《Iakesi: They Call Me Homeless, but I Cast Fireball!》Level Twenty Six: Conspiracies and Crazy People
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"Because he was a mouthy little brat," the bard explained.
"And why exactly did you tell him he was the reason his parents were getting divorced?" Elliot asked.
"He was," the bard said, "And I was upset at the time."
"Have you ever had contact with the child before?" Elliot asked.
"No," the bard said, "And I don’t want to meet him now. That little punk is a brat.”
“Are you aware that your insult put the child, and his parents, into family therapy?” Elliot asked.
“How is that a problem?” the bard demanded.
“You traumatized a child and his parents,” Elliot said, “To the point they all needed therapy.”
“They needed therapy anyway, it was a failing marriage,” the bard said, “This sounds like a problem I solved, not a problem I started.”
“How did you know it was a failing marriage?” Elliot demanded.
“How would you not?” the bard asked.
“Are you implying that you can determine the emotional health of someone just by a few seconds of conversation?” Elliot asked.
“Of course I can. I can even change it,” the bard said, “I’m a bard. I’m the best bard. That’s also how I got that little rugrat and his family into therapy.”
“What my client means-” Annabeth said.
“Is exactly what I said,” the bard said, glaring at Annabeth.
“Your honor, based on Ms. Blake's testimony, I motion that she be held in a muzzle for the remainder of the trial,” Elliot said.
“Pfft, if that’s what you’re worried about,” the wizard said, “You might as well try to muzzle the cleric and I.”
“Why would you say that!” Annabeth shrieked.
“Order in the court!” Judge Marcus demanded, pounding his gavel, “Ms. Annabeth, compose yourself!”
“My apologies, your honor,” Annabeth said.
“In light of the sheer scope of the crimes,” Judge Marcus said, “Court is adjourned until tomorrow morning. The trial will resume at nine A.M.”
Everyone huddled out of the courtroom, the Vanguard Squad moving to Battle Crow’s parked jet, Elliot Dawson to his luxury car, and Annabeth Finch dragged the adventurers to her own office.
“What is wrong with you people!” Annabeth demanded, “Are you trying to get a guilty verdict!”
“Honestly, I think it’s going to work out for us either way,” the rogue said, “We already explained this. Either we’re declared guilty and get to enact justice upon criminals, or we’re declared innocent and get to enact justice upon criminals.”
“I’m still wondering why you care,” the fighter said.
“I’m a defense attorney,” Annabeth ground out, “It is my job to care.”
“And what is your caring going to do?” the cleric asked.
“Hopefully, it will get you to think about your answers,” Annabeth growled.
“Lady, we hardly care about anything,” the barbarian said, “And think about this, if you don’t spend your time working the case you could spend your time doing something else.”
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“Are you telling me to throw the case?” Annabeth said.
“We’re telling you that we don’t care about the case, and you can’t change the outcome,” the fighter explained, “So you might as well stop caring about the case. If you weren’t yelling at us, maybe you could work on your sword arm.”
“So that’s it?” Annabeth asked, “I just give up?”
“You could keep going,” the cleric said, “Endlessly struggle against us in a futile attempt to get this “not guilty verdict” you keep talking about. Or you could stop.”
“And spend time on whatever I want,” Annabeth concluded.
Elliot Dawson spent a moment just driving, trying to get his thoughts in order. The cleric implicated Battle Crow in- in- in something. During the trial, they kept going on and on about hunting down shapeshifting monsters and finding them in the most unlikely of people. A whole nest of them in a seismic outpost, one in an instrument shop, four in the Bright Futures office, one downtown. The adventurers also rambled about killing a lot more than just shape shifting monsters. According to them they had, without knowing anyone, taken down The Executives, the Cult of Brass, the Under Landers, the list went on and on.
What really stuck in Elliot’s head was that, with She-Wolf and Lady NightRaven’s investigation, all those stories about wandering into major supervillains and organized crime rings actually lined up with the adventurers’ wild claims. But nobody knew anything about shape shifting monsters, definitely not ones that could pose as humans.
Elliot reached for the bluetooth on his car, suppressing a yelp of surprise as he got a call.
“Hello?” Elliot said.
“Really, I’m your wife for two years and all I get is a hello?” Tiffany asked.
“Sorry honey,” Elliot said, “It’s just, something about this case is bothering me.”
“It looked like an easy win,” Tiffany said. “Can you tell me about it?”
“Afraid not,” Elliot said, “Not till after the case.”
“Anyway, are the twins giving you trouble?” Elliot asked.
“Not today,” Tiffany said, rubbing her tummy, “Now, I heard you say something about dinner reservations.”
“Ah, I was just about to call about that,” Elliot said.
“Well, I’m wondering where we could go,” Tiffany said.
“Why don’t we order in?” Elliot suggested, “That way, I could get whatever your cravings desire.”
“Ooh, that would be nice,” Tiffany said, “And I wouldn’t have to get up if the twins were bothering me. A nice night in sounds wonderful.”
“Do you want me to pick up some skin cream?” Elliot asked.
“I would love that,” Tiffany said, “But I know you have to work tomorrow in the morning, and I’m worried I might love it a bit too much.”
“Heh, I wouldn’t worry,” Elliot said.
“Mmmh, glad you still have the energy,” Tiffany said.
“Always have, always will,” Elliot said, “Now, I have a few calls I need to make.”
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“Alright,” Tiffany said, “I’ll let you go. Love you.”
“Love you too, honey,” Elliot said, hanging up the call.
For a moment, Elliot wondered if he even should call Aurumite. Sure, the cleric had only pointed to Battle Crow, but what if more of Vanguard Squad were shapeshifters? He hoped his wife was a real person, but if she was a shapeshifter how would he know? Elliot had known Aurumite for years, and had to hope the twins met that his wife wasn’t a shapeshifter. In the back of his mind, Elliot knew that all he really had was hope.
Elliot decided to call Aurumite. What other option did he have?
“Aurumite, this is Dawson,” Elliot said, “I’d like you to meet me at my office to review some of the case information.”
“Copy that, Dawson,” Aurumite said.
Judge Marcus stepped into a shadowed room. It was the office of one of the senators attending the adventurers’ trial, a fairly nice place with a large table and comfortable chairs. Twenty people, all high ranking government officials, sat at the long table. The lights were off, everyone was quiet. There were no wiretaps or listening devices in this room, and the official who owned the room had a very light schedule.
Judge Marcus sat down.
There was no idle chatter, no private conversation, nobody spoke at all. Everybody already knew why they were gathered, everybody already knew their goal. In the silence, Judge Marcus set a small, metallic bead in his ear and gave it a light tap.
“This is scout squad one,” Judge Marcus said.
If the adventurers were there, they would have recognized the alien language being spoken by Judge Marcus as the same as the alien language they caught a young woman speaking. Well, they might have, it was hard to tell with the adventurers.
“Come in, scout squad one,” Headquarters said, “What is your status?”
“We have apprehended the interlopers,” the creature posing as Marcus said, “And confirmed damage to Alpha Unit. Currently, the interlopers stand trial.”
“Proceed with the trial,” Headquarters instructed, “Maneuver to dismantle Earth defences. Any objections?”
“The interlopers exploits border on the absurd,” Marcus said, “I fear they will hinder the next stage of the plan.”
“Negative,” one of the senators said, “If we draw out the trial, we can use their absurdity to strengthen the next part of the plan.”
“The longer the trial takes, the less people will believe the interlopers,” Marcus said.
“To an extent,” another person said, “If the trial takes too long, the public will become disinterested. If the trial is too short, the public will not be convinced. All this requires is finesse.”
“Scout squad one,” Headquarters said, “You are to continue with the trial, and move forward with the plan. You are trusted to make your own judgments.”
“Copy that,” Marcus said, “Over and out.”
Aurumite stepped into Elliot’s office, the lawyer having already brought out the chilled glasses and milk.
“Elliot,” Aurumite said, accepting a glass.
“John,” Elliot said, pouring himself a glass.
“So,” Aurumite said, “You said you had information about the case.”
“I do,” Elliot said, “First things first, I think those people are going to get put away for a long time, and I don’t think there’s much of anything I can do about that.”
“With what I learned today,” Aurumite said, “I’m almost glad.”
“The other thing,” Elliot said, “Was something I noticed Claire-”
“The over zealous nutjob?” Aurumite asked.
“You talking about all of them?” Elliot asked, “Anyway, I noticed that when Claire made her comment about putting evil people on trial, she gestured at you and Vanguard Squad.”
“So she’s extra crazy?” Aurumite asked.
“I don’t know,” Elliot said, “I reviewed the security footage, and she very briefly pointed to Battle Crow.”
“Elliot,” Aurumite said, “Are you telling me you believe her?”
“I’m telling you I don’t know what I believe,” Elliot said, “Everything they said about the other criminal organizations, Under Landers, Cult of Brass, all of that lines up to when we noticed those gangs stopping activity,”
“Okay,” Aurumite said.
“But they kept talking about shapeshifters,” Elliot said, “Do you know anything about that? Have you fought shapeshifters?”
“Honestly, I haven’t,” Aurumite said, “At least, not ones that could perfectly mimic humans.”
“Now, of everything they said,” Elliot said, “The shapeshifters is the craziest bit.”
“I mean, every lie has a kernel of truth,” Aurumite said.
“I know, but why lie about that?” Elliot asked, “If you’re making up this unreal sequence of events, that claims you solved the dozens of missing persons and murders in the past six months almost, why make up shapeshifters? Why add something so totally unbelievable?”
“Elliot, I’ve worked with Battle Crow for years,” Aurumite said.
“Have you ever been to Raven Base?” Elliot demanded.
“What?” Aurumite said.
“Have you ever been to Raven Base?” Elliot repeated.
“No,” Aurumite admitted.
“Have you ever seen under Battle Crow’s helmet?” Elliot asked.
“No,” Aurumite said, “Elliot, you don’t actually believe this, do you?”
“Like I said before, I don’t know what I believe,” Elliot said, “But I know I’ve seen a lot of people lie on the stands before, but it’s always little stuff. Minor details to place them outside of major events. It’s never anything like this, never shapeshifters.”
“Well, what do you want me to do about this?” Aurumite asked.
“I don’t know,” Elliot admitted, “I don’t know. If these shapeshifters do exist and have gone undetected for who knows how long, what chance do we have of finding them? I just- keep an eye out, is all I’m saying.”
“This is- Elliot this is too much,” Aurumite said, pushing his glass back, “Pour me another.”
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