“He wants what?”

“You read that report right Lieutenant.”

“How is he even… Does that…”

Lieutenant Xar’usk was rubbing his forearms together, a sure sign of perplexity in the Kmigar. His voice trailed off, mandibles clicking distractedly as he imagined why Human could require something like that.

“Captain, I need to check our stores. I think I have something that fits the description but not the species, if you know what I mean.”

“No, I don’t know what you mean Lieutenant.”

Xar’usk clicked his mandibles in reprimand. Never one to have a laugh, this captain. “I mean to say, the material is certainly tear-resistant but it was not adapted for use by Human. I need to contact Major Nimson. I will report back on the success of my endeavour.”

Xar’usk cut the comm off before he could hear the Captain’s customary gripe about her fellow Agaraxian. Why does Human even need this suit? It’s not like he’s going to go into combat… Unless… this has to do with the lieutenant’s condition. Tear-resistant would fit given her tendency to resort to clawing in moments of high stress.

Xar’usk camly brought up the specs of what he had in mind while also checking the ship stores for any spare suit. His thin, nimble hands manipulated two consoles at once, compound eyes focused on each at the same time. Multi-tasking was rarely a skill neglected by the curious Kmigar and made them highly efficient.

There it is; nanomesh exosuit innerwear. Displays all the characteristics that Human requires. A bit of overkill for his use but it’s the best I have on short notice. He glanced at the wall chronometer. Roughly four cycles had passed since the onset of Lieutenant Sil Nubo’s mating frenzy. I should be getting some good data. I can’t wait to cut Human up and see what’s inside him.

A comm chime brought him back from fantasies of dissections and strange xenos species. Major Nimson was hailing.

“Salutations Major Nimson. I see you got my message. You must have queries.”

“You’re right I do. Why in the name of The Nine do you need a discarded exo-in? I’m not complaining but it’s a damn strange request.”

“Oh no, it’s not for me. You remember Human? The guest we picked up a while ago? It’s for him.”

“Human? That scrawny thing isn’t going to fit in that, you know that. Besides, why does he need a combat-grade innerwear and why are we giving it to him? Why do you need a damaged one? Does he not have genitals in the normal places? I mean, that hole is pretty big and I’m sure making a new one is more viable than fixing a broken one.”

“Questions, so many questions! Major if the Captain hasn’t told you, then you may consider this matter need-to-know only. It is quite sensitive information that I cannot tell you right now. Perhaps when some time passes we can meet at the Commons and discuss this most… strange being we have picked up,” Xar’usk chittered. “In the meantime, would you be so kind as to send me the exo-in at the soonest so I may get on with my task?”

“Sure, sure. But I expect some answers from you Xar’usk. You’ll not ply me with sweet shollom and make me forget the matter. And tell your captain I don’t appreciate being kept out of the loop. If there’s a situation that needs combat-grade ordinance, then I should be made aware too,” Nimson grumbled.

“I’ll be waiting for your package then,” Xar’usk briskly said, cutting off the comm. Major Nimson did tend to get long-winded when it came to Captain Echina. Must be that Rinvi-Umdyn clan rivalry.

Xar’usk busied himself with the innerwear’s requested design, putting the measurements in the military-grade dispenser’s synthesis matrix. He was clicking his mandibles idly in what humans would equate to a sing-song manner when AI informed him that Ensign Vytrikx was approaching with his package.

“Ah, excellent. Let me see,” he said, holding the battered innerwear up. It was ripped and had holes in many places. There was a huge gash at the crotch level, courtesy of those pesky Almikue eater-plants. Xar’usk silently mourned the departed members of the security team. He then stuffed the nanomesh mess into the dispenser input rack. His eight fingers flew across the command console and the machine swiftly prepared Human’s required apparel.

Xar’usk was still hammering away on the console, analysing the data from the most recent coupling of Lieutenant Sil Nubo and Human. It was fascinating, so fascintating! The hormonal changes in the Lieutenant were nothing short of astounding. Her whole system was going into overdrive, which would explain her insistence with Human. His genetic material – stored in spermatozoa – consisted of twenty three chromosomes but they seemed… incomplete.

Xar’usk was puzzled. What manner of reproductive system was this? Was Human similar to the Aellag? Did he have to undergo binary fission to produce offspring? No, no that wasn’t possible, his entire physiology was ill-suited for such a thing.

So many questions, so little time. I could solve all this by cutting him up, but noooo. We can’t damage the Captain’s precious debriefing specimen. Xar’usk clicked his mandibles in frustration until AI signalled him that the modified nanomesh innerwear was ready. I should go deliver it in person. It’ll make for a nice change and maybe I can observe the mating in closer details. Scans probably missed minute details.

* * *

And so it was that Lieutenant Xar’usk found himself outside a diplomatic cabin listening to what appeared, to the casual listener, to be a life and death fight. He could hear the lieutenant’s shrill screeches and occasional hisses and yowls, followed almost immediately by Human’s screams. He sometimes sounded in pain, sometimes not. It was a mixed blessing that they didn’t have any other ambassadors on board. They’d surely have complained about the noise.

He was undecided. Should he just drop the package off and go? Leave without even attempting to investigate the curious mating ritual? As a being of science, he could not condone that! But the sounds were turning more bestial, more brutal even and he wasn’t sure he wanted to put himself in there with those two.

In the end curiosity won and he entered his security override on the wall panel, entered the cabin and witness chaos.

* * *

The entire cabin was trashed. The desk was laden with scratches and the sparse furniture was thrown haphazardly all around the room. There were patches of wet material of various sizes all over the walls and the soft synthmoss carpet. Xar’usk gingerly stepped in and waited for his hosts to acknowledge him.

It didn’t work.

Lieutenant Sil Nubo – usually so reserved (at least in his eyes), enthusiastic only at the prospect of dissections – was now like a primordial she-beasts from the annals of the Dintph history holos. Human was fighting her off valiantly, holding her arms behind her back and screaming as she savagely bit his shoulder. His hips wouldn’t stop moving though. A muscular spasm perhaps? Xar’usk could not understand it. Was this bizarre scene a pre-mating ritual?

He held up the suit and waited. He waited a long time. The human had thrown the diminutive Dintph on his bed and was once again assaulting her with his hips. This continued until they both screamed very loudly then lay still. The suit was still held up for display in his hands.

Lieutenant Sil Nubo rolled off and appeared to have almost immediately fallen asleep while Human got off and ran to the lavatory. The sound of dry heaving filled the air. Must be the side effects. How fascinating. Did they finish mating? I couldn’t see properly. Next time I’ll bring a holocorder.

Xar’usk idly noted the blood splashed all over the bed and most of the walls. It had ended on the ceiling too. He clicked his mandibles in appreciation. Few species truly understood the notion of bloodletting but it seems that Human was a true artist. He would have to meet him in a more private setting and discuss the various cuts he enjoyed. Maybe they were kindred spirits?

Human returned, looking quite haggard since the last time he’d seen him. There were deep bags under his eyes, scratches everywhere with rivulets of blood running down his arms, back and chest. He could also see myriad bite marks all over Human’s dirty, sticky-looking body. His mandibles clicked in appreciation. He didn’t know Lieutenant Sil Nubo would be so territorial, marking her mate like that. He must have just mated, Xar’usk realised. His data on humans suggested they would not release this amount of fluids under normal circumstances.

Human still did not acknowledge him. He staggered to the dispenser, grabbed a medical gel patch and carefully applied it to his crotch. He immediately sighed in contentment and set about to apply more patches on his sorry-looking body. He then grabbed a container, drained its contents into his mouth and sharply exhaled. When he turned around still holding the container and saw Xar’usk, his eyes widened and he froze.

“When the fuck did you get here?”

* * *

Xar’usk underestimated how vigorous the Lieutenant could be while mating; Human was entirely drained and lifeless when he was done. His body was covered in patches and he still winced from remnant pain. He had righted the ambassador-standard gel-chair and was sprawled on it, sipping an exotic-smelling brown drink. A vial of Coxizu virility serum was clutched in one hand.

Mandibles clicking in disapproval, Xar’usk explained how he had refitted a nanomesh exosuit innerwear for Human’s uses. The nanomesh fitted him perfectly, covering his body from ankles to wrists and collarbone. A dull mixture of grey and black reinforced threads with smooth patches at the joints to allow for easy movement, the exosuit innerwear was worn under the combat armor the Agaraxian Ground Forces routinely used. Xar’usk now understood why Human needed this kind of protection after witnessing the almost barbaric nature of their coupling.

“Does it match what you imagined?”

Human stood up, stretching and checking the range of motion. Quite a sensible fellow. He bent down, touching his toes, got back up and bent backwards, eliciting a curious crack. It seemed to come from his back.

“Yeah, it’s great. And you’re sure this will protect me from Sil’s nails?”

“Of course. This is military-grade material we’re talking about here. It should withstand anything short of a Chachiss scythe-hand and we’re not likely to find that here, are we?” His mandibles clicked in good humour.

“Great, great.” Human put a hand between his legs, adjusting his reproductive organ. The nanomesh sported a huge open hole where his crotch was. He now understood that this was meant to allow his reproductive organ to have contact with the Lieutenant. There was a curious sack dangling underneath his organ. When asked, Human only said it was his family’s heirloom. So many mysteries.

“So you didn’t get any trouble from the captain? I mean, you just said this is military-grade stuff. I wouldn’t normally give that to a civilian, let alone an alien who basically hitch-hiked his way onto your ship.”

“It was no problem. I was able to acquire a damaged nanomesh and fix it to your specifications. It was going to be recycled anyway, so giving it to you was not difficult.”

“Cool. So listen, I know you’ve got tons of questions but I’ve been timing how long she sleeps between bouts and I can tell you she’s gonna wake up soon. I don’t have much time so if you have anything important to ask, now is the time.”

Human wasn’t lying, he could see the lieutenant stir on top of the bed, tail randomly lashing left and right. At the moment though, he couldn’t think of any of the questions he had over the course of his analysis.

“Can I watch?” he blurted out.

Human arched an eyebrow (Such delicate muscle control!) and leaned back on his gel-chair. “Mate, that’s something you only ask when you’re good friends with the parties involved.”

“Apologies, I didn’t mean to overstep.”

“Nah, it’s cool. I get why you want to do that. I’d be curious too,” he said, widening his lips and displaying his front teeth. A curious action. He’d have to ask about that too. He glanced behind him, saw his partner stir awake and got up.

“Well, thanks a lot for this suit. If it works as advertised, this mating frenzy business will be a breeze!”

“Glad to help. You will keep me informed as usual?” Xar’usk asked with a hopeful click of his mandibles.

“Sure man. All for science, right?” He turned back, grabbing the vial of virility serum. “Off you go now, I have things to do. Dragons to slay.”

A curious turn of phrase to be sure but Xar’usk did not want to overstay his welcome. He was about to exit the cabin when he turned and had a final look.

Lieutenant Sil Nubo had eyes only for Human and was on her haunches, looking like a predator about to pounce. Human put the vial to his neck and pressed the release trigger. After a short hiss, he threw it away in a corner of the cabin.

“Let’s see how you like a fair fight, bitch!”