Chapter 33

Tough Love

Death.

The one thing everyone runs away from. Unseen, but always there, lurking around the corner. Waiting, always waiting, cold and patient for you to turn your back on it.

Years, even decades away, but you know it’s there and still you refuse to see it. You know it’s coming, but everything you do, it’s all to make yourself blind to it.

But what happens when you do see it? Will you keep running, or will you embrace it?

Or what if you could do neither of them? The answer to that was something I wished I had at that time.

When I opened my eyes, the memories came rushing back; the three-headed monster, the floor that crumbled beneath me, and…

…Eretz, he was…

…But the time for grief didn’t last long before the pain came surging in. I looked down at my abdomen, and realized I was already on my way to meet the wolf.

Like needle through wool, a pillar of stone pierced through my flesh, keeping my body in the air like some kind of sick decoration. My limbs were no longer mine, and my consciousness was already at its limits trying to fence the pain away. Death was certain and yet, if I could die from something like that, I would’ve died a long time ago— maybe from blood loss, maybe from shock.

Either way, I couldn’t die even if I wished it. I can’t remember if I did.

My mind was adrift, running away because my body couldn’t. I wanted to wake up, but then the pain would come back, so there I was, hanging like a boar on a stake, ready to be feasted upon.

I waited for something to happen. Death or escape, I didn’t know what it was I wanted, so I just waited... until I decided that I’d waited enough, that it’s time for me to wake up.

「 Thou art afraid, little lass? 」

It was a formless voice that spoke from memories, yet it was clearer than everything else.

「 Keep being afraid. Keep being alive. 」

Alive...

The pain came back. The agonizing pain, unlike anything I’ve felt before, the pain that reminded me of the one thing I had— the only thing I had from the start.

I am... alive…!

I pushed, with the legs I couldn’t feel, against the ground to try and pull myself out.

A…gg..ah…

My foot slipped and gravity cheered as it pushed me down into the spike. Then I tried again, only to fall deeper. It came to the point where with every stumble, I prayed for the pain to finally kill me.

Just… kill me… I begged into the darkness.

I couldn’t take it. It was too much to live for, but something certainly wanted me alive. Something wanted me to endure this eternal pain for whatever sin I know nothing of.

「 ...know the ways of mana, whence they come, and how they form... 」

Magic...

I closed my eyes and push the pain away again. However, this time, I wasn’t running away. Like the time Eretz used me as a conduit, I let my mind slip into a realm beyond my own.

「 Within and without, agnize their existence. Feel the flow... 」

How… did he do it...?

The pulsating air, the veins of the walls... it all started to rush into my senses. Then I felt it. Like a member of my own body, I felt the stone, the rock in my gut and how it connects to the ground below.

How did Eretz… break those walls...

I remembered how he gathered mana inside me before directing it into the wall, using raw energy to break the molecular bonds. I remembered the feeling, so I tried to imitate it, and... I did it. I don’t know how, but before long, I was burning from the mana filling up. I directed it, transferring them from my flesh to the spike, then down towards the base.

Not… enough...

I kept gathering more mana and kept directing it. It burned like a roaring flame inside me, drowning out the pain of flesh and replacing it with something else. Something more terrifying.

-Crack-

Finally, I could feel the spike faltering at its base.

-Crack- -Crack-

When I felt my body falling, I used all my strength to pull my body to the side and fell as the spike broke in half, with its pointy half still embedded in me. As soon as my skin touched the ground, all my senses came running back. All the blood, all the tears in my flesh— no matter how many times I groaned and squirmed, they just wouldn’t go away. I was cold and in pain, but I was free. I only had to pull out what’s left of the spike, but then....

…Something was there. Unseen, but always there, lurking around the corner. Waiting, always waiting, cold and patient for me to free myself.

Those three pairs of glowing eyes, all of them were burning with hunger, all of them were looking at me.

I don’t remember much of what happened next. I remember running, and not much of everything else.

…Yes. So much running. And then I was eaten.

===

=== ===

=== === ===

“...-ke up...”

Ungh...

“Wake up, Fay!”

Nn..ngah...?

I wake up abruptly to a throbbing pain in my cheek. Not only that, it feels as if a rock is on top of me.

Oh. Not a rock, but a teacher.

…Teacher?

“Fay!”

She looks panicked.

Ugh… What is it? Did something happen?

“You were screaming in your sleep, so... I had to wake you up.”

I was… “screaming?”

“It… felt like you were screaming.”

I raise a brow at her. Right...

“I’m not messing around with you.”

No, I get it. Did my thrashing around wake you up?

“No... well, yes, but...”

Sorry about that.

She narrows her eyes at me, her gaze so full of emotion that I can’t identify. “Don’t say that.”

What do you mean?

“Never say sorry for things that hurt you as well.”

…Is that a new rule?

“Yes. Third rule—“

Fourth.

“Right. Fourth rule.”

…Do you feel sorry for me, teacher?

“......”

You shouldn't. It’s just a nightmare, teacher. Just a nightmare...

“You don’t sound convinced.”

No, that’s not…

“Is everything fine, Inzhi?” a voice said from somewhere outside the bedroom.

“It’s fine! Everything’s fine!”

Who?

“Ginny. A friend of mine.”

“Ginny?”

It didn’t sound like a girl’s voice. More like an old man’s.

“Gihan. Ginny. He’s one of the elders. You met him yesterday.”

Oh, I see.

“……”

……

The seconds tick away as we stare at each other in that awkward position; her on top, straddling me on the bed.

“…Huh. Maybe you are a ‘masukis’.” There’s a dangerous flash in her eyes as she said that.

T─Teach?

“Anyway, I’m going away for a bit. Not a bit, actually. There’s something I need to tell you first.”

Go ahead, by all means.

I sigh a breath of relief when she finally gets off me to sit at the side of the bed. It felt like I was in danger for a second there.

So? I crawl to her side and sit beside her.

It better warrant slapping me awake.

“One of the scouts returned last night.”

Oh?

“Or morning. Didn’t look at the clock.”

Was it him─ I mean, was it Douzhen?

“No, it was one of his men. He was injured and has been unconscious since, but when he came, he said, ‘the demon is coming’.”

I guess that’s it for planning, then.

“Fay…”

Uh-oh… I know those eyes. I probably won’t like what I’m going to hear next.

What is it, teach? I asked, steeling myself.

“Ever since that one person returned, there’s been no word from the scouts.”

I see.

“The elders fear they’re already…”

I just stare back into her silently, her next words already forming itself in my head.

“No, but… Look. Your mentor, he’s the best drachtal in the valley. I’m sure he and the others are… fine...”

She trailed off at the end, doubting her own words.

Suddenly, I feel a slight pain in my hands, then I realize my nails are digging into my own flesh. When I notice it, my heart is already beating faster than it should be. I release my hands as I take a deep breath.

He was your mentor too.

“……”

Another moment of silence comes between us, until someone shuffling outside the room brings us back from our thoughts.

“So, about this… they’ve started evacuations on the fringes. It’s been hectic.”

How about the dragons?

“We’ve already sent for help, but we don’t know how long until word reaches them. In the first place, interfering with our world is against their law and…”

So we’re on our own? But, Gerra said…

“…Everyone’s been busy,” she said, derailing the topic, “every drachtal and augur are called in to help. And now they need me.”

Now? Like, ‘now’ now?

“Yes.”

Okay, I’ll get prepared right away─

“They need me. Not you.”

Her words stop me just as I’m about to get my bearings. Then I look back at her.

…You’re not doing this to me.

“I am.”

Is she… serious? She can’t be.

“You, stay here,” she said in a voice I never thought to hear from her. It was not an advice nor a request. It was a command.

No, I answered.

“As your teacher, I─”

I said no.

“This isn’t a joke!” she jumps up from the bed and glares me down.

I glare back at her. And I’m not joking.

“Damn it, Fay. Do you even know what could happen out there?”

Yes, I do. I met one, remember?

“Of course. Lyrfanas. She’s exactly why I don’t want you going out there.”

We don’t even know if it’s her!

“And what if it is her?!”

All the more reason I should go out there! ‘I’m’ the one who’ve faced her before! ‘I’m’ the one who can help the most─

“Help?” She suddenly shoves me back, then continues to push me against the wall with a single arm. “See? Can’t even push me back, can you? And you want to help?”

…I can burn you, though.

“And burn the vale with me?”

Or I can use water magic to─

“That’s not the point, Fay! You can’t even fully control your magic yet! You’ll just end up becoming another threat!”

I shove her arm off me. And whose fault do you think that is?

“Excuse me?”

If you were actually teaching me instead of─

“I am teaching you!”

About what? Colloquial writing? Which verbs to use? All you ever taught me was─

“Do you think I’m going to be with you forever?! Just because the people here can ‘hear’ you, doesn’t mean the people out there can! Writing is the only way you can─”

Oh, bite me! Three months! That’s what you promised! You said you’d make me an arcanist in three months, and it’s been two fucking months already, and I’m not even close!

“No, no, don’t you go there─”

You said I’m more than just a pupil. What am I, exactly? What am “I” to you? Just someone to keep you company?

“What…? Do you even need to ask that?!”

The deal was just to make me an arcanist, “teacher”. So what’s with all the bullshite with Acquisition or whatever the fuck that is? Seems to me that you’re just stalling─

“I am not!”

Then why all this pointless stuff you’re making me do─

“Because I care about you!”

…………

…Because she cares about…

The sound of her heavy breathing is all I can hear. Her teary eyes, still glaring at me, are speaking words she’d never say to me.

(Because I care about you.)

It took me a second to register what she said, and to understand what she actually meant.

After taking a deep breath, I realize I’m also out of breath, despite not actually “speaking” like she did.

“Umm, Inzhi? Everything alright in there─”

“GINNY, WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT ENTERING A GIRL’S ROOM?!”

The old man was only there for a near-instant before scurrying off somewhere, clearly afraid of teacher’s wanton rage.

As she turns her attention back to me, I realize something off in what she said.

(Because I care about you.)

And yet she wants to imprison me. All she’s doing is yielding to her own fear of losing me. Does she not realize this harms me more than anyone?

Hmph. Some “teacher” you are─

…..

Eh?

…Ow?

After the impact, my field of vision is all jumbled up. There’s a stinging pain on my cheek, and when I come to, I’m already sprawled on the floor.

Ow. That fucking hurts. She even had the nerves to hit me in the exact same spot as that wake-up-slap.

Before I can say anything, my mouth are shut by her glare. Her lips are trembling, hiding the emotions beneath her voice as she says to me,

“Stay.”

I’m not your pet, is what I was about to say. Then I realize nothing I say will go through to her, and nothing she says will go through to me. Probably realizing the same thing, she turns around and leaves the room, slapping the door shut behind her.

I start pacing around the room while looking for something to throw in fury, but everything’s either too heavy or too expensive.

Fuck.

I can hear people talking just outside the room. I could try listening in, but I don’t want to.

Just… shite.

Fucking shite, fopdoodler, biggoty Fay. How did it come to this? What were we even fighting about…

Oh, right. About her grounding me.

She’s just scared of losing you.

Yes, I know that. Doesn’t make it right.

What were you going to do if she let you go?

I don’t know. Something? Better than sit around and do nothing.

What are you waiting for, then?

…You’re right.

I walk up to the window and just as I’m thinking what to do next, a figure appears walking towards the house.

…Karyat.

So he’s the one who will be watching me. Maybe I could wait until he’s inside the house, and then go out the window.

…No, that won’t work. Karyat is a drachtal, not to mention that teacher and her friend is still here. I won’t make it past the lab.

Haah…

What to do, what to do…

Ow…

My cheek’s probably really red, isn’t it? My eyes as well. As if I’d let Karyat see me like this.

Thinking that, I jump into the bed and bury my face in the blankets, curling up like a pitiful pillbug. Maybe that’s what I am. Just a sad, pathetic bug.

That’s your plan? Go back to sleep and wallow in self-pity?

Leave me alone.

--- --- ---

The door creaks open and someone walks in. His steps are heavy, which means, not teacher. Which means, she already left. She didn’t even say goodbye to me, despite the fact that we might never see each other again.

What gives her the right…

“Sorry?”

What gives her the right to keep me safe? What if ‘I’ want to keep her safe?

“Umm…”

Shut up, Karyat. I’m not talking to you. What are you doing in my room, anyway?

“Inzhi and Gihan already left.”

Mm...

“She told me to watch over you.”

Mm...

“Don’t worry. I promised her that I’ll keep you saf─ where are you going?” he asked when I suddenly got off the bed.

I look at him with a boorish stare, answering,

Bathroom.

“Oh, okay.”

Mm...

“Wait, your cheek…”

He stops himself as he’s about to say more. Yes, yes, bruised cheek, red eyes, the gentleman figured it out. Thanks for not asking.

I go over to the closet and grab a towel and a change of clothes, then I walk past him and find my way to the bathroom. While I try to sort out my mind, I turn on the faucet for the tub. The pipes vibrate as the pump draws water from a nearby well, causing the house to make some creaking noises.

Might take a while—the well’s pretty deep and the equipment is primitive, as you’d might expect from a place like this.

Then, when I’m about to close the door, there’s a wild Karyat standing in the way.

…Can I help you?

“’Don’t let her out of sight, not even in the bathroom.’ That’s what your teacher said to me.”

I see.

He looks over my shoulders. “Are you going to bathe?”

Yes.

“You know, the weather’s pretty cold. I think it’s fine if you don’t.”

Ah, the water’s started pouring. It’s straight from the soil, should be warm enough.

“Are you still… going to…”

Oh. I was wrong. It’s cold.

Ignoring the man standing in the doorway, I start taking off my robes. Even without looking, I can hear him shifting uncomfortably as I take off my garments, piece by piece.

“Urgh…!”

Karyat swiftly turns his body around, though I don’t know if it was due to embarrassment, or disgust.

Am I too unsightly for you?

“…Sorry.”

So even to a hardened drachtal like him, this body is repulsive. I guess it was my own fault to have expected something different.

…It’s cold.

“…...”

Nothing that can’t be fixed with a little magic, though. Teacher happens to like hot water baths, so just by tinkering with the mana stones under the tub, vapor starts raising from the water.

Mentor.

“…..”

Mentor.

“I─I’m not looking...”

Still shying his gaze from me, his body jerks when I suddenly approach him from behind.

Would you be so kind? I asked as I hand my clothes for him to hold on to.

He obediently takes it without saying anything. I smile to myself as I walk back to the tub, then turning the faucet as far as it allows.

=== === ===

--- --- ---

=== === ===

Karyat is in a predicament right now. He’s frozen in place, with a bundle of clothes in his hands.

Did I offend her…? he thought to himself.

He only saw it for a split-second, but he did see it. He was told that she was a slave before, but… he didn’t think it would be that bad. That, combined with the sight of her bare skin, was what made him react like that.

I should say something…

While thinking of all that, the faucet is turned to its fullest, causing the sound of falling water to fill his ears. Heated by the mana-stones, the vapor from the hot water rises, slowly filling the entire room.

Karyat closes his eyes as he laments his fate. Clearly, something happened before he came here. He thought that Inzhi seemed emotional when he greeted her earlier, and then looking at her apprentice’s face, it doesn’t take a genius to know what’s going on. And now he made it worse. He has to fix it.

“Pardon… I don’t find you unsightly. On the contrary, I find your body quite appealing…”

Only after he said those words did he realize it sounded very wrong in this context.

“No, what I mean to say is… huh?”

Then he notices his soles getting wet.

(Don’t let her out of sight.)

“Oh, crap…”

That moment, he realizes he’d made a mistake, but by the time he turns around, it’s already too late. There’s nothing there but the foggy air and an overflowing tub. At the other end of the bath, a small ventilation shaft is left open. It’s so small that you wouldn’t usually think of anyone going through it. But she could.

She intentionally kept the water on to mask the sound of her climbing out, and made all this vapor to make it harder for Karyat to see her shadow moving around. She even gave him her clothes to put his guard down, because who’d think she’d escape without them!

“Tch.”

He underestimated her. He should’ve understood from the start, that Inzhi wouldn’t give such clear instructions unless there was a good reason for it.

He rushes out the house like the wind and start running from there.

She couldn’t have gone too far.

From what he’s heard, she’s much weaker than the others in Acquisition. Not to mention that she is without clothes. There’s no way she can get away.

Taking into consideration that she just fought with her teacher, and the fact that she just ran outside perfectly nude, her mind might not be in the right condition. She might be in danger!

Thinking that, he runs down the hill with all his might.

=== === ===

--- --- ---

=== === ===

…Is he gone?

I poke my head out from behind the tub to see that Karyat has indeed left. Idiot.

Phew, the vapor was starting to get too hot there.

Okay, I finally have the space I need. Now what?

…..

……….

I didn’t think that far, to be honest.

Idiot.

Say what?!

F─First thing’s first, after getting my bearings, I tread sneakily towards the front door, just in case Karyat is still around. But it looks like that he’s not.

Hot-blooded veterans like him are surprisingly easy to trick. Mwahaha…

On the way to the front, I notice the door to teacher’s study is left open. It’s never open before, nor have I ever seen her use the room. She mostly sticks to the lab ever since we start living separately.

Driven by curiosity, I walk into the room to see if there’s anything incriminating I can—

Ahem. I mean, to see if there’s any news about the demon.

The room is mostly empty. Teacher moved most of her stuff to the lab, so the room is bare except for a single piece of paper on her desk. There’s an open envelope beside it. My detective senses say it’s a letter.

…Whatever is in it is probably private.

Which means, I have to read it.

…Huh? It’s not like what I thought it is. The way it’s composed… some kind of report?

Here is my conclusion on the subject; no strength, no agility, no endurance to speak of. Total weakling.

Pfft. This sounds like something Zethran would say to me.

A twelve years old can probably win in a fistfight.

…Okay, now it’s starting to sound like Zethran.

Vimic cultivation are less than piteous when first inscribed. Frankly, the weakest I’ve ever trained. The results from the physical tests are so low I thought it might be a mistake, but it’s not. Makes me think that a banana peel could easily kill her.

Wahaha! Whoever the report is about must be really pathetic.

She also lies on a compulsive basis. Tends to disregard authority, and morals are dubious at best. Quite a bad influence on other scribes.

Wow, what a problem scribe.

No particular talent to speak of. Coordination is horrendous, she even trips on the lowest hurdles. Reflexes are superb, though with nothing to control it, she’s nothing but a wild monkey with a stick. It pains me to say, it seems that magic is her only talent.

Pfft, compared to a monkey, now. Hahaha…

….

…I don’t know who this is about. I truly don’t.

Ah, there’s something more below.

But the most important thing to note is her mental health. In sparring sessions, she’d talk to this imaginary “Necksi” and often smile, giggle, and laugh by herself. The fact that she doesn’t make a sound makes it even more disturbing. The most extreme case is when she—

Oh, my mistake. That’s the end of the report. There’s nothing else.

…Or is there? There’s another piece of paper hidden in the envelope. It’s a bit crumpled for some reason.

PS: Forgive me for doing this in the post-script of a letter, for I can’t muster the courage to say this directly. I’m just an old man, you see.

Forgive me for being brazen. The elders have been questioning me for being an old bachelor, and you’re at an age where you should start thinking about settling down as well. Also, it took me a while to realize it, but I am attracted to you. Very much, as a matter of fact. Despite our age difference, you and I get along well, but I believe we can make something more from it.I’ve been thinking about our relationship. We’re no longer mentor and pupil since you graduated Acquisition a long time ago, and I don’t think what’s between us is something to be called “friendship” either.

I know you may not feel the same. I know you prefer women, but I think, as an adult, you should think of stability above all else. I can give you that. Love may come a long way, but I’m confident that I can make you happy─

…I’ve read enough.

A report and… a love letter. I can’t really tell the difference. Both are so stiff, but that’s just like him, I guess.

But honestly, what were you thinking? With your age, you could be her dad, you know? Are you a pervert?

You a pervert?

You’re a pervert.

Even worse,

I know you prefer women

What is up with that.

You knew, and you wrote this anyway.

You have no right to say that I’m─ I mean, no right to say that someone else is mentally ill.

…Ah, damn it. My eyes hurt because of all the vapor earlier. I also seem to have inhaled too much, because my lungs feel heavy now.

Does that even make sense?

What? Don’t ask me.

“…Was that our mentor?”

Huh? There’s voices coming from outside. Who?

“I think so.” (???)

“Good thing we hid. But what was he doing here?” (???)

Wait, I know these voices.

Quietly, I go to the front and slam the door open to greet them.

“Bugyaah?!”

Hi.

“By the goddess, you scared me, Fay!”

I grin at her.

My, Ranlan? There was a weird sound, so I thought a pig must’ve gone lost.

“Why you…”

What are you doing here?

“We were coming to pick you up!”

Pick me up?

Saving that question for later, I turn to the guy beside her.

“Hello, Fay.” Anlong greeted me.

Why are you even here, pretty boy? Do you have nothing to do? Is life so boring that you’d rather hear me prattle about things you can’t hear?

“Ahem. So… What was the mentor doing here? And he left so quickly too. Something must’ve happened,” Ranlan said.

Karyat was assigned to watch over me.

“Watch over you? Why?”

It’s complicated. Anyway, I tricked him into thinking that I escaped. Your turn. What are you doing here?

“Oh, uh…”

She looks over to Anlong, which in turns says to me, “We need your help.”

Cool. Let’s go.

“Really?” (Ranlan)

“What did she say?” (Anlong)

“She said ‘let’s go.’ This is easier than I thought it would be.”

Is there any reason why it would be hard?

“N─No, not at all, but… are you okay?”

Yeah, I’m okay.

“Are you sure? Your eyes are…”

I said I’m okay, Ran. Now are we going or not?

They look at each other silently before Ran hops forward to lead the way.

As I suspected, those from the Jade are probably helping out with the evacuations. Everyone except me.

I know teacher will be angry with me, but she needs to know that I don’t need protection. Not because I’m strong, but because no one can protect me. Not her, not Douzhen, and certainly not that joke of a Karyat.

Not from demons at least.

…Eh?

“What’s wrong, Fay?”

No, it’s nothing.

It’s probably just my imagination, but… was that a spider just now?

Advertisement Previous

Chapter Fiction

Index Next

Chapter RSS About the author 3 Fictions 38 Posts 3 Threads Derthian Follow Author Tuesday, August 22, 2017 7:06:03 PM Duck Penguin

Bio: Quack.

Achievements Comments(4) Set Compact Log in to comment

Log In Load Comments Please enable JavaScript to load the comments! Log in to comment

Log In Settings Theme (Entire Website) Dark Light Dim background 0% 20% 40% 50% 60% 80% 100% Font Size 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 20 22 24 28 32 Reader Width Max 90% 80% 70% 60% 50% Font Family Default ————— Open Dyslexic Atkinson Hyperlegible ————— Arial Roboto Open Sans OS Default Comic Sans Lucida Verdana Ubuntu Ubuntu Condensed Franklin Gothic Garamond Caslon Minion Font Color Indent Color Scheme Theme Default OLED Black Royal Road Dark Dark Gray Gray Light Gray Sepia White Paragraph Spacing Close × Give Reputation to User: Points You can specify how many points you want to give (minimum: 0, maximum: 0). Comment (optional) Why are you giving this user reputation? Give Reputation Close About

Royal Road® is the home of web novels and fan fictions! In our amazing community, you can find various talented individuals who write as a hobby or even professionally, artists who create art for them, and many, many readers who provide valuable feedback and encouragement.

Amazon Affiliate Royal Road® is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. Theme Select Dark Light

Follow Us On Need some help? Create a support ticket

Contact Contact Us by Email

Advertising Ads for Authors

Programmatic Advertising Royal Road® © 2013-2022 Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Blog | Status Tap again to scroll to the top!