《Iakesi: They Call Me Homeless, but I Cast Fireball!》Stick it Through The Man
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Fergus woke up feeling better than he had in weeks. He was refreshed, healthy, invigorated. It was nice, and Fergus took a moment to relish the feeling, stretching his arms as a yawn came over him. The sun was peeking up from the horizon, bright rays cutting through tall buildings, shining the first golden rays of morning over Fergus.
It was a good day.
The fighter threw off the blankets and tossed his armor and boots back on. There was still questing to do, and Fergus was ready to do it. He swung his heavy crowbar over his back, sorted the rock collection in his pocket, tossing stone he deemed too light to the floor, and strode out of the guest bedroom.
Anthony Welkin, Sword Princess’ father, was an early riser. In college, he had class at four in the morning, and once that routine had been established it had been hard to break it. His job involved office work, pencil pushing and management, but Anthony had made a point to try to stay in shape. His daughter had loved watching Faery Fire, some sort of internet celebrity, Anthony didn’t know. When he saw that part of her program was exercise with her audience Anthony had made that part a family occasion. Fitness was important, even if Mrs. Welkin didn’t approve of how Faery Fire dressed.
He knew that physical fitness was important, the world was a dangerous place after all. Even if his daughter could get beaten through walls mostly unharmed, Anthony still worried for her. When he watched the Inquisitors fight on the news, instead of joyous elation at what all his daughter was capable of, he trembled in fear of what might very well be her last moments. When Sword Princess called her dad to let him know she was hosting a girls night, and promised to clean up, Anthony decided to make the long drive back home just in case something happened. He could make the long drive back to his wife in the morning.
Because of this, Anthony saw Fergus, a complete stranger, step out of the guest bedroom as he ate breakfast. Anthony owned a gun, but it was kept in a safe in his bedroom, something Anthony vowed to remedy if he lived through this. Fergus was big, broad shoulders and powerful muscles, and armed.
The first step was to make sure that Sword Princess and her friends were unharmed; the three girls had fallen asleep in Sword Princess’ room, which was thankfully on the first floor. Anthony kept the Fergus in his line of sight as he crept for his daughter’s room.
Anthony made it about one step before Fergus’ head snapped towards him.
Fergus strode towards Anthony, who snapped up a kitchen knife.
“Who are you?” Anthony demanded, putting the knife between himself and Fergus.
“Fergus,” Fergus said, “I’m a fighter.”
“You- I remember seeing you on T.V.!” Anthony said, “You’re that guy who killed people with your psycho friends!”
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“You’re welcome for that,” Fergus said, “Those people were evil.”
“What are you doing in my house?” Anthony demanded.
“Taking a rest,” Fergus explained, “I’d been up for a really long time.”
“I swear,” Anthony said, “If you laid so much as a finger on my daughter, I will skin you alive.”
“I don’t think you could,” Fergus said, “But I’d be impressed if you did. Is that enchanted?”
“No,” Anthony admitted.
“What’s it used to cut?” Fergus asked.
“Vegetables,” Anthony said.
Fergus took a long look at the kitchen knife. It was a thick, heavy blade, While it lacked a knuckle guard, Fergus thought it would be serviceable.
Fergus did not need serviceable weapons, nor want them. Fergus was a man who had lifted himself to greatness, one battlefield, one duel, one brawl at a time, and wanted weapons fitting of his station.
He wanted Wed Block, he wanted his armor, he wanted his gear.
“I need to talk to Sword Princess,” Fergus declared, “About superhero work.”
“If you-” Anthony started.
“If I did,” Fergus said, bearing down on the man, “You could not stop me, and neither could your daughter. But, I’m not. Don’t worry, I’ll keep her alive.”
“Will you keep her safe?” Anthony asked.
“She is a warrior,” Fergus answered, “She will not be safe, but she will live.”
Fergus knocked on Sword Princess’ room, waiting two full seconds before just stepping inside.
Sword Princess and Sword Witch were still sleeping, with Bright Star coming to a groggy awakening. She looked up, eyes still blurry, and saw the imposing figure of Fergus towering over her. Bright Star blinked once, twice, before letting out a sharp, high pitched scream. One of the loudest, sharpest screams that Fergus had ever heard, it was impressive, and his honed instincts pressed a hand over Bright Star’s mouth and shoved her to the ground. Banshees were always trouble, and just because Fergus hadn’t seen any here, didn’t mean there weren’t any.
“Bright Star, listen to me,” Fergus warned, “You invoke powers not meant for mortals.”
“With a scream?” Anthony asked.
“Yes,” Fergus said, “With a scream. So keep your voice down.”
Fergus slowly peeled his hand off of Bright Star’s mouth, and at just over a whisper Bright Star asked “Couldn’t you have waited for one of us to answer?”
“I have spent too much time here merely waiting,” Fergus said, “Now is the time for action.”
“We’re going to attack Exigent Circumstances.”
Fergus had to bring up his plan, again, when he met back up with the rest of the Courage Crew, and explain the plan, again.
“Combatant,” Battle Lad demanded, “Why would we attack Exigent Circumstances.”
“Because I want my stuff back,” Fergus explained, “I used to have access to a lot of powerful, magical artifacts. And, I suspect that most of Exigent Circumstances are made up of the same shapeshifters I’ve fought and killed before.”
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“Exigent Circumstances run this town,” Battle Lad said, “Do you have any idea how much work I’ve done just to stay off their radar? How much we’ve all lost already, how much we’ve sacrificed?”
“No,” Fergus admitted, “But I know that they have a lot of things that I want, it’s mine, and that none of the supervillains will stay gone until either Exigent Circumstances is taken down, or you start letting me kill the people who are trying to kill us.”
“I already told you-” Battle Lad said.
“I know,” Fergus said, “And I respect your decision. However, mere ideals are going to fix this. We need to fight.”
“And just how, exactly,” Power Jack said, “Do you intend to bring down Exigent Circumstances?”
“With these,” Fergus said, opening his jacket and revealing his set of communicators, “A lot of people wanted my help, and I wanted to help a lot of people. We come together, organize, strategize. If Bright Star doesn’t want to fight to the death-”
“I would like to avoid it,” Bright Star chimed in.
“-Then she can be assigned to strategic and tactical communications,” Fergus said, “I’ll admit, we have a lot of work to do to win this. Intelligence is going to be a big one, I figured Power Jack and I could ambush X.C. vans and Jack pulls whatever information he can before we retreat.”
“No good,” Power Jack said, “Their armored cars fry systems incase of attack. By the time I can get to their computers, there’ll be nothing but slag.”
“Perhaps I can be of service,” a voice called.
“Who are you,” Battle Lad demanded, “And how did you get in here?”
“I am, um,” the young man said, Fergus noticing he was about as tall as Battle Lad.
Fergus also realized that he didn’t hear the shorter man approach.
“Cloak and Dagger! A superhero!” Cloak and Dagger declared.
“That’s a long name,” Fergus said.
“Well, then, call me Cloak,” Cloak said, “I happened to overhear your need for a breaking and entering expert as I was walking down the road-”
“We’re underground,” Power Jack said, “And the walls are soundproof.”
“Oh. Then- then I guessed at your need-” Cloak said.
“How do you know you’re not a spy?” Sword Princess demanded.
“Or carrying experimental cloaking tech?” Battle Lad added.
“Or evil?” Bright Star insisted.
“But I can help!” Cloak pleaded.
“You can help by staying out of our way,” Power Jack said.
“Or-” Battle Lad said.
“I can vouch for him,” Fergus declared, looking down at Cloak.
“No offense, dude,” Power Jack said, “But I don’t think your word carries much weight.”
“And just why not?” Fergus demanded.
“You walked into a girl’s bedroom without being invited,” Sword Princess said.
“You act like you’re invincible,” Bright Star said.
“You went on a murder spree and fought the army,” Power Jack said.
“You destabilized the economy by spending so much gold,” Night Walker said.
“Interesting sword,” Cloak said, looking at Night Walker.
“Trust me,” Fergus said, “You don’t want it.”
“You said we should attack Exigent Circumstances,” Battle Lad said, “The biggest, most powerful law enforcement group I’ve ever seen.”
“Well then,” Fergus said, closing up his jacket, “If you’re not interested in my plan, I suppose I’ll have to ask one of the eight other teams I’m on. Or, we could create a new, powerful strategic defense network.”
“Augh, fine,” Battle Lad grumbled, “Look, we’ll do it, but only if we get to bring in the other teams.”
“Wow,” Cloak said, watching as Fergus passed Battle Lad his jacket.
The Courage Crew, minus Fergus and Cloak, stomped off to their communications hub. Given that their base was an underground basement of an abandoned warehouse, this wasn’t especially far away. It was still far enough to allow Fergus and Cloak some privacy.
Time passed in silence, Fergus sizing up Cloak while he could only guess that Cloak was doing the same.
“Roger?” Fergus guessed.
“Fergus,” Roger answered, pointing up to his friend.
The two adventurers held each other in a brief, tight hug. It was awkward, neither of the two adventurers had any experience with hugging, and until now neither had much experience with having personalities.
“I thought you had found other teams to lead,” Roger said.
“Nobody could ever replace you,” Fergus answered.
“So?” Roger asked, “Just because nobody can replace me doesn’t mean I don’t get replaced.”
“You were on other adventuring teams before?” Fergus asked.
“Plenty,” Roger said, “But yours was the only one that stuck with me.”
“Well, I’m happy to have you back,” Fergus said, “By the way, what did you do?”
“Hmm? Oh, I mostly just sat in a hotel room missing my friends,” Roger said.
“Huh,” Fergus said, “I mostly just wandered the streets, missing my friends and searching for more adventure. I think I almost died.”
“Died doing what?” Roger asked.
“I stayed up for nine days, fighting bad guys,” Fergus said.
“Gotta watch out for that,” Roger said, “Death tends to sneak up on people. I should know.”
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