Ugggghhh... Not drinking with those dumb ass LARPers again. My hangover was driving a bolt through my head all the way down to my ass, considering how I couldn't even move. Though it wasn't like I wanted to wake up anyway. I didn't exactly have too many plans for the day, since I wasn't exactly working, didn't have a girlfriend, and was pretty much a bum. Honestly, I had been a bum for the last few months, since my job at the stupid research lab went bust. Falsifying data had that effect, unfortunately. Though, in my defense, Professor Dip Shit kept pushing for results even though it was obvious the whole experiment was a failure.

So, as any person with a lot of free time would do, I decided to check out the local fun things to do after my less than pleasant termination. Hence, my run in with the local LARPers. Interesting people, with their 'cool' costumes and amusing dialogue. However, I have to be honest. The whole reason I decided to hang out with them was due to the blonde. She was as pretty as they come, had some nice assets with a capital A, and seemed like the type, who was willing to have some fun. So, I joined up, got my character's outfit, got my special LARPer name, got wasted on some home made moon shine, read some goofy lines from a suspicious looking black book, signed my name in blood in it for some reason, and then blacked out. At least, that's how I think it went.

So, I somehow ended up passed out in my bed after a night of drunken LARPing, though it was weird that I couldn't technically feel a bed. Reaching underneath me, there was nothing there. Forcing my eyes open, I was momentarily left lost for words. I was in a bright whitish room or at least it looked like one. There was no bed. Hell, there was no bedroom. I thought I was alone too, but then I saw it. A black blob of some kind was floating a short distance from me, bobbing up and down like a stupid rubber ball.

I tried to reach out to it, just out of instinct, but I found out that I had no arms. Looking down, I found that I had no legs, either, Now, most people would have panicked at such a revelation, but being hungover kind of made me clueless. Oh, yes, I forgot to mention that my body or what seemed like my body from what I could tell was also a big blob floating in the air.

Around then, a creepy, buzz saw like voice from some shitty B horror movie reverberated through the room. “Ah. Foolish mortal! It seems my gamble worked. Ah, the power, the essence,.. Everything I need!”

Now, I was never the type to discriminate against different groups, but I also kind of hated creeps of all kinds, who decided to forcefully push their desires on others. “Dude, you need to kind of back off. I don't swing that way. Also, where the hell are we? Some kind of new VR shit?” My voice sounded the same, but I was kind of amazed that it also echoed in the room. Though by this point, I was starting to come to my senses a little, wondering where the hell I was. Floating around as a big glowing ball was definitely not normal.

The black blob began shaking and twitching before almost screaming. “Quiet mortal! Become my sacrifice! I Neduzar Arcuz Marruz Vallazar Methrallan will finally be free!” With that, the creepy blob threw itself at me like some rabid squirrel that had finally found its prize acorn.

“Fuck! Stay away from me, shit head!” Having somewhat sobered by now, it kind of finally dawned in my mind that whatever was going on was not exactly normal. Unfortunately, the black blob collided with me, sending both of us spinning around the white room. “Ouch! What the fuck, you crazy shit!” I felt pain, like some damn dog was biting on my arm. It hurt like hell, and it also didn't look pleasant either. My 'body' had a medium sized black lump attached to it like some kind of freaky boil even as I kept hearing the damn blobs hysterical ranting. “Yes! Yes! The essence, the pure strength of soul!”

“Get off, you bastard!” The stronger the pain got, the more I was starting to get angry and the more I realized this place wasn't exactly some dream. Trying to fight back, I tried swinging my nonexistent arms in desperation, since I had no clue what fighting in blob form entailed. Surprisingly, the black blob went flying away, leaving me floating there, staring at some thick flagella like extension sticking out of my body.

“You lowly ant! How dare...” Blocking out the ranting coming from my new 'friend,' I stared at my new arm. Though, the LARPers would have probably called it something like 'Astral Extension' or some weird shit. I tried to shake it like I normally would, and lo and behold, it moved up and down. That got me thinking, even as I fended off my adversary's attacks with my two new arms, whether I could simulate the rest of my body. Mind you, I was freaked out that I was a blob floating around somewhere, but surviving seemed to be a good idea as the first priority.

I tried walking, and amazingly enough, little stumps grew below me and I was able to move around, dodging the increasingly desperate attacks. By this time, I was growing a bit tired of being constantly pestered by my counterpart, especially since each time he actually hit me, it felt like I was being bit. Hitting him with my 'arms' was not doing much, so the next time 'he' came by ranting, I decided to take a bite of him. What was the saying? An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. Though in this case, it seemed more like a bite for a bite.

The first good chomp led to some more cursing, though a bit different from before. “Agggggh... What have you done! You, misbegotten maggot...” As the black blob retreated cursing, I savored the taste, as disgusting as that sounded. Though, it was not hard to, since my nonexistent taste buds were overflowing in flavor. A rich fudge like flavor mixed with a little bit of sour and bitter taste flowed into me, almost making me feel like someone poured a half a dozen energy shots into my stomach.

Watching the black blob keeping to the far side of the room, I considered my situation. Number one: I was in some mysterious white space. Number two: I was some floating blob like thing made up of only God knew what. Number three: My 'friend' on the other side of the room was the same. Number Four: Both he and I seemed to be able to 'consume' the other. Logic had a way of simplifying things. Also, I forgot to add the last thing that was relevant. I was bigger than my counterpart.

So, in the time honored traditions of high schools everywhere, I decided to be the bully. “Hey, amigo, you forgot to pay me today's tax.” I wasn't exactly good at it, since in high school, I was the regular kid, who pretty much existed but wasn't really involved in any set social group.

However, amazingly, my new 'friend' seemed to be scared as 'he' began screaming. “Stay away! Stay away! I Neduzar Arcuz Marruz Vallazar Methrallan will never....” His words kind of broke off as I hit him in what I thought was his 'guts,' not forgetting to take a bite in the process. “Aggghhhh!” So, followed a game of cat and mouse, though I thought it more resembled a game of Pac-Man gone wrong.

After a while, he stopped even resisting or moving. What was left the former mighty Nebuz something or another seemed pretty tragic. Even I, who had been responsible for things, felt somewhat sorry for him. Especially since, he wasn't exactly making sense anymore. “I aga gooo Neduuuu cana booz...” Sighing, I decided to finish him off, not wanting let him suffer anymore.

When I was done, with a nonexistent 'burp,' I looked around, wondering if anything was going to change. Almost like it was responding to my thoughts, the room around me started to collapse, shrinking around me, making me feel like some roach about to be squished. “Fuck! Not exactly what I was expecting!”

I didn't exactly get much chance to struggle as the walls closed in around me, and I was hit by a massive headache, followed by what I could only describe as someone pouring a gallon of information into my head using a straw. It went on and on, with me literally losing consciousness somewhere in the middle.

Damn it! Shit! Cursing, I came to for the second time, wondering if the black blob bastard had set some kind of trap or if it had just been my punishment for indulging in too much gastronomic pleasure. Though, when I opened my 'eyes' this time around, I found myself somewhere completely different. A massive hall spread out before me lit by some weird torches lining the walls, casting a sickly yellow light. Before me, the floor of the hall was literally covered in a sea of white and gray bones and skulls, with metallic scrap and rotten wood scattered in it. I was at one far end of the hall, surrounded by a little more interesting looking fallen skeletons that were dressed in beautifully crafted armor, both of the heavy and light varieties. A handful of exquisite looking weapons, most likely belonging to these poor bastards, also surrounded them, with one particularly sticking out.

Though, to be honest, the intricately engraved spear with all sorts of dull, cracked gems was literally sticking out of my chest. I looked down at my chest or what I thought was my chest, since all that was there was a crushed sternum, graying bones, and a black and white ball of fire that seemed to be glowing inside my rib cage. What the fuck? The words echoed in my mind, making me realize that I was not actually speaking. Rubbing my jaw, all I 'felt' was something hard. What scared me even more was that my hands and arms were literally bones, though the bling I was wearing on my fingers definitely looked like some expensive shit. Even the massive throne like thing I was seated on was covered in what looked like gold and gems of all kinds.

Around then, I realized I had a lot more memories in my head of things that I had never done: swearing revenge against my fellow mages, burning down the Athis Mage Tower after years of planning, finding the key to immortality, raising an army of the dead, terrorizing the local kingdoms, killing the dragon overlord of Mount Calesta, and spreading noxious gas in a building full of people. Wait. Stroking my bony jaw, I remembered that the last thing was something that I did do. Accidentally breaking a shelf stocked full of various chemicals in glass containers unfortunately wasn't a pleasant experience.

However, the rest of it, along with a whole truck load of memories poured through my mind, and I realized something somewhat unsettling. I was a lich. To be specific, I was a lich named Neduzar Arcuz something or another, I did do those insane sounding things, and I was not on earth anymore. Rubbing my skeletal hands on my no doubt bony face, I muttered internally, Fucking LARPers.