《Iakesi: They Call Me Homeless, but I Cast Fireball!》Chapter Eighteen: Vanguard Legion

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Gorestrike watched as Kings Head came into view. From the balcony of Castle Gorestrike, the mighty warrior cheered, whooped, and hollered. It was unbecoming of a knight such as him, but Gorestrike was far too elated to truly care. At long last, his investment, endeavors, and patience had borne fruit. His mighty castle had finally been completed, and now he would stake his claim against the whole world.

“Gorestrike,” Ascension said, joining Gorestrike on the balcony. Psychedelika and GianTessa followed behind him.

“Is it not marvelous?” Gorestrike cheered, “I have not felt joy such as this since my father granted me his armor!”

“Right,” Ascension said, “Once we land, what exactly do you intend for us to do?”

Gorestrike had to pull himself out of his wild cheering, regain his composure, before answering Ascension.

“Ser Ascension,” Gorestrike declared, “Lady Psychedelika and Lady GianTessa. We are to establish order. The once great city of Kings Head is plagued by chaos! Criminal scum walk freely in the streets! Murderers and brigands plunder the righteous-”

“It was never that great,” Psychedelika muttered.

Gorestrike strode up to Psychedelika, his huge armored bulk looming over her. “Speak up,” Gorestrike demanded.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Psychedelika said, “You were having a monologue, and I don’t want to-”

“Speak up!” Gorestrike demanded.

“I- I said the city was never that great,” Psychedelika said.

“And indeed it was not,” Gorestrike declared, “And yet, the fetid corpse of King’s Head continues to stagger ever onward. The city shall burn in my wrath, and in our rule shall King's Head be remade!"

"But what are we going to do?" GianTessa asked.

"Fight!" Gorestrike declared, "Fight to take and hold territory! Fight all who would oppose our rule! Fight for glory and die for honor! Am I understood?"

"Ser Gorestrike, if you would," a harem woman said, peeking into the balcony, "Are the harem girls expected to fight alongside you?"

"Certainly not," Gorestrike declared, "My hope is that heroes shall breach the castle and face me in combat. My harem shall act as hostages to lure virtuous heroes in, and those mighty champions shall challenge me in my throne room! Let the fine ladies know that, once heroes reach me, should any warrior bid them escape they are free to leave.”

“My thanks, Ser Gorestrike,” the woman said with a bow.

“You ever think about getting a harem?” Psychedelika asked to GianTessa.

“What would I do with them?” GianTessa asked.

“You could-” Psychedelika said.

“Is this really something you need to share?” Ascension asked.

“I was gonna say she could have them play baseball, so she can watch,” Psychedelika said, “Or get people to sing to her, or something.”

“Baseball,” Ascension said.

“Look, are you really telling me you don’t want a bunch of hot babes draping themselves over you?” Psychedelika asked, “Cause I wouldn’t mind having a few hunky dudes waiting on me hand and foot.”

“Such carnal pursuits are beneath me,” Ascension declared, “I am a mind of science! Driven by intellect and reason!”

“Okay,” Psychedelika admitted, “But suppose we got some cute co-eds to talk about science and stuff with you? I bet you’d like-”

Ascension’s hand slid forward, wrapping around Psychedelika’s throat so quickly it took her a moment to register the action.

“Ser Ascension!” Gorestrike rebuked, slapping Ascension’s hand off Psychedelika, “Our moment of glory is at hand, soon you may slake your bloodlust on our enemies.”

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“Do not talk to me about harem again,” Ascension growled, pressing a finger against Psychedelika’s head, “The last thing I need is a woman.”

“Should I go?” GianTessa asked.

“No, no, my apologies,” Ascension said, rubbing his temple, “You just- that struck a nerve, is all.”

“I trust we can work together,” Gorestrike declared, “Petty squabbles shall not ruin this.”

“I shall maintain professional courtesy,” Ascension answered, “Worry not, my friend.”

Gamer Man thought he was a fairly optimistic person, that the many trials he had faced hadn't dampened his cheerful mood.

Seeing Castle Gorestrike on the news did a lot to dampen Gamer Man's cheerful mood. As he ran for his new motorcycle, Gamer Man briefly considered the difference between heroic endeavors and needless endangerment, concluding that he didn't really care at the moment.

"Hey, Hank," Felicia said, watching Castle Gorestrike arrive on the news, "Think we can take him?"

"Gorestrike?" Hank said, "We have trouble with swarms of gunmen, I'm worried that Gorestrike is going to rip us in half."

"The military is assembling a forward base," Alice said, looking up from her laptop.

"Huh," Hank said.

"You don't-" Felicia said, "You don't think they'd pay us in military hardware, do you?"

"Oh, no," Hank said, "But, in the chaos of a fight against someone like Gorestrike, I don't think they'd mind a few things going missing."

"Are you suggesting we steal from the military?" Alice asked.

"No," Hank said, "I'm saying that during a fight with someone like Gorestrike, nobody would notice a few things going missing. And, there’s probably some bit a’ regulation saying what all the military can and can’t sell to superheroes, even though most people just want to see the villains lose.”

“So, we’re hoping that the military will sell us contraband?” Felicia asked.

“I mean,” Hank said, “Are you hoping they don’t sell us contraband?”

“There are a few pieces of hardware we could use,” Alice mused.

“Like?” Felicia asked.

“Recon drones,” Alice said.

“Grenades,” Hank said.

“Cars,” Alice said.

“Alright, fine,” Felicia said, “We’ll go down there, do what we can, and get paid. Agreed?”

“Sounds good to me,” Hank said.

Christopher hung up the phone, a look of worry mixed with stoicism.

“Honey, you said your parents live in Montana, right?” Christopher asked.

“Yes,” Helen said, “What’s the matter?”

“Headquarters is calling me in,” Christopher said, “Gorestrike has been spotted flying back into King’s Head on a castle. I want you to take the kids to your parents for a while.”

“Christopher,” Helen said, pulling her husband into a hug, “Please stay safe.”

“I will,” Christopher said, holding Helen tight.

“So, girls,” Faery Fire said, “Right now, Gargoyle is on a plane back to America. Is there any way to-”

“I’ll go,” Pink said.

“Pink, I don’t think this is healthy,” Faery Fire said, “If any of us do follow him, we’re going to be fighting Gorestrike with him.”

“How dangerous is he?” Blue asked.

“He’s not called Gorestrike just because it sounds cool,” Faery Fire, “He’s extremely dangerous, and will kill all of you if you pick a fight with him.”

“You said Gargoyle said he’d look after us,” Pink argued, “He can’t do that unless we’re over there with him.”

“Pink,” Faery Fire said.

“Sailor Celestia did say we were supposed to save people and fight evil,” Green said.

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“I swear, if you all choose now to start ganging up on me,” Faery Fire said.

“We’re not just supposed to be fighting the Rider Gang,” Red added.

“Alright, Blue, you’re supposed to be the leader,” Faery Fire said, “So tell me, do you want the Sensational Sword Saint Sailors to pick a fight with a giant, armored, murderous lunatic.”

“Well,” Blue said, pausing as the weight of Faery Fire’s glare hit her, “What if we just worked in civilian rescue?”

“Then people would recognize you as superheroines,” Faery Fire said, “And insist you fight supervillains.”

“Sailor Celestial said we were supposed to be heroes,” Blue said, “And that means putting other people before-”

“Being a hero,” Faery Fire seethed, “Means understanding your limits, knowing what you can and can’t do, making sure you don’t make things worse. It means that if you know you can’t help a fight, you shouldn’t join a fight. Just putting other people before yourselves makes you a martyr! And do you know what martyrs do?”

The Sailors looked at Faery Fire in confusion.

“They die!” Faery Fire shouted, “And I am not going to let you die!”

“Faery Fire,” Pink said softly, “Gargoyle, he- I-” Pink’s voice dropped to a whisper. “He understands what I’m going through. He’s been through it. Please.”

“Of all the people to have puppy dog eyes,” Faery Fire groaned, putting a hand to her temple, “All right, show of hands, who wants to go to the violent, dangerous, chaotic battle?”

Yellow only raised her hand when she saw the rest of the Sailors raise their hands.

“Of course,” Faery Fire said, “Now, since you all insist on being heroes, I want all of you to understand this. This will be worse than the fight against the Rider Gang in the mall. However much you were hurting then, you will be hurting more. If you were afraid, you will be terrified. If you were unsure, you will be panicked. Am I understood?”

The Sailors all nodded.

“Okay,” Faery Fire said, “Now, since I care about you and want to see you happy and healthy, all of you will be going through therapy while we are in America. This will not be a sightseeing trip, you are not there for concerts, there will be no fan meet ups. The plan is to fight Gorestrike and go back home. Understand?”

The Sailors all nodded again.

“Good,” Faery Fire said, “Now, Blue, get us some plane tickets before I get scared.”

Gamer Man was actually surprised when he drove up to a military barricade, sandbags and riflemen blocking the road.

“Hi there,” Gamer Man called out, “I’m Gamer Man, here to fight Gorest-”

“Go home!” one of the soldiers called, “Too many kids here already!”

“I’m not a kid,” Gamer Man insisted, “I’m twenty two!”

“Sounds like a kid to me,” the other soldier said.

“And I’m a superhero!” Gamer Man said.

“What powers do you have?” one of the soldiers asked.

“Can you fly?” the other soldier asked.

“I built all my stuff,” Gamer Man said, “Well, except for the motorcycle.”

“That’s pretty good,” the first soldier admitted.

After a bit of a wait, the soldier talking to his commander, then that commander talking to another commander, Gamer Man was finally allowed inside the forward base. He really didn’t know what all the fuss was about. Weren’t superheroes always allowed in anyway? Gamer Man spent some time looking around the base, before being practically dragged in front of what he could only guess was the commander’s commander.

“I am sergeant Christopher," the man said, "You here to fight?"

"Yes sir, um, sir," Gamer Man said, wondering if sergeant was a higher rank than lieutenant, "Uh, do I need to salute you?"

"Yes," Christopher instructed, "As long as you are here, you will address me as sir. As long as you are fighting side by side my soldiers, you will address me as sir."

"Got it," Gamer said, "Oh, uh, got it sir."

"Report to the squad detail tent over there," Christopher instructed, "Command will get you teamed up with other manifested."

As Gamer Man wandered towards the command tent, he caught an odd sight.

"Victor Vibes?" Gamer Man said, walking up to the psychic, "I didn't know you were in the military! Do you get to go on top secret, blacks ops missions?"

"What? No!" Victor said, "They called me up to help maintain morale. I've never been in a fight before."

"Oh," Gamer Man said, "Does that-"

"I'm not going to be mind controlling people either," Victor said, "Just psychic psychiatric evaluations. Mind if I give you a quick checkup?"

"Go ahead," Gamer Man said, "But I've gotta get going. I'm going in a superhero team!"

Victor Vibes was quiet for a while. Mind reading took way less time than most people realized, but if Victor was too fast most people would think he hadn't actually done anything.

"Well?" Gamer Man asked, "How am I doing?"

"You're doing fine," Victor said, "I'll check up on you after combat." Gamer Man wasn’t doing fine, Victor Vibes knew. He was either completely and totally insane, based on the images of an unbelievably beautiful woman that filled his thoughts, or mentally unshakeable. If that ever broke though, Victor didn't know what would happen to Gamer Man.

Gamer Man walked into the command tent, and saw Zealot, Gladiator, and Wytch.

"Gamer Man, reporting for duty," Gamer Man said with a sharp salute.

"You ever fire a gun before, kid?" the commander asked, not looking up from his paperwork.

"No sir," Gamer Man said.

"Then, report to the firing range," the commander said, "After your combat effectiveness has been tested, you will be assigned to a squad."

"Sir, I-" Gamer Man said.

"Report to the firing range!" the commander barked, "Or do you need your ears cleaned?"

"Come on," Wytch said, leading Gamer Man and the New Adventurers out to the firing range, "They're making all of us do it."

"I've been a superhero for over a year," Gamer Man grumbled.

"Well, this isn't going to be superhero work," Gladiator said, "It's war. Oh, Gladiator." Gladiator extended a hand.

"Gamer Man," Gamer Man said, giving Gladiator's hand a firm shake.

Gamer Man looked up at the time he had posted at the firing range, walking back to meet with the range master. The range master was a bear of a man, red faced and utterly furious.

"You shot people without even looking!" the range master bellowed, "Why!"

"Actually, that's why I taped the target finders to my guns," Gamer Man explained, "On board intelligence on the power frame has aim assist. That's why I could hit targets without looking at them."

"And why were you firing full auto?" the range master demanded.

"My power armor, and power frame, and me provide recoil compensation," Gamer Man explained, "There wasn't a problem with my aim, was there?"

"Your aim was fine," the range master said, "Work on ammo conservation. You don't want to get caught reloading."

"Like this?" Gamer Man asked, using one hand to eject the magazine from his pistol. The hand on the power frame disengaged from Gamer Man’s arm, pulled a fresh magazine from his bandolier, and slid it into the pistol as Gamer Man chambered the round.

"Where’d you get those?" Wytch asked.

"I made them," Gamer Man answered.

"Okay but seriously," Wytch said.

"I did make them!" Gamer Man protested.

"If you tape those to the bottom of the barrel, it should be better than taping them to the top," the range master explained, "Now out of here before the rest of the troops see me talking to you. Wytch, you're up."

"Yes sir," Gamer Man said with a salute.

Wytch didn't know any spells to enhance her aim, and lacked a lot of the action hero athleticism the Gladiator and Zealot had. It didn't help that Wytch didn't know how to use a gun beyond pointing it at her target and pulling the trigger. After a few tries at the live fire course, Wytch had to give up her rifle.

Zealot did a bit better, she didn’t have proper firearms training but the barbarian had instilled a killer's instinct in Zealot. That, however, started becoming a problem. Zealot called on her great rage for focus in battle, only to squeeze the trigger of her rifle so hard it snapped. After a long, and thorough, dressing down from the range master, Zealot made a single mistake that got her rifle taken away as well.

"Why would you want a double barreled shotgun that fires both barrels at once?" the quartermaster demanded.

"To shoot someone really hard," Zealot said.

After that came a long winded rant about things like ammo conservation, weapon maintenance, ammunition types, accuracy, not shooting wildly into a crowd, not shooting wildly when civilians or hostages or squadmates are near your target, not shooting wildly at all, and a lot of other things being explained to Alice, who was taught to beat her enemies to a bloody paste and show no mercy. When it became clear that Alice wasn’t paying attention, that led to a longer, louder rant about discipline, trust, and duty.

The range master clearly had low expectations of Gladiator, but to Gladiator’s surprise a great deal of what the fighter taught came easily to marksmanship. That was a bit odd, because Gladiator was certain that the fighter had never seen, or touched, an assault rifle with multiple firing modes, a scope, iron sights that could be used with the scope pulled down, and a fore grip. Still, Gladiator wasn’t about to question inexplicable talent and kept clear firing lines, conserved ammo, and maintained a tight spread. It was impressive, and more than a bit relaxing for the range master. Gladiator posted an impressive time and-

“I was slower than Gamer Man!” Gladiator screamed, hands shaking as he glared at his score.

“Listen, Gamer Man had-” the range master tried to explain.

“No!” Gladiator barked, his voice dropping to a low growl, “Run it again.”

The soldier was neither intimidated nor amused, and returned Gladiator's scowl with his own practised glare.

"Run it," Gladiator repeated, "Agai-"

A low, rumbling boom cut through the camp, dozens of soldiers and manifested jumping from boredom to heart racing alert. Above Castle Gorestrike, a shimmering array of lights coalesced into a colossal, armored figure.

"Attention, warriors and heroes alike," the hologram of Gorestrike declared, "I am the mighty Ser Gorestrike! Ordained ruler of Castle Gorestrike! I hereby stake my claim over-"

"Help us," Gorestrike’s harem girls wailed, the hologram pitching as the girls grabbed at the camera, "Please! He's keeping us-"

"Silence!" Gorestrike bellowed, wrenching the camera away from his harem, "Defy me again and you die!"

The hologram cut off.

"Ser Gorestrike," a harem girl said, "Are you sure this will work?"

"Of course it shall work," Gorestrike declared, "No hero, mighty or meager, can resist a fair maiden's cry for help! Now, positions! I shall eagerly await opposition!"

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