AN: I need to remind everyone that this story is a fairly obvious satire of VR stories and writing in general. I do not endorse the behavior of the main character in this tale, especially in the actions that he takes during this chapter. I should not even have to type that, but I know someone would no doubt claim that I do. Enjoy!

PS: When I type in netorare my word processor wants to correct it to entourage. Was that important? No. Just like nothing in this story is entirely important. :P

Chapter 14: This Dude Be Trollin'

Meet and greets were universally capable of influencing two distinct types of responses in their attendees, joy and overwhelming boredom. Scott experienced the first upon arrival at the guild brothel, however the second response kicked in after a few hours.

It was a strange realization for the man, but after a certain amount of time spent in the company of busty naked women, the enchantment had worn off a bit. He had become so accustomed to the starkly naked nature of the women around him that he had started to see it as nothing special. This realization meant that he had to leave. Immediately.

What mystery is left to a man if tits no longer inspire him to the most ridiculous and manly of deeds? If even the heaving bosom of a busty blond faux-brit performing jumping jacks could not instill a love of mystery, then all hope was lost. In the spirit of keeping the spirit of perversity alive Scott valiantly tore his gaze from the lusty wenches who worked their booties to the boot to stay in virtual shape. He went further and logged off from the world itself.

Once again in the land of mundane reality and mullets, Scott rose from his VR-Cradle and stretched delicately. "Man, that was fun. Better get it down while I remember it all."

His authorial heart had become turgid with the need for release. Scott went to the bathroom to handle business left unspoken, and then sat down at his computer to begin typing down notes. His fingers typed out a word salad of ridiculous happenings and sexy goings-on that would make even a veteran sailor blush.

"I wonder..." Scott rubbed his chin. Long ago he had noticed that the easiest way to rocket a story to the top of the charts on Regal Road Classics was to write short, punchy, chapters where little happens but it keeps people hooked like a wall-eyed fish. He did not feel right about it, as it seemed rather manipulative. However, fuck all that. He wanted results. Authorial integrity could bite his shiny metal ass... once he installed one.

"Perfect... I can... Yes..." Scott slapped his hands together and then slowly rubbed them while chuckling in a malevolent manner. He had gone to the dark side. Nothing could stop him now but an uppity robot and a short green guy who could not possibly have ever gotten any pussy, ever.

The evil-minded author chose to write a new story and claim that he was writing it just for shits and giggles. No one would ever know the careful planning he would put into half-assing the tale. "Just for fun... Do not judge me harshly, please." he said while typing up his author's notes for the as yet unwritten tale.

He looked it over for a moment then grinned. "Insert smiley face emoticon... Yes...Smiley face. I'm your friend... Trust in me, I love my readers... Yes..."

Scott immediately took his notes and then opened a few folders on his computer that held bits and pieces of other stories that had never seen the light of day. He tented his fingers then laughed darkly. "Oh yes, this shall do nicely..."

The author quickly smashed together several chunks of different stories and laced them with his pervy adventures in Albione. Afterward, he went over the first four thousand words or so and cleaned them up. He fixed the grammar and cleaned up the typos. After reading through it once more, he separated that perfectly good chapter into five separate chapters and then added a slight bit of detail to each part to make them close to one thousand words each.

He threw his head back and laughed maniacally as his Franken-story began to take life. It was the harrowing tale of a young man who was orphaned during an attack on his village. He was forced to survive on his own eating frogs and drinking rain water from leaves, until he was picked up by a kindly old man who taught him the ways of the manwhore.

Taken to a temple brothel, the young man worked feverishly to develop the powers necessary to gain vengeance upon the bandits that had destroyed his home town. "Arise oh mighty manwhore... Arise and claim your revenge..." Scott laughed like a demented hyena as he typed it all in. "Add a little more revenge fantasy... maybe some cultivation for the xianxia lovers... a few stats and such... There! It is now perfect."

"But what do I call it?" he asked the air curiously. "Ah, of course." he said after realizing the only obvious choice. Scott titled the story Legendary Martial God Manwhore Who Shall Burn the Heavens.

"Yeah, I'm sure the admins won't mind greenlighting that title..." he said with a wry smile upon his lips.

Scott submitted his story to the site then decided to check the status of his other stories on the site. After reading through a few of the more hateful comments, he decided to go read a few manga of the cuckolding NTR genre since that was the only thing that would piss him off enough to drag his thoughts away from the haters. He needed a more pristine and pure hatred to flow through him so that he could channel it toward something more constructive than becoming salty with his haters.

Fuck those guys anyway. Where the hell did they get off calling his characters shallow dolls who only exist to have sex with his Mary Sue main character? Clearly they knew nothing of his works! His main characters were all male. They would be Gary Stus at the very least. The nerve of such people... "And yes the author has touched a real vagina before thank you very much!"

"Damn... nothing new." he said after a few minutes of questing online for netorare tales of cuckoldery for his anger management purposes. A few minutes was all it took to remind him that he hated cuckolding themed manga in general and it would be a waste of time to hate it further.

He understood that people cheated on each other. He did not understand why some tiny dicked guy would cry a river of tears while furiously masturbating to the sight of his wife or girlfriend getting reamed by a centaur or minotaur, or whatever the hell else Japan had thought up that day. Half the time the guy would hang himself afterward, too. Seriously, how useless was that shit?

"No matter how much I look, I never see one of those dumb bastards man up and beat the other guy over the head with a kettle bell or something." Scott snorted at the very idea of just watching some other guy banging your girlfriend. Guns exist for a reason dammit!

Sure, some people got off on that sort of thing, but some people also got off on taping dead fish to their bodies and laying down in a room full of cats. It didn't make it any better when he heard about it!

On the other hand he was perfectly fine with the idea of banging some other guy's hot big knockered girlfriend. Fuck that guy. He should just go hang himself and give Scott all the sad girl pussy. "Oh your boyfriend with the pathetic little weener tot dick hung himself? You poor thing... come and let daddy make you feel like a princess."

He thought about what he had just said for a moment then quirked his eyebrow. He immediately added it to one of the 'chapters' of his story. "The bored little bastards will love that shit..."

Scott checked back with Regal Road Classics and was surprised to see that his story had been accepted. "Damn... I already got a five out of five review? It's like eight hundred words you overly excited reader you..."

He made a reply to the review thanking the reviewer for their review. "You rock! Teehee! I appreciate your support." said

Scott while batting his eye lashes comically. "Oh, better not forget the smiley face..."

He posted the next 'chapter' then laughed moronically as people began to enjoy the fruits of his half-assed labors. "Wow, who knew I would take so well to being an amoral hack writer who only posts quick, punchy, chapters to manipulate the ratings."

Sure, some people just did that because they naturally write short chapters and have a lot to write. He was not concerned with the honest writers of short interesting chapters. A chapter should only be as long as it needed to be, and no longer. Many excellent writers wrote chapters that never rose above one thousand words due to their personal style of fast paced writing. There were even a few on the site that he enjoyed reading.

No, it was not the honest writers that he took his method from. He had cleverly channeled the essence of the manipulative asshats, the kind of people who would give a half-point rating to any story that dared to rise above its station and threaten their assholish superiority. Scott laughed raucously and proclaimed, "A man who fights trolls should be careful, lest he become the troll."

"So, let's troll some half-starring bitches." said Scott lightly. It was time to take the battle to the haters. It was time to make them weep bitter tears of bullshit by rocketing his story to the top and ranking higher than their little bitch asses. He had not had this much fun writing a story in years.