Let me just say first that I love magic. Whether it be in literature, movies, games, especially when manga, anime, and light novels started getting more popular, anything that’s based on magic, I like to look into all of the different interpretations and functions that creators were able to come up with inside their own respective worlds. I guess you could say I’m a sort of ‘Magic Otaku’ in the east, but even though I was born and raised in the US, putting my Mixed-Mostly Asian ethnicity aside, I was drawn into the concept since an early age.

It wasn’t like my obsession with all things magic had led me to be single for the past 39 years of my life, either. When it comes to fantasy or any kind of story, really, just as it was in any and all things media displayed for the average viewer, magic had been a means of escapism, a way to keep me sane for all of that time.

I grew up in a very strict, successful household. Studying, education and the results of those were all that my parents cared about. I wouldn’t say they were bad parents, but if I had to describe them, they’d have to be … estranged, at best. I don’t think I could recall one moment any of us ever did anything, well, ‘family-like.’ I was just told that as long as I maintained good grades, then I can get pretty much anything I want along with a good allowance.

So, when I got old enough to buy the things I wanted online, I spent what my parents gave me into merchandise that had to do with magic, both east and the west. I’d read those stories and special collector’s booklets that would explain the mechanics in those fictional worlds’ magic, too. In my spare time, I would check out any books focusing on the instruction of witchcraft, sorcery, and even their tangents like summons, alchemy, and synergy. I like to think science is where I got most of my knowledge of magic because that’s probably the closest thing to it in real life on Earth.

Sadly, that did next to nothing in my social-life through all of my years of education. Yes, I maintained my quota in achieving good grades and academics even through college, but while my magic obsession had kept me sane from the workloads, I hardly ever did anything normal students would be expected to do in their time in school: attend clubs, sports events, have get-togethers, finding and falling in love, you know, normie things.

Oh, and the occasional bullying didn’t really help make my middle and high school life any better, either. Still, I persevered, bit the bullet, and worked through it all in order to get the financial support I needed from my parents, their best, if not only form of love given to me as a family, to invest in my hobbies. I developed social anxiety due to meeting my parents’ expectations and dealing with bullies, though, which made me shut myself away into my hobbies further.

Finally, after all of my time spent through education to the end of college, my parents then asked me when I was going to start a family. What did they think I’ve been doing up to then? At that point, I wasn’t even sure if getting that degree was worth the money, time, and effort spent on getting it, especially since I’ve been working as an IT from graduation up to then. I’m thankful I was able to get some computer science-like classes in to even get a well-paid job like that.

I went to a decent college close to my home so I would save money, but it seemed that no matter what I did, even if I went to a prestigious university like Harvard or Yale (which would be possible for me with my grades, by the way), I would never satisfy my parents. I would feel their disappointment in me weighing on my shoulders at their home, and it started to suffocate me. So, I moved out into my own place, shut myself from the world and distance myself from my parents even further while keeping occupied with my hobbies.

Even then at 39, I still loved magic the moment I first came across it. It had been my stronghold in keeping me sane as well as maintaining my child-like curiosity and creativity. I like to think the joy I gained from that is how the knowledge of this world’s ‘magic’ had shown its love to me.

But still … it wouldn’t hurt to receive love from an actual human being, or at least some form of affection despite my social anxiety. I couldn’t even get a regular pet like a dog or cat because my parents were allergic to most of their dander, keeping something like a fish would serve no purpose, and I heard reptiles were pretty hard to take care of. Even when I started living on my own, the cheapest place I could afford wouldn’t allow pets.

I had barely seen a few girls over the course of my education in college, but I was swamped with the workload to really give them the kind of attention they should receive from a good boyfriend, but even putting that aside, I just didn’t think we opened up a lot to each other. Then again, I may not have a lot to talk about anyway, considering I only vested into magic-related stuff in my free time, and what girl would want to hear about stuff like that? There were a few cute girls in my IT office, but they didn’t look like they want to get romantically involved with me, and some guys already had significant others of their own. After my days were done, I would occasionally have a drink at my go-to pub, get hammered in the evenings, and still lose myself in fantasy-centered hobbies on my days off. Yep. That was the pinnacle of my life right there.

It wasn’t going to be any different that night, spending my 39th birthday alone with more food and alcohol than usual. Looking back on my life up to then as I drank my … fourth pint, I think it was? I didn’t regret losing myself in my magic obsession, but I wondered if I really spent the time I had into the things I really wanted.

I was already getting close to 40 with no sex. With all of the knowledge I had learned in magic up to then, I could’ve been one of the most talented ‘wizards’ in America at that time, hell, maybe even the world if I’m being optimistic. One more year, and I would’ve become a ‘sage.’ I then thought about why such a fantastic concept like magic existed. Sure, there was that time when people who practiced witchcraft were executed by burning them at the stake or hanging. Yes, I understood that things would be bad if magic were abused, but if it really existed back then, was wiping out everyone who was capable of pulling it off really the only conclusion they came to when deciding how to deal with that situation? Couldn’t they have tried to understand it better and pass on that knowledge to their offspring and generations beyond that? If magic became an actual thing, then Earth might not have been as dull and depressing as it was back then.

What am I even still doing here? I thought to myself as I was dragging my feet out of the pub completely drunk. The city lights were bright enough that lit up the darkness in this city as I pulled out my phone on the sidewalk and punched in a number for a cab to get back home. It was then I noticed something familiar … or I should say someone.

Ah, Shannon? Looks like she’s on a date right now with one of the guys. I didn’t notice she had that kind of chemistry with him at the office but good for her. I’ll leave them alone.

I looked in the opposite direction and saw something I couldn’t ignore. A guy in a hoodie that looked to be a young man in his mid-20’s. How long he had been glaring at Shannon’s direction, I couldn’t say, but the handle that was sticking out of his pocket as he reached for it was setting off warning sirens in my mind that sobered me up a little while time seemed to slow down.

Is he … no way, in a place like this?! Is this guy drunk or crazy?!

The guy moved and made a dash for Shannon. He kept his head low to keep himself from being recognized or something, I couldn’t tell. I didn’t know what came over me, but my awakened body moved on its own in response to his premeditated assault.

“Shannon! Look out!”

The next instant, I felt a powerfully painful heat burning under my ribs. The hooded guy was right in front of me with a handle hilted just underneath my chest.

“Shit!”

The hooded assaulter pulled out and ran off in a hurry. Burning heat turned into great coldness as blood poured out from the wound and my mouth. With the alcohol hindering my adrenaline’s effects and my balance, I collapsed on the spot.

“Lucas?! Lucas! Someone! Quick! Call an ambulance! Lucas!” Shannon was getting hysterical as she crouched over me with tears in her eyes. Her boyfriend might’ve been behind me, I didn’t know. A loud ringing filled my ears while my vision turned white.

Ah … Shannon, you shouldn’t cry over a guy like me. It won’t look good for your date, will it? Sheesh, you were just like this that other time, too.

Shannon was one of our newer hires at the office. I was one of the guys with the highest seniority that had to supervise her over the first few weeks of her time there. She was really pretty that could attract plenty of guys, but what kind was up to one’s imagination. The last time I saw her crying like that was when she broke up with her ex through a phone call. From what I had been told, he was a piece of shit, and whatever he said or did to her then was the last straw, but I know that cutting yourself off from someone toxic to you won’t be painless if you’ve been with them for a long enough time. I couldn’t do much that time and I was hesitant to get more involved at first, but I thought I had to look out for her as a senior. So, we’d occasionally meet up and she’d vent to me some problems in her love life. I felt I haven’t done much for anyone up to that point and wanted something different to happen in my life, so I thought doing that would be the least I could do. My body must’ve felt the same when it took the knife for her.

“Lucas! Please, don’t die! Not after I just got you your birthday present!” Shannon cried.

… Wait, was that why she was with that guy? For some help finding a present? For me?

“Don’t die after everything you’ve done for me! I haven’t told you how much you mean to me! I—”

“Stop …” I croaked while I reached out to her with a shaky hand. She grabbed it as if on reflex. “Whatever you’re about to say, whatever you got for me … you wouldn’t have to worry about my response. Just seeing someone … so worked up about this over me … I couldn’t be any happier.” I tried to force a smile, but the wetness from my eyes betrayed what I was really feeling. My body started to get cold with the blood loss and I lost feeling in my muscles.

I put everything I could into the sensation I felt from Shannon holding my hand. It was so warm, soft, and smooth. Seriously, what the hell? If lending an open ear was all it took for her to be this thoughtful towards me, then why … didn’t I do something like this sooner?

Why couldn’t I just … be bolder? Why couldn’t I be more honest with myself and work towards my desires more boldly? Even if I wouldn’t get something like this, a heartfelt thanks and more chances to talk would’ve been nice, too.

“Thank you … for caring about me, Shannon. Thank you. Thank you …” My voice faded and my eyes couldn’t hold themselves up any longer as my body fell limp.

“No! Lucas! Lucaaaaas!”

If only … I could start over to work and find the things I really wanted …

At that point, I, Lucas Rantin, a guy who just turned 39, single, and a ‘wizard,’ was no longer a part of that world called Earth.