Chapter 41

The Truth of Ruth

We decided to go back as the sun is hanging low. I wasn’t paying attention on the way, so it comes as a surprise when she brought me to the lab instead of her home.

Teacher’s lab sticks out like a pine tree in a desert, being the only modern structure in the rather primitive community of the vale. The building pulls its own electricity to power the tools from a handmade ‘thermal well’ – an artificial source of energy utilizing mana stones. From the outside, it’s a staggeringly plain two-stories high concrete block with close to no windows. The inside, though, is where the magic happens – literally.

In the past month, I’ve spent many hours experimenting with magic in this place, yet even now I still don’t know what most of the equipment are for. When teacher first realized I was illiterate, she decided to postpone her magic lessons and instead taught me what most people would learn as a child. Neither of us knew that after one hundred days, she’d still be teaching me how to write coherent sentences. In exchange, she granted me freedom to use some of the lab’s facilities to experiment on my own. Those experiments so far have rewarded me with the so-called light magic and ice magic. I told teacher about the former, but I kept cryomancy to myself – I’m afraid she’d have a cardiac arrest if she knew I learned two previously-thought-to-be-unique disciplines of magic within the span of a couple months.

“Follow me, I want to show you something.” She is brusque in her steps, giving me the impression that she’s been waiting to do this for a while.

Is this it? Are we finally going to do it? After all we’ve been through, all it took was me almost dying for her to finally come to terms with her own feelings. Still… doing it in a science lab, huh. I thought this place is supposed to be sterile. She leads me through the lab and towards the specimen storage room where she keeps all her toys. Ooh… will we be utilizing them? Teacher is kinkier than I thought.

She pulls out her necklace and places it against an indentation beside the door. There’s a click, and the door opens with a slight push.

You’ve never allowed me in here before, I said, curiously observing the objects inside the room.

Shelves are arranged neatly to form rows through the room and placed on them in no particular order are various oddities – some I recognize like the glowstone specimens and the bishop’s anti-mana staff. Most of them, though, I can’t comprehend the function of – like that slab of stone that’s for some reason wrapped in chains for example, or that creepy mask hanging in the corner. Out of all those peculiar and riveting objects, what she brings me to is a stick of wood.

Actually, calling it a stick of wood is a bit of an understatement because it’s closer to teacher’s staff in size. It’s about as long as I am tall, with one end neatly curving into a three-quarter circle the size of my head. At any rate, it’s definitely way too big for… on second thought, I might’ve misunderstood her purpose of bringing me here.

She pulls the object off the shelf and hands it to me. “It’s about time you have your own.”

I receive it, at the same time passing her own staff back to her. This new ‘stick’ feels similar to teacher’s, both in touch and in weight.

What is it for?

“...After all this time and now you finally ask?”

I’ve always thought that staves are merely ornamental in its purpose, a bauble to indicate a magus’ standing. Thinking back, Sallis, a fifth-sphere magus, has a slick, expensive looking staff while teacher, a sixth-sphere and an arcanist, has a wooden stick. If staves really were vanity-fulfilling trophies, it should be the opposite.

It’s not for decoration, then.

“Of course not,” she sighs. “Battle magi use staff with especially inductive threads sewn inside to help them better circulate the mana flow. Some staves also has built-in mana stones,” she points at the gem embedded on her own staff, “making for a convenient energy source at hand.”

So that’s what makes them so expensive, I said, jabbing at her statement yesterday about how her staff is worth more than I can ever afford. While inspecting the wooden object, I realize that unlike hers and Sallis’, there’s no mana stone attached or embedded in any part of it.

“That's not exactly the reason,” she answered with the most condescending look I’ve seen her make. “My staff is a bit special. Yours as well.”

Ah, I see. It's because it doubles as a walking stick. Sallis’ staff wasn’t nearly as long, he could only wave it around like a wand.

“Wha– no!” the woman quickly retorted. “I used a special kind of wolfram alloy to make it. Biotic steel… or biosteel if the Arcanum would just approve of the name already.”

Wolfram? I pause, trying to remember from where I’ve heard that word before. For some reason, the only thing I can connect that to is the word ‘turd’.

“Let’s just say it won’t be breaking any time soon.” She turns her back to me and walks over to the creepy mask. “You can go on ahead to the house. I still have some things to do.”

Actually, I’ll stay, I said as she takes the mask off it’s pedestal.

She walks out back into the lab without looking at me. I know for sure now that she’s been avoiding my gaze ever since the sick house, which led to my misunderstanding earlier. Regardless, I follow her out and watch from the side while she fastens the mask on a vise and starts doing her work with a pair of tweezers. She plucks something out, a small rounded contraption of some sort.

Noticing me watching, she allows me a look. “This beautiful thing is technology way ahead of our time. Literally one of a kind.” She throws it into the waste bin and I hear a sound similar to glass breaking. “Or it would be if I can just make a working prototype.”

After that, she continues to perform tests while I play the part of an assistant. She hums as she tiptoes from one equipment to another, seemingly working on not only the mask, but on several experiments at once. I should probably note that she only hums when she’s nervous and she tends to overwork herself when avoiding something.

Whilst in the middle of tinkering, she suddenly pauses. “What do you think about Inra?” she asked, still refusing to meet my eyes.

Umm… is she a girlfriend you forgot to introduce to me?

“If I had a girlfriend, I wouldn’t be wasting my time working on inventions that might raise the bar on technology for our entire civilization,” she snarked back at me. “We have a tradition of gifting names to Acquisition graduates as part of the monastery’s inauguration. As your only clanmate, I get to pick it,” she said with an attempt of a smile.

So we’re clanmates now, I give her a funny look. Is that how you got your name?

“Uh-huh. Been stuck with it for eight years now.”

I decide to ignore the question on why she’s thinking about my graduation and answered, Inra and Inzhi. I quite like it.

She abruptly pulls away and continue her work on her glowstone project. She pounds with a hammer to crack a hole on the specimen and then injects some kind of liquid into it. The stone starts glowing dimly, but before she could instill all the substance, her hand slips and the rock falls onto the floor. Only then I notice her hand shaking.

Because she’s not moving, I lean down to grab it and when I rise back up, she finally meets my gaze.

“Rutherea,” she said, taking the specimen from my hands. “Rutherea Castaroth… is who I was before I became Inzhi.”

Immediately I remember where I knew the word wolfram from. Wolfram steel, stronger and lighter than normal steel, said to be made in a special forge. The method of production, however, has long been gone since the fall of Castaroth.

You worked in the Graveforge. Except it's not really the forge. It's earth magic – that’s how wolfram steel was made.

“I’m surprised you know about it.” She answers with a smile, though it is a mirthless one. “My family is… was a long line of geomancers, kept secret and loyal only to the head of the house.”

Thorne, I blurted out without thinking. What exactly happened?

She spins the glowing rock in her hand nervously. “It’s as history says. He rebelled against the sovereign and put the empire into a three-year long war. Now that he’s gone, they call him a savage, gave him names like the Scourge and the Untamed, claiming that he’s a person who’d even terrorize the members of his own house into obedient slaves.”

Except that he’s not. The Thorne that I knew, the man that protected me in Level Three was not like that. He was strong, yes, but gentle and kind also.

She nods at my claim, which for her must seem like a mere guess. “He was once wise and magnanimous as the head, but… something changed. It was right after he came back from a venture outside the continent. He became paranoid and violent. My husband was one of the people who took the brunt of his abuse.”

Your… husband.

“One of Lawthorne’s son, Faedras. I–It was an arranged marriage,” she quickly added as if to clear some misunderstanding.

After he changed, did he say anything odd? Maybe something regarding... a false king or whatnot?

Teacher’s eyes widen in surprise, but she answers nonetheless, “Yes. In fact, the very reason for his rebellion was to challenge the sovereign’s right to the crown.”

Did he say something else?

She stares at me for a couple seconds. “You know, I honestly didn’t expect you to show this much interest in my past.”

…Ah, sorry. In truth, it’s not her past that I’m interested in.

“No, it’s okay.” She smiled, finally an earnest one, and one that dreads me with guilt. “The truth is, I’ve thought long and hard about these words I’m saying to you. If you reacted indifferently, it would’ve been very underwhelming.” She places her hand on my head and starts ruffling on habit. “Now that I think about it, he was obsessed with finding something. Some kind of code, or a key…”

A key?

"Wait. No, it was. a... 'codex'. He kept repeating that exact word," she corrected before pulling out a seat from under the desk. “Better make yourself comfortable." She sits down and urges me to do the same. "This is going to be a long story – a story of my truth.”

--- --- ---

Darkness had already fallen by the time she finished.

Her face looks as if she just relieved herself of a great burden. I, however, don’t feel remotely the same.

I don’t understand, I said, unable to hold back the anger rising in my gut. After everything they did to you, to your family, to your friends… how can you just forget about it and move on?

She splays her fingers against her chest, clenching the necklace beneath her clothes. “You misunderstand. I may have let it go, but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten.”

I’m standing up before I realized it, my shadow looming her figure that seems smaller than usual.

They hurt you, stripped you off everything you had. They made your life a living hell and you have every right to do that exact same thing to them. Even that time at the train, to the person responsible, you could’ve...

“I can’t anymore. Because I have everyone,” she said, hiding behind a fake smile. “I didn’t let go because I forgave. I let go because I didn’t want the people around me to get hurt – people like my teacher and my friends from the monastery, or a reckless pupil who’s privy to getting herself into trouble. Besides,” she rises to level her gaze with me, “it’s not really me that we’re talking about, is it?”

Suddenly I find the words stuck in my throat. She uses the chance to slip past me and head towards the exit. Just as I follow her, she stops at the door.

“You’re staying here tonight,” she said without turning her back. “For once I’d like to sleep in my own bed.” She slams the door behind her, leaving me alone with the storm that is my thoughts.

We didn’t bother switching on the lights, so the lab is now in complete darkness except for the little glowstone she left on the desk. I grab it and find my way to the second floor, to the makeshift bed teacher made for herself ever since I hijacked the one in her home. I let myself fall and bury my face into the pillow, curling up to once again become a pathetic bug.

‘Find the true king.’

I’m getting close, I know it in my gut. Damn it, why did I lose my head just then? I could’ve learnt more, but now… now I will never learn the truth.

Tell her.

Tell her what?

Everything.

That’s impossible. She’ll never believe me.

She trusted you by telling you her past. She gave you her most vulnerable secret, one that could’ve put her in your mercy. You would be one hell of a pupil if you betray that trust.

It’s not about trust. If Thalvos caught wind of this…

Stop fooling yourself. It’s all about trust. You’re just afraid of letting people in, to let them see what you truly are inside.

Shut up.

◊ ◊ ◊

I wake up to find teacher lying beside me.

…Teacher? I lean in to check if she’s sleeping, and a feeling of guilt instantly washes over me when I notice the streaks beneath her eyes. She must’ve came back sometime after I slept, probably to tell me something important, and I think I know what it is – she tried to hide the matter, but the ruckus at the canteen yesterday was enough for me to know that there's a tribunal on my name.

I decide to leave her be and head to the house for a quick wash before setting off to the Hall of Elders.

--- --- ---

I've always liked this path to the Hall of Elders. The trees are high and would block the sun until later at noon, allowing for a comfortable walk in the open without that annoying hood. The staff teacher gave me works well as a walking stick as it helps to alleviate the pain on my stomach as I walk, even if just a little bit. As I get closer to my destination, more and more fastbirds fill the traffic in the sky, and I start to encounter people – drachtals and augurs walking past, some stopping to stare but everyone leaves me alone in the end.

When I arrive at the Hall of Elders, what I first notice is all the litter contaminating the steps leading to the building, ranging from garbage to what I assume is bird excrement. Teacher told me about this, but I still can’t believe how the great Hall of Elders has fallen into such a pitiful state. That thought just puts a smile on my face.

I enter the foyer and thank heavens, it’s not as bad inside as it is outside. The large wooden doors which lead to the main room is guarded by a man from the court of arms. I stand in front of him, but he refuses to let me pass.

Let me in, I demanded, hitting the floor with my staff to create an intimidating stomp, but the only thing that comes out is a piteous tap.

“You’re…

Uhm, please let me in. I repeated, without the thumping and with the addition of one crucial word.

“I’m sorry, but the elders are busy right now.” He suddenly turns flustered. His eyes are fixed at my hair, probably realizing who I am just now.

But I need to see them now. Before teacher wakes up, if possible.

“Let her in,” a familiar voice came from behind me.

The man jumps at the voice but readily answers. “Right away, esteemed elder,” he said, stepping aside at last.

Douzhen looks down at me. “You’re late. Your tribunal was one hour ago.” He looks around the foyer, searching for someone. “Where’s your teacher?”

Is her presence required? I tilt my head in question.

“…No. And neither are yours. Your verdict was decided in your absence, but you should hear it anyway.” He leans over me to push the door open.

Thanks to that simple movement, an annoying feeling which I thought has gone forever is now back. I try to ignore it as I follow him into the room, but it’s quite distracting, even if I know it’s just a biological response.

Unlike the last time I was here, the room is mostly empty aside from two elders standing atop the podium. They seem to be discussing about something before we walked in.

“Young Sister Fay.” The one who first acknowledges me is Anlong’s dad, Anmal. “Your tribunal is already over. Why have you come here?”

“I figured she should at least hear it from us in person,” Douzhen answered in my place. For some reason, he’s not taking his seat on the podium and stays at my side. I wish he would, because having him this close is… exasperating.

“Where’s Inzhi?” Gihan asked about his friend.

She won’t be coming, I replied, and that look of his face is almost as if he’s relieved.

“Congratulations,” Anmal said without any hint of sincerity in his eyes. “In respect to your superior perception skills, we graduate you from Acquisition and as of now, you are a full-fledged member of the monastery.”

“You’ve only been here for two months. You were practically still an outsider and thus our laws wouldn't have applied to you,” Douzhen elaborated. “Tradition expects you to be given a name, but…”

Inra. Now I know why teacher gave me that name, to make me a full-member so they can give me a full verdict.

So you’re promoting me just so you can punish me?

“Sister Inra, as per the tribunal’s decision, you are to be placed in banishment from the vale for an indefinite period.” Gihan ignored my inquiry as he fingers his beard, copying Gaolad’s act as the most senior elder. “Your expulsion will be effective immediately on the 1st of Igyas. This decision is final and there will be no attempt for repeal. Do you accept your punishment?”

You old blighter. I’m sure you wouldn’t be acting so high and mighty if teacher was here.

“I ask you again; do you accept?”

I accept. For teacher’s sake.

Anmal smiles, but not at me. “I guess that means you can stay your hands now, elder.”

Instantly I jump away, feeling the sudden bloodlust that vanishes as sudden as it had appeared. The man from whence it came has his fists slightly tightened. Traces of a vimic strengthening is still around him, and it’s at a level that could’ve killed me with a single strike.

What kind of mentor kills his student on graduation day? I glare at him, my anger overpowering that annoying feeling.

He remains calm, waiting for the vimic aura to fully disperse before answering, “It would’ve never come to that.”

“Now, now, let’s be civil.” Gihan tries to maintain his new persona even with cold sweat dripping down his forehead.

Tell that to ‘him’. He’s the one that tried to attack me.

“We apologize, Sister Inra,” Anmal said, not the slightest bit sorry. “Elder Douzhen was only taking precautions. You did try to kill us first.”

…Hmph. Fair enough, I guess.

If we’re finished here, may I excuse myself? I have to leave now before I do something I regret. Without even waiting for their answer, I turn my back and walk away.

“You are excused.” I’m already at the door before Gihan completed the sentence. “Remember; 1st of Igyas,” he reminded before I shut the door on their faces.

The chatter outside the room immediately quietened once they see me walking out. What are they whispering about while looking at me? Why is no one coming up to me like they did yesterday? Like this, I can’t figure out if I’m a hero or a monster.

I pace down the steps, putting my hood on because the eyes are starting to bother me. I intended go back as fast as possible while teacher is still asleep, but that proves to be impossible because she’s already there, waiting for me at the bottom of the steps.

I stop in front of her and try to analyze her expression, but she has hidden it well. Teacher, I greeted her.

“What did they say?” she asked calmly.

‘Indefinite banishment’… but you knew that already.

She stays silent, only turning around and motioning at me to follow her.

They’re giving me one month to leave. She hasn’t said anything, so I started to expand on the details.

Fifty days to pack up and… say goodbye, I guess. Still no reaction from her.

Seems too long of a time, so I’m thinking maybe I should leave right away.

Finally, she turns around. “And you’re okay with it?”

I think… it was all a mistake. I should’ve went straight to District Cardinal. The only reason I came here was to be an arcanist, and yet… two months, and what have I gained from this?

What if Lyrfanas wasn’t unrelated to this after all?

What if me coming here was what caused all this in the first place?

“It’s over, Fay. The demon is dead.”

No, teacher. It’s not over. I grasp the spot just below my right shoulder, where a demon’s mark lies beneath the clothes.

Kukulkan… the snake demon was young and foolish. If it was Lyrfanas… I gulp involuntarily just by imagining her ten billion children coming down on us.

It was a mistake. I should’ve never come here.

“If it was, it’d be a mistake I’m willing to do again,” she responded without a moment’s hesitation.

Even at the cost of others?

She smiles wryly. “…You know, a girl once told me something about mistakes. She said, ‘You can put the blame on others all you want. It’s a good way to not take responsibility for your actions, by saying it was “on orders” or it’s the “logical” thing to do.’”

That’s...

“You can either blame others or carry the burden yourself, let it slowly eat you from the inside. Or, you can do what she does.” It was something I said to her, that time in Berwen. ‘Or you can do what I do…’ “Redeem yourself. Everything you do, do it for what you owed…”

Until there’s nothing left to be paid.

Her smile turns soft, as well as her voice, “Those were your words, Fay.”

…That’s right. It wasn’t all for nothing, because I met her.

Teacher, when I leave… I stop myself, afraid of what her answer would be. No, in the first place, this question is unfair to her – to ask her to choose between her home and me…

Her smile disappears. “No, I won’t be coming with you,” she answered, knowing what I was about to ask.

Ah… I guess I was fooling myself. Our relationship is only that of a teacher and a pupil, one that’s only been for a short time. Asking her to leave the home she’s been living in for over ten years, just for my sake, is a little overstepping it.

Yes, uhm… never mind.

I know I should’ve expected this but… it still hurts.

“Fay, before you misunderstand… do you remember our promise?” Her question only draws from me a questioning look. Is there any point in that anymore? “The other one, back at the old station – I promised that I’d make you an arcanist in half a year. We have until the month of fire. We still have time.”

Then the realization hits me. You mean…

She shoots me a determined look. “I will make you an arcanist before then. If I should fail, then I will gladly come with you.”

Teach… I drop my staff and jump into her, expecting a hug, only to be sidestepped. I send her an accusing stare. You won’t hug me at such a beautiful moment?

“I’d… prefer not to.” There’s pure terror in her eyes, as if she suddenly found that hugging me would kill someone.

You used to like it so much, though. Don’t you, ‘Ruth’? I call her by her pet name.

She shakes her head in disapproval, but her cheeks are turning pinkish red. She coughs superfluously before offering a hand to me. “Let’s go home, Fay.”

I happily take her hand with a smile. Shall we go home like this then?

“Uhm…” She looks at our coupled hands and her cheeks turn even redder. “…Sure.” She pauses, then pinches my nose with her free hand. “First rule; call me teacher. Have you forgotten?”

Ayight, ayight, sowwy. I imitated how I’d actually sound in that circumstance. She appreciates it by pinching even harder.

--- --- ---

After only a short distance, we realize that walking with coupled hands isn’t as easy as we thought. “Let’s just walk normally.” She tries to pull away, but I refuse to let go. “Err… Fay?”

I stop in my tracks, forcing her to wait on me.

…I just realized that I trust her.

I rely on her more then what I thought could be possible for me. For all her faults, she is the only person I can trust my life with. Other than those three, that is.

“Fay?”

…I don’t care anymore. Thalvos thinks he’s in control of me, but he isn’t. This will be the first thing I do that might contradict him. I’ve always been afraid – afraid of what the dark god would do if I dare defied him, but I’m not anymore. Not with her by my side.

Teacher… I look up at her. Can I tell you a story?

She stares at me, deadpan for a moment before giving me a knowing smile. “Of course.”

It all started in a dark maze, I started. A girl woke up with nothing but the clothes on her back. And then, there was this bird…

◊ ◊ ◊

The Hidden Vale is a place cut off from the rest of the world, blanketed by mist and surrounded by mountains. This almost-mythical place had just survived through what is perhaps the most grueling demon encounter in the east for decades. The monastery and the villages were devastated, yet the area surrounding it is relatively unscathed. It’s as if the demon only wanted what’s inside the vale and ignored everything around it.

Outside the cirque, at the foot of one of the mountains besetting the vale, is a little village named Road’s End. There’s only one inn in the village, owned and managed by a cranky man called Raf – a man famous for grumbling about everything and even more famous for always putting up with whatever he’s grumbling about in the end.

“Quack.”

“Yes, yes,” Raf grumbled, offering a bucket filled with feed of his own making to the brown scurry.

“Quack, quack!” The scurry greedily chows down the bucket.

“Slow down or you’ll have stomachache again,” he grumbled.

“Quack!”

“Nutty bird. Just who in their right mind would have a bloody scurry for a ride?” he grumbled at the air.

Unbeknownst to them, something is watching their movements from the shadows of the forest.

「 I smell it. 」

「 I smell homid. 」

「 The bird. 」

「 The bird smells of homid. 」

「 I see a homid. 」

「 Not that homid. 」

「 Different homid. 」

「 What do we do? 」

「 Tell mother. 」

「 Let’s tell mother. 」

「 Mother knows what to do. 」

「 Mother always knows what to do. 」