I sit cross-legged in the snow. Meditating, trying to understand what happened. Yesterday I almost ended up killing those adventurers. Using my new skill, [Soul Manipulation] I take a look at the state of my soul after I lost control. I knew using his power would give him more control, but I underestimated how much. Two weeks ago I managed to salvage [Burst of Speed] from the other part of my soul thanks to the skill. I was so happy, thinking I could go back to normal, thinking I was in control now. So naïve.

I look at both shards of my soul, noticing how many connections have been made, probably to draw the power, but in turn used to influence me. Clearing up most of the connection, it feels like I'm stabbing myself in the heart with a thousand needles. Huffing after only severing a few, I take a break to eat and relax. I need to stay calm, calculated. I think back how I tried to pass for a bounty hunter.

Shameful at the memory and poorly thought out plan, I try to think about something else. The shivering pass should be one day away at most, at least by road. Dammit, it would have been so much better to be in a group when I reached that place. I know several groups are going to be waiting there. It's what I would do. But if I had managed to not be alone, I could have sneaked through much more easily. The best hiding place is always in plain sight.

If only I was better at disguises. Well, no matter now. I have to come up with a new plan. I have time. Maybe I could go around. There have to be some less known passages through the mountain. It could take months or more. I'm not sure I could survive this long. If I use the pass, I can get to the Grey Tower in a little more than a week.

I look at my supplies, I got rations for about a week. Well, I did buy rations with the plan to rush through the shivering pass. Didn't think I'd be this popular of a man, but it makes sense now that I saw the bounty. One thousand gold. Only a few people can afford to put up that kind of bounty. I sigh before deciding to continue self-mutilation on my soul.

I notice how some connections cannot be completely destroyed now. I panic a bit as I think about that. Is it because I used his power? Or simply the soul mending with time? So many questions. As I ponder about it, I come to the same conclusion that made me start this trip. I need the help of a magician that has studied the soul and its workings. I guess there are some in the Empire, but that has always been out of the question, with the priests of Kathar that close, I wouldn't feel safe to blink.

Plus, if Bianca is somehow still at the Grey Tower I would at least have one person I can trust who knows her way around magic. The Grey Tower is supposed to be neutral and away from the world and such, I just hope my exceptional bounty won't change that. From rumors I gathered they don't care much for material needs, engrossed in their study of magic. But that's their outward image, without having been there before it's hard not to stress about it. I mean if a small army of mages goes after me, power or not I don't think I stand a chance.

Too late to worry about that now I guess. I start to walk through the forest again, light snow falling from the sky, slowly draping a new blanket over the landscape. I notice how animals seem to avoid me completely now, monsters too for the most part. I think about how to get through the pass. Nothing, I got nothing right now. But I can feel a sense of urgency now that I know that the longer I delay all this, the more power it will have over me. Slowly but surely it clawing its way back.

Night comes, and I still can't think of a smart way without killing my way through and using more of that demon's power. If I sleep on it maybe I'll come up with something.

I wake up early, and I have something of an idea, it's far from good but the best I got right now. If I could find some snow wolves I could make a white coat and try to sneak by in the snow. It's a long shot but it would avoid needless bloodshed. I spend the day trying to look for tracks, but it not my specialty and I only have a rudimentary knowledge of how this works. I finally find what I believe is wolf tracks after a few hours. I start to go after them, but I notice how it continues on, further away from the shivering pass. Deciding it's not worth losing too much time over it, I decide to just wing it. I don't know how much time I actually have now, and it's stressing me. But I know I need to stay calm. It's definitely getting harder.

Sleep is hard found that night. Having lost a day to a stupid idea, it means it has already been two days since the fight with the adventurers. I continue walking for the whole day, no animals in sight still, probably the reason I can't hunt wolves. The sound of my footsteps in the snow is my only company and it's starting to get at me. Maybe the reason I tried to join the adventurers was less of a plan and more of a need.

Another day goes by, and I find myself looking at the huge mountains, splitting straight ahead to what is known as the shivering pass. The only way to go further north by land. At least the only one I know of. I spot the road a good mile west of me. Good, it's far enough I should not get spotted right away. I still have no plan, but I should be able to make something out of this whole situation. Probably.

I never would have been this confident before I could use its power. That's a scary thought. I know it's affecting me, but it still feels like I'm myself and so I have pushed back those thoughts for a while. The same feeling of urgency surfaces again. How long before I change completely? Dammit now is not the time, I have to push forward.

Using rocks and other cover, I advance slowly, peaking and checking if it's clear before moving forward. I take a roundabout way, trying to find a good vantage point of the pass. As I climb a hill, I spot someone who seems to be a lookout. I quickly hide before he can turn to see me. Shit, I should have known, it's a good spot, of course someone took it.

I slowly look behind the rock I'm hiding behind, and see that the sentry is looking towards the pass, away from me. I slowly go around the small hill, creeping closer to the top. I hear some people talking, arguing really, but it's too far for me to hear what they are saying.

Slowly, I go closer.

"You don't understand!" I hear a voice say.

"He is much stronger than lower gold. We have to make every team here team up." Shit, they continued. Maybe I should have killed them. No, but at least crippled them somehow. But with a mage that can heal it's hard to do unless you are a mage yourself.

"Your team is just weak." I hear the response with a round of laughter following it.

"We are just here to warn you guys, so it doesn't turn into a slaughter. We are leaving tomorrow. Do what you must with this info."

"Running with your tails between your legs? Where are your balls!" The other man taunts them.

"Let's go." I hear another voice urge them away.

The group mocks the other once they are gone and I tune them out as a plan forms in my head. Yeah, this could work. It's risky, but the best I got. I slowly creep away and wait for night to fall, going over the landscape and the best way to go about this. The route is key in this plan.

There are two obvious spots for a team to oversee the entrance of the pass, on the mountainsides of the pass. I can assume there is a team on each side, with the overview it gives. There is one team on that hill that is slightly farther back but has a better view of the road. With my black cloak, if I walk in the middle of a flat area, everyone should see me instantly. The road then probably. I make my way back to the forest and I edge closer to the road, unseen.

Night slowly falls as I wait, rubbing my arms under my cloak to keep from getting too cold. I patiently wait for the sun to go down, going over the different scenarios that could happen.

Finally ready to move out, I walk out onto the road, going towards the pass, feigning fatigue. I walk forward and nothing happens for some time. I continue forward, slowly. Finally, someone spots me and I hear clamor in the distance. It's the guys from the hills I heard earlier. Like a chain reaction, I see more reactions from groups waiting for me to show up, all running down towards me.

A group I hadn't spotted is closer than most and comes out of the forest to my left. I start to run towards the pass, stumbling on purpose, getting up and continuing. I hope this works. My heart is beating out of my chest. I see that they will be on me well before the other groups. That's no good. I accelerate my pace forward, making sure all the groups are going to be on me at about the same time.

Soon, I'm surrounded by all the four groups.

"We spotted him first, back the fuck off you damn vultures." I hear the familiar voice of the man mocking the adventurers earlier.

"Are you kidding me? We saw him first you stupid ape." Soon, three of the groups are arguing loudly, the forth staying silent. So far so good. The key is making them think I'm an easy target.

"Why don't we just split it four ways? It's still a sizable sum." The fourth group speaks up and calms the others down. Fuck. That's not good. The groups start to discuss this internally while keeping an eye on me.

"I give up, I'll go with you if you don't hurt me." I say to the calm group.

"Wait the fuck up. If you are giving up, you should come with us, we spotted you first." The brute speaks up.

"Promise we won't hurt you, too much." He can't help but adding, eliciting snickers from his group.

Another group starts to shout angrily at the others, tensions rising once more between them. The fourth group leader walks forward slightly and raises his voice to be heard above the others.

"Can't you see what he is trying to do? To pit us against each other." Damn adventurers and their big fucking mouths, their warning making everything so much harder than it had to be. Before anyone can think about it too much, I charge the man ruining my idiotic plan.

Engaging with [Double Strike] I don't manage to land a hit, as he parries one strike and blocks the other with his shield. His group quickly surrounds me as I push back their leader. I carefully dodge to let them land small hits. Small cuts soon cover several parts of my body, I tiredly stand with a knee on the ground and glare at them all.

The brutes group is the first one to make a move and they charge forward, my heart beats loudly before I see with dismay that they are not attacking them but the other group is letting them surround me too, so they can capture me for themselves. God dammit. Will I never have a plan work as I wanted it too?

"So, what about splitting the reward?" Most groups having calmed down now, they start to discuss how to split depending on participation, and slowly people are nodding and agreeing. I look down at my own hands, surrounded by bounty hunters or adventurers or whatever they are, knowing I will have to use it again, unsure of how much I can control it. A small voice in me is telling me to let loose, to kill them all. Somehow it does sound nice, getting rid of all these people, but that's not who I want to be. I already crossed a line in the village two months ago, but at least I can tell myself it wasn't by choice. If I cross it now willingly, what will I become? I'm not sure, and I don't want to find out. I still will have to use some power. How have I come to rely on it so much lately?

Deciding I can dwell on it later, I see one of the mages come up to bind me with magic. Suddenly I use [Force Blast] once more, blowing away all the opponents around me. I don't know when I learned what I could do with his power, but it comes naturally once I draw from it. Not losing a second, I make a mad run for it. Concentrating to close my small wounds, I accelerate to my utmost speed. It's not that impressive in this ankle-deep snow, but they are also slowed down by it.

Looking behind me I see the different groups getting up and chasing after me. A barrage of spells block my way and I'm forced to slow down. If it's on top of me I can actually dispell them, but I have to slice at the spell before it lands. Deciding to give back some of that I use [Demon Slash] horizontally, the red crescent wave large enough to cover the whole group chasing me.

Far away enough they all have time dodging it, one of the warriors try to parry it with a skill only to be cut in half. After only two uses I can already feel his influence creeping up on me. I see another volley of spells meant to cut me off and use [Burst of Speed] to rush past the impact point, putting more distance between us.

A lightning spell I didn't see hits me, and I struggle to keep upright. Shit that hurt. My muscles act up a bit and I see them gaining on me. This isn't going to work, I have to scare them really bad. I draw from his power, more than I ever dared, accumulating the energy, I feel good, so good, like nothing could ever touch me. Somehow knowing how to use the energy I gather it at the tip of my finger and point at the brute leader. A dark red ray instantly crosses the distance, hitting him in the chest. Shortly after he explodes, parts of his body scattered around his previous location, blood splatters painting a beautiful picture on this snow white landscape. One of the warriors freaks out as guts cling to his neck, and he desperately tries to get it off him. The others all stop in their tracks.

I can't help but smile at their expression of fear. The wave of power I felt leaves me slowly, and I can't help but feel horrible for the thoughts I just had. He didn't take control at all, and still, I felt that way. It doesn't matter, it was just thoughts, and it was necessary. Before I can start to run away, I see three people rush forward, led by a woman warrior shouting at me.

"You fucking devil! I'm going to cut you to shreds you piece of shit!" Madness I can't say I'm unfamiliar with etched on her face, she charges. Her two companions following her. The other groups don't follow, but look on with hope, hope I cannot do that again. I know I can do it again, but I'm not sure what will happen if I draw that much power again. Thinking about it for a second, I know that if I can pull it off, they will all back off.

I start to draw from its power yet again, feeling my perceptions of things change, being aware of the change. As I use the skill again, I feel control slipping away from me, a sick grin across my face. The woman explodes, and I slowly march towards them, smiling. I know it's not me, but I struggle against the emotions of overwhelming power and control this makes me feel.

Moving faster than I ever could even with [Burst of Speed], I stand in front of the adventurers. I try to close my eyes, but can't, my vision filled with meaningless slaughter. I hear myself laughing wildly as the snow turns deep red. Bodyparts being cut off, flying through the air as screams of despair fill the air. I desperately try to wrestle back control, but I've never been this deep under his influence before. I can feel that I'm slowly getting it back, ever so slowly, while every second, another person dies, more guts being spilled, more faces, forever frozen in an expression of fear.

I lose the sense of time as I wrestle to get back in control. Before I'm done, I feel that I'm in control once more, only it wasn't I who got it back, he simply let me have it. I look around at all the bodies around me and know why he did that. He was simply done. I kneel down in the snow, tears streaming down my face. I'm so powerless, so god damn weak. I couldn't even save one.

I sit there for some time, not sure how long. The sun goes up on the horizon, illuminating everything more clearly. I have been on battlefields before, but this is something else. I sense my stomach acting up and look away before I vomit. Slowly, lifelessly, I start to walk towards my goal. I try to look forward to the potential discoveries and help I can get at the Grey Tower, but I'm not so sure anymore. If I go rampant there, they can stop me at least, and put an end to this.