Chapter 40

Aftermath

There’s a land to the south where rain is sparse. A land where waves of sand stretch beyond the horizon. A land where, perhaps, they would finally be left alone.

They made the long walk, all the while the snake wondered why they needed to leave their home. So the snake asked the oldest and wisest of them all, the spider.

“Here be land of men,” the spider said.

But why couldn’t it be ours as well, the snake asked again.

“Men do not share. They think us beasts, waged war long ago, leaving only grudges.”

The snake couldn’t understand as she had not yet been born at the time of the great war. But the others trusted the spider, so the snake gave faith as well.

They made the long walk, all the while the snake dreamed of a future where men could forget their grudges. The snake had hope.

The men came for them. They came in their shiny scales. The spider led the others into battle, but the snake could not fight. The snake tried to talk, but the men offered only sticks that pierce flesh and tools that burn the air they breathe. The snake could only watch in horror.

Why? Why must we fight? the snake asked.

“Because we are living,” the spider answered.

The snake could not fight and slithered with the wind. But more than the fear of death, the snake was more afraid of losing her friends. When she came back, however, all that’s left was a sea of red. The snake could not find her friends, and even the spider was nowhere to be seen.

All she found was the scorpion, who hid under the sand. The snake took the scorpion on her back and they swore to never turn their backs against the other. They cried for their friends buried in the red sea and they swore to never abandon their friends ever again.

The land of sand had nothing for them, so they travelled north back into the land of men, hoping to find a place where they’d be left alone. The snake had hope.

The men came for them again. This time, the men wore differing scales and had different tools. The snake tried to talk, but they cut the scorpion’s tail off. They ran into a forest and hid under a pond, waiting for their wounds to recover while the men searched.

The snake no longer had hope. She cried for the scorpion’s pain and swore to never let the men hurt them again. Next time, she’d be the first to strike.

A frog who dwelled in the pond took pity, so the frog came to them and whispered;

There’s a valley to the east hidden by mountains. A vale where the stones rose high and the clouds hung low. A vale where, perhaps, they could hide from the rest of the world.

Once again, the snake had hope.

◊ ◊ ◊

The room is filled with the sound of my own breathing. Cold sweat trickle down the back of my neck as I snap my eyes open. The ceiling that I’m used to feels far away, and the room that was so familiar suddenly feels suffocating.

I’m back in my bedroom. Teacher’s bedroom, actually, which I claimed as my own some time ago.

I try to sit up, but fall back into the bed as waves of pain immediately begin their rampage on me. An incredible headache to start, as well as cramps all over my body. The worst of it, though, is the pain on my abdomen that feels like a festering wound.

Overall, I feel like I’m dying.

As I lament my fate, the door swings open and a familiar face walks in.

Surprise flashes pass her face before it turns into a gentle smile. “Hey, you,” she chirped out.

I smile back. Or at least I think I’m smiling, if not for my face feeling so numb.

Teacher.

She sits beside me on the bed. Her expression is full of relief as she asks me, “Hungry?”

Starving.

Not a moment later, my stomach answered as well, as if I wasn’t clear enough.

“I suppose you would be,” she cackled. “You’ve been asleep for a whole week after all.”

Say what?

Seeing my confusion, she explains, “It’s all over, Fay. We did it. We won.”

I blink at that statement and fall silent as I process it.

I… I see…

Looking outside, the sun seems to be up on its height, meaning the clouds had long dissipated by now. Thalvos’ storm is gone, and the demon is long dead. I should be feeling glad, but instead, all I feel is… sorrow.

Ow, ow…

Involuntary thoughts pour out as I try to sit up again. Teacher helps me up, her expression turning into worry as she asks, “Are you hurting anywhere?”

Everywhere, I answered curtly. Especially considering that it’s been a week, shouldn’t I have recovered somewhat?

As I think that, teacher’s hand idly finds itself on top of my head.

I wave her hand away and give her a serious look.

It really hurts.

This time, both her hands lock onto my head and start rubbing it with all their might.

“Of course it hurts,” she answered as she creates a wreckage out of my hair.

And the poison–

“Is all but cured, thanks to you identifying it back then, by the way. The healers knew what to do once they knew what it is.”

With that look in her eyes, I realize – the past week felt merely like a long sleep to me, but if her care for me is as great as she displays, it must’ve been a nerve-wracking week for her. With that in mind, I let my weight fall into her and put my arms around her. I know she likes this sort of thing, so just for this once…

She looks at me weirdly for that, tough.

“Ahem, well,” she softly pushes me away, “I can’t stay for long, so… I’ll be back with some grub.” she said, and just like that, she’s gone like the wind.

…How about that caring for me as much as she displays, oy.

With her gone, tiredness overwhelms me despite having had a week-long rest. Before laying myself back into bed, I decide to take a look at what’s causing me so much pain. Slowly, I roll up my clothes to see, on my abdomen… a pair of swells, surrounding what looks to be a large snake bite. They’re nothing but bruises now, but I can tell from a slightly blackened area around them that they were much, much more worse before. As expected of a demon’s poison, to still linger around after this long.

Although they look ugly right now, they’re really just additions to an already large collection in the long run. I have to wonder though – I don’t recognize these clothes I’m wearing. Did teacher change them for me? If so, I wonder if that’s the only thing she did to me while I was sleeping? Tee-hee.

I lay myself back into the bed, letting myself sink into the softness. I just can’t relax somehow. There’s something… nagging me at the back of my mind. Something horrible, but I just can’t put my head around it.

We are living.

I repeated Kukulkan’s last words as if it’d help me find the meaning behind them. It doesn’t. Seeing no apparent answer, I let myself drift into the most restless sleep I’ve had in a long while.

--- --- ---

“Are you good?”

Uhm…

With the help of teacher’s magic staff, I’m finally able to balance myself, somewhat.

I think I can manage, I said with no confidence.

“Heheh, look at you. Exactly like a newborn fawn with your legs shivering like that,” she snickers, then points at the staff in my hand, “you break it, you buy it.”

I look at the cheap-looking staff that she’s had ever since I first saw her. Aside from that little stone that glows at the tip, it’s really just a walking stick made of wood. If I happen to break it, I should have more than enough money to compensate her. I still have chief’s purse with me, after all.

Then I realize teacher is glaring. “You’re thinking that my staff is worthless.”

I didn’t say that.

“No, but you’re thinking it. Just so you know, my staff is easily worth a noble’s annual income. You could never pay for it.”

I look back at the walking stick magic staff in my hands.

Just what makes this thing so valuable?

After that, we start making our way to acquisition because teacher failed to get me food, so we’re going to where the food is instead. On the way there, teacher fills me in on what I’ve missed during my long sleep.

As we’d hoped, the horde went into disarray as most of the beasts went feral after the demon was killed. The defense then managed to push the now disorganized beasts back into the forests. Only three days ago, they finally found and killed the last alpha, which was apparently some kind of insect beast.

After that, the dragons came and wiped the vale clean of the now mindless beasts. Now this is where I feel something is off, but I say nothing about it. Teacher doesn’t mention anything either, but I’m sure she has thought of it as well.

“What about you, Fay? What do you remember?” she suddenly asked me.

I remember I was taken away, and then… you came for me.

“Everyone came,” she heartfully grins, “we set a record on the fastest climb, I tell you. And then?”

And then I made a thunder.

Or was that part of the dream?

“As I thought… it was you.” she grimaced.

I tilt my head. You don’t seem too happy about it.

She sighs, shaking her head at me. “I don’t know, Fay. It’s just… seeing it with my own eyes, it’s like witnessing the act of gods.”

I’m flattered.

“It’s not a praise,” she replied curtly, “do you know how many people, in all of known history, was able to do something like that with magic?”

Erm… not that many, I guess?

“Only one,” she leans in, “the demon king.”

Oh.

That name again. The demon king of old – he seems to keep popping out wherever I go.

…Wait, what about the gods?

She blinks at my question, then looks at me as if I’m stupid. “Fay, I know you’re a believer, but if you want to be an arcanist, you have to separate between faith and facts.”

This time, it’s my turn to look at her as if she’s stupid.

First of all, I’m not a believer.

She opens her mouth to retort, but I cut her off,

I may believe in the gods, but don’t think for one second that I have my faith in them. Secondly, aren’t you contradicting yourself? Just now you regarded the demon king as something real, yet you don’t believe in the gods?

“Well, this and that are different.”

How? I mean, don’t they come together? The demon king and whatshername goddess?

“Athyra, and no, they don’t come together,” she holds her staff that I’m holding to stop me from walking, making sure she has my undivided attention before explaining, “It’s a religion, Fay – myth and figures created to explain the world in a way that suits them. Nothing more than that.”

Except, I know for a fact that at least one god is real. Instead of saying that, I further argue,

And how is the demon king different?

She looks up, scratching her head as she thinks of an answer.

“It’s all got to do historical validity,” she started, “The arcanum worked together with historians and archeologists all over the world to determine the truth of the so-called ‘calamity’ that supposedly happened hundreds of years ago. Through the analysis on extensive samples of textual records and material cultures, it was concluded that a great war between two dominant races did happen, and that the existence known as the demon king was, indeed, real.”

Umm…

Was I supposed to understand any of that?

“Simply put, the demon king exists in many, if not all cultures on Arallax. The athyrian saga, on the other hand, only exists in one culture – the culture of the cardinals’ predecessors, which became widespread as the empire expanded.”

To put it simply, if there’s enough records of it, then it’s considered valid?

She nods. “Of course, the records have to come from different cultures. In the demon king’s case, there are writings even from South Arallax which, back then, was a different continent altogether.”

So the arcanum thinks the demon king is real, but not the gods.

“Here’s to make it easy; which is more believable – that humanity won using combined efforts and technology, or that some goddess stopped the war by sacrificing herself?”

--- --- ---

The same amount of people, if not more, permeates the grounds around the hall of acquisition as there were when it was a refugee camp. Fortunately there’s also much more space now, so no one has to worry about getting stomped to death.

The previous makeshift structures, mainly the spike trenches and towers, have mostly been broken down. In their place is a number of new buildings, wooden and provisional in their nature.

“That’s the sick house,” teacher pointed at one of the new buildings, then at the other one right beside it, “and that’s where we go to eat.”

They’re putting food and sick people right beside the other?

She shrugs. “It’s mostly physical injuries from the war, anyway. The main cause of plagues are dead bodies, which were… already taken care of,” she ended with a forlorn look.

Remembering something, I stop dead in my tracks.

“Fay?” she said upon noticing.

Teacher, is this okay? I mean, am I not a fugitive still?

She responses with what seems like a snigger, “It’ll be alright. Trust me.”

But…

She ushers me with a wave. Since she looks so confident, it should be alright… right?

While I shrink my form in the crowd, she names the other buildings – the storehouses, the lodgings, and taking the hall of acquisition itself, the communications center. I note at the traffic of birds coming in and out of that last one, imagining rows of augurs writing letters to their pet birds inside.

“There’s few more places like this one, such as the hall of elders. Now imagine that – the place where the elders sat are now covered in bird poop,” she laughed.

Most of the makeshift buildings look the same, only the mess hall is different as it’s designed to be open and airy, making it easy for people to walk in or out. It also makes it easy for people to relax, to eat and drink and chat while enjoying a bit of green. There are no chairs or tables, instead everyone is seated on the floor in large groups, calling for toasts and laughing at jokes. Looking at it like this, it doesn’t feel like they’d just survived through a war.

As we enter the canteen, I feel several eyes on us. Then someone comes to us with fervor. Just as I’m about to run away, that person greets us by name and gives us a small bow before leaving without saying anything else.

After that, more people notice us and do the exact same thing, as if greeting us has become a custom.

The heck?

What is this, a trick? A trap?

Teacher titters at my reaction. “It’s because of you.”

Me?

“You killed the demon, after all.”

I stare at her quizzically.

So what, I’m like a hero now?

“At the very least, you won’t need to hide around anymore.”

So you already told everyone about that battle. Why did you even ask me for confirmation, then?

“Told everyone? Silly Fay, everyone in the country saw your thunder. We didn’t tell them, they asked us first. All we did was share with them what we thought happened.”

I cross my arms and give her a skeptic look.

So you told them that some magus apprentice called down an actual thunder and… they believed it?

She shrugs, “It’s easier to believe than if some lightning just randomly struck the demon.”

Well, we were high up, so technically, the chances are…

“Never mind that, Fay. It’s not like it wasn’t true, anyway–“

She suddenly stops walking upon noticing something ahead – one of the elders, Gihan, as well as a group of some serious looking people.

“…Why don’t you get us some food, Fay?” teacher asked me without looking. Her arms move as if to prevent me from moving forwards.

Yeah… sure, I meekly comply.

I walk towards the counter, glancing behind to see teacher approaching that group of people. I try to hear what they’re talking about, but their voices are lost among the chatter of the many people here.

The way they distribute food is the same as how it was in acquisition – you pick up a tray and pick what you want to eat. Since everyone is free to choose what they want, there’s probably no food shortages, which means they must’ve reclaimed the grain storages to the south. The food themselves, though abundant on first look, doesn’t have much variety. There’s cornmeal bread and congee, as for meat there’s stew and dumplings. There’s also veggies and fruits to complete the set, but that’s basically it. Still it’s a luxury considering what this place just went through. At least for me, anything with meat is a luxury.

As I get into the line, I realize that most of the people here are not practitioners. Refugees from the villages, perhaps. It reminds me that the vale’s population is not just us, but also thousands of people with self-governing villages with the monastery right at the center, connecting the villages together and giving them protection from beasts and the like.

…Like this, I see why the elders didn’t want to go on the offensive. They had all these normal people to think about and putting everything into one attempt to strike the demon would mean risking the lives of everyone in the vale.

“Ahem,” a lady coughs to catch my attention.

She has a ladle in her hand, waiting on me. This person is probably here to hand us the food, so that people don’t take too much? There’s one problem though; she doesn’t look like a practitioner, which means she most likely can’t hear me.

Two,

I raise two fingers. I wonder if I’m even allowed to take two portions?

She narrows her eyes, possibly thinking that I’m being rude. After that, I point to my picks of food, but because I can’t say anything, I end up taking more time than others, enough to annoy the person behind me enough to click his tongue.

Finally, the food lady gets annoyed as well and hands me the ladle without saying anything. I take it, but with one hand holding balance on teacher’s staff and the other holding the tray, how am I supposed to do it?

“Tch,” the person behind me clicked his tongue again, just in case I didn’t hear it the first time.

“Young Sister Fay?” someone called out, just as I’m about to do something I’ll regret.

I look behind to see one of the drachtals from the demon hunt. I think his name was…

Loudu–

Oops.

Esteemed Brother Loudu, I correct myself.

“I am glad to see you up and about,” he smiled and upon noticing my problem, he approaches me and takes the ladle. “Let me help you with that.”

I look back at the lady and see her bug-eyed.

“S–Sir Drachtal, sir!” the lady stuttered.

Loudu replied with a smile, “Good evening, missus. Oh, and this is Miss Fay. She’s the one who killed the demon.”

She looks as if she’d drop her brows at any second. As I let Loudu help me, I glance at the person behind me and see shock on his face as well. I raise a brow and send him a snicker.

Bitch.

Then I walk away with my food.

Ah, so satisfying. Not like he could hear me, though.

“I apologize for meddling,” Loudu said while sniffling a laugh.

No, uh… thank you, really.

“Anyway, you seem quite fine, young sister. The demon had taken away too many of our friends. Karyat’s loss was devastating, and Anlong’s in that condition as well. I couldn’t bear to think we lost another.”

…Huh?

“You were so close to dying and everyone was worried about you. Inzhi, especially. Every night, she–“

Wait, what did you say?

“Hmm? Everyone was…”

No, what happened with Anlong?

He frowns. “You didn’t know?”

Tell me.

“…Back on the Heavenly Steps, he was the one standing closest to the demon when you… when the lightning struck.”

You mean he’s….

He shakes his head. “No, but he’s been comatose ever since then. They’re taking care of him in the sick house next door.”

Comatous? What is that? What does it mean?

That doesn’t make any sense.

He pats my shoulder, probably trying to comfort me, “It’s not at all your fault.”

But what does comatous mean? It doesn’t sound like he’s dead or anything. Some type of incapacitated state, maybe?

No, it doesn’t make any sense because Anlong’s an augur type in the first place. Why would he get himself into danger like that?

“It all happened so fast, young sister. When we saw you lying there, we thought you were dead. Elder Douzhen and your teacher went wild, and Anlong… he was trying to get you.”

…I don’t understand. He was trying to get me, when everyone else thought I was dead?

Why? Why would he risk that?

Ranlan used to say that he had certain… feelings towards me, but I never understood, nor have I ever taken it seriously.

How could someone have feelings so strong to justify that risk?

What have I ever done for him to make those feelings form in the first place?

“Young sister, it’s not your fault,” Loudu continued, “Anlong made his choice. It was all his–“

Thank you for your help, esteemed brother, I smile at him.

Now I’m sure you have other things to attend to. I won’t take any more of your time.

He knits his brow together. Just as he’s about to answer, I turn my back on him and walk to where teacher was.

Now that was rude, but I couldn’t help it. The more he comforted me, the more suffocating it made me. If he continued, I felt like I’d do something I’ll regret.

Some raised voices pull me out of my thoughts. And older voice trying to calm an agitated female voice, from the sound of it.

“Inzhi, you must understand–“

“Oh, I understand very well, Ginny. I understand that your pettiness knows no bounds.”

Gihan has a very ugly expression on his face. A mix of anger and fear, though I can’t blame him. Teacher can get very scary when she’s mad.

“I get it. You people,“ she mocked, “you people are afraid. You couldn’t even make the right decision back then, so why would you now? Tell me, when has cowardice bested our honor?”

“Inzhi, please…” he stops when he notices me walking towards them.

Teacher follows his gaze, and her expressions too turns ugly when she sees me, but she immediately covers it and skips towards me. “Nice. Thanks, Fay,” she said with a forced smile.

She takes the tray on one hand and grabs my arm with the other.

“Inzhi, the elders made a decision! We’re holding a tribunal, no matter if she’s present or not!” Gihan shouted from behind us.

She ignores him and keeps pacing away, dragging me behind her.

Teacher, what did he–

“Ignore him, Fay,” she said with a particular voice -- a voice I know demands compliance. When she’s like this, it’s better to just keep quiet and do whatever she needs me to do until she calms down.

After finding a quiet place, we sit down face to face. She immediately takes a bite as if afraid I’d say something. Well, I’m not. Instead I quietly eat my food. She takes glances at me time to time, expecting to hear something from me but I stay silent.

Probably because she can’t take it anymore, she’s finally speaks out, “So, uhm… Fay, how are you feeling?”

I’m feeling fine. A bit giddy, maybe.

“Doing magic at that scale is strenuous to the mind. It might factor to why you were asleep for so long.”

Perhaps.

.

We finish our food and still she looks as if she’s waiting for me to say something.

“What do you want to do now? We can go back, or…”

I want to visit the sick house.

As she blinks in surprise, I continue, I want to visit Anlong.

“You… knew?”

Someone told me. Surely, you have a reason for not telling me.

“Fay, I never meant to… it’s just, you’re still recovering. I was worried that you…”

Teacher, please stop, I put down my bowl in a loud clang.

Whatever your reason was, I still deserve to know the consequence of my own actions. If you can’t even tell me that, how can I trust you as my teacher?

She looks down at her own hands and mutters in a soft voice, “I know.”

What else? What other things are there that you’re not telling me?

She looks back up and forces a smile, reaching out to stroke my head. “Hopefully nothing else.”

Teacher, did you know?

“Hmm?”

You have this habit of stroking my head when you’re lying or anxious about something.

She pulls back her hand, her smile disappearing in an instant.

Possibly both, I finish.

She widens her eyes, open her mouth, closes it again, frowns, and turns sullen. This myriad of expressions passing through her face, I could look at forever.

In the past, I would’ve gotten angry with this behavior of hers, but now I just find it… endearing. I know she never meant to keep anything from me. She’s just biding her time while she finds the right words. She must be afraid that whatever she has to say for me will hurt me or make me act rashly, and I can’t blame her. I do have a history of doing things out of impulse.

At any rate, she will tell me when she’s ready, and I’m willing to wait.

After we’re done with the canteen, she takes me to the sick house in silence. Her steps are a bit wobbly compared to her usual sharp struts, which makes me feel a little bad for pushing her. Well, just a little.

“I’ll be waiting outside,” she said with a dispirited tone.

I nod and enter the sick house by myself. It’s usually restricted to most people, but teacher gave me clearance to the guard outside. It’s funny how even though she’s officially not an elder anymore, she still is in practice.

Walking inside, the smell of antiseptic immediately fills my sense of smell. There are beds in a row on either side of a big room, every one of them with occupied. Some of the patients are being attended while others are just groaning in their sleep, but all of them have bandages wrapped around a part of their body. Some are even missing their limbs – mark of a battle against a vicious beast.

One of the healers waves me in and leads me to the very end of the room. There I see a familiar person, sitting on a chair at the side of the bed.

Zethran, I call out.

“You little bastard,” he stands up upon seeing me, a slight smile on his face.

We smack our hands together in greeting, though I almost have to resist the urge to just hug him there. No matter how relieved I am to see he’s alive, he’s still that Zethran.

Said person then points his thumb at the bed. “Your boyfriend’s been sleeping like a baby for days now,” he said with a hint of mockery.

I look at the bed to see a boy covered in bandages. Even through the wrappings, I can see that his skin is badly burned in several places. Fortunately, he doesn’t seem to be missing any limbs.

“Meh, it’s not so bad. At least he’s still pretty,” Zethran muttered, giving me an ugly grin, “You couldn’t at least singe his face or something?”

Oh, shut up.

Suddenly I feel a weight on my shoulder, heavy enough that it almost throws me off balance. I turn to see Zethran’s hand on my shoulder.

“I’m glad you’re alive,” he said, on his face a smile I can’t believe he could make.

I place my own hand on his shoulder. You too, Zeth.

“Pretty boy here is having it rough, but the healers said he’ll be okay. I’m sure he’ll wake up soon enough.”

Yeah, surely.

“That just leaves us that girl.”

As his words flow, I skip a breath. The air becomes heavy as an inexplicable feeling creeps the back of my neck.

Not knowing what I’m going through, Zethran continues on, “They’ve been sending search parties out, but every day, all we find are just more and more dead bodies. Mostly villagers who couldn’t make it to the camps.”

I tighten my grip on teacher’s staff as if to break it. The sound of ambience fade until all I can hear is Zethran’s voice.

“No worries, though. I’ll find her, though the girl being who she is, maybe she’ll find me instead. She’s the toughest gal I know, there’s just no way that she’s…” he stops when he realizes I took a step back from him. “…Fay?”

My eyes dart to the floor dodging his eyes. I quickly reach into the pocket of my coat, part of me hoping that there’s nothing there. I feel the cold touch of the object inside. Suddenly, I find myself struggling to breathe.

“Oy, what’s wrong with you?” Zethran steps cautiously towards me, but I instinctively step back.

I try to say something, but nothing comes out. Instead I grasp the necklace-shaped object in my pocket and lift it towards him.

“That’s… it can’t be.”

A pair of hands found their grips on my shoulders.

Question after question he throws at me, questions I can’t answer.

I didn’t know.

I swear, I never knew.

It wasn’t my fault.

When the shouts stop, he releases his grip on me. A shadow looms as he leans over near my ear, “You knew, didn’t you?”

His voice is trembling – from anger, from grief, I don’t know.

“You knew, and still you let her go.”

Someone else starts shouting as well with a reprimanding tone, possibly one of the healers. Then the large shadow disappears, walking past me and stops momentarily behind me.

“Sorry,” he slowly muttered, “I just… need some time alone.”

I don’t know to whom he directed those words to; to the angry healer, or to me.

Only after the footsteps are gone I walk back to the bed. I feel my knees giving in as I drop to his side. I hold his arm, hoping that it would stop the trembling.

You too… will you hate me as well when you wake up?

The only one answering me is a stifling silence.

Will you wake up at all?

I stay there, my gaze hovering on his sleeping face, wondering what his angry face would look like as he never once directed it towards me. I don’t know how long I’ve stayed, but when someone taps softly on my shoulder, I realize it’s been too long.

When I walk out of the sick house, I see that teacher is there waiting for me. She looks confused upon seeing me. She approaches me with tentative steps as if I’d run away at any moment.

Once close enough, she reaches out and pulls me into a hug. I hug her back.

Only then I notice the wetness beneath my eyes.