A soft beam of sunlight revealed the dust particles floating peacefully in the air. But the constant clacking of shoes against the stone floor was anything but peaceful in the small room. Lazarus was walking to his bed, then to the window and then to the door. Back and forth and cycling between the objects as he was deep in thought.

Long ago, Lazarus wondered. What could a manaless kid like himself do? He had thought and thought but never came up with a conclusion.

There were so many things that happened that he eventually forgot about this question. Emilia was always there for him, Reisha too. So naturally, Lazarus just thought that no matter what the future held, he would be alright.

But now…

Lazarus paced around his room. He wondered how Reisha was and at the same time, if his father was home. If he was, he was dead meat. He could only imagine the horrors that man would do to him.

He clutched his head and ducked down.

“I told her she shouldn’t have drank that! Why!? Argh!”

It has been days, he was tired and yet he couldn’t sleep.

The sense of apprehension kept him awake late at night and if he did manage to sleep, he’d wake up screaming after some nightmare. How was he going to get out of this one? Reisha, the crown princess, is sick because of him.

Veyron would kill him. Big sister Anastasia would probably cheer Veyron on. As for Clovis, he would probably just stare at him from a distance.

Wait…

What about Emilia? Surely she would not allow that to happen.

Emilia had always protected him. Was always there for him. She would stand-up for him…

Lazarus stopped walking and stared at the stone floor.

Emilia would… At least from his memory. Lazarus frowned. What would Emilia do really? He recalled that Emilia had stood-up for him a few times, but he could only remember the fact but not actually the act itself.

Was it because it was so long? Had being locked away for years made his memories of his mother start to fade?

Lazarus tried recalling a few things, but most of them were of Reisha… If it was Reisha, she’d never want anything to happen to him, he was sure of it. But what about Emilia?

Lazarus had read Emilia’s letters.

They were always filled with loving words.

Always assuring him that she thought about him everyday.

So…she would surely-...

Why? Why is it that no matter how much Lazarus told himself that Emilia would protect him, he couldn’t bring himself to truly believe it.

Before, when he’d think about Emilia it was enough to assure him. But now…?

Lazarus looked down to the stone cold floor.

It’s been two years since he last saw Emilia. Not once-...not a single time did Emilia ever come to see him. It was always Reisha who’d come to him, to always beam him a smile whenever he felt his heart dark and clouded.

Lazarus glanced at the letters sticking out from underneath his bed. It had made him happy when he first read them, but as time went on, he could no longer feel anything from them whenever he thought -’Then why aren’t you here with me? Why won’t you come to see me if you truly say that you love me and that you’ve missed me?’-

At that time, Lazarus had always tried to push the thought away, telling himself that Emilia was just afraid of getting sick… But he couldn’t help but think back to the moment when he’d eventually asked Reisha if she was afraid of him.

Reisha looked at him and said,

“I am afraid that my magic will be taken from me…” She admitted and Lazarus in his twisted mind immediately thought ‘-Ah, so she’s just like the rest of them-’

“But-...”

Lazarus looked to Reisha who put a hand to her chest and was giving him an anxious look.

“I am more afraid to not see you… When I woke up one day, and went to your room, you were gone. I searched everywhere for you, and I could not find you… I hated that feeling… I hated it.”

Her hands began trembling. And Lazarus could only look at Reisha with widened eyes.

At that moment, he recalled that he meant more to Reisha than her magic. Reisha had told him the very first time she found him, and yet, how could he forget?

At that point, Lazarus swore to himself never to think like that again as it would be rude to Reisha.

Lazarus looked at the letters. Instead of them being proof that Emilia loved him, it had become proof that she was more afraid of him.

The last time he began infecting anyone, he was shoved into this room. Now that he infected the crown princess, what was to become of him?

If Emilia would not stand up for him… then-... he was as good as a goner. Veyron backed-handed him over a vase. Now? He got Reisha, the crown princess, sick. Lazarus shuddered at the thought of what the King would do to him.

Just thinking about it made his heart beat in arrays he couldn’t understand. His arms felt cold and he just stared at the door hoping nobody would come in.

Would anyone care if he was punished harshly by Veyron?

-’Lara..?’- He thought for a moment, but smiled sarcastically when he realized she was long gone. She’d left him many years ago. Why did he think of her? It was down right stupid of him.

What about Emilia? Lazarus shook his head. Maybe she would… He wasn’t really sure but she was all he had. Maybe the letters were not proof of her reluctance to see him, but more of a proof that she always thought of him as she had always made sure to send them everyday without fail.

Maybe…

One thing was for certain–one thing he could remember clearly was the words Emilia spoke to him long ago.

“Don’t worry, my child. Mother will always be here for you….I promise”

*Knock-knock-knock*

Lazarus looked to the door and dread filled his heart.

Falon entered the room and Lazarus felt a sort of numbness swallowing him.

“Excuse me young prince.” Falon said, pointing a finger at Lazarus and muttering something quickly under his breath. A blue film of light engulfed Lazarus who hurriedly asked,

“W-what’s this? Why-?”

“You’re to meet someone.”

“A-am I going to be punished?? I never meant for this to happen-.. I–”

Falon just snickered in response and the mana barrier began hovering in mid air, surprising Lazarus for a bit but when he realized it was the same trick Falon used to bring him here, he calmed down. It was insurance to prevent him from infecting anyone.

Falon began walking out and stopped at the door. He muttered something under his breath once more and the barrier to the room broke.

Where was Falon taking him?

Hopefully not to Veyron. Just remember those big rugged hands of his and what it would do to Lazarus was haunting him. He got slapped across the room for breaking a vase. What more infecting the crown princess?

Lazarus opened his mouth, but stopped when he saw Falon’s solemn expression.

He could tell when Falon didn’t want to talk. After all, he was the only one Lazarus saw for two years besides Reisha. And this advisor would always refuse to respond and just stay quiet when Lazarus asked things he wasn’t supposed to.

After floating for a while, Lazarus was surprised where Falon brought him. It’s been years since he last saw this place. A melancholic feeling washed over him.

“The palace gardens….”

This is where he would play with Emilia. Where he used to sit down on her lap as she told him stories. He missed this place. He missed Emilia.

Why was he brought here? Maybe…

Anxiousness filled his heart once more as he realized. If it was Veyron who would meet him then he was as good as dead. No, even worse than death.. Maybe–

The grass crunched from behind and when Falon turned the mana barrier, Lazarus was spun with it and there he saw.

A woman wearing a navy blue semi-transparent mantle that displayed a bit of her slender shoulder. A one piece sleeveless white dress that fit her body to reveal her figure eight curves. Long lustrous black hair that gave him a gentle gaze and a calm restrained smile.

But she had deep dark bags under her soft ice blue eyes. She seemed to be tired.

“Lazarus, it’s been a while.” Emilia said as she continued to approach Lazarus who was just stunned and staring. “I’ve missed you…” she said softly and was trying to hold back the shakiness off her voice.

“Mom…? ” Lazarus muttered. He wanted to run to her arms but at the same time, he was afraid. What if she’d suddenly shove him off in fear of his disease? No wait-... He looked at the blue film of light that was around him. He couldn’t go to her, even if he wanted to…but, it calmed him to a degree knowing Emilia won’t shove him off as he couldn’t even go to her to begin with.

Lazarus stood up, and Falon hastily poured more mana to expand the barrier so Lazarus wouldn’t hit his head and he let his feet touch the ground.

“I’ve missed you so much…” Emilia said softly. And Lazarus alternated between looking at her and the ground in rapid succession.

It’s been so long…

Lazarus could feel himself being overwhelmed and tears welled-up in his eyes. He just wanted to run to her. He wanted to hug her. Just feel Emilia’s embrace once more… but he couldn’t.

Seeing this, Emilia put a palm over her lips, her eyes becoming watery as she leaned against the barrier, surprising Falon. Lazarus hesitated and took a step back.

Falon just looked away. It was fine as long as the barrier was between them.

“Haven’t you missed me too..?” Emilia asked, she tried to keep her voice even but wasn’t doing very well. She’d never thought the child she loved so much would be showing fear for her.

Emilia was red-eyed, and yet forcing a smile.

Lazarus began breathing faster. Somehow he could feel something was amiss. He ignored Emilia’s question and asked, “How’s Reisha..?” If she was fine then, perhaps Emilia came to finally see him. Expectantly he waited for Emilia who looked to Falon who pursed his lips and ever so gently shook his head.

“We have sent people to get the last of the white fox clan. She’ll be coming over to heal Reisha and she’s the best of the best! So Reisha is in good hands. We also sent some people to negotiate with the elves and hopefully get them to agree to let us purchase an Azalea flower.” Emilia reassured him.

But instead, it just sounded like they were avoiding telling him. In that case, then Reisha was unwell… which meant…

“Let’s not talk about that.” Emilia said softly, “I wanted to spend some time with you so–” she stood up and walked to the small table where she would always sit while Lazarus played. Falon followed suit and lifted the barrier. Emilia sat down on the chair and placed Lazarus on the chair across Emilia.

Lazarus felt a twist on his heart while he just stared at Emilia. He could feel something coming.

“I remember you showing me a beautiful Seiren flower. Ahaha-..” Emilia giggled and looked to the distance, recalling a memory. “You were so excited to see it glow and thought it was special.”

Where was she going with this?

Emilia seemed to misunderstand Lazarus’ grimace and gave him a reassuring smile, “It’s alright. You shouldn’t be embarrassed. Did you know Reisha thought that flowers could cast magic?”

“She did..?” He squeezed out the words, just trying to keep the conversation going.

“Yup! And–”

Emilia kept bringing memories of the past and Lazarus just responded with a few short words, just waiting and waiting for why he was really called here. He knows Emilia never came to see him and Reisha was still sick so it was definitely related to that.

But since it wasn’t Veyron then maybe… he wasn’t going to be punished as severely as he imagined?

Lazarus glanced quickly to Falon who just stood there like a stone–as if he wasn’t there.

It was already night time and Emilia still kept on talking.

“Ehem..” Falon coughed into his hands, upon noticing Emilia didn’t seem to take notice, he coughed harder. This seemed to stop Emilia and make her look to the ground and then to Falon.

“Mom..? Is something wrong?” Was this it? Lazarus felt his heart tighten in apprehension. And he clenched his fist under the table.

Emilia seemed to plead with Falon with her gaze however the advisor simply shook his head and lipped ’It’s time.’

Lazarus didn’t notice as he just stared at the silent Emilia, before his mother gave him a sad look.

“Laz…”

“Yes?”

“You know how I told you a healer would come for Reisha..?”

“Yes?”

“Uhmm..” Emilia seemed to hesitate, but continued. “In order to prepare for the healer’s arrival we’ve decided to transfer you somewhere else, for the time being…”

Lazarus just stared. He was right. He was right along… He knew it and yet it still hit him like a ton of bricks. Maybe-... just maybe he had hoped that Emilia would not agree to this-... that she would stand-up for him and yet…

Now that he knew for sure–Lazarus unconsciously released his clenched fist in resignation.

A tear welled up in the corner of his eye as he looked down trying to hide his face. While trying to suppress the ball in his throat, he forced himself to speak and ask, “Where..?”

Emilia glanced back and forth between Lazarus and Falon, and because Lazarus wasn’t looking at her he couldn’t see her uncertainty.

“Well, it’s where we put Reisha when we hid her from the public… B-but I will be visiting you sometime.”

“It’s to stop me from infecting the healer…right?” Lazarus said solemnly. He understood why…

“Yes-... and it’s to stop Reisha too from trying to find you… You know how she is.”

Lazarus clenched his fist, feeling a stinging in his heart. But he understood. “Yeah-.. She is stubborn.” he said.

It’s just-...he’d been locked up for two years. Why was it always him? He didn’t choose to have this disease. It’s always him being shoved into somewhere for everyone’s sake. He hated it but Emilia was telling him to go.

“Do I have to..?” He eventually let out. He hoped that Emilia would say no…that she’d want him to stay… It was his final and desperate attempt–a call for help from his mother.

And Emilia put a palm on the barrier over Lazarus’ lowered head.

“I’m sorry-...It’s the only way….”

“It’s always me isn’t it..?”

Emilia’s eyes widened. “I-it’s not like that-...”

“It is… it’s always like this. Why me..?”

“Lazarus-...please understand…”

Understand? He always had to understand… always him. Has anyone tried to understand him?? He had thought about this for years while being locked up but kept telling himself that this was for the best. That he was protecting everyone by being locked up there. He had to force the pain in his heart down many times over. And yet..!

“You are a kind child… You always have been.” Emilia said softly, “When I had a fever, you ran to me and snuggled with me on the bed and even wiped my forehead with a towel when I was asleep since you saw the maids doing it…. You have always been kind.”

Why? For some reason, even though his mother was complimenting him it felt like her words were cutting into his heart.

“That is why I ask that you find the kindness in your heart once more-... I ask that you understand that this is something we have to do…”

We..?

Lazarus jumped down from the chair and Falon followed where Lazarus was with his finger to allow the boy to move around. With a back turned to Emilia, he said in resignation.

“Alright… Where do I go..?”

“Laz…” Emilia approached him but Falon raised a hand to stop her. He didn’t want her going near the barrier again.

“Laz, Reisha is getting sicker and sicker everyday. We have no choice but to try and keep her from you, please understand….” Emilia pleaded.

So it was for Reisha. Yeah, everything was for that genius of a sister even though it wasn’t his fault. He clenched his fist. He had long since realized this fact, and yet he always thought that Emilia would at least look at him differently.

Lazarus always had a small nagging voice in his head over the years, telling him that if Emilia had to choose, she would choose Reisha in a heartbeat. It was right. He just didn’t listen.

Lazarus smiled sarcastically.

”So you want me gone… okay, if that’s what you want mom.”

“Laz!” Emilia shouted, standing up, “That’s not true! You have not seen how Reisha is, she is in pain and yet you’re being selfish right now!”

Reisha this, Reisha that. Lazarus felt something seethe in his stomach and the years of anger he held inside it felt like it was pouring out of him.

“What about me!? Why is it always Reisha or Anastasia or-..whatever! Why!? I never asked for this!!”

Emilia covered her mouth with a palm, never had she seen Lazarus like this.

At this point, he was already out of tears, but Lazarus could feel the ball in his throat. But with it came a burning sensation in his head.

“I’m sorry-... I know it’s been tough.” Emilia said gently, “But please-...”

“So you want me gone..?”

“No-.. of course that’s not the case…”

He was tired of it all. The maids who refused to acknowledge him, the Knights who would ignore him and Emilia who kept choosing everyone else besides him. He was honestly sick of it. He had always thought that one day she would look at him like he used to, but it was clear this was all for Reisha. None of it was for him.

He smiled sarcastically, and Emilia looked hurt seeing Lazarus make such a face.

“If that’s not the case why am I being stuffed into somewhere far away?”

Emilia seized up. Opening her mouth and closing, then she sighed. “Lazarus, you do not know what I’ve been dealing with these past few days.. I merely ask that you-...” She shook her head, “No-...we shall speak again when I visit you. I hope you will be willing to listen then…”

Lazarus shouted, “Fine!” He then looked to Falon. “Take me wherever it is I have to go. At least no one will be bothered where I’ll be!”

Falon nodded then gave Emilia a bow. “Then we shall be off your highness.” then raised his finger, lifting the barrier of Lazarus and he hovered along with it.

Emilia felt a ball in her throat. She wanted to waive him goodbye. To tell him that everything was going to be alright. And yet… She couldn’t bring herself too. She felt that she had no right… after being isolated for two years, she knew it was unfair but Reisha–as much as she didn’t want to admit it. Reisha was more valuable…

Emilia bit her lip and simply looked away.

Lazarus continued on his way with Falon, thinking that maybe this way he wasn’t bothering anyone.

He’ll never bother anyone again.

Falon led the way and allowed Lazarus to follow of his own accord. There was an unassuming wagon in front of the castle entrance and Lazarus, without even giving the instructions to do so, climbed up and just sat there.

“This will be a long ride young Prince…” Falon said and Lazarus didn’t spare him a glance and merely hugged his knees.

“It’s fine… no one wanted me here anyway…”

Falon said nothing to that and whipped the Wagon forward.

As Lazarus rode in the back, he noticed that Emillia was on the balcony. Looking at him.

His eyes widened and he looked at her.

He hoped.. Perhaps Emilia would just scream ‘No!’ and tell Falon to stop…but when their gaze met.

Emilia covered her mouth-... and looked away.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lazarus woke up and saw large trunks taller than he’d ever seen before. They were thick too and some were thicker than the wagon itself. The leaves covered the sky and only let a handful of the soft beam of light pass through.

It’s a forest. Lazarus had only read about them but never actually been to one.

Was this it? Falon had suddenly taken the thick cloth when they got far enough from the castle and covered the carriage so this must be it. They had traveled for days but Lazarus didn’t bother counting and he never looked outside the cover. He just wanted to be as far away as possible.

“We’re here.” Falon said, and the Wagon halted. “The forest of eternal peace.”

Lazarus continued to look around and felt anxious. He did say he wanted to be gone but this-... he at least expected it to be some sort house and not some forest.

“Reisha stayed here?”

Falon said nothing. He pointed a finger at Lazarus and lifted him up, then put him on the ground. The barrier cracked, surprising Lazarus and it shattered like glass. Many shards of blue light danced in the air for a moment before disappearing into thin air.

Falon was silent for a moment just staring at him. He then pointed his finger to Lazarus again.

“What.?” Lazarus asked, and Falon seemed to mutter ‘Hmm..’

“I wanted to ask you, young prince.”

“About what?”

“What do you think of me?”

Lazarus was quiet for a moment. Falon was always even and straight with him, the same way he was too everybody… at the very least,

“I’m-.. kind of grateful to you honestly… Unlike everyone else, you don’t seem to be afraid of me. Or are even fearful of me… For that I’m grateful..”

Falon raised a brow, seemingly surprised by his answer. Then he snickered, surprising Lazarus as he had never seen Falon show this kind of expression.

“Interesting. In any case,” Falon turned his finger to the carriage and closed his eyes. A beam of red light shot out and the wagon that had already been detached to the horse, began floating as it was engulfed in a red light. “This will help you in towing this around. This forest is your new home. And the Wagon contains a great deal of meals you can have as well as some clothing. Mostly supplies to keep you alive.”

Lazarus looked down and clenched his fist as Falon detached the horse from the wagon.

“One more thing.” Falon said, “You may not have been told as it was unnecessary. But from here on out, you’ve been exiled from the Twilight Kingdom.”

Lazarus' eyes widened. He wanted to say something and yet his entire body had become numb from the shock. He forced out the words from his choked up throat and asked, something he felt he already knew the answer to.

“M-mom would never agree to this…she didn’t-.. Right?”

Falon closed his eyes. “Unfortunately, she did agree to your exile.”

Lazarus’ felt something engulf his entire body and he went limp in his legs. So that’s how it is… He wasn’t just being sent away.

“I was told that it was unnecessary to inform you. However, I felt that you should know as I believe you can’t bother the kingdom anymore.” Falon said calmly. In truth, he was a bit happy that Lazarus saw him that way and decided to throw him a bone for his own amusement.

Lazarus was smiling like an idiot. How could he be so stupid? Forget breaking her promise to always be with me-... she outright abandoned him…

“I see-... so that’s how it is..” Lazarus muttered under his breath.

He’d been locked up for two years… Now a forest..? All the frustration he’d bottled up over the years…

Lazarus felt something pop in his head.

White hot rage burned in Lazarus’ stomach.

*Bam!*

Falon’s eyes widened when Lazarus struck the ground with both of his fists. He screamed, “Raaargghh!!!” and slammed his fist over and over again. It was unbridled rage. A shadow loomed over the young prince’ eyes but Falon could clearly see the tears running down his cheeks.

Falon sighed as he mounted the horse. “In any case, I’ll be taking my leave. Please, do use the Wagon as a means for your shelter if it rains.” Then he whipped the horse forward.

Lazarus reached a hand out to Falon. To try and hold something, to just have something in his grasp. But a blue film of light suddenly formed out of nowhere, bouncing his hand off. “W-what-..?”

Falon stopped, turned sideways and explained.

“This barrier is to prevent anyone from entering this place as well as keep you in.” And with that Falon whipped the rains forward and the horse neighed and went away.

Falon disappeared when he turned a corner.

Lazarus lowered his outstretched hand. He thought back to Emilia-...

“So that promise-.. was really just a lie…”

As he said that, he felt a torrent of emotions overflow from his throat and just hugged his knees and let out all of his emotions. Everything felt cold… so cold…

Lazarus weakly slammed his fist on the ground once more. And just screamed with all of his might.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Falon already exited the entrance to the forest and he was just left there standing.

Hee was far enough already. Falon looked back to the forest that looked like it was the size of the palm of his hand and sighed.

“If the Queen finds out about this….” He shook his head, that was exactly why he was headed to where Reisha was hidden to set things up and make it look like Lazarus somehow ran away. It was absurd of course saying that an eight year old could just run away if he’d place a barrier but, this was the King’s orders. He just had to make sure that things were set-up in a way that he would be blameless….

What if he made it look like bandits raided the place? Or maybe-....

Falon just continued to think of ways to try and make it as if Lazarus left the place as he rode on his horse. He thought back to what he told Lazarus and it was indeed the truth that Queen Emilia agreed to have him exiled, but—not to this place.

—-----------------------------------------------------------