it smelled less like a pig and with actual space to move and relax. Along with a space dedicated or her to write her totally original Harry Potter Universe.

Me: This looks fine right?

Sally: I…I can’t accept all this!

Me: Already did Sally. You signed the contract and that includes you agreeing to the housing we provide you with.

Sally: I’m sure there was nothing like…you changed the details!!

I feigned ignorance before handing her the teas and explaining the most importance feature of this new apartment.

Me: By the way, you don’t need to get another Gabe or a smelly thing here anymore. I set up a small Sanctum spell here to cover both you and Percy’s scent. As long as monsters aren’t deliberately looking for a son of Poseidon named Percy Jackson with a hint of blue chocolate who may or may not have the Master Bolt and is a Fury of the Underworld…they won’t find him.

Sally: …I think I missed a lot of important details but for my sanity’s sake I will choose to ignore them.

Me: Good decision Sally. Now where’s that Dip? Also…teach me?

She smiled before gesturing me to follow into the new apartment.

Sally: Might as well use this chance to see how good the kitchen here is. Heard you pretty much put everything modern here. Now follow me. That seven layer dip didn’t come from the top of my head you know?

Sipping a cup of morning coffee at a cafe along the busy streets of Manhattan, I was interrupted when a man sat in front of me. Not someone I’ve met, but rather someone I could recognize. Seeing through the mist, it was rather obvious.

Not too tall but not short either. A very athletic build with messy brown hair. A cap, a toga, sandals with wings as well as a staff with two live snakes around it. At least, that was how it was without the mist at all. It was Hermes; god of messengers, thieves, trickery, and the passing into the afterworld.

*sip* I looked at the man again as he fidgeted in his seat. Not knowing whether to start the conversation or wait for me to begin. *sip* Well, I wasn’t really planning on meting him so I was going to pretend he didn’t exist.

I opened up the first draft of Sally’s Harry Potter books ‘The Sorceror’s Stone’. Little difference from the original Philosopher’s Stone but I could tell little bits of Sally language and humor in the bunch. I let out a smirk as I read how vividly she was able to describe Gab—*cough* Vernon. The Vernon family…yup.

Hermes: Umm…miss?

Me: Hmm? Oh yeah. Seat’s not taken so you’re free to sit there.

Hermes: Well you see that’s not really my question. Actual—

Me: If that’s not your question, then feel free to leave.

*Silence*

Hermes continued to fidget uncontrollably while I went back to the stack of papers. Hermes’s phone (or staff??) began to ring and he answered a call there before flipping it shut and turning back to me. Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, he tried to get my attention.

*thud* I put down the papers a little irritated before looking up to see him again.

Me: What?

Hermes: Umm… uhhh…are you an immortal?

…

Me: Yes. I thought that was obvious. Is there anything else you want to ask me? Or rather should I say your daddy?

Hermes: Actually we don’t really know who you are. You see we’re actually the Olympians and we run this planet actually. We just…uhh…don’t have you under any papers or anything. Also you’re really…*squeak* strong…?

Poor guy. My aura was one of a conqueror; like a natural watered down version of conqueror’s haki. My allies were empowered while those who didn’t feel as good of me felt trapped, cornered, and brought our their fear in my presence. Those who had no opinion of me or vise versa were unaffected by my aura whatsoever. At least it’s better than Ares’ aura who simply made people want to punch him.

Me: I guess that would be true. I am much much stronger than your little pantheon combined many times over. Countless times actually.

I gave him an evil glint as he shuddered and looked down.

Me: I’m not here to wipe your planet or your kind though. At least…not now. So tell me, why are you here?

Hermes: Father wanted me to find out who entered his domain and hid from him. I think I really should be going now. Bye!

Sending his consciousness into the wind, he was gone in a swirl of wind. Leaving me alone in the cafe once again. I hadn’t really planned on meeting an Olympian (save maybe Poseidon) this early but I guess this was fine as well. It was Hermes after all, he was one of the better caring ones who wouldn’t want to risk trouble. I can already imagine Zeus stuck up in his head thinking he can take on anybody. Well…the day he tries against me would be the end of the Greek Gods once and for all. It was stupid of them to think that they were truly immortal just because they had tied themselves to this world for (slow) resurrection. An enhanced haki filled punch would destroy their essence all the same. That or throwing them off into the edge of chaos.

It was rather obvious when the Lightning Thief began. Starting on the Winter Solstice things have been rather hectic around America as a whole. The weather looked murderous with the Sea brewing up storms high enough to reach the sky while the Sky, in turn, has been raging down lightning barrages down onto the ocean. Well…it wasn’t the first thing that happened sure. The most obvious sign would be when Hermes came to visit me again.

Ironically sitting at the same cafe (and seat) sipping my Hazelnut Latte when the poor businessman came to face me again.

Hermes: Hello Miss

Me: I see it’s you again. Let me guess, Zeus and Hades lost their Symbols of Power and now you want to see if it is me who stole them.

Hermes: Uncle Hades too??! Wait, wait. That’s not important right now. So, did you Miss?

I scoffed.

Me: Of course not. I have much better weapons than your father’s little zapping pen and your Uncle’s little invisibility cap.

Hermes: (whisper) They’re the strongest weapons in existence…*sulk*

Me: Also you can go tell your father to shove his spare bolt up his kingly ass. Besides, why is he even blaming Poseidon for this?

Hermes: Well you see…I shouldn’t really be telling you this so-

Me: Let me guess then. Zeus is naturally skeptical due to his nature and his current largest threat is Poseidon. Ever since the incident where Poseidon and a few others trapped Zeus in that net and threatened Zeus to be a better king Or else- he has’t really trusted Poseidon since then. Now he thinks this is another ploy of his?

Hermes: how…how did you…?

Me: That’s utterly and completely stupid.

*rumble* Thunder crackled in the distance. Looks like some petty god was listening to our talk.

Hermes: Ummm…Miss. could you refrain from insulting father while we talk?

Me: Hey Zeus. If you try rumbling thunder or lightning while I’m talking, I’ll break that fragile domain of yours and trust me when I say it’s quite easy. I’ll enjoy it too.

No response. Looks like that worked.

Hermes: *Surprised Pikachu Face*

Me: Now don’t make that surprised Pikachu Face. If enough of those Lovecraftian great Old Ones piss you off, you learn to do the impossible quite well. Disgusting fuckers really. Beating them up and killing them is easy but you have to kill most or enough of their followers as well so they won’t return in a couple million years. That’s the annoying part of the ones who has a cult around them and tied their power to it.

Hermes: I’ll make sure to tell father not to mess with you.

Me: Good. Also, you should also tell him not to mess with Poseidon as well. This is one war he won’t win…especially without the other Olympians at his side.

Hermes: ummm…may I ask why? Zeus is the King of the Gods

Me: A warrior is more powerful than a King most of the time. Besides, Zeus is out of practice and is missing his Symbol of Power. On the other hand, Poseidon has faced Oceanus for millennia as well as other threats constantly. He has trained with Triton and has kept his Merman Army in shape in preparation for war. Poseidon still has his Trident as well. It’s quite obvious that Ares, Hades, and you second generation gods will mostly side with him as well. So the outcome is pretty obvious.

Hermes: …I guess you’re right.

Me: Athena and Athena will probably step out while Hera merely pretends to help Zeus as well, just for appearance’s sake. But hey, this is just my outlook which has never been wrong before so if Zeus wants a war with the sea…tell him I’ll bring popcorn and watch it play out on the beach.

Hermes: uuhhhh…alright then miss. I have a feeling I’ll see you again soon.

Me: Say hi to Mercury for me as well. Off with you then.

Just like that, the God of Messengers was gone. Well, it looks like things were about to get heated up. I wasn’t one for skipping out on the action but I didn’t plan on joining the mess and following them around like a boring self-insert. Manipulation, control, and watching from a distance was always more fun.

I spent the next few days preparing the usual stuff; taking over the Business Underworld for Immortal Blood, named ‘Ichor’, while also running Sally’s book through a number of editors and planning of releasing it as soon as possible. I wasn’t lacking funds by any means but a cover would always help avoid suspicion.

While the books were on their way, the underworld business was so much more interesting. Both Camps, Half Blood and Jupiter, were very different but also too reliant and open to Monster Attacks. Camp Half Blood had nothing more than a tree which could very easily be poisoned/cut or other ways to destroy it while Camp Jupiter had their God which left anywhere outside the Senate to burn in flames.

Basically…they needed better equipment and technology. Children of Hephaestus might be able to produce Mechanic Horses capable of breathing fire and trampling monsters but the question is why don’t they produce them in mass numbers to release them onto the outside? Easy…they didn’t have their sources to get everything they needed.

That was exactly what I was providing. Both as a source and finished products. Through the mana transfiguration I could produce however much celestial metals as I want as well as create total Cyberpunk weapons.

Besides, the world was a lot larger than I had initially thought. It wasn’t just the pantheons…it was the people as well. Perhaps the blessings of the Gods from different pantheons had affected the people but many had crossed over to a different layer entirely. Another barbaric society built on power alone…still struggling for it actually. Reminds me of The Gamer Universe though not nearly as organized, diverse, or powerful.

Me: Multiply [Maximize Magic - Lower NPC Creation: Worker Bots]

In the large underground area under New York, hundreds of automatons filled the area as they began to line up. Using the little magic they had, production lines began to rise up as the lines connected to the lines I had created.

Commander Bot 1: Commencing Ichor Industrialization: Automatic FireArms

Commander Bot 2: Commencing Ichor Industrialization: Synthetic Limbs & Organs

Commander Bot 3: Commencing Ichor Industrialization: Anti-Monster Fence

Commander Bot 3: Commencing Ichor Industrialization: Battle Droids

The lights came on as the underground facility began to tremble as the machinery were activated all at once and the production began. Very soon I would be the most influential being in the supernatural realm regardless of pantheon.

Me: Send out a message…quietly. We want them to come to us rather than us reaching out to them. Perhaps…perhaps issuing a quest will do.

At my side, an automaton that could be passed as a human nodded before confirming my orders.

Abyss: Yes My Lady. Confirming Camp Jupiter, Camp Half Blood, and the Egyptian Sanctums as well as the Supernatural Midgard dwellers.

Me: That sounds about right. Tell me about the Abyss Auction I’ve had you set up.

Abyss: We have found that this world holds many supernatural worlds that the will of Gaea…not mother Earth…has kept separate from each other. The Supernatural of this world is violent and unorganized. While many have tried to control it, the constant unexpected factors as well as the violent nature of the Supernatural as a whole has continued to make it impossible.

Me: That doesn’t matter. I don’t want to control it at all. I just want to be part of it with the Auction

Abyss: The Abyss Auction is still in its growing phase. We will be able to release it in a couple of months with all of our starting items prepared as well as reaching out through the Deep Dark Web. Make sure to make it untraceable…even for Demigods so that they use it.

Me: Connect the worlds and layers…the place is about to get a lot wilder. Also, don’t look down too much on the Earth dwellers. Most of them might be weak but there are a number who might be a threat to you.

Abyss: My Lady. I am a Level 85 Droid created from your mind alone. Our initial scans have only found the best Supernaturals at Level 40 by our standards tops.

Me: Setting up a government is useless so bring order through wealth and blood. I don’t want them interfering when I’m doing my business with the Greek Pantheon.

Abyss: As you wish.

The book or movies never portrayed it as impressive but seeing it with my own eyes…it really wasn’t impressive. Hiding under a number of spells, I was undetectable as I walked straight through the barrier and into the camp. I had arrived before Percy had…I would expect to give him a month a most before he arrives at camp. Despite this, the camp was filled with campers wearing their cheesy orange shirts running around with swords and showing off their horrible skills.

Walking up near the Big House, I saw Dionysus (or Mr. D) looking around as if he sensed something but couldn’t find anything. Probably true as I as stepping through the Strawberry Fields which were loosely tied to his domain. What he felt right now was probably what most people felt like in the showers alone. Definitely no one there…but it just creeps you out sometimes.

I didn’t really come here to inspect the camp though. I was here to steal from the thief after all. I didn’t want to wait for Ares to fuck up and steal my fun…I would be doing it myself. After all, that was why I came today; Friday…or more specifically, Captrue the Flag Friday

Chiron: HEROS! Your time has come and it is time for Capture the Flag! The Ares and Athena Cabin has volunteered to lead the games once again!

The campers cheered as Chiron galloped towards them in all his glory. Huh, I didn’t know that Chiron would be here; I thought he’d be with Percy as ‘Mr. Brunner’ the one and only cool Latin Teacher. I don’t know…did he get a sick leave or something?

Chiron: The rules are the same as always. No dismemberment or killing. Flags must be in clear view and may not have any more than two defenders at a time! The Creek is the boundary line. And now…arm yourselves!

As a table and rack full of armor & weapons appeared, the campers rushed forward like hungry dogs. hmmm….this just proves that most campers didn’t have their own personal equipment. If the Abyss manages to get into contact and establish a proper business…then we might be able to make mad money through this.

I saw Luke on the other side rallying the Hermes’ cabin (and all the unclaimed as well) to one side of the Creek before stationing a few here and there. By the time he reached the Blue Flag (his team), he was alone…with a very suspicious backpack on his back. Hidden with magic…but still obvious.

Checking for magical power, it was quite obvious what was in the backpack. I could sense the bolt and helm inside. It was too easy from the countless years my sister played with the Goro Goro (Rumble Rumble) Fruit as well as the Shadows that the Helm of Darkness felt like.

I could take both right now…but I didn’t. Percy would still need to go on that quest along with Annabeth and Grover. Without the Bolt in Luke’s or Ares’ hand…things would not go the way it is supposed it. So while it was honestly tempting to take and fool around with the bolt, I settled only for the helm.

Being completely hidden from all eyes, Luke didn’t even notice as his backpack slightly opened and the helm disappeared altogether. Looks like the thief will need to watch what he stole a bit more.

As I was backing off, another presence made himself known. An angry aura…one of all bark with maybe a little bit bite. It was Ares…the God of War.

Ares: Ahhh…look who it is It’s the Thief, ain’t it?

Luke turned around as fast as he could to draw his blade but his hand was held down.

Ares: Nuh uh punk. Normally I’d have to lower myself down to your puny level but you stole the bolt which means I don’t need to follow any stupid laws.

He smiled…well, it was more like sneering. He ripped the bag off of Luke’s back before transforming it back into it’s original shape. The Cylindrical sheath of the Master Bolt.

Luke looked visibly confused at where the Helm had gone but now wasn’t the time to worry about that.

Ares: I’ll be taking this back to Zeus, and you with me.

As he grabbed Luke by the collar, the son of Hermes gave in before the talk began.

Luke: Wait! Lord Ares! But with the Bolt missing, Zeus will declare war on Poseidon! It’ll be a war Lord Ares. A war unlike any you have seen before. A War between Olympians. A war between the Big Three

The stupid idiot actually began to drool from the thought of the war. Seriously, this guy was worse than most adrenaline junkies.

Luke: I mean no disrespect but there has not been a real war for a long while. Things are cold now. More bark than bite than anything.

Ares: You’re right. Those stupid mortals doing their diplomacy instead of pulling out their guns.

Luke: But with this war…think of your domain Lord Ares. Your strength when war erupts.

Ares: Yes…Yes…I can see myself basking in glory as both father and Uncle bow down in respect of my new strength!

Luke: And Athena—

Ares: Yes that bitch as well of course.

Hmmm…so Ares is pretty much a loose cannon who can easily be swayed to attack anyone with the right words. Good to know. The rest of the talk continued on like that with Ares only speaking with some actual sense maybe once.

Ares: But what if father finds out?

Luke: Are you afraid Lord Ares?

Ares: What?? Of course not…no…Why would I be? I’m ARES! The God of WAR!!

Luke: Yes Lord Ares. So sorry for doubting you.

And like that the gullible and great God of (children’s) war Ares forgot all about his duty and gave into Luke’s plan of ‘sending some Quest fool to Corpse Breath’s realm to die and spark war’. Luke obviously didn’t like the idea of his fellow demigods dying but what choice did he have in this position?

As Ares took the Master Bolt and left, Luke began to run back around. Probably looking for where the helm went. But that wasn’t my business. He can panic on his own and grieve for it later.

Instead, after stealing a (number of) sack full of Golden Drachmas from the Big House I teleported directly to Central Park where I strongly felt the call of the underworld. My guess was that it was that small entrance where that singing dude sang his way into the Underworld. How it came to appear in America when it should be in Greece I would never know but it was convenient and I wasn’t complaining. It was a better alternative to busting in and risking the destruction of the Underworld or going to Los Angeles (Hollywood) where Charon would probably have some questions for me.

I stared down at the rock before deciding ‘Fuck It’ and kicked it. The rock, unable to stand the blow, cracked down in the middle before revealing a hidden staircase down into the darkness. Taking that as an open invitation, I began to walk down the dark staircase.

To be honest, it was a pretty long staircase but since I was intruding on another’s domain (whom I felt a little respect for) I decided to play nice and actually walk the distance for once.

Coming out to the banks of the river styx, I took a (rather large) sample of the river before continuing on my way towards what seemed like Hades’ palace…or more specifically where the noise was coming from.

But I must comment on this as I walk through the lines and lines of souls waiting to be judged. This is quite a horrible system even with so few people coming to his realm. Billions should be here and yet he only has millions and still the Underworld is close to bursting. Not only that but the system here is so inefficient that Hades encourages Charon to leave behind those people who couldn’t pay for the ride across to wait for centuries before going across. Seriously.

I walked silently pass Cerberus (though he looked kind of confused) as well as the souls. The undead guards had no power as I moved directly past them and into the best place in the Underworld; the Garden of Persephone. It isn’t exactly what one would expect from a garden but there was peace here. The low-light plant growth in elegant curls placed at the edges of the garden while the fruits of the underworld…gem growing trees lit the way for the House of Hades.

Walking on the smooth stone pathway right up to the door, I didn’t bother to knock. It was locked but that wasn’t an issue.

*crack* *creak…* He should be thankful I only broke the lock.

Alarms sounded through the house as I calmly walked through the hallways past the panicking skeleton guards as well as ghosts. I bumped into them and yet they never even glanced me a second look as they rushed over to apprehend and catch the intruder. Seriously, low quality undead…level 10 at most I would say. I thought the guards of an immortal (and big 3) would have some elite undead guards like the Death Knights but I guess not.

Feeling my way for the Throne of Power which let out the aura of death, I made my way to the throne room. Looking back on the way I took, I really didn’t even need to sense anything. Just as all roads lead to Rome, it seems all the hallways in some way or another would end up leading to the centermost room- the Throne Room.

Me: Quite arrogant of you, wouldn’t you say Hades? Even our Throne Room is at the bottommost floor and unreachable to any other than those I allow. And here is yours…accessible to any who make it inside your home.

Hades looked…well…emo. He was muscular, tall, quite pale but buff. His hair was pulled back looking slick but his short beard was well trimmed but his entire aura showed his distaste for anything in general. His posture, his right elbow on the arms of the throne and covering his eyes with the hand, showed his boredom as well as his bitterness.

Hades: Arrogance? Perhaps. But I don’t let my arrogance fool my strength for I know my limits. Besides, most intruders never make it past Charon, Cerberus, the enchanted doors, the guards, and make it here safely with no fear of who I am. Most intruders aren’t alive like yourself either.

Me: I am not Most Intruders

Hades: Nor am I arrogant like my brothers and sisters.

All this time, he didn’t even bother to look up and see who he was talking to. He couldn’t not be interested right?

Me: I came here to talk. Not to hear your bitterness of life so you should change your behavior, put on a smile, and welcome your guest. Also, where’s Persephone?

Hades: Why. Why should I entertain an intruder to my domain?

Me: Mostly because what I am here to offer is beneficial to you. Less important is that I could crush your realm and have someone more favorable and obedient replace you.

… He took his hand off his eyes and looked at me. His black eyes baring into my own. More of confusion and curiosity than anger or fear.

Hades: Did you just threaten m-

Me: Yes

…

Hades: Oh. I thought I heard wrong. You’re right of course. It’s been a while since I’ve last had guests in my house that I didn’t believe it.

With a wave of his hand, I felt the space around me attempting to shift. I let it go through as the room changed to something more ‘guest friendly’. It looked like a few pieces in the new room was taken straight from Persephone’s garden with the (better) statues and a few crystal trees. In the center of it all was a garden table complete with boiling pot of tea and a few biscuits.

Hades: I believe the food of the underground won’t hold you?

Me: I’ve yet to find a chain or poison that works on me.

Hades: I wouldn’t call this a chain or poison. You’ve hurt our chef’s heart.

Me: I thought it should be rotten or gone by now? The heart I mean

Hades: It certainly is but that makes no difference on the exquisite taste nor that his feelings will be hurt should he hear this.

Me: I see. I will give no apologies but I hope he understands that insulting him was not my intent.

Hades ignored my words before sitting down on one of the two skinny garden chairs (though elegant) available before leaning back; the front legs of the chair no longer touching the marble floor.

Hades: Persephone is busy tonight unfortunately but as the master of the house, I can pass on any message you have to her when she returns.

Me: It’s not a message, I simply wanted to meet her. The fact that a niece of all people could get your interest.

Hades: My family never lets go of that and it seems one more has joined.

Me: It’s really not that bad. Gaea fucked her own son. Hmmm…I guess that makes Pontus the first Motherfucker?

He grimaced as his face crinkled in disgust.

Hades: Please refrain from reminding me. I’d rather not be reminded of our family history. After all…that was before there were other…options. Now, if you will be as so kind to get to business and your name as well.

Me: Your kind would say that names hold power but once you get to who I am…the power name holds is so pitiful compared to our presence. You may call me Diana

Hades: Just Diana?

Me: I don’t see a problem with Diana. After all, Diana’s a name of your family as well, isn’t it Pluto?

*grimace* *flicker*

Hades: Please, the schizophrenic episodes are already a pain enough. I’d rather not have a headache again. Now, business please?

Me: Sure. I have your helm.

…

Hades: Excuse me?

Me: I have your Helm of Darkness, your symbol of Power, the weapon of the Big Three, Whisper of fears, Herald of Darkness, or whatever it has been called throughout the eons.

…

Hades: Would I be correct to assume that you are not the thief?

Me: You would be correct. I stole the helm from the thief who stole both your helm and Zeus’ Master Bolt

Hades: So you are in possession of both

Me: No. I left the Bolt untouched for fate’s sake.

Hades: Was that sarcasm or do you truly mean that fate is at work.

Me: Fate is at work and it will lead a child of the big three into your realm. I have plans for him so that is why I have left the bolt.

Hades: May I have the helm back?

Me: My answer would be an indirect yes. You will get the helm back in perfect shape…but not from me and certainly not now.

He frowned is distaste but he realized that this was better than most answers he could have received.

Hades: I see. Then you will involve me in some master plan of yours? Entertain me then.

Me: Not a master plan nor even a well thought out one. It simply involves a chance in which I have the pleasure of ripping apart one of your kind. Now listen carefully…

I met the trio walking out of the Lotus Casino, just a day until the given date, and looking quite panicked at how much time they had wasted. I knew they were looking for a taxi but personally I wanted to have a walk with them before they went to Hades.

Perhaps it was just coincidence but I really did seem to like outdoor cafes. After all, that was where I met Hermes, multiple Supernatural begins (who are now dead), and a few others. Well…it wasn’t my fault for liking the sun and coffee.

Me: Demigods. So nice to see you are on time. Why don’t you take a seat?

There was only one extra chair so I conjured two more making room for the daughter of Athena and the Satyr.

As expected, they looked quite wary of me. It was to be expected since they’ve literally just walked out of a trap and someone they’ve never met beckoning them to take a seat? It should smell trap easily; but hey!

Annabeth: Who are you?

Me: You don’t know me but the closest thing you have with be god with a Capital ‘G’.

Annabeth: I don’t believe it.

She took out her dagger and pointed it towards me. Well…not very threatening but I still took offense to it. Usually nobody pointed a weapon at me and survived. Only my cute little sister would be kind enough to ignore the offense.

Me: Are you really that naive child of wisdom? How many myths and legends around the world? Faiths that have created immortal beings? What about the changed Romans Gods? The Egyptian Deities of Old? The Norse Asgardians or perhaps even the Heavenly Divine Beings of Ancient China? Are they all fake while the Greek Pantheon stands? Trust me child, this world is much larger than just the Olympians. There is far far more than you expect.

It just happened to be then when the waiter came around with my drink.

Waiter: Your drink Miss. Cold Chocolate with Strawberry toppings with extra whipped cream with a side of Double Expresso.

… The trio just stared.

Grover: God drinking that?

Me: I bet Pan had fast food at least once young Satyr. You have a great destiny ahead of you so please refrain from insulting you and cutting your life short.

When the satyr gulped, I turned to Percy. Well, he was definitely what was not portrayed in that horrendous movie. For one, he was actually twelve and looked the part. His skin was tan and his hair a mess. He had that mischievous middle-schooler look but much more defined; definitely a trouble-maker.

Me: Percy Jackson, son of Poseidon. Please, have a seat and bring your friends too.

I gestured to the seats in front of me and finally they seemed to accept my kind and gracious invitation.

Me: Any drink preferences?

Annabeth: We’re fine. Besides miss, we’re quite busy right now. We have a quest that we need to compl—

Me: I assure you Miss Chase, time will not be an issue. I am aware of your quest and I simply wanted to talk. But first I believe an apology is in order.

I turned to face Percy

Me: With my interference, the strings of fate will not longer hold you. It means that the series of events in which the prophecy has dictated will not go as it should shall I wish it.

Percy: Does that mean I won’t die?

Me: You might. It can go both ways with my interference.

Percy: How was it supposed to go?

Me: Hmm…I am tempted to tell you but knowing the future brings about consequences I would rather not be bothered fixing. Though I will tell you this; Hades does not have the Master Bolt nor did he steal it.

Annabeth: Excuse me?!

Me: I stated that Hades, the Lord of the Dead and the Underworld, is not in possession of the Master Bolt of Zeus nor does he know who is the thief.

Annabeth: How can we trust you?

Me: You can make me swear the oath on Styx if you would like but it would not have an effect on me. Besides, both fate and your logic dictates you will go either way to the Underworld anyway so is there a reason?

Grover: Ummm…miss? Then who has the master bolt?

Me: This is your quest, is it not? Though I think you are confused between who has the bolt and who stole the bolt. The answer to each is different.

Annabeth: Percy. I really can’t explain this but I trust her. We shouldn’t go to the Underworld.

Me: And here I thought you being the daughter of Athena would argue for the other side.

Grover: Umm…Percy? Maybe we should look somewhere else. Like maybe the forests maybe? The thief might have dropped it or something.

Me: Fools both of you.

All three of them looked at me.

Me: Tell me Percy. What is the more important to you? The Master Bolt in which you have nothing to do with…or your mother?

Percy didn’t even hesitate to answer

Percy: Mom

Me: Correct. And where is she held?

Percy: …she’s in the Underworld. By Hades.

Me: Yes. Mostly because he believes you are the thief and does not want another war. You’ll understand why when you see the Underworld for yourself of why Hades is against war or anyone dying in general.

I passed Annabeth a warning look.

Me: Titles and reputation are often based on the truth but the Lord of the Dead does not show his desire for more of it. In this case…the evidence was misleading. And also…

I waved my hand as I summoned a nice black Audi in front of the cafe. Sleek looking thing too. I also summoned a wad of hundreds and put it on the table. I could tell Annabeth looking kind of hungry for it. Who knew she was money hungry? I sure didn’t

Me: I’ll give that ride to you in exchange for your Lotus Hotel Cards. It’s either this or a crappy Taxi ride all the way to Los Angeles.

It didn’t take long for them to decide as soon there were three Green Cards that I was familiar in front of me as the questers climbed into the car.

Me: My last advice for now would be to not try and trick Charon…oh! And also remember that mattresses are supposed to me 2 meter long standard and not 182.5cm ok?

Percy: Excuse me?

Me: Oh yeah. Sorry, I don’t speak Imperial as fluent as Metric. Beds aren’t supposed to be exactly 6ft long, alright?

Percy: Umm…ok? How is that supposed to help?

Me: You’ll see

Seeing that I won’t be answering any more questions, they obediently got into to car with Grover in the driver’s seat before speeding off. Well…I’ll be seeing them again real soon.

I was waiting by the beach on a nice beach chair getting tan (although it doesn’t work on me) when a very loud-looking biker decided to stop by and wait. Hmmm…who am I kidding, it was Ares.

Unfortunately for both him and myself, he made his way over to me before attempting to talk…straight up seduce. I’d much rather prefer flirting but even then I was pretty sure I’d end up killing him before he got more than a minute’s worth of it out.

Ares: So as I’m saying baby, how about it? Just you and me—

Me: You fucking moron. My ears hurt from your baby voice.

Ares: Hey look baby girl. You can’t me more than 20—

Me: Fucking infant. Barely a couple thousand years old and he thinks he’s ready for me.

That got him to shut up. He lowered his shades revealing his red flame points in his dark sockets as he tried to intimidate me into giving.

Ares: Who are you

Me: Would love to tell you another time but it looks like the trio is coming soon. I’ll need to shut you up for a while. No apologies *snap*

Ares froze…quite literally. Not by ice but rather I made it so that he couldn’t move. He would be able to use his senses perfectly fine but he was immobile and even incapable of speaking as of the moment. I took precautions as to trap his abilities as well. No teleporting or his true form would be able to free him of this. Low class immortal as he is really.

He looked quite shocked as his eye (the only part I allowed to move) stared at me in disbelief. Well, not that I care.

Just in time too as the trio came out from the water with the ‘Rescue Team’ with them dropping them off on the beach. As I waved at them, they recognized meant began walking towards me. Once they were close enough, I sipped my Strawberry Sundae before asking.

Me: Did my advice help?

POV Annabeth Chase

After an experience I would rather not experience again, the Underworld and a talk with Hades, we came up to see the woman again. Well, a teenager by the looks of it but you can never tell with gods…or was it God?

She certainly did not look the part. Well, to be honest most of the gods don’t follow their image either so why not God then. She was laying back on a beach chair and sipping a very not-god-like drink (not nectar or black coffee) and seemed to enjoy it. Weren’t gods supposed to be classy? Thinking back on Apollo the Slayer of the Mighty Python…maybe not. Wait…that biker looked kind of familiar

God: Did my advice help?

What advi—oh yeah. The knowledge on the length of mattresses.

Percy: Not until it was too late.

God: You really should be more careful around your surroundings. A son of the Big Three, a daughter of war and a delicious tasting Satyr? You would attract all monsters in a 20 mile radius…at least. At least take the advice and be wary around it.

Grover bleated as he remembered his almost-decapitation event at the mattress store.

God: Besides, I’m sure you’ve come here to ask me something. Shoot

Me: Umm…miss? Is that Ares?

My word got the attention of Seaweed brain and Grover as they looked in shock (for the first time) as the unmoving buff anger-management issue god. Locked in place by who knows what.

God: Oh, I forgot about him. Yeah it is. He was being annoying so I locked his physical form in time.

Grover: Will you let him go?

God: After I beat him up or feed him one of two things.

Me: What two things?

God: Curry flavored Shit or Shit flavored Curry. The cockroaches told me they taste about the same.

Ares eyes (despite being just balls of fire) looked pleading as his red point began to shake in fear of what God had in store for him. Seriously…that was disgusting.

Percy: There’s a shit flavored curry?

God: Prison food for the worst of the worst. We found out later than they would eat their own shit instead, quite literally. Just wanted to see the affects horrendous food would have on a Greek God. Maybe pollute to Golden Ichor flowing through their veins?

Me: You sure you’re not the Devil instead?

God: I’m not that good at forgiving so perhaps you’re right.

She turned to Percy before asking

God: Tell me then, how was the Underworld?

Horrible. I’d wish to never go there ever again.

Percy: You have the helm, don’t you? I need it to save my mother. Hades promised that if we bring back his Helm, then he’ll free my mother. He told me that you should have it…even though you aren’t the thief.

God: Hmmm…alright, but what about the bolt? That is the purpose of this quest is it not? How will you complete the quest now.

Percy: I don’t care.

God: Sounds like you’ve got your priorities straight.

Then she did something that I didn’t think anyone in their right mind would do. She just reached into her pocket and pulled out a full sized Helm. How that thing fit in there? I have no idea.

God: I’ll give this to Hades or his furies to take it to him…in exchange for the backpack and whatever is still in it.

What backpack?

*shimmer*

God: Oh? It seems like Hades didn’t bother to point it out? So what do you say Jackson?

For some reason, Ares began to whimper in the background. Her surely wasn’t in any pain but he looked as if he was in big trouble. Wait…Hades didn’t want any more dead or war. Wasn’t there another god that could potentially benefit from this? Who was the backpack from?

Me: Percy! Stop!

But it was too late. Percy, in his disgust at Ares, had already given the bag and what was in it to God.

God: My thanks Jackson. Now, I’ll give you the opportunity to talk to this shitbag here before you continue your quest. Perhaps he might have an answer to where the bolt is.

Know where the bolt is??!!! Girl, you just took it! Percy literally just gave her the bolt!

Me: Please! Miss! We Need that backpack!

God: I don’t care. Talk to Ares first.

With that, she disappeared into thin air as Ares’ mouth was freed.

Ares: THAT FUCKING BITCH!! WHO THE FUCK IS SHE

Grover: …language…

Percy: Shut up scumbag. Why did she want us to talk to you? What do you know?

Ares: Humph. You punks were supposed to die in there and join Corpse Breath but it seems like he didn’t fall for it.

Percy: Fall for what?

Listening to this dumb conversation, I just couldn’t anymore.

Me: Percy, think about it for a second. When the Olympians fight…whose domain expands? Who grows stronger through war?

Percy: Obviously this jerk

Me: Exactly! And what do you think the backpack held then? What could possibly have been valuable enough for that woman to just simply agree to return the helm, a Big Three’s Symbol of Power?

I could see the gears turning in his mind as he connected the dots. As realization dawned on him, he turned to Ares with rage.

Percy: You put that bolt in the backpack! And made us carry it into the Underworld in hopes of Hades killing us!!

Ares: Finally found out punk? Congratulations. Looks like you got your nonexistent brains from Fish Breath.

Grover: You…you…

Grover couldn’t even complete his sentences as he realized that they had the Master Bolt the entire time and never realized it. Now that she had the bolt…how were they going to find it? They didn’t even have the time left!

Ares: When I get out of this thing, I’m going to kill her…slowly. Then I’m going to ravage her until she begs for mercy. Once I’m done with her…she’ll wish she was never born!

That was when God just reappeared like nothing has happened. Maybe something did since she had a new drink in her right hand and the Bolt in her left.

God: I heard that.

If Ares wasn’t the reason for the whole damn quest, I would have felt sorry for the look he was making. The red points (fire) in his eyes actually went out for a split second before he was sputtering excuses and other shambles.

Of course, God (or whoever she really was) didn’t even bother to listen.

God: Kiddos, I would close your eyes if I were you. This is not going to be a pretty sight.

She might have warned us but she didn’t give us as nearly enough time as what we saw was enough to give us permanent mental scars for life. I would describe what I saw but the sheer audacity and disbelief that something like this was actually happening ruined my ability to think.

Here’s the short version.

…

She r*ped Ares’ *ss with the Master Bolt before firing it off.

…

I can’t remember how long we just stood there while Ares laid unconscious in the sand and thankfully with his pants back on. The rapis—I mean God turned back towards us carefully holding the non-tainted part of the bolt.

God: I don’t think I can bare to hold this disgusting thing anymore. I’ll let you kiddos finish your quest.

And just like that, she threw the bolt down at our feet before disappearing once again…and once again we stared in shock while our minds processed what just happened.

I think Percy’s words summarized what happened like well.

Percy: Fuck

I agree Percy. On so many levels than I wish to.