Intermission 2

Lately I’ve been feeling really tired, more so than usual. Now you may be wondering what in the world I’m talking about, but I’m a God you see, the God of Awesome.

Nah, just kidding. I’m actually the God in charge of reincarnation. Sounds cool yeah? Well It’s boring as shit. For example…

“Huh? Where is this place?”

“You have died.”

“No way!”

“Yep, now go live again.”

“Sweet.”

Picture that conversation and then multiply it by the largest number you know, then times that by two, divide by 7 and add infinity. As you can see, it gets old. Fast.

However there are some unique ones among the bunch. Every once in a while we get a soul from a different world. Before you ask, it isn’t an accident; it was a deal made between the Gods of different worlds. It was meant to help diversify the culture and/or technology.

Anyway back to the main point. It’s these ‘foreign souls’ that have a chance to spice up my otherwise boring job. You could say I almost look forward to see them, and the last one I got did not disappoint.

It was a soul who lived a life of hardship, overcoming trials and finally succeeding. That was the lame part. Right after succeeding, did the explosions start. Then it cranked up the action with a disaster on a cataclysmic scale that threatened an entire continent. Oh boy was it a thrill ride.

When I got that soul, there was a message that the God sending it over attached. It basically read, “This thing should have never acquired sentience, I’m imposing a severe negative karma value to guarantee that it can’t reincarnate into a living thing.”

I understood why the God said that, but I really don’t give a damn about their opinion. However I can’t change the karma of a foreign soul, so my hands were tied.

The conversation with them was amusing. It was a shame that they couldn’t remember their past life, but I had a feeling the other God had a hand in that too. Next time we send one over to them, I’ll be sure to pick an evil overlord or something.

After sending this soul on their way to reincarnate, it was back to the boring souls from our world. Greet, erase memories, become a baby. Wash, rinse, repeat.

It wasn’t until my good buddy Death God, came over to my place once did I find out what that foreign soul had been up to.

It happened when I was just finished with a soul, my skeleton friend, wrapped in his black robes came barging in. “Knock knock fat ass, you busy?”

“Yo Death, I got time to kill, what’s up?”

“Yeah, it’s about a foreign soul that suddenly became one of my heralds. At first I was all like ‘Oh shit, we about to zombie legion the hell out of the world!’ and then I saw that it was a rock. What the hell man, a rock?”

While trying not to laugh out loud, I answered. “Dude, I couldn’t do anything about that. Karma and shit.”

The green fire that was occupying his eye sockets grew red, indicating his anger. “I only get one herald Bro! What the hell can a rock do?!”

“I don’t know… maybe it can…”

“It can what?”

“Sorry I got nothing.”

“Whelp I’m boned for a millennia. Might as well spend it drunk. I’m raiding your booze.”

“Was that a pun just now?”

“Was it funny?”

“Not really.”

“Then no, it wasn’t.”

It would be from here that Death stayed over at my place and used the magic pool to look down at his herald. Every so often I could hear uncontrolled laughter erupt from that room, along with “Are you shitting me? That’s hilarious!” or “Serves you right bitch, become a lich!” or “Haha! She has no head!”

Well, at least he’s having fun.