《Living the Great Sage Life with my Fairies and Lovers in a New World》Chapter 17: I Really Didn't Know What Was Going on in Her Head Back Then
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“Is the meal to your liking, Milady?”
“Mm …” The young boyish-looking lady was apathetic in her response as she ate and gazed out the window of the inn where she and her butler were staying, having a late evening meal after a long carriage ride before settling down to clean themselves and head for bed. The young lady watched the activity of Brightlas’ nightlife before her scarlet-colored eyes. Their Fairy Companions sat on a fairy-sized table on top of their Chaperones’ own as they ate and took in the same view.
“Since we left much sooner than scheduled, we can take our time getting back home within the next day or two. How about we take a look around in the city and explore tomorrow? Maybe we can find something for your father as a souvenir?”
“…”
“Milady?”
“I was just thinking … do you think Soar will ever forgive me? When I apologize to him earnestly the next time we meet? Even though I was so rude to him before?”
“If you ask me, I’m more worried of how you said we shouldn’t mention anything of what happened today to your father. I mean, the ‘accident,’ I can understand, but Master Soar? Won’t it be more dangerous to leave him be as a potential threat to the kingdom? If we had him on our side, we would be more at ease.”
“… That’s only if we tempted him like I had foolishly done today. From what his family and acquaintances had seen, that was the first they had witnessed such power before I forced his hand. If he was holding himself back up to today, he is more intelligent than he appears to know what he’s capable of. If Father does anything to force his hand further, then it would be on him … on me, for our kingdom’s downfall.”
“Milady …”
Agnes thought back to everything her sword instructor, Seal Galveston, had mentioned about his other student and how that compared to what she saw from him in person. From the moment he greeted her to how strong his eyes that matched the sky-blue pigments of his hair were during their spar, to how ecstatic he was when he taught the rabbitkin girl magic, to how focused and manly he looked when he cast his own spell with such power and certainty. He may not have revealed it to everyone there, but it was confirmed by his parents and teacher he was contracted with not one, not two, but three fairies (before they discovered his fourth later on), and that just showed how incredible he really was.
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If there was one thing she had learned from her encounter though, it’s that her general experience paled in comparison to his. Whatever hardships he had gone through to produce the results he displayed then, he doesn’t consider anybody worth his time and breath if they ever dared question his prowess, let alone antagonize him.
“You … are nothing to me.”
He couldn’t have made that statement, his feelings towards her clearer as Agnes recalled those words that pierced her chest in pain. She had brought that to herself when trying to prove her superiority to him. Despite her rudeness from the beginning, he only tried to pay prudent respects to her. She was no better than others who had done the same to her because of her gender, despite how the magic in Manara can even the odds of battle no matter the circumstances. He wasn’t like the other noble brats; he didn’t care about gender or social status. He faced her head-on with no fighting words spoken, royally defeated her fair and square in both bouts of sword and magic, and showed just how far above her he really was when she only acted so big.
What’s more, Agnes knew … she could tell, he was holding back from their spar, yet he still managed to make her fall. Even with a blunt practice sword not imbued with mana, he could take her life in an instant. For a brief moment, she felt the presence of death trailing a finger up her spine, scythe resting on her neck as her life flashed before her eyes. When she looked into the boy’s own, they were unlike anything she had seen from other kids. They were what she had seen from adults like her sword instructor and her father when they got into their own spars.
Eyes that have seen things that kids shouldn’t see, have done things kids shouldn’t do, and yet this boy who was 1 year younger than her had been through both. It was terrifying enough for her to make that ‘accident’ in response.
As if that weren’t enough, if that spell in the magic demonstration was ‘Wind Needle,’ a basic in Wind Magic, then who knows how powerful his higher-tier spells are? That meant he was far stronger than she could possibly imagine, and since he was young, he could grow even stronger still.
That’s why she thought it was best to not tell this to her father who headed the Knight Guard. They’d be wasting their time trying to recruit Soar to their ranks, and if they pushed him like Agnes did that day, she couldn’t fathom how her home, how the entirety of Reskondant Kingdom, would turn out if he’s able to leave such destruction on his yard from a ‘basic’ Wind Magic spell.
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In his eyes, Agnes truly was ‘nothing’ to him, and it would be the same to those who oppose him. She had experienced true fear twice that day, and she didn’t wish that on anyone else who was foolish enough to do the same.
From that fear, she had reflected her actions. From what she overheard of the boy’s life by his family and Claire, she reflected further still. In the end, she had not only felt fear, but guilt and a tinge of respect for Soar. Unlike her, he didn’t boast his powers, he never felt the need to. He didn’t abuse his powers, either. Up until then, he had only wanted to be on the same level of connection as those around him (except maybe the kids around his own age going by what she heard), to keep and maintain memorable bonds with his family and friends, and he didn’t want to do something that could distance himself so far from them.
Agnes might’ve done just that by forcing his hand in order to push her away and he may have put up a wall between himself and everyone else in the process. Force him to show something she had wanted just to affirm her superiority, whether it be towards those from her own home or the bullies that had done wrong to her. She couldn’t look at herself in the mirror without feeling disgusted then.
That was why she used up the majority of pocket money her father gave for the trip to pay for the catering from Soar’s favorite restaurant, sweets, and decorations in order to not end his birthday on a bad note. In order to atone for her mistakes, as well as show him how she realized how much she was in the wrong.
And of course, hopefully reconsidering the possibility of overthrowing the kingdom with his power alone.
“… To answer your question,” Melissa the maid continued after a long pause, “you did all you could with the arrangements for Master Soar at the last minute, and after many tries, you made sure you wrote your letter to him with all of your heart and feelings put into it. I must express how proud and grateful I am to be able to witness such a compassionate deed. I’m confident he will see those feelings in your letter and the two of you will come to be long-time friends the next time you meet.”
“… Yes, I think that would be nice.”
If she could wind back time, she’d wish to do the day over again and leave a better impression of her character than she did towards the young man. Maybe she’d celebrate his birthday with everyone there properly by then, and maybe learn more about him personally than from what she heard other people had mentioned.
She couldn’t simply face him and apologize after what happened. With their distance between them, for how much he could even hear from her, she might as well have been an annoying fly buzzing around his ear. It would be hopeless to even make him look her way if their distance didn’t change, and he could grow even further away still. Agnes really was ‘nothing’ to him, in every true sense of the term.
That was why she needed to get stronger, to start climbing the tall pillar Soar stood on. Even if she couldn’t see much change from when she started, she just had to keep climbing, because, at some point, he would see and hear her when she called out to him. He would know something was there, and Agnes would be that ‘something.’ Just as she wrote it in the letter.
Agnes really left a bad impression in Soar’s eyes. She wanted to earn his respect like he had done with hers. She wanted to show the young man how much she wanted to get closer to him, not just on the scales of power, but as individuals that aren’t defined by gender or social class.
With that said, there was no time to dawdle and daydream. If there was a chance for her to start improving, she could not let it wait another day.
“Hey, Melissa?”
“Yes, Milady?”
“How about tomorrow after breakfast … we make a stop at Brightlas’ hunter’s guild first?”
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