《One Man's Journey》Chapter 68
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After Segen had left to start his own life, there was nothing that came to disturb Adam from his purification. Many lonely years passed for Adam as he constantly gazed out into the horizon. He thought of his family, of Segen's family. He pondered his place in the world. For what possible reason could a person like him exist? The goal was so close now, but what was the goal even for anymore? He initially didn't want to waste the life he was given in grief over his fate, so he pursued the purification of his body. In the end, though, what was the purpose of purifying the death essence from his body? Spend his remaining years with Segen and his family? Go back to Hessler and the descendants of his family that lived there? Those who might still remember Adam from his family would be very old or almost all dead. Adam didn't dare to go back to Hessler, as he felt it would almost be like flaunting the fact that he had left his family and friends, but yet lived for so long, before the their very graves!
A total of thirty seven years passed since Adam had first come to the volcano with Segen. Adam sat on the volcano itself with a whirlwind of fire essence surrounding him. The heat from it caused distortions in the air and was almost comparable to a blazing fire! Adam suddenly stirred and the whirlwind swept itself away. Adam had a confused expression on his face. “I can no longer purify. I feel that my purification is complete, but why do I still have death essence in my bones!?”
Adam focused his elemental sight on his body, wondering if he could find some answer as to why this was the case. His entire goal for the last fifty or sixty years was to purify all the death essence from his body! How could he possibly stop just short of finally reaching this goal!? He could no longer push any more death essence from his body and even trying to mix death essence with the other types of spirit essence to whisk it away with a formation would not actually help him to eliminate the death essence from his body. It would simply leave a cavity that his body would only fill with the same type of spirit essence he had spent.
After a long time of searching, nothing he saw could help him determine why he was stopped from fully purifying his body. His bones were full of all the different types of spirit essence; fire, earth, water, wind, death, and even the life essence that had initially been used to displace most of the death essence in his body by the spirit of life long ago. “I have all the other types, why can't I reach a natural balance!?.... natural balance?”
Adam scooped up some dirt and looked at it. The land all around was filled with fire and death essence in addition to the normal earth essence. Yet there was also that dormant life essence that existed within! Adam had no idea how this life essence could exist like this, but there it was! And this... was a form of natural balance! As unbalanced as a volcano might seem, there had to be a reason for its existence. A reason for the existence of all the places full of spirit essence. Adam had merely been believing that the natural balance for his body would mean the elimination of pretty much all the death essence in his body. He would still retain some, as every person will slowly accumulate death essence in their body as they grow old. The death essence in his body was far more than what a person would accumulate over a lifetime, but it was clearly in balance with all the other types of spirit essence too! It was simply a different state of balance than Adam had initially thought he was going to achieve.
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Adam went back to his hut and slowly started packing some things up. If he was truly done, then it was time to leave the volcano and head to Frieden. Adam couldn't help but worry over one thing, though. The remaining death essence in his body was purer than ever and if any of it got out it would be very deadly to anyone present around him. Surely applying a film of spirit essence was not the true solution to this problem. The death essence that was still in his bones was being pressed down upon by the other types of spirit essence. The spirit essence was not especially working together in harmony, since they were mostly separated into their various types with only a minimal amount of interaction with one another. Adam started thinking: “What if I instead diluted the death essence into the other types of spirit essence? Mix it all together so that if any escapes out, it won't be pure death essence!”
Before, Adam would have been reluctant to even try this approach. He would normally think of death essence as completely evil or domineering. It even screamed for blood whenever Adam desired to kill someone himself! However, for as much bad as Adam saw in death essence, it was somehow needed in the world. In someway, it completes a balance with the other types of spirit essence.
Adam paused in his packing to sit down and experiment. In a similar manner as when he fought the martial artist that was trying to kill Segen, Adam began to weave threads of death essence into the other types of spirit essence! At first, things went smoothly. Just mixing the death essence with a single type of spirit essence was pretty simple. However, Adam needed to dilute the death essence within all of the spirit essence in his body, which included all the different types of spirit essence. It was difficult enough to try and weave everything together at once, but it all started fighting Adam's attempt too! The spirit essence was normally settled and didn't cause much trouble with one another. As soon as he tried to intentionally mix them, though, they started clashing with one another! Fire was typically incompatible with water and the same was true with wind and earth. The spirit essence simply did not want to cooperate with one another in the manner that Adam wanted them to!
After a small while, Adam stopped trying to weave the spirit essence together and let them settle naturally back into their places. Adam was panting and slightly sweaty at this point. The spirit essence was clashing inside his body and it was almost like his body was being attacked from the inside! If Adam was not carefully and let the spirit essence go out of control, he could easily be killed!
After resting for a few minutes, Adam began thinking of the problems that arose when he tried to mix the spirit essence together. He knew it was possible, he just needed to find the correct balance! The perfect example was once again the ground around the volcano. Adam could pick out the death essence, fire essence, earth essence, and the dormant life essence but it was actually all mixed together! While the different types of essences existed on their own, they were clearly mixed together in some type of harmony. Adam had to achieve something similar to dilute the death essence in his bones with the rest of the spirit essence in his body.
Adam finished packing what he needed and headed out the next day. He was no longer confined to the volcano and Adam would rather try to figure things out while staying with Segen. Adam could still use the film of spirit essence in the mean time, but he hoped that SILU would allow him to view books on studies about the interaction between spirit essence that could help him achieve the balance he sought with the spirit essence in his body.
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Adam visited Korrin on his way through. It was very refreshing to see and talk to people after a long time of isolation. The noise was very offsetting, but it was nice to once again interact with others. Through his time at the volcano, he would come and visit every now and then. Adam was not stout enough to actually spend his whole time up on the volcano. After spending a few days at Korrin and truly supplying himself for the trip to Frieden, Adam went on his way.
A few months later, Adam found himself walking into Frieden. It was a large and bustling city that was surrounded by walls and protected by guards, much like any its size. It wasn't nearly as grand as a capitol city, but the Frieden had its own splendor.
The first thing Adam did when he got into Frieden was to inquire where the SILU institute was. The best way to find Segen was going to be through them. It didn't take Adam too long to find the institute. The institute in this city was actually larger than the one the Hessler! It was big enough to have a proper campus so it seemed to house a fair amount of spiritualists while giving them room to do various experiments while still teaching classes of varying levels. They didn't only teach children, they also taught spiritualists themselves! This was a place Adam might have gone to if he had become an orthodox spiritualist, since Hessler's institute was only designed to guide children into becoming spiritualists.
There was a small bustle through the campus itself, but it was not very busy. Adam managed to flag someone down; “Hey, I am looking for a spiritualist named Segen. Do you know where I might find him?”
“Do you mean professor Segen? I think he's right over there!”
Before the man had even finished talking, Adam had already turned around with surprise. Segen was a small distance away and was mixed in with a crowd that had just come out of a building, so Adam had not been able to see him right away. Segen had suddenly broken away, though, when he saw Adam. Segen looked older, but he still had the spry step of a young man. Segen quickly trotted up while exclaiming: “Uncle Adam, is that really you!?”
“Get over here, you little rascal!” Adam said while walking over and giving Segen a hug. It had been too long since they had last seen each other. Segen returned Adam's hug, with two arms no less! The first thing Adam inquired was about this: “Segen, your arm...”
With a wild grin, Segen lifted up the sleeve to his arm, revealing shiny metal underneath! “Pretty cool, isn't it? This is a metal prosthesis that earth spiritualists can use! It has formations engraved at the joints that I use to control the arm!”
Segen started showing off his arm. It was slower than his real arm and not nearly as deft, but it was still an arm nonetheless! Segen then asked: “What about you uncle? I imagine your purification went well?”
“Let's find a proper place where we can talk, before going any further.” Adam replied.
Segen directly took Adam to his home, which was a small distance off campus. It couldn't quite compare to the house Adam had bought in Hessler, but it was still a splendid house. Annette hadn't aged quite as well as Segen. She did not have the benefit of being a spiritualist, after all. They were still clearly in love, though, and it didn't seem that age would ever change that. Segen and Annette actually had five children! They all lived on their own now and many of them even had kids of their own! Adam felt very happy that Segen was able to lead a life as fulfilling as this.
Adam and Segen spent the time to catch up on pretty much everything that had happened after they parted. “So, you are a professor?” Adam asked.
Segen gave a small laugh: “That is an over glorified title. I am only qualified enough to teach novices who have just become spiritualists. I don't mind, though. After having a few kids with Annette, I really came to love watching over them. Now stop trying to change the subject! You still haven't really told me the result of your purification at the volcano! Is it finally complete?”
Adam finally stopped avoiding the subject and told Segen that the purification didn't end like Adam was originally thinking. Segen was surprised. For Segen, Adam had pretty much been correct in everything he had thought or said. For Adam to have been wrong was very surprising indeed.
Adam asked Segen about being allowed access to SILU's library and it seemed like it would all be a simple matter. There was more than enough room in the house, so Segen had Adam settle in. This started a long and peaceful time for Adam. For close to five years, he spent time with Segen and his family. It was very different from his time in seclusion at the volcano. Segen's children would often visit with Segen's grandchildren in tow. Adam was able to spend a joyous time getting to know them all and interacting with them. Sometimes he would think of Emilia and Helen, whom he had left back in Hessler and how he wished he had spend more time with them like this.
Adam was able to get a lot of studying done, but hardly any of it was able to help him with his problem of mixing the spirit essence together. Most of the materials described each type of spirit essence on their own and how they generally reacted with others. There were not too many studies done on how the different types of spirit essence coexisted with one another. Most of what was written down were just examples of something in the world but was not fully understood by the authors and so hardly any real information trickled its way down to Adam. Much of the studies Adam read would eventually refer to strange mixtures of spirit essence, like what was found at the volcano, as a deviation of normal spirit essence and therefore could not be understood. There were no further attempts to understand the deviation, since most researchers were unable to make any kind of progress in understanding why deviations exist in the first place. Adam was still left to ponder on his problem mostly on his own.
For as much trouble as his studies were giving him, Adam was partially excited. He was treading ground in a place where no one else had. If he could finally come to an answer and create a true balance in mixing his spirit essence, Adam felt that there would be a large change! Adam didn't know what this change was, but it surely wouldn't be a bad one. It gave him a new goal to strive towards that was equal to or greater in difficulty than purifying his body!
Adam was trying to relax after stressing his brain in trying to find a way to balance the spirit essence. For fun, he started throwing his elemental sight around to just look at things. At one point, his sight passed over Annette who was gardening. Adam paused as he watched what she was doing. There were a few dead plants that she was digging out and then throwing into a pile. The pile had a fair amount of death essence in it from the dead plants, but at the same time it had dormant life essence gathering within the pile!
Suddenly curious, Adam got up and went to Annette. “Annette, what are you doing?”
Annette gave a start as she said: “Wha? Oh, Adam. Heh, you gave me a little startle there! I am gardening, of course.”
“Oh, let me be more specific; what is that pile and why are you throwing all the dead plants in it?”
Annette gave Adam a curious look. “It is called composting. Basically, you throw dead things in there and they decompose. After that, they somehow make a good soil to grow things from! I don't know the specifics of why, it's just how it is!”
Adam once again gave a curious stare at this 'compost' “Death helping life?”
For the next few days, Adam stayed home. With his elemental sight, he was continually watching the compost heap! If anyone knew he was staying home to watch the compost, they would probably laugh at him. Yet this was a critical example of a 'deviation'! Death somehow making way for more life. Death essence was supposed to just bring about death and decay. There is no room for it to help life, yet this compost pile is an example of it helping life!
After those few days, Adam's constant observation bore fruit! Adam watched as the death essence caused the plants to start to decay and yet somehow life essence started collecting around it! The life essence and death essence did not start acting against one another, which they normally would. Instead, the life essence was just passively joining the decaying mass that the death essence was leaving behind. Finally, the death essence started to recede away from the compost and the life essence grew stronger!
Realization finally dawned on Adam: “It is a cycle!”
Normally, spirit essence is not thought of in ratios. You can have a lot of spirit essence or just a little spirit essence, but hardly anyone has talked about spirit essence receding so that another could take its place. Truthfully, though, even Adam's purification was an example of a cycle! Yet, he had not even thought of it. Balance didn't just simply occur by making sure an equal amount of spirit essence was present at all times. Rather, it was about the right amount of each type of spirit essence at the right time. A little bit of this, a little bit of that, and a heck of a lot of that! And yet, it could still reach a type of balance even though the amount is not balanced!
Adam felt incredibly stupid for not thinking of this earlier. Even music had its crescendos and decrescendos. But it was also more than that. If Adam was to liken the way he needed to balance the spirit essence to music, it would be far more than making certain types loud while others were quiet. It would also be about not having all the instruments play at the same time in addition to that. It would be like normally he would have four trumpets play all the time with the band, but maybe he only needed two to play and it would be even better than four!
Adam turned his thoughts to the elemental essence in his body. Before even trying to do anything, he listened and watched them. How they presently interacted and their strengths and their weaknesses. He thought of a few ways he could finally mix them before starting.
Adam formed a cycling song. Fire grew as water receded. Wind grew as earth receded. Both fire and water could mix well with either wind or earth. But they really did not like being mixed three at a time. Death essence slowly permeated through everything while Adam watched reactions from the life essence within him. He still did not know how to control life essence like he could with the other types, so he could only ensure that if the life essence in his body suddenly wanted to join in that he accommodated for it appropriately. Everything harmoniously joined together to form a song unlike anything Adam had thought of before! In fact, it gotten to the point where Adam did not even have to direct the spirit essence! They fell into a simple flow that matched what he wanted! Adam could also tell that there was almost no leakage of spirit essence from his body! Even if a little did escape, only a diluted amount of death essence would be within it. It would be completely harmless! He had finally achieved what he wanted!
A feeling welled up within Adam. There was joy, but also something more! He could tell the way he mixed the spirit essence together was not perfect, but it was on the cusp of something grand! If before spirit essence was something foreign that Adam had learned to control, it was now as though his very life being extended throughout the spirit essence in his body! He felt truly connected to the spirit essence in his body for the first time since he had come to possess it! And he knew, this was only the beginning!
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