《Being the God of Hell is a bother [On temporary hiatus]》Chapter 1 - The Divine Tutor

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When Viktor woke up, he was found himself layd down on the floor, with something hard and pointy poking him behind his shoulders. All around him was a reddish rock plain as far as the eye could see. There were nothing on the horizon, and even the sky, of a pale greyish blue, lacked any cloud or bird. Heck, there wasn't even a sun: the light seemingly came from the sky itself.

[Ah, what the hell is this? What happened? Was that “Highest One” thing all a dream? And what is this thing poking my shoulders!?!] (Viktor)

Viktor moved, and to his puzzlement the thing on his shoulders moved with him. It felt strangely heavy.

[What is this? Do I have something attached to my...] (Viktor)

He looked above his shoulders and immediately froze.

Two huge, black and furry bat sprouted from his back.

[WHAT THE HELL!?!] (Viktor)

He screamed, obviously shacken, and the wings moved panickly in response to his emotion, making him lose balance and fall again on the ground.

[What is this!?! Why do I have those... those “things” on my back!?! What's going on!?!] (Viktor)

He started calming down... and finally he noticed various things. The wings were not the only thing that changed about him.

His skin was of a dark shade of red, and his hands had talons and claws instead of nails.

He touched his face, and luckily it seemed to be a human one... until he got to his forehead, that had two pointy horns attached.

[What the hell!? Why have I turned into some discount halloween devil!?!] (Viktor)

[Answer: All the new Gods of Domir have been given a physical appareance adequate to their role in the pantheon.] (???)

Viktor, surprised, turned left and right. Around him there was only the desert. But he definitely heard a voice right now!

[Who is it? Who spoke!?!] (Viktor)

[Answer: the one who spoke is myself, the Divine Tutor. ] (DT)

Viktor waited for more explanations, but they didn't come. Finally, he asked again:

[And... who are you?] (Viktor)

[Answer: I am a Divine Tutor.] (DT)

Viktor moaned. That literal answer somehow annoyed him to no end. And the emotionless tone they were given to him made him feel like he was talking to a robot.

[What do you mean with Divine Tutor? What are you exactly? Why can't I see you?] (Viktor)

[Multiple questions detected. The answers will be in chronological order. Answer number one: by Divine Tutor I mean Divine Tutor. Answer number two: I am exactly a Divine Tutor assigned to the God of Hell. Answer number three: the divine tutor is programmed to have whichever shape the God in his charge desires. As the God in my charge, you, didn't express any desire in regard of my shape, I still have to take one.] (DT)

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Viktor grit his teeth in frustration. Again with those literal answers! Please, someone save me from this nightmare of a conversation!

But all around him it was a blank desert, so he had to endure it.

At least the third one was somehow useful, he thought while trying to be positive.

[So you will take the appareance of whatever I want to?] (Viktor)

[Answer: Yes, I will.] (DT)

Viktor paused for a moment, before wishing for the first thing that passed through his mind.

[Well then... take the form of a penguin, will you?] (Viktor)

[Answer: yes I will. Shape changing to suit the desire of the God of Hell.] (DT)

Immediately, a small penguin appeared in front of Viktor, floating mid air.

[Whoa! So you really take the shape of whatever I want!] (Viktor)

[Possible question detected. Answer: yes I do.] (DT)

Viktor stood still and silent for some minutes. He had a big confusion in his head, and he needed to sort it out. This Divine Tutor could maybe help him, but he needed to formulate his questions in the right way.

[Okay, I think I got it. What is a Divine Tutor? Are you here to just answer my question or do you have any other function? Also, are you... sentient or just some kind of weird magic robot illusion?] (Viktor)

[Multiple questions detected. The answers will be in chronological order. Answer number one: a Divine Tutor is an entity assigned by the Highest One to the new Gods of Domir in order to provide them with the informations they need to perform their duties. ](DT)

[Answer number two: my function help the God of Hell, you, in any way I can. If you ask for something, I will do anything within my abilities in order to fulfill your request.] (DT)

[Answer number three: unclear question. Possible answer: the Divine Tutor is an entity created by the Highest One for the sole purpose of aiding the new Gods of Domir. I am very real and I am not a robot, but there is a certain amount of magic involved in my creation.] (DT)

Viktor stayed still for a while, assimilating those informations.

[So... I am this “God of Hell” then? And this place is Domir?] (Viktor)

If this place was the “New World” that God was talking about, sure it was desolate!

[Multiple questions detected. The answers will be in chronological order. Answer number one: yes, you are the God of Hell. Answer number two: yes and no.] (DT)

[What do you mean with yes and no?] (Viktor)

[Answer: I mean yes and no.] (DT)

Viktor struggled with the impulse to punch the Tutor, then asked, in an irritated tone:

[Allright, why is this place Domir and at the same time it isn't?] (Viktor)

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[Answer: this place is Hell. It function as the afterlife for sinners of Domir, and in this regard it's tied to it. But at the same time it's a different plane of existence.] (DT)

[Then I literally am in Hell right now. Splendid. So, what do we do now?] (Viktor)

[Answer: we do what we are doing.] (DT)

This time Viktor couldn't hold himself and tried to strike the floating penguin in front of him, only for his fist to pass through it.

Evidently that little bastard was immaterial.

[Sooo... can you by any chance become physical? Because I'd really need something to punch right now!] (Viktor)

[Answer: No. Divine Tutors cannot become physical, as we are merely a collection of data. Possible question/need detected: everything else is here to be punched by you if that helps you.] (DT)

Even though the voice of the tutor was as emotionless as ever, he couldn't help but think that it was sounding condescending.

[Thank you very much. I guess I can punch the air or the ground then!] (Viktor)

The bitterness and irony were thick in Viktor's voice. It had been a very bad day for him, and this little mass of literal mindedness was not helping him. In fact, it was giving him a migraine.

He decided to just lay down and think for a while. Unluckily for him, the wings kept getting in the way: first of all they were really big, and second he kept reflexively on moving them.

[Dammit! Is there a way to get these wings out of the way!?!] (Viktor)

[Answer: Yes, there is.] (DT)

Viktor stared at the penguin. He thought of the right way to formulate the question in order to avoid other doses of that spirit breaking literal responses, then asked:

[How do I remove these wings in a way that won't cause me any discomfort, like ripping them away? Explain it to me in detail, and also tell me if it should involve anything that may be negative for me.] (Viktor)

[Answer: all the new Gods of Domir have been given the ability to shapeshift to a certain extent. In order to do so, you just have to concentrate on the appareance you want to have with the desire to turn into it. In order to remove the wings, you just have to concentrate on your present shape minus the wings.] (DT)

[Oh, that's... convenient I guess. Well, I'll give it a try.] (Viktor)

Viktor tried concentrating on his appareance... but he couldn't really do it. For starters, he didn't really knew how he looked like right now, and he was too shaken to think hard about his old appareance.

[Uhm... isn't there like, a mirror here somewhere?] (Viktor)

[Answer: No. Presently, this dimension (Hell) does not hold anything except us.] (DT)

[Marvellous. Wait... can you turn into a mirror?] (Viktor)

[Answer: Yes I can.] (DT)

[Then do so.] (Viktor)

The penguin turned into a big mirror (strangely enough, a mirror just like the one Viktor was thinking about), big enough to allow him to check his whole image.

He had changed a lot, but at the same time it was still him. More like, a devil version of himself. His face was about the same, except far the fact that it was crimson red: he was still sharp faced, with a big nose and lazy eyes (which were yellow now), but now he sported a mephistophelic beard and his ears were sharp too. Also, two pointy horns sprouted from his forehead.

His body however was much more fit, not that he was “totally” out of shape before, but now he was ripped: since he was wearing only a pair of yellow pants, he could see his naked torso. While thin, his muscles were greatly toned and he had six packs like he never hoped to have.

All in all, apart from looking like a halloween costume, he wasn't too dissatisfied with his appareance... except that the wings were far too cumbersome.

He tried to focus, imagining himself without wings. He closed his eyes, concentrating on this task... and suddenly his back felt much lighter.

When he looked in the mirror again, the wings had disappeared.

[Not bad! Not bad at all! With those out of the way, I can move way better! And if I can take any shape I want, maybe I could try taking the appareance of a sexy girl... ugh!](Viktor)

He couldn't finish his thought that the wings sprouted from his back like springs, making him fall again.

[Goddammit! What is this!?! Why did they grow back!?!] (Viktor)

[Answer: the Gods of Domir have to keep concentration on their shapeshift, otherwise they go back to their original appareace.] (DT)

[Fan-freaking-tastic! I had ONE good thing today and as it turns out it sucks too! How can I keep my concentration on the shape all the time, or while sleeping?] (Viktor)

[Answer: with enough practice you should be able to do that. Also, Gods do not require sleep.] (DT)

[But I like sleeping! Does that mean I won't be able to sleep again!?!] (Viktor)

[Answer: no, you can still sleep if you want. You just don't require it anymore.] (DT)

Viktor again absorbed that information. He stood silent again, sitting on the rocky plain, as if he was meditating.

[You know what? If this was a game, I wouldn't like it. But then again, I don't know the rules. So I think it's time for some study!] (Viktor)

[Hey Tutor! Tell me everything about the powers I have been given as God of Hell or whatever. Also, tell me anything I may need to know about this place. ] (Viktor)

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